Sleepers

by Jacqueline Druga

  I asked, “What do we do?”

  “Well,” Beck answered. “Staying put is not an option. So we head north and hope to catch where it ends or go south. I say south to go around it only because the lakes are north. Which it obviously doesn’t extend to the lakes or this would be a river.”

  We were standing there discussing it when oddly Missy, out of the blue, walked up to me and asked, “Can I take the baby, Mera? Please?”

  I really did think it was odd timing, but then again, Missy was so deeply mourning that whether we went north or south didn’t matter to her. Truly feeling she needed to hold Phoenix, I handed him over.

  Immediately she stepped from me, pressing her lips to the child. She cried. I could see it. Everyone else was too engrossed in which was the best route to go.

  I couldn’t believe everyone found passion in discussing the matter. To me it was trivial. Pick a damn route.

  Go north because that was certain it ended somewhere before the lakes.

  Go south where it was less populated.

  Back and forth until Randy had enough. “South. Okay. I don’t want to get near Chicago. Let’s go south. I flipped a coin. It said south.”

  Alex clapped his hands together once. “South it is. Can you try to keep up?”

  Randy chuckled. “Keep up. Good thing I didn’t. I would be dead when you stopped suddenly. Besides you were going 90 miles an hour.”

  My first reaction was “What! No wonder we spun when you tried to stop.”

  Then Bill squealed out. “Ninety miles an hour! You were going ninety miles an hour.”

  “Yeah,” Alex answered. “What’s the problem?”

  Bill shook his head. “No problem. I’m impressed. I had no clue we were going that fast.”

  “I redid the suspension myself.” Alex nodded proudly.

  “Guys,” Beck whispered.

  I heard his call but all I was thinking about was that we were barreling down the highway at 90 miles an hour. What conversion van even goes that fast.

  “Pretty good job.” Bill said. “I didn’t feel a thing.”

  “Guys,” Beck called again.

  “She rides smooth,” Alex said then turned to Randy. “I’ll slow down a bit. But keep up.”

  “Yes, well keep in mind,” Randy retorted. “You may be in a souped-up conversion van; I am driving a Smart Car.”

  Alex laughed. Bill laughed.

  “Guys!” Beck called out stronger.

  When I looked he had moved closer to Missy. His call was a warning. She stood on the edge of the great divide holding Phoenix. My mouth dropped open.

  Alex lifted a hand to me with an assured nod. He spoke as if he saw nothing wrong. “So, uh, let’s get moving. Now’s the time to change vehicles if you want.” He nodded at me.

  Nervously, I inched closer to Missy. “Missy?” I called her. “Would you like to ride in the van and I’ll ride with Randy. Or maybe, you and I can drive the Smart Car.”

  Missy finally turned around. She stood too close to the edge for my comfort. I shifted my eyes to Beck who was nearing her slowly. She didn’t pay attention to his approach. But still she had made it a distance from the rest of us.

  She said, “Look at this little guy. So perfect. Why was he so lucky? How did he live?” He words were smooth, almost sedated.

  No one said anything.

  “Look at this world he was born into. It’s damned. He don’t stand a chance. Alex said he’s gonna die, ain’t that right, Alex?”

  “Actually.” Alex stepped forward toward her, but did so cautiously. “He’s doing well. I think he is gonna make it.”

  “Why?” Missy wheezed out. “Why? Why him? Why is he so lucky? I lost my babies. My babies are gone.”

  “No one has those answers,” I said. “If I had them I’d tell you. I lost my baby, too. My son was taken as well. But we need to move on.”

  Missy closed her eyes. “You don’t know. You still have Danny and your daughter that you gotta find. No, you didn’t lose it all.”

  Then Randy moved forward with, “But I did. I lost my babies. My wife. I lost it all. I know. Trust me, I know. Now give me your hand.” He held out his hand. “And let’s get back on the road.”

  Missy shook her head. “No. My journey ends here. This is a sign. No further. I can’t go no further.”

