In His Bed

by Pauline Allan

  She turned around, cutting his heart out as she stared up the back staircase. “I need you to go.” He could hear the tremble in her voice. He knew she was holding back the tears—hell he was barely holding on. “Please do this for me. I need you to move out.”

  She disappeared up the stairway, leaving him with the thoughts he never wanted to face. He was going to lose the woman who carried half his soul.

  By the time he got upstairs, her bedroom door was closed. He grabbed the duffle bag in the closet and threw a few items on the bed. Leaving her, knowing she was in her room upset, was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever done. Telling his mom the truth would be nothing in comparison. He was ready to take on whatever roadblock kept him from being with the woman who’d stolen his heart.

  *****

  Lea arranged the stack of papers on her desk, again. She’d finished all the loose ends on the projects she’d been putting off, even gotten several chapters written on the book. She looked over at Charlie who was sulking, lying on the floor. Lea knew moping around the house wasn’t making anything better, but being productive wasn’t an option. She could barely remember to eat breakfast. How was she supposed to get any work done?

  Her cell phone dinged. When Colin’s name lit the screen, she sighed. Swiping the screen to silence the ringing, she walked into the living room to once again plant her butt on the couch. She started flipping through channels. Next time the phone rang she’d ignore the damn thing. At this point, the sound made her stomach cramp.

  The anticipation was driving her mad. Was Colin leaving another voicemail? Would she cry again if she listened to another one? Was Stacey finally calling to let her explain? The whole mess was over and Stacey had been right; a relationship with Colin was a delusion. Now, she had to concentrate on mending a dear friendship she dreaded to lose.

  She picked up the phone and scrolled through until she found Stacey’s name. After typing her apologies once again, she hit send. Maybe one of the messages would convince her friend to call or text back. Lea fingered the fringe on the pillow. This was probably how Colin was feeling, waiting on the response that may never come.

  The knock on the door was followed by Rachel walking through. “I brought the necessities,” she said, pulling her lips into a frown. She lifted three plastic grocery bags. “I’ve got ice cream, chips, frozen pizzas, and two movies. Stacey called me today.”

  Instead of jumping up to help her friend carry the bags to the kitchen, she dug her ass farther into the couch cushion. “I’m not up for it. I just want to sit here and—”

  Rachel set the bags on the coffee table. “Listen, Lea, you had a passionate affair with a hot guy. I told you so, by the way. Now, you’re punishing yourself for enjoying the hot sex? I assume the sex was scorching. Yeah,” she said with dreamy eyes. “I bet he could move those hips.”

  Lea humphed and curled her legs up on the couch. “It’s more...it was more than that, Rachel.”

  Her friend softened her smile and sat down on the couch. “I know. I could tell you two were in deep when we went to get pizza. You think Scott and I couldn’t see you guys holding hands under the table?”

  Lea flinched. “You knew?”

  “Yes, sweetie, anyone in the restaurant could see you two were in love.”

  Just when she thought her eyes had dried up, the tears wetted her cheeks. “He’s—he’s too young and Stacey hates me. We’ve been through too much for me to betray her like this. I’m horrible.”

  Rachel chuckled. “Horrible? Kidnappers, murderers, and garlic bread flavored chips are horrible. You—you’re just a woman who fell in love with a younger man.”

  Lea wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Not just a younger man, my best friend’s son.”

  Rachel scooted closer and Lea leaned into the hug. “Sometimes things in life seem like boulders blocking the way when they’re really stepping stones to the next great thing. For you, Colin is that next great thing.”

  “But what if—”

  Rachel sat back. “What if he wants to get married? What if he wants kids? Lea, you’re not seventy years old! You can still have kids and you can still get married. Sure, Colin is younger, but you’ve never been one to stay stagnant. You like to be on the go and do fun things. He’s the perfect partner for you. Can’t you be open-minded?”

  Being open-minded could be a bridge she might be able to cross, but betraying her best friend was a boulder and not a damn stepping stone. “I hurt Stacey, Rachel. If I’m in Colin’s life, I’ll have to live knowing I caused a horrible distance between them.”

