Deviate

by Tracy Clark

  Mari licked her swollen lip and fought to pull her chin up. Her eyes blinked heavily. Ultana had obviously depleted her aura already, but she found the strength to laser a stare that had enough hateful spite in it to burn a hole in iron. “I have faith in the fact that I’d beat your ass if you weren’t a monster. I trust you know this and that’s why you’ve tied me up. To make it a fair fight ’n’ all.”

  Jaysus, could she not control her mouth for even one minute? I shook my head and gave Mari a warning look from behind Ultana. Ultana turned to me. I thought she was about to say something as her upper lip curled into a sneer, but without taking her eyes from me, she backhanded Mari as hard as I’d ever seen a woman hit someone.

  I leaped forward but halted when Ultana held up her stump of a hand, and from Mari’s scream I could tell she was being taken from. “Move again, and I will kill her.” Mari gasped as Ultana released her hold on Mari’s spirit. “I will ask the questions,” Ultana said, slightly panting. “And for every dissatisfactory nonanswer she gives, you will take from her.”

  “No.”

  The malicious look I received chilled me. I’d been stupid not to fear Ultana Lennon. “Are you putting this common human’s life before your own? You do this, and I will give you the first opportunity to get what you so desperately want. You could save so many people.”

  “You said they were working on it, not that it had been achieved. I’m willing to die to save her, yes.”

  “Your death will not save her!” she bellowed, spit flying from her lips. “You do this, Finn, or I will kill her right here, right now.”

  It was all I could do to look at Mari. But she deserved for me to look her in the eyes. “Please, Mari. Tell her what you can,” I said, hoping she understood that I didn’t want Cora’s whereabouts compromised. I wanted this all to stop. If this research facility had a possible solution, then maybe no one else would have to die. I could barely get the next words out, but I needed Mari to know. “There is no part of me that wants this. I do not want to do this.”

  Mari blinked a slow blink of understanding.

  Ultana stood next to me. “You know of us because you have family who are Scintilla?”

  “I didn’t say that. He did.”

  “No point in denying it. I can taste it. How many of your family are Scintilla?”

  When Mari didn’t answer me, Ultana nudged my arm. I had zero practice with any kind of finesse. All I could think of was what my father had told me. There are ways to make it easier on them. Imagining the anahata for the heart chakra, I directed my energy on Mari’s heart center, trying to pull gently from her spirit. Her head jerked up when I started. A look of pain and loathing flashed in her eyes. I stopped and Ultana leered at me, muttering under her breath about weakness. Mari’s energy pumped through my blood, giving me a momentary hit of vigor. I hated that I felt like a tiger wanting to lunge at the prey in front of me.

  “How many?” Ultana asked her again.

  “If you’re going to kill me anyway, what’s my motivation to tell you?” Mari asked. Ultana’s response was to nudge me, harder this time. I held my breath and pulled from Mari’s aura again. Traces of intoxicating Scintilla energy ran through her soul.

  Mari cried out, tears dropping onto her lap. “Three, that I know of.”

  Just what Ultana wanted to hear.

  “Are they in Ireland?”

  “Screw you.”

  Ultana shoved me aside, and Mari’s body jerked forward so hard, the chair screeched on the floor. Ultana released her hold, and Mari’s head arched back in a yell. Not a cry, not a whimper—a primal scream. She was angry and shook a traitorous tear from her cheek when she looked at me. “They are scattered.” Mari gasped. “To the winds,” she said, “because—because they know the Arrazi want three of them.”

  I held in my relieved sigh, but still Ultana looked at me with suspicion. If what Mari said was true, it was possibly the smartest thing the trio could have done. Though I worried for Cora to be alone, and for her wee mother as well.

  “How do they know the Arrazi seek three?” Ultana asked.

  Mari hesitated too long, and Ultana practically knocked my rib out with her elbow. I took from Mari again, if only to spare her the agony of Ultana’s viciousness, drawing Mari’s sweet aura slowly as I could from her body. My self-control was faltering. I needed completion so badly. I desired that flame that burned within her. I shook with want but kept Cora’s sweet face in my mind. I could control this. There had to be a way out.

