The Night We Said Yes

by Gibaldi,Lauren

I’m not sure what came over me. Maybe it was the darkness of the night, maybe it was my newfound braveness, maybe it was the strength I got from knowing Meg was always with me in my bracelets, or maybe it was the warmth in his eyes. I reached down, grabbed his hand, and squeezed it. He jumped a little and looked me right in the eyes.

  “This night may be memorable enough for that,” I responded, and as I let go, he grabbed my hand and squeezed it back.

  We spent the rest of the walk not touching, but I was completely aware of the space between our hands.

  “I guess the party is officially over,” Matt said as we walked up toward the house we were at earlier. It was quiet, dark except for a few lights on downstairs. A lot of the cars were still there, but that was probably because most people ran away, like us.

  Matt had driven with Jake to the party, so they took one car, and I jumped in with Meg. We forced Matt to drive, since Jake had been drinking at the party for a while.

  Inside the car, I scrolled through Meg’s iPod just to give my hands something to do as I kept flashing back to the conversation about memories and to our touch. My hand still felt warm from where he grabbed it, as if the moment was imprinted on my skin.

  “You looked like you were getting friendly with Matt,” Meg said, starting the car.

  “He’s nice,” was all I could respond.

  “Uh-huh. And you, my dear, need nice right now.”

  “It won’t work. I mean, he moves around so often. I can’t date someone and know it’ll only be temporary.”

  “Why not? Did you think Nick would be forever?” When I first learned Nick liked me, Meg was up to boyfriend number four and I was still at a staggering zero. I was always happy for her, but my constant lack of a significant other started getting to me—I felt rejected, lonely. I was always the third wheel, and while Meg didn’t mind, I did. So when Nick asked me out, I had to say yes. As it turned out, saying yes wasn’t always the best solution. “Because, let’s be honest. He was clearly temporary.”

  “I know, but—”

  “Plus, you’ll be graduating in a year. Think of that. Do you really want to go off to college with a boyfriend?”

  “I don’t know, I just think—”

  “Stop thinking, and just do. Isn’t that what tonight’s all about? You need to have fun. You need to get over Nick. And you need to stop stressing about the future. Just enjoy the moment.” I nodded, knowing she was right. I was always wrapped in the future, planning what would happen next. I didn’t like surprises. “It’s like when you didn’t cut your hair this year, because you were afraid it would be too short for homecoming. Just . . . cut your hair!”

  “Okay!” I said, exasperated from her urging, and wondering if it was that easy to simply change. “Okay.”

  “Good.” She smirked.

  “Good,” I responded. “And what about you and Jake?”

  “What about us?”

  “Is everything okay? I mean, you were ready for a fight most of the night.”

  “I have to be when it comes to him. If I let my guard down, he’ll just swoop right back in. Believe me.”

  “Do you want that?” I asked tentatively.

  “Of course not,” she said with a toss of her hair, but I could see the hesitance cross her face. I reached for her hand and grabbed the yellow-and-red string bracelet that was about a year old.

  “You’re still wearing this.” I eyed her.

  “It was a big night,” she said. “I mean, aside from me and Jake making up for the thousandth time. We both passed that chem quiz we were worried about. . . .”

  “Uh-huh.” I smiled, knowing the reason she hadn’t cut it off had nothing to do with chemistry. Or perhaps it did. “You and Jake do have a lot of chemistry.”

  “Oh shut up.” She stifled a laugh.

  “And physics,” I added, and she shook her head at me.

  “You’re ridiculous.”

  We drove up behind Shop & Shop and parked next to a loud radiator and a row of trash cans. A black cat was perched atop one of the bins, eyeing the car as it pulled up. It didn’t run away, or even flinch when the lights beamed onto it.

  Matt pulled Jake’s truck up beside Meg’s car. We agreed earlier to park in the back so the store didn’t see Jake buying alcohol for four people, all of whom were underage. I never would have thought of that, as it was my first booze run.

  “What will we have?” Jake asked, getting out of the truck.