  Rachel shook her head. “Cop out, Lea. It took both of you to make this relationship, so you’re not taking all the heat for this. Colin has taken his own hits the last couple of days, now it’s your turn.”

  Lea stared at her friend. “What are you talking about?”

  “Lea, when he moved out, he didn’t go back home. He’s at his partner’s house.”

  “He didn’t move back home?” Lea was sure he’d have gone home to patch things up with his mom.

  “No, he hasn’t spoken to his mom since she found you guys in the kitchen.” Lea felt the heat in her cheeks radiate down her neck. “I know!” Rachel teased. “Stacey told me everything. God, it sounded so hot.”

  Lea threw a pillow at her. “Shut up! It was embarrassing.”

  Rachel lowered her smile. “I can imagine. Listen, let’s watch a movie, eat some junk food, and forget about all this for a little while. You need a break.”

  She reached out, grabbed Rachel’s hand and squeezed. “I love you. Do you know that?”

  Rachel dipped her head. “Yes, I know. Now, can we forget this smooshy shit and eat some ice cream?”

  Lea stood up and pulled Rachel up off the couch. “Come on, if we’re going to stuff our faces, I say let’s dig into those pizzas.”

  Lea waited until Rachel left to turn the lamps off downstairs. She picked up Charlie and headed upstairs. She plopped Charlie on the bed. The dog hopped down and trotted across the hall into Colin’s room. Lea followed, stopping in the dark room, well, almost dark, the Transformers night-light glowed in the corner.

  She walked into his bathroom and flipped on the wall switch. Behind the shower curtain, she found a bottle of body wash. She opened the cap and sniffed. Instantly, her eyes were wet and her pussy throbbed. She set the bottle on the edge of the tub and opened the medicine cabinet. Inside, she found a small bottle of cologne. On the floor, in a heap, were a T-shirt and pair of boxer briefs. Taking the bottle, she leaned down and picked up the T-shirt.

  Two sprays and the shirt smelled like Colin’s fresh skin. She tucked the wrinkled fabric against her chest and carried it back into the bedroom. The pillows were still arranged from the last time he’d slept. She picked up Charlie and planted her on the bed before sliding under the sheet. With the T-shirt tucked under her chin, she closed her eyes.

  Tonight, she was going to rest, pretending her man’s strong arms were holding her as she fell asleep. Tomorrow...she was going to climb a boulder.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Colin pulled into the driveway and turned off the truck. His dad dropped a bag of garbage in the waste can. Colin rested his elbow on the open window.

  “Mom home?”

  Dave pointed his thumb toward the garage. “She’s been getting the yard sale stuff ready for the last three days. She goes out there and hides after work. Hell, I haven’t had a decent meal since she started unpacking boxes.”

  Colin studied the steering wheel. “She’s pretty upset?”

  “Son, go talk to her. I don’t care how you live your life. Lea’s a nice woman, but you could’ve taken a different route with this. I didn’t feel right telling your mom. That was between the two of you to sort out. She’s been a mess.”

  Colin gave a curt nod and got out of the truck. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and headed up the driveway. When Stacey saw him coming, she dropped a plastic bowl into an open box. Instead of sm
iling, she brought her hand to her mouth. He could see her shoulders tremble as he walked into the shade of the garage.

  “Mom,” Colin said, feeling like he was sixteen asking if he could borrow the car, “can I talk to you?”

  She sat down in an open lawn chair and wiped the drifting tears from her eyes. “You haven’t answered my calls.”

  He pulled up the other chair and sat down. “I know. I needed time. I’m not here to tell you I’m giving up on the woman I love.”

  “Colin—”

  “Mom...I love her. I’m sorry you had to find out like that. I’m embarrassed not because I was with Lea, but because of what you saw. I’m sorry, Mom. I meant no disrespect.”

  “You and Lea both disrespected me by keeping your affair a secret. It hurts, Colin. I thought we were close. Hell, you told your dad.”