  “Yes,” Randy said with certainty. “Yes, you can. You must move on. Give me your hand. Come with me and we’ll talk in the car.”

  I wanted to scream. I was so angry and wanted to yell at her to just give me the baby and I didn’t give a damn what she did after that. I watched her footing. She was so close, too close to the edge of that hole, Phoenix in her arms. My entire being shuddered.

  Again, she shook her head and at that instant started to sob. “God took my babies. I can’t live without them. I can’t. I can’t.”

  I understood every single emotion she was feeling. I did. I was sure Beck and Randy did too.

  “There’s a better world,” Missy said. “It just ain’t across this hole and it ain’t on this earth.” And at the end of her words, she took a single step.

  That single step took her over the edge and into that hole.

  I charged forth with a long screaming, ‘no!”

  In fact everyone charged forth.

  Except Beck. He was right there. Waiting. Anticipating, I suppose. Because Beck was ready.

  The second she stepped forward, he dove for her, reaching out, snatching hold of her shirt. The weight of her falling body caused Beck to slam down hard chest to ground.

  That was all I saw at first. Beck on the ground, his arm extended downward.

  She jumped. She really jumped. And all I thought in my run over to the edge of that cliff was that if she released Phoenix. I swore at that moment, if she did, I was stomping on Beck’s arm until he released her.

  Those thoughts raced through my mind, so many in such a short span of time. I screamed my entire run. No. No. No.

  In the few seconds it took me to reach them, which seemed like an eternity, I watched Beck extend his body, peer over the edge, and then he extended his free arm down into that hole.

  He was struggling. That was evident. But when he raised his left arm victoriously, he did so with Phoenix gripped within his behemoth hand.

  “Take him!” Beck called with a grunt. He had snatched the baby from her grip.

  I wasn’t even taking a chance; no one was getting near that child. With eternal gratefulness, I dove forward and grabbed Phoenix. How she hadn’t released him in the jump, I’ll never know. She should have. By all accounts and reasoning, that baby should have been at the bottom of that hole.

  And I saw the magnitude of that hole as I took Phoenix. I was closer than I was before. It seemed never ending. A bottomless pit.

  Everyone raced over. They tried to help Beck. But he had her. He had her good.

  I just stood there.

  “Missy,” Beck said with struggling words. “You gotta help me out here. Use your feet.”

  I watched him try to pull her. She didn’t aid him in the least.

  His huge frame was flush to the ground, his right arm extended all the way down and the top portion of his chest bent unnaturally.

  Me. I just stood there. The only emotion was grateful that Phoenix wasn’t at the bottom of that pit.

  “Get rope!” Randy yelled.

  “I’ll get it.” Danny replied.

  Still, I just stood there. Watching.

  Alex dove for the ground. He wasn’t anywhere near as big as Beck so his grip didn’t extend as far. “Someone hurry with that rope!” He yelled.

  I could see it all: Beck holding her, Missy peering up, Beck struggling to hold onto her shirt, a garment that could rip at any second. It stretched and pulled and Missy moved further down. Calm, cool, she just looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

  “Missy, you have to help me out,” Beck told her. “This shirt is gonna let loose.”

  Alex was l
osing his cool, I could see it. “Where’s the rope!”

  When Bill yelled back that they couldn’t find it, Alex pounded his fist to the ground, stood up and ran.

  To the van I suppose.

  I don’t know. I stayed transfixed on what was going on between Missy and Beck.

  Maybe Beck wanted my help. Maybe he wanted me to convince her to try to save herself. But I couldn’t. Honestly, at that second, I teetered between not caring less and knowing exactly how she felt.

  Beck tried. His boots pushed the dirt as he struggled for a foothold. “Missy,” he beckoned her.

  “Let me go, Beck,” she pleaded. There was calm in her tear-laced plea. “I don’t wanna live without my babies. I don’t wanna live in his world. Please. Let me go. I wanna be with my babies. Just . . . let me go.”

  I was the only one on that ledge.

  Beck stared at her for a moment.

  “Let me go,” she said again.