  “I’ll come with you,” Meg said, opening her door. I jerked my head in her direction. How did she expect to get away with it? “I have an ID, too,” she said to me, lowering her eyes.

  “Since when? You never told me.”

  “Since Jake.” She sighed. “We’ll be back.”

  They walked around the building together. I watched until I couldn’t see them anymore. This was not a good idea.

  A knock at my window jumped me out of my thoughts. I turned and found Matt smiling, with his head tilted to the side. “Truck bed?” he asked, nodding toward the back of the truck. The word “bed” made me blush, but I nodded and unbuckled my seat belt as he opened my door. “I thought it would be more comfortable than sitting in the truck. Do you realize how bad it smells in there?”

  “Why do you think I drive with Meg?” I said, laughing. “I once found a black French fry in there. How a French fry turned black, I have no idea.”

  “Gross,” Matt said.

  I followed him to the back of the truck, and we sat down, letting our legs hang over the side. My hand gripped the edge of the truck, and I noticed Matt’s hand was inches away from mine. I wanted to grab it, feel his touch again. His pinkie twitched and I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. When I looked up, I caught him staring at our not-quite-touching hands, too.

  “So, excited for the night?” Matt asked, turning his face toward the blackness in front of us. The parking lot was empty, save for the trash cans. The smell out there wasn’t much better than inside Jake’s truck. The cat, I noticed, was still there, only now it was distracting itself with a paper bag. Behind the lot was a line of trees, which hid us from the main road. We looked at them and I wondered what was going on behind them. Perhaps the cops had broken up another high school party over there.

  “Yeah, it’s nice to go out once in a while.”

  “Do you go out often?”

  “Not really. I mean, on the weekends, but my weekdays are pretty much at home, or at Meg’s house.”

  “How well do you know the band?” he asked, finally looking at me.

  “Pretty well. Barker’s a good friend . . . he’s awesome. Their old bassist was fine; I didn’t know him that well, but we got along. And then there’s Jake who’s . . . Jake.”

  “That’s a good way of describing him,” he said with a chuckle. I liked when he laughed; his whole face lit up.

  “He’s a good guy, despite everything. He really is,” I explained. I found myself justifying his behavior more often than I should have. Meg was rubbing off on me. “The situation with Meg was just . . . weird.”

  “They seem to get along fine now.”

  “On and off. Today’s a good day,” I pointed out, not quite condoning their relationship. Because I love them, and love them together, but can’t imagine being in a relationship like that, especially after Nick. Our feet were swinging over the truck, his almost touching the ground, while mine flew freely. I felt like a kid on a swing set.

  “And high-five guy? He’s not part of the group?”

  “Oh god, no. He’s in a band, but not one as good as the Pepperpots. I met him at a club—clearly a bad idea. The others hated him, apparently.” What I didn’t say is that he reminded me of Jake, in a way, and that I wanted to see if I, like Meg, could be the girlfriend of a lead singer and guitarist and handle that. Because, at the time, it worked for her. But as it turned out . . . it wasn’t so much for me. “He’s the lead singer, and I couldn’t handle his constant flirting with other girls, you know?”
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br />   “I guess it’s good he’s gone, then,” he said with a smirk. Was he flirting? Or was he always like that? He didn’t talk to Meg that way, just me. “What he did was pretty ridiculous.”

  “Well . . . it wasn’t just that. He cheated on me, too,” I admitted. I didn’t know what came over me, but I felt like he had to know. We could joke about my breakup all we wanted, but there was one part that was still sore.

  “Seriously?” he asked, taken aback.

  “Yeah, I didn’t know at the time, obviously. I heard about it later on. One of our friends—Gabby—saw him at a club with a girl. After we broke up, she told me.”

  “That sucks,” Matt said, looking at me. “Wait, Gabby, Barker’s girlfriend?”

  “Ahh, yeah, her. You’ve met her?”

  “Briefly, at one of our practices. Why didn’t she tell you sooner?” he asked. It was a question I, too, continued to ask myself.

