Sleepers

by Jacqueline Druga

  My voice, like his was a whisper in the church. “The woman who gave birth. The male child.”

  Randy nodded. “Born to lead nations.”

  “That’s the one.”

  “What about it?”

  “He brought up that, what if Phoenix is that child.”

  Randy exhaled heavily, causing his lips to nearly flutter. “That’s a hell of a burden to place on an innocent baby. Nor agreeing or disagreeing, but there is something about this baby, you know.”

  “I agree. He also said that what if Phoenix was left for me to find? That there’s a reason I found him.”

  Randy stared at me for a moment. “Are you asking my opinion?”

  “Absolutely,” I said. “Do you think that Phoenix is an anomaly and we just happened across him or do you think there is a reason for Phoenix and we just don’t know what it is?”

  “I think he was left for us to find,” Randy simply stated. “I don’t think he’s the child in Revelation, the Second Coming, I don’t. Mainly because I don’t believe this is God’s end. I do believe that there is something we need to do with him, somewhere we need to take him. He has a purpose.”

  “Where?” I asked.

  Randy shook his head. “That ... I don’t know.”

  About that point in the conversation, I noticed Bill creeping up. He had this ‘hand in the cookie jar’ look about him.

  I knew that look. I just never expected to see it on the face of a thirty-some-year-old man. My kids would give that look when they thought I was tattling on them to Daniel.

  Bill’s worries had to have been with the computer antics he pulled the night before. I excused myself from Randy and scooted to Bill.

  “You want something,” I said.

  He nodded nervously, shifting his eyes.

  “What’s up? And if you’re worried that I told Randy . . .”

  “No.” Bill stopped me, took me by my arm and pulled me further aside. “I need to talk to you.”

  “About what?”

  Bill moistened his lips, looked around and whispered. “Something I learned about Randy.”

  At first I was wondering what he meant, then it dawned on me, Bill had been reading Randy’s computer. More than likely he was nosey and went into the journal.

  “Do I want to hear this?” I asked.

  “You need to hear this,” Bill said. “Actually everyone does. But they may think I’m nuts, and I don’t know how to go about it.”

  Immediately I dismissed that Randy was gay. That was the first thing that popped into my mind. Not that he acted gay, it just popped into my mind. What Bill discovered wasn’t good, or at least Bill didn’t think it was. It made him nervous.

  Was Randy a murderer? Child molester? Something awful?

  “Bill, if he’s a criminal . . .”

  “What?” Bill shook his head again. “No. Not a criminal. That computer, it’s not what you think . . .” He took a deep breath. “Mera, Randy is...”

  A short, quick, high pitched whistle silenced Bill.

  It was Beck. “Let’s go. We’re moving.” Then Beck made his way to us. “Mera?”

  I held up a finger to Beck and turned to Bill. “Do you wanna finish?”

  Bill shifted his eyes to Beck, then to me, and shook his head. “No. No, it can wait.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, it’s not bad. It can wait.” Bill turned and walked toward the doors.

  “Is he all right?” Beck asked.

  “Yeah, he just had something to tell me, that’s all.”

  “Must not be too important if it can wait. Ready?” Beck asked, then smiled “Let’s go get your daughter.”

  ****

  On the way out of the door, I passed Michael. I joked with him about lagging behind, to which he informed me he wasn’t coming with us. He didn’t want to leave the church, not yet. If we showed up then someone else could, and he didn’t want to take a chance on missing anyone.

  We were welcome back to stay or rest, whatever we chose.

  After we got Jessie.

  He said he’d pray for us.

  Although a huge part of me was still so angry, meeting Michael did open my eyes some. Not that I believed I carried the new Savior in my arms, but rather, Phoenix was an answer to a prayer I didn’t ask.

  God left him there for me to find for a reason.

  Maybe to show me all was not lost.

  I don’t know. I was still confused, but I do know, for the first time since Jeremy’s death, I said a short prayer.

  I just wanted to find my daughter.

  ****

  I suspected at first that Bill would sit next to me in the van, his imperative news regarding Randy swirling around his brain, waiting to get out. I know every time I thought about it, it drove me nuts not knowing. But I figured it had to be something embarrassing or Bill would have brought it up in the van. After all Randy and Alex were riding in the Smart Car. It was a perfect opportunity for Bill to spill his guts.