  “You know about baby rattlesnakes, Finn?” Mari gasped when I stopped. She was completely slumped over, her black hair pointing like sharp charcoal pencils toward the floor. Her body swayed in the chair, but the ropes held her mostly upright. “The baby ones…are the most…dangerous,” she said in halted speech. “They can’t control their venom. Careful the baby ones.”

  I didn’t understand. Was Mari using what little chances she had to take jabs at me for my lack of finesse because I was a young, inexperienced Arrazi? Was she saying that I was hurting her more than Ultana? That didn’t seem possible. It felt like code.

  “Where are they?” Ultana asked.

  Mari struggled mightily to look up. Dread pooled in my gut. She wasn’t going to play along. I both admired her and was infuriated by her.

  “Stop this,” I begged Ultana. “Maybe she doesn’t know. Or, if she does, she can obviously keep their whereabouts a secret, so she can keep us a secret. Let her go! I’ll do anything you want. Let her go.” I wasn’t aware that tears flowed down my cheeks until I saw the perplexed look on Ultana’s face as she touched one, almost as though she’d never seen tears before. “I’m begging you, Ultana…”

  “Do it, you pussy!” Mari screamed at me through her own tears. “I’m not going to tell her what she wants to know.”

  “My thoughts exactly.” Ultana cackled. “Enough of this. Kill her now or I will kill her myself. I very much want to.”

  “Come here,” Mari said weakly. Her eyes implored. I slid onto my knees in front of her, shaking with dread and desperation and hunger. “I know you’re trying, but I’m not leaving here alive,” she whispered. “We both know that. Please, Finn… Better to be you,” she said softly, a sob escaping. “I’d rather be a part of someone who loves her.”

  “I can’t.”

  Behind me, Ultana gave an impatient call of my name—a warning that her tolerance was through and time had run out.

  “Please…”

  I placed my hands on Mari’s face and lifted it up. “I’m so sorry,” I said, looking into her eyes. “Forgive me.”

  I shook as I hugged Mari and held her close to me, stroking her hair while siphoning her aura into mine. A knife was at both our throats. Next to Cora, Mari was the bravest person I’d ever known. Slowly, gently, I pulled from her until I felt a snap of release, and a seismic blast of strong and vivacious energy amplified in my own. The full weight of her head fell to my shoulder.

  Nauseating desolation cut me as though my being was filleted by a giant blade. Deeper guilt than I’ve ever known dragged its nails across the raw pink of my soul. I kissed Mari’s temple. Full of strength and fury, I leaped to my feet, spun around, and pinned Ultana Lennon to the wall by her neck. “I will never forgive you for this,” I spat. “I’ll kill you before I ever do your dirty work again.”

  A raspy laugh erupted from her. What on earth could she find so comical when a man had his fist clutching her throat, more than ready to pinch the life from her? It satisfied me to see her skin turning white around my fingertips, my nails digging into the loose flesh.

  “Save your worthless gift of forgiveness for yourself, lad,” she choked. “And don’t threaten me. I’ve been on this earth too long. You think a threat from you is going to intimidate me?” she said in a fit of maniacal giggles.

  “It should.” My hand rose to clutch her face.

  Her gaze shifted over my shoulder before something struck hard and low at the base of my sku
ll. Immediately, I swayed on my feet and fell to the floor. The last thing I saw was Ultana looking down on me with disdain. “Your ignorance is your biggest weakness.”

  Fifty-One

  Cora

  “Those men with guns…you know how they burst in on us when I shoved Dr. M? They were watching somehow. They’ve got to be watching us, don’t you think?” Giovanni and I lay side by side in the only bed in the room. Another day had come and gone and we’d figured no way out of the makeshift apartment. There were no outer windows. Food was delivered through a metal door that my head wouldn’t fit through. No one would answer our repeated yells for help.

  I’d slept maybe three hours per night over the past two nights. Stress, worry, and exhaustion smudged black circles under my eyes. I’d never bitten my nails before, but now they were chewed down to the raw pink parts.