  “I don’t know. I think she just didn’t want me to be upset. That’s what Meg says, at least.”

  “Meg knew too?”

  “Oh, no. She found out when I did. If she knew sooner, she probably would have punched Nick. Like, on the spot.”

  “Can I be honest? I’m kind of scared of her,” he joked, and it was cute.

  “You’re not the only one,” I laughed, taking a moment to take him in. “What about you?” I asked to get the subject firmly off of Nick. “Any girls back in Italy?”

  “Well, after cat girl, I gave up on dating for a while.”

  “Afraid that the next girl would talk to her dog or something?” I joked.

  “Or worse. Really, my self-esteem couldn’t handle being rejected by another animal.”

  I laughed, and added, “Perhaps next time it’ll be a plant.”

  “I don’t know if I could go on after that,” he said, putting his hand on his heart and feigning death. “New rule: no dating girls with pets.”

  “Or houseplants,” I added.

  “Or houseplants.” He smiled. “My brother is the complete opposite. He has a new girl in every place we end up. I’ve started referring to the girls by the place names—like Sofia is just Italy to me.”

  “Please don’t tell me he dates them all at the same time,” I said, wondering if his brother was like Jake, and if there was a bit of that in Matt, too.

  “Oh, no, he has this insurmountable amount of faith, though. Like, whenever we move, he assumes the relationship will continue and tries for weeks until they just, you know, break up because of distance. Then he finds someone else within days.”

  “At least he waits,” I said, contemplating this idea of long-distance relationships not working. Could they? I never really had to think about it. But I thought, maybe, with the right person—who didn’t rebound after a few seconds—it just might. “What do you think about that—long-distance relationships?” I asked, pushing him.

  “I don’t know,” he said, scratching his head. “I never really had to think about it.” Then, “You?”

  “Same,” I said.

  There was an awkward “I should say something, but can’t think of actual words” silence. So I tried. “So where’s your brother now?”

  “Houston. He’s two years older than me and in college. It’s weird him being there, and the rest of us here. Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

  “Nope, just me.” I looked up at him and we both kind of smiled.

  Jake and Meg came back at that very moment.

  “What’d you get?” Matt asked, nodding toward the brown paper bag Jake held.

  “Liquid courage,” he responded, hugging the bag.

  “No problems?” I asked Meg, eyeing her carefully. I hoped she understood my double meaning.

  “None at all,” she answered carefully.

  “So, next stop?” Jake asked.

  “Bowling’s definitely out?” I joked.

  “We need to go somewhere where we can actually drink,” Jake said.

  “Park?” Matt suggested.

  “Golf course?” Meg added.

  “Jefferson!” Jake shouted.

  “You want to go to school?” Meg asked.

  “Dude, no—El, the roof.”

  I knew exactly what he meant.

  “We could get in trouble,” I murmured, feeling my heart beat faster. It was crazy and dangerous and though I was okay going along with saying yes, this seemed like a bit much. I looked over at Matt and when our eyes met, I also saw that it could be fun, a new memory for him. One he’d hold on to more than a picture of anonymous people.

  “But you have to say yes,” Jake said, egging me on.

  “Can someone tell me what all of this is about?” Meg interrupted.

  “Apparently it’s really easy to jump on the school’s roof by balancing on the second-floor railing,” I explained. “Some guys were talking about it in my trig class; they did it as part of hazing for the football team, or something. I told Jake, because I thought it would be funny for them to play a gig up there.”

  “Funny, or awesome?” Jake said, grinning. “I say we take the booze, break in, and drink on the school’s roof,” Jake declared. “We can show Matt the school before he even starts.” Pause. “It’s been suggested, so we have to say yes.”

  Meg looked at me and I shrugged. I looked at Matt and he looked pumped. More than pumped; energized as though he’d never done anything illegal before. Other than drinking underage, I suppose. Finally, Meg let out a huge sigh.

  “We should have made rules about this ‘yes’ situation.”