  He probably found porn on that contraption and was fearful that Randy was some sex addict.

  Something private. My paranoid mind started searching for things that it could be; it at least took my mind off of worrying about Jessie.

  But every few seconds my oldest child was forefront again in my mind. My baby girl, no matter how old she was, would always be my baby girl. So special to me. We didn’t have those teen moments where we fought as mother and daughter. We always got along. Daniel called her my mini-me stating she inspired to be just like me.

  I loved Jessie with every ounce of my heart and soul. She defined me as a person and woman and was the turning point in my life. She was never in trouble … ever. No matter what, she was always there for me.

  I felt so lost not knowing about her.

  My heart broke thinking of any trouble she could be in. Was she scared? I was.

  It would take three hours to get to Maple Valley. The school was a private school and I hoped not too hard to find. If it was a military refugee center, there would be signs. I hoped.

  Already having his days and nights mixed up, Phoenix slept. I nodded off a few times, but not much.

  Danny was quiet on the trip. At first I thought he was tired. But then I realized it was more. He kept his gaze out the window, occasionally looking at Phoenix, running his fingers over the baby’s head.

  One of those times, I noticed a slight tremble. I grabbed his hand and held it. “You all right?” I asked him.

  “Yeah.” Then he looked away.

  I knew my son. Short answer. Quick answer, no eye contact. “Talk to me.”

  He shook his head, still focused out the window. “Nothing to say. Just being quiet.”

  “Danny.” The whispering, pleading call of his name caused him to turn and face me. Then I looked at him, really looked at him. As a mother you stare at your infant, they grow into toddler and you watch them, but somewhere you just stop staring at your child. You look at her or him, you see them, but you don’t study them.

  Then again, sit there and study a teenager’s face while they sleep or read and you’re bound to be told ‘you’re weird’

  But I looked at Danny. Studied his face.

  My God, he was still so young.

  Again, I pursued, “Danny?”

  He sighed out heavily. “If I tell you, do you promise not to get mad?”

  “Why would I get mad?’

  “Promise.”

  “I promise.” And I was able to make that promise because I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what he would have done to make me angry.

  “I don’t have a good feeling, Mom.”

  Danny didn’t need to say about what or whom, I knew. He was speaking about Jessie. Instantaneously, upon the deliverance of his words my gut was struck with that hearty thumping feeling. The heavy twitch. I started to ask ‘why’, and I tried to speak but a heavy phlegm mixed with air caused me to choke. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Why do you say tha
t?”

  “You’re mad.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I’m not mad. I just want to know why you think that.”

  He tightened his lips, shaking his head slowly from left to right. “I don’t know. It’s a just a gut thing. Maybe because we haven’t heard from her. Maybe because things are getting bad. I don’t know.” He shrugged. “What do you think?”

  I took in a deep, shivering breath. My eyes shifted about; I sensed Beck and Bill were listening, how could they not? Perhaps they wanted to say something, add, but they didn’t. “I want to believe she’s fine.” I said. “That she’s with a group of people and is just out of touch. I want to believe that. But like you . . .” I rested my hand on Danny’s. “I just don’t know.”

  ****

  Danny’s gut instinct was right on and my fears seemed to come alive the moment we pulled into the lot of Maple Valley Christian Academy.

  Four military vehicles were abandoned, papers strown across the lot, and it looked as if it could have been the refugee camp we left behind in Ohio.

  Bodies of soldiers and civilians lay about, not many, but enough to show a struggle had ensued.

  The doors to the gymnasium were open and I gasped the moment I visually took it all in.

  No movement, no people, no Sleepers. It was quiet.

  I whimpered out an ‘Oh my God,’ clasping Phoenix tighter to me.

  Beck stopped the van and looked over his shoulder. “We’ll go inside and check it out. Stay here.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I have to go.”

  “Mera,” he said softly. “It may not be a good idea.”

  “I have to go,” I repeated calmly. “This is my daughter.”

  A simple nod told me Beck understood.

  Randy stayed behind with Phoenix and Bill kept a watch outside. I accompanied Beck and Alex into the gymnasium. And for obvious reasons Danny came as well.