  Giovanni pulled my fingers away from my mouth. “If he plans on watching everything, he’s a sick voyeuristic fu—”

  “Shhh,” I whispered into his ear. “The only way we’re going to get out of here is if we pretend. We have to make him believe we’ve accepted what has to happen.” A loud, awkward gulp followed. “If he does, he’ll take me out for more testing, I’m sure.”

  “I don’t see how we’re going to get out of here otherwise. Every hour is another stone stacking the odds against Mari, your mother, and Dun. Claire must be taken from this place, too. I won’t let my child live under his thumb any longer.”

  “I know. It’s been two days. The longer we take to do something, the less time they have. I don’t think Dr. M will buy it if we just tell him the deed is done. We have to operate on the assumption that nothing is private. Our only chance for escape is to first get out of this room.”

  “If I get even one toe out of this room, they’d better prepare for a fight to the death.”

  “Yes,” I said, feeling bloodlust heat me. “If you can pull one gun into each hand and toss me one like a movie stunt, we’d at least be armed.” My stomach rolled at the thought of those big black guns. I’d never fired a gun in my life. “I have to find my mother and Dun, you must get Claire, and hopefully we’ll get everyone out of here in one piece. I’m sick about Mari. Between her and my mother, I can barely stand the worry.”

  “I’ve been watching you. I see that,” he said. “It’s killing me to see you this way.”

  I smacked the pillow, rolled away from him, and went to take a shower. As hot water cascaded down my back, I was surer than ever that my plan could work. It would be the most phenomenal acting job of our lives, but if we convinced Dr. M we were on board, then he’d likely give us more freedom—false freedom that I planned to exploit to earn the real kind.

  You’ll never be truly free, my inner voice chided.

  I toweled off and dressed, steeling myself to go out and act on my idea. Immediately. Nothing was more important to me than getting my family somewhere truly safe.

  If there was such a place in this world…

  Giovanni looked me over as I approached, hair wet, legs bare, with nothing but a large shirt to cover me. It took everything in me not to cut and run back to the bathroom. I took a deep, calming breath, reminded myself why we had to act this out, and stood before him with my palms sweating.

  “Kiss me.”

  He took so long to reply, it was excruciating. “Please,” I murmured, and then spoke louder, just in case. “I want you to kiss me.”

  Auras betrayed everything and his was no different. Auras spoke the truth, even when people thought they were keeping their emotions in check. His extended for me even as his arms stayed at his side. He bit his lip, another tell.

  “Try to look at me with loving eyes, because I don’t think I can stand to see disdain when I kiss you for the first time,” he said. His voice was so tender and vulnerable, it made me realize he was as nervous as I was.

  “I do see you with loving eyes, G.” His brows drew up into a question; his eyes showed a sincere desire to believe me. “And this won’t be the first time you’ve kissed me,” I reminded him, recalling his passionate kiss when I’d saved his life, remembering being flipped over and his body covering mine, his hands holding mine above my head. I flushed, the memory adding more flapping to the chorus of wings already in my belly.

  He narrowed his crystal-blue eyes lit with mischief. “If I do it right, it will feel like the first time. Every time.”

  Nerves planted my feet in one spot. I didn’t know how to begin the charade but, as if in a dream, I somehow floated toward Giovanni, movement tickling the pads of my feet. Looking down, I realized the rug was ribboning in front of me because he pulled it with his sortilege, drawing me slowly to him.

  He stepped forward over the mini-mountains of rug, his silver aura ticking off the beats of his heart. My own aura jumped in step with his, danced to his as it tended to do when we were close. This was all a ruse, pretend, but my body wasn’t playing fair. It was in a state of willing anticipation as he reached out, remembering the way he coaxed want out of me without even touching me. My body desired to be touched. If I let myself imagine hard enough and deny why we were in this room, then I could see Giovanni with fresh eyes. I could see him the way I might have if Finn had never existed.

  Openness and heat rolled off him. His energy was a force that collided with mine even before we touched. I backed away from it like a child trying to tiptoe away from the surge of a wave. My back hit the wall.