  “Done, let’s meet there,” Jake decided.

  “Let’s park in the neighborhood next to it, so the cars don’t look suspicious or anything,” I said.

  I jumped into Meg’s car and watched as the guys pulled away.

  “This is going to be a long night,” Meg said, but despite her apparent lack of enthusiasm, there was a smile quietly making its way across her face. If she truly didn’t want to do this, she would have said so. She was not one to simply go along with plans she didn’t agree with, like the time we decided to go to the beach. The weather was perfect, the car was packed with snacks, magazines, and drinks, but mid-way there, after I got a call from Barker saying he and the guys might be going as well, she decided it was definitely not a beach day. So we turned around and went bowling instead, because, to her, bowling sounded much better than running into an ex-boyfriend. But tonight, instead of complaining or venting or declaring the night over, she started the car and grinned to herself. So I knew there was part of her that was excited.

  I looked out the window and thought back to laughing with Matt. I pushed worry out of my head because I had another chance to repeat that moment. And for that, I was excited, too.

  UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

  HarperCollins Publishers

  ..................................................................

  NOW

  10:15 P.M.

  The school is dark and desolate in silhouette against the night sky when Matt and I pull up. A few streetlamps illuminate parts of the campus, leaving long, drawn-out shadows on the lawn. But even without the lights and the moon highlighting our path, we would have known the way.

  It is a fairly new school, constructed just before I had started. The open campus gives way to the many buildings located around a central courtyard. I hadn’t returned since the last day of school, just a week prior. My locker in building eight is empty and not technically mine anymore. Every imprint I had on the school is gone. The next group of freshmen won’t know me; not that I was important or anything. There will be a new group sitting in the middle of the amphitheater before school starts, instead of our group. We started meeting at that spot during our freshman year and never stopped. Tonight kind of feels like a final good-bye.

  Matt parks in the neighborhood bordering the school. I don’t know anyone who lives there, but I do know they never call the cops on cars parked there. People do it all the time. Like breaking into
the school, hanging out on the roof is kind of a rite of passage.

  “Let’s go.” Matt beckons and hoists himself out of the car. I follow him, my heart thundering in my chest. Everything feels so familiar, I’m just not sure if it’s in a good way. But still, I follow him because I want to. I need to.

  Getting onto campus is easy—there’s no border or fence blocking the way. We can simply walk right up to the school as if it’s normal to be there at night. Even so, we stay in the shadows as we navigate the abandoned area. We walk over to building six, which is farthest from the road. Late-night walkers can’t see us over there.

  “It feels weird,” I whisper to Matt. “I’m a trespasser now.” Touching the cold, white stone building, I hear a loud bang. The noise echoes through the campus, repeating itself.

  We freeze. Hearts pounding. Hands sweating. I cover my mouth and look at Matt. His eyes are wide, searching the area. We’re both in the shadows, crouched down behind the building. But despite the darkness, we are still out in the open. My breaths grow deeper, heavier, and I’m sure whoever is out there can hear each and every one.

  Matt grabs my hand and I jump, not expecting it. He looks at me hard, shooting me courage through his eyes. His skin is warm and his touch strong. We stay quiet, trying to make ourselves as undetectable as possible.

  Laughter breaks the silence, but it’s not ours. It’s from the direction of the bang. An engine roars to life, followed by a few choice swear words. The engine again. It was just a car backfiring.

  “Jesus. What’s with tonight?” Matt whispers, joining me in my relief. He squeezes my hand and before I have the chance to squeeze back, he lets go.

  We get to the stairs easily after that. They’re large and concrete, standard school steps that can hold thousands of students pushing at each other between classes. We walk carefully to the top. There are no shadows here, so we are left exposed. My shoes squeak with each step.

  At the top, Matt pulls himself up over the metal railing first, steadying himself on the edge. He reaches up for the flat, thick surface of the roof’s ledge and presses down to lift his body. I stop myself from watching the muscles on his arms work. Within seconds, he’s swinging his legs up.