  Then with a lowering of his head, Beck did.

  She didn’t scream. There was no sound. The hole was so deep there wasn’t even a sound of her landing.

  Just as Beck dropped completely and exasperated to the ground, I lowered my lips to Phoenix and clutched him.

  Alex, Danny, Bill and Randy all raced over.

  Nothing was said.

  I half expected Alex to cry out, scream, something. He looked over the edge, his eyes closed tight and face riddled with pain. He took a moment, then tossed the rope with frustration, leaned toward Beck and said, “You tried. You tried.” After that, he exhaled, lifted the rope again and walked off.

  Each of them, Randy, Danny, Bill, they all walked up to Beck and said the same thing. “You did good’ or ‘you tried.’

  They thought he dropped her or that she fell.

  They didn’t know.

  They would never know.

  Beck didn’t move.

  His chest was still flush to the ground, left hand resting on the back of his head that was half over that ledge, his right arm extended as if he were still holding Missy.

  He was still.

  “Let’s move.” Alex called out.

  Baby in my arms, I walked to Beck. I crouched by his mid-section, held out my hand, and softly called, “Hey.”

  A second or two later it registered to him and he lifted head a little, turned his body and faced me.

  “It’s okay,” I told him.

  “Is it?” he asked.

  “Yeah. Yeah it is.” Slowly I stood up. “Let’s go.” I showed him my hand.

  His eyes locked onto my fingers and he lifted himself from the ground and stood before me. I felt his unspoken request with the simple shift of his eyes to Phoenix, and I handed him the baby.

  Beck cradled the baby in his arms as if Phoenix were his life support. Still holding the child he turned, and with his hand on my back, both he and I walked to the van.

  It was time to move on.

  ****

  We switched up vehicles. I drove the Smart Car, which actually belonged to Missy. A crucifix dangled from the rearview mirror, a baby bottle was still on the floor. Beck and Phoenix rode with me. I thought it was best that Beck and I ride together in case he needed to talk. I was the only one who saw what happened at the Great Divide.

  He held Phoenix, the passenger seat pushed back as far as it would go. He wasn’t comfortable. He couldn’t be. The car was small. How Randy stood it for two hours was beyond me.

  Beck didn’t say anything, a few words here and there but nothing about Missy. I wondered what was going through his mind. I would have bet anything he was feeling guilty, and he didn’t need to. I wished with all my heart he would have opened up to me in the car. It just wasn’t a conversation I could start first.

  And Alex? How was he? I asked him before we took off and he responded with, ‘how do you think I should feel’. I let it go at that. I did ask him again when we stopped briefly. He was better about his answer and simply said he was hurt, felt bad, but knew it was a different world. One that he was glad Missy had left.

  That made sense.

  Those of us left behind were not the lucky ones.

  As for the drive, I kept up well. I attribute that to the fact that I put duct tape over the speedometer to stop me from seeing how fast we were going. Alex felt the need to radio us every so often to compliment my ability to keep up the speed.

  But that was about all the conversation in the first hour. At least until we found the end of the Great Divide. It wasn’t as far as we feared. We had backtracked a mile or so to an exit, took a back road south for about twenty five miles. We got on another major highway. No luck, then we tried it again. That time only ten miles south. There we picked up Interstate 70 at Crawfordsville and found the edge of the Divide.

  It ended there. The highway was partially destroyed but we were able to go slowly off road to catch it on the other side. From there it was a series of highways north until eventually we were back on track going west on the best route to get to Washington.

  It was started to get late, and as much as I wanted to keep going, I knew we had to stop. In the dark we wouldn’t be able to see what was ahead.

  I was especially convinced after driving through those numerous small towns and farm towns.

  Sleepers paced the road, moving about as if they aimlessly were trying to remember how to go about their day. Meandering up and down the street, bumping into the cars as if they knew they had to get in them, but just couldn’t recall how. When they saw us, though, moving vehicles or not, they raced as fast as they could. Angry, attacking, smacking into our cars. We just kept driving.