  “He guessed. Lea and I needed time to figure thing out. She had so many reservations, Mom. She kicked me out because of her fears and her friendship with you. She tried to tell me it couldn’t work, but we fell in love and there was nothing that was going to keep us from exploring what we felt.”

  She ran her hand over her forehead. “Colin, she’s almost twice your age. You’re going to want kids, a home, someone to grow old with.”

  Now, she sounded like Lea. “I can have all those things. I can’t see experiencing those things with anyone else. We can still have a couple of kids and all the things I’d have with someone my age. I’ve been out there dating and it’s a joke. I’m looking at my future while guys my age want to party and not grow up. I did that in college. I don’t want to see a different woman every week. I want Lea—her confidence, her sharp sense of humor, the way she cares for her dog. I want—need—everything about her.”

  She looked out into the setting sun. “Have you talked to her since I...since I found you two?”

  Colin ran his hand through his short hair. “I’ve called every day. She won’t call me back or answer my texts. It’s killing me, Mom.”

  His mom wiped a tear from her cheek. “She’s called every day. I haven’t answered the phone. I miss her, Colin. We’ve been through her divorce, you leaving for college—we’re each other’s rock.”

  He hung his head. “I know. I don’t want to come in between you two, but I can’t stand by and watch her walk away. I can’t. I’m sorry for that, but I can’t just turn off my feelings.”

  “I love you, Colin. This isn’t how I pictured your future. I wanted the big wedding, a daughter-in-law, and grandkids. Now...now…”

  Colin grabbed his mom’s hand and gently squeezed. “Now, you can have that, if she’ll take me back. I don’t know if she’ll have me now, but I’m going to fight damn hard for us. She thinks I’m too young for her, but I know she feels the same as I do. I want her to see through the things she thinks should keep us apart and make her realize this is our future and worth fighting for.”

  “This—she’s, what you want? Five years from now, you’re going to feel the same?”

  He tipped his mouth into a grin. “This is what I want—she’s who I want.”

  She stood up and Colin saw a glimmer of hope when the corner of her mouth curled up. “I love you, son. Please don’t ever keep the important events in your life from me. You may be her man, but you’re still my baby.”

  Colin stood up and pulled her into his arms. “I love you, Mom. I love you so damn much.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Dave walked into the garage. “Can I have something decent to eat now?”

  Colin and Stacey laughed. “Spaghetti sound okay?” she asked Colin.

  “Sounds great,” he said as he wiped a couple stray tears from her cheeks.

  She wrapped her arm around his waist. “This will always be your home, Colin. Please remember that.”

  “I’ll never forget.”

  His mom and dad talked as they made their way back into the house. Colin followed, reaching into his pocket to check his phone.

  Charlie slept in your bed last night.

  His heart, feeling like it started to beat for the first time in a week, made him lightheaded.

  Tell her I wish I had slept with her mom instead of sleeping on a lumpy couch.

  When she didn’t reply, a pang of hope dimmed but didn’t fade out. Now, he had to figure out a way to convince her nothing else mattered but how they felt in each other’s arms. He walked into the house determined to get his woman back.

  *****

  Lea unlocked her car and sat inside. She rifled through her purse as the muffled sound of her phone echoed from some mysterious place in the bag. Finally fishing it out, she read the text.

  Don’t forget to bring your stuff over by six. The yard sale starts at seven. Rachel is having Scott bring by the treadmill they had in their bedroom. You know the one she uses as a hanger.

  Lea felt hot tears streak down her face. She texted back with shaky fingers.

  I don’t think she has ever walked on the thing. I’ll be there by six.

  Remembering Colin’s threat if she texted and drove, she waited to see if Stacey was going to text back before starting the car.

  Colin stopped by yesterday. Coffee in an hour? Your place?

  Lea’s shoulders heaved as she cried. The hot tears were for the hope of having her friend back in her life, for the shame of betraying someone she loved, and for losing her one shot at true happiness. Colin was right—their age difference didn’t matter. She wasn’t an old maid. Lea knew she’d earned her years but wasn’t done living out the youth of her life. Like a sweet wine or a perfectly ripe peach, with each passing moment she was more ready for what life had to offer. She still had time to have a baby, and marriage wasn’t out of the question.