  The look in his eyes sent a shock wave of exhilaration through me, and before my brain could process it, deconstruct it, or overanalyze it, his hands were pressing the wall on either side of my head, his long frame leaning forward without touching me, but almost, so close. His mouth hovered so close to my mouth. My breathing intensified, my heart pounded, and he hadn’t touched me. He was teasing me. Again.

  I reached up and clasped the back of his neck, yearning for the ferocity he’d once shown to reemerge. He was such a take-charge guy. Where was that now when I was nervous down to my hair follicles? But he didn’t advance. He drew it out, practically causing me to want him. He stood tall and raised his face out of my reach, looking down at me with unmasked intensity.

  “You’re trembling, Cora.”

  “I—I know. You’re making me nervous.” Even my voice was quaking.

  “I’m making you excited.” I tried to deny it, but he put his finger over my lips as he’d done the day we first met. “Your aura shows me the truth.”

  I turned my head away, feeling as exposed as if I were standing naked. It occurred to me that I soon might be. We are playacting. Faking. This is all pretend. Giovanni bent and peered into my face. “Kiss me,” he pleaded, softly. “Please, don’t make me feel like I’m yet another person bending your will.”

  We looked deeply into each other’s eyes. We both understood this was a dangerous game we were playing, dangerous on two levels. In a game of pretend, what was real and what was false could twist and cling together like strangling vines until you weren’t sure which was which. There was an undeniable situation happening beneath the surface of our lie. As his face shone down on me with sincerity and tenderness and heart-wrenching disclosure, my heart opened to let him in.

  I placed both palms on his chest, feeling the current shoot through my hands and up my arms. The pulse in his neck fired faster. It was there that I kissed him first. The soft, velvet spot of skin fluttered under my lips. He exhaled a soft moan into my hair.

  Nerves fell away as I lost some of my internal battles. I tasted his skin, marveled at the increase in energy that flowed stronger between us when I dared to lower my walls. It was powerful, primal at its molten core. From there, it spread outward, enveloping us both in what looked silver to my eyes but felt like pink and yellow blushing into the red of desire at its tips, like a rose.

  Stone-still but gazing down at me with unveiled want, he kept his arms on the wall. This allowed me to tiptoe out of my resistance to the situation. We had to pull this off. Dr. M had to believe
we really had sex. Yet I was shocked to feel that the more I touched Giovanni, the more I wanted to. My hands wrapped over his rounded shoulders, over his arms, and ran down the coiled length of them, feeling strength in the hills and ridges of his muscles. He was so controlled. His tapered fingers clawed into the wall, but he didn’t move them. Not yet.

  Both of us breathed faster. Time buffered, cocooning us, shining a spotlight on where we stood chest to chest—two people whose complicated lives had become knotted by a strange destiny.

  I stood on tiptoe and kissed his lips, softly at first, shoving acidic guilt down as I did. When our lips met, his control faltered. His hands slipped from the wall. He clutched me to him, burying one hand in my hair and the other at the small of my back. Opening our mouths to each other was like unlocking a vault of secret wants and unspoken yearnings, and we explored all of them with each kiss.

  With a flick of his hand, the comforter on the bed flew to the footboard. He scooped me up and carried me, his kisses never stopping. He planted them on my cheek, my neck, my temple, and my waiting mouth. So gently, he laid me down and stood over me, his broad chest rising with fast breaths as he yanked his shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor. I studied his lean but muscular body—the height and commanding presence of a Viking, the languid prowl of his Italian ancestry. Objectively, I had to admit that Giovanni was striking. Sexy.

  He crawled over me, his eyes traveling up my body as he did, their depths darkening with want. The blanket rose up and hovered over us like a magical cloud. I was grateful, knowing he shielded me. I closed my eyes as I pulled my own shirt over my head, throwing it off the side of the mattress.

  I didn’t expect him to stop and stare at my body in astonishment. I started to cross my arms. “No…sei molto bella…” he whispered in Italian. “You’re so beautiful. So beautiful.”