  I wondered as I guessed everyone did how long they would survive. How would they survive? I remember Beck saying he believed that they operated on pure basic animal instincts. Kill to live and survive. And as long as they had things to kill, they would survive.

  There was one moment that was actually pretty funny, and it gave comic relief needed on a road trip tainted with Missy’s passing.

  Driving through a small town, one set up for highway travelers, gas stations, food places and such, Sleepers were scattered about everywhere.

  Alex, with a serious tone, said over the CB, “Guess going through the drive-thru is out for now. Sorry people.”

  Sure enough, right after he said that I looked to my left. They mobbed around the McDonald’s, raiding it. Some walked around eating paper products, some with actual food items. It was almost as if they operated on cognitive behavior but weren’t consciously aware.

  It was strange but it told me a lot. They were still human and alive but in a different sense.

  ****

  Just before sundown, a pretty good distance into the state of Iowa, we found this little town about three miles off the interstate. The highway sign talked about a motel, Bucky’s Motor Lodge or some ridiculous name like that. Obviously, the Holiday Inn was out of the question, as were any of the lodging options right off the highway.

  Sleepers were swarming. As soon as they spotted us, they chased us even when we turned off the man road. They ran at top speed as if they could catch us, until they disappeared in the rearview mirror and were mere specks of maddening beings.

  “Do you think they’ll still run down the road for us?” I asked Beck.

  “Actually, I do.” He picked up the CB. “Hey Sans, I’m thinking staying the night on this road isn’t gonna be a good idea. The Sleepers are relentless.”

  “Yeah, my thoughts too. We’ll keep going,” Alex said.

  But luckily Bucky’s place wasn’t on that road. A small hand-painted sign pointed for us to make a left. Alex stopped and knocked over that sign, throwing it off to the side, stating it was just in case the Sleepers could still read.

  My gut told me, though, that we weren’t gonna be safe at Bucky’s or anywhere. Then again, my gut was wrong about a lot of things lately.

  At the top of the tree-lined hill was a the small flat parking lot to the motor lodge. Beck’s words echoe
d my thoughts when he said, “Something is weird here.”

  Alex stopped the van and I pulled behind him. It was one of those long single-floor motels, not kept up the best or modernized but not too run down. There wasn’t a car in the lot, yet the light was on in the office and a maid slowly wheeled a cart at the end of the motel.

  “Do you think this is so far removed that nothing happened here?” I asked Beck.

  “No.” Beck shook his head. “It can’t be.”

  Both he and I stepped from the car at the same time everyone got out of the van.

  Beck, still holding Phoenix, reached for his rifle with his free hand.

  Randy held out his arms. “Here, let me hold the little guy for a while.”

  Beck looked at me for permission and I nodded. My eyes kept going to the maid wheeling her cart.

  “Let’s head in, Beck,” Alex said. “Bill, you keep an eye on her.” He nodded at the maid as he handed Bill a weapon. “No need to aim for the legs, any shot will do.”

  Bill started to agree but stopped. “Aim for the legs?”

  “He's an asshole,” I said and started to follow Beck and Alex.

  “Whoa. Whoa.” Alex spun around to me. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m coming in case everything is cool and you need to pay,” I said.

  “You brought money with you at the end of the world?” He asked.

  “You never know.”

  With a slight grumble then a chuckle, Alex shrugged. “Just don’t throw up.”

  “I won’t. I’m good.” I followed them, looking one more time to the maid.

  We stepped inside the well-lit office and weren’t greeted with any raw or foul smells.

  “Looks like everything is normal,” I stated.

  Alex leaned his elbow on the counter and pointed to the rack of keys. “Think we’re still back in the fifties. Wonder if Norman Bates is here.” He laughed at his own humor and called out. “Hello?”

  Nothing.

  Then there was a scuffling sound. Alex lifted his head, looked at Beck and me then hit his hand once on the bell. “Hello?”

  A split second after the ding, a burly man with a beard appeared at the back office door and without warning he barreled at us with a screaming snarl.