  Colin had established the vision for his life. He’d completed college and, in Colin fashion, was quickly achieving the goals in his career—and he loved her. She had to fight for the precious things in life and Colin was worth battling all of her fears.

  I would love that. I’ll be home in thirty minutes.

  Stacey’s text came through immediately. See you soon.

  Lea smiled and even laughed through the tears. Would it be possible for Colin to take her back? For her beloved friend to know how much she cared about their friendship? God, she hoped so.

  When she pulled up, Stacey’s car was already parked on the far side of the driveway. The flutter in her stomach turned into ripples and lunges. She walked up to where Stacey sat on the porch swing.

  “Do you know how much he loves you?” Stacey asked as she toed the wooden planks on the floor.

  Lea sat down on the swing. “I do.”

  Stacey nodded. “He used to tell me everything. He’d dated a lot of girls in college, never kept any of them around very long. He’d always tell me it didn’t feel right. He only brought one of them home and when she mentioned marriage, he ended that one, too.”

  “I bet that drove you crazy. I know how much you wanted him to find someone.”

  Stacey sighed and leaned her head back, taking in a deep breath. She eyed Lea from the corner of her vision and said, “He came by the house. I pictured a big wedding, you know, grandkids and cookouts.”

  “I understand. I wanted kids. I still do.”

  “He’s so young,” she said, finally meeting Lea’s eyes. “How can this work?”

  Lea felt the hope drain from her heart. “I don’t know, but I do know that no relationship is perfect and we’d have to figure things out as we went along. I know this is a shock. Believe me, it was to me, too. I can’t explain it other than to say we’re in love. It might be pointless now. I haven’t answered his calls or texts in a week.”

  “He loves you, Lea. I’ve never heard him talk about a woman the way he did about you. With one word, you could break his heart. I can’t bear to watch my son go through that. I know what’s going on may not be my business, but, as your friend, I wish you would’ve come to me. I might not have approved, but at least we wouldn’t have the lie bet
ween us. I feel like a fool for not seeing it. That evening at the softball game, thinking back, I should’ve known. He looked right at you and asked you to go to dinner. It was if he’d done it a thousand times.”

  “Stacey, I can’t take back what I did, but I can be honest from here forward. I want you to know, if he’d take me back, I’d never break his heart again. I want many more dinners with him. I want to see him every day, to love him every morning and comfort him after a stressful day at work.”

  Tears glistened in Stacey’s eyes. “He’s my baby, Lea.”

  Lea wiped the tears streaking her own cheeks. “I understand.”

  Stacey nodded and leaned over to pull her into a tight hug. “I missed you. I don’t want to let you go either. Please be patient with me.”

  Lea laughed. “Please be patient with me, too.”

  They sat back, both relaxing their bodies against the swing. “I’ll need your help tomorrow. I’m selling some of Dave’s crap and I’m afraid he’s not going to let the stuff go. I need someone on my side.”

  “No problem,” Lea said. “I’ll always be your wing man. Well, wing woman.”

  Stacey laughed as she stood and tugged on Lea’s hand to bring her in for another hug. “I got to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Lea nodded. “I look forward to it.”

  As Stacey pulled out of the driveway, she gave a wave, and Lea waved back.

  Lea ran upstairs and riffled through her closet. Charlie danced in circles as dresses were tossed on the bed. “Ah,” she said and pulled out the red knee-length wrap dress. “Perfect.” She gathered the black heels and headed for the bathroom.

  Turning on the shower, she studied her reflection in the mirror and grinned. She wasn’t old. Hell no. Rosy cheeks, tight skin, plump arms—she was a newly blossomed daisy. Her laughter was a welcome surprise. “Charlie, it’s time to bring our man home.”

  *****

  Colin shuffled out of the precinct, dead tired from the long runs he and Hernandez had been on. All he wanted to do was go home, stand in a hot shower, and slide into bed next to Lea, but the way things were looking that might never ever happen again. His phone vibrated. He pulled it out and stopped in front of his truck.