  There was no set plan as to what we would do once inside; we really didn’t know what to expect. Beck and Alex had their weapons ready.

  Stepping inside was like opening a refrigerator with spoiled food. A thick, foul rotted stench permeated the entire place. It made me sick to my stomach more ways than one.

  The beam of Beck’s flashlight cut through the large dark room. Streaks of lights illuminated the chaos that had occurred in that aid station.

  At first I saw cots, some overturned, some standing. Belongings of the refugees were scattered about, clothes, papers, food.

  Then I saw the blood. Some of it glistened as Beck’s flashlight hit it.

  Fresh. Or at least within a few hours.

  There was no movement at all in the gym, none. As we stepped hesitantly forward I saw the first body, then I saw a leg, an arm, then my stomach churned.

  The second Alex looked at me, I knew what he was trying to convey with his glance. Keep it in control, don’t get sick.

  It was a tough struggle, my mouth filled with saliva with each gag I fought to keep in control. I turned my head away from the scene to try to keep it together. Once I felt my stomach settle and my glands relax, I lifted my head.

  That’s when I saw it. My eyes adjusted to the dark.

  The fire extinguisher in the far left corner of the room.

  Jessie was set up there. Right below it. She said she was and if she had to leave she would leave a note.

  She promised.

  Jessie had never broken a promise to me. With renewed strength and determination, I raced across the gym never seeing another thing except that extinguisher. My feet hit into things, I almost lost my footing, but I didn’t look to see what I touched or nearly tripped over. The extinguisher was a good fifty feet away; just as I was closing in, I heard my son call out.

  “Mom, stop.”

  I did.

  Cold and fast.

  Just something in the way he yelled stirred a cramp in my stomach and cause my feet to immediately cease moving. My body swayed forward from the momentum.

  What did he see that I didn’t, was what crossed my mind. Slowly I started to look back to him when Danny approached me.

  “Why did I stop/” I asked.

  “She’s not there. No one is there.”

  “But, Danny, she said she would leave a note if she left. Obviously she left.”

  Danny’s head lowered. “Mom.”

  Beck laid a hand on my shoulder. “How about I go over and look in that corner for a note.”

  “Beck?” I questioned.

  Then Alex said, “Danny, take your mom outside, we’ll look in here.”

  Danny nodded and reached for me.

  I swung out, swatting him away. What did they see that I didn’t? Then I realized it was dark. Only Beck’s flashlight really brightened anything to a visible state. Perhaps when I had turned my head to stop myself from vomiting, they saw what I was missing.

  Quickly, I grabbed the flashlight from Beck’s hand and aimed it in the direction of the corner.

  It felt as if someone grabbed my insides and twisted them to the point all the air squeezed from me.

  The entire wall around the extinguisher was splattered with so much blood it looked like abstract art. An overturned cot was next to one covered with blood. Another cot by that wall contained a leg. But far more disturbing than seeing the lone limb was something I recognized.

  On top of the cot, directly beneath the extinguisher was a teddy bear. I knew that bear because I gave it to Jessie when she was six. She treasured it. Even when she grew too old to cuddle with that bear at night, it perched on her dresser always. But there it was, on its side, half torn apart and obviously splattered with something I could only assume was blood.

  My mind heard her voice that day she left for college. “I’m not leaving him behind, Mom.”

  “Jessie, you don’t need to take him,” I said.

  “I do, Mom. When I miss you guys, I have him. He’s home. He’s …you.”

  I exhaled heavily and blinked. My focus grew blurry from the welling tears. Whispering out a sad and shocked ‘Mr. Biggles’, I ached out a sob, dropped the flashlight and ran out.

  The fresh air was like the opening of an emotional valve for me. The second I stepped out, I broke down and cried. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want Randy or Bill to touch me, talk to me, or look at me. I leaned forward against the front of the van, waving out my hand to keep them away. I was there for only a few moments, and lifted my head when I heard Randy call out. “Beck?”

  There was too much question in his voice.

  I looked.

  Beck emerged with Danny and Alex and then I saw Beck had the bear. I went from sadness to rage in a split second.

  “What the hell, Beck?” I raced to him, blasting, “Why would you bring that, huh? Why? Do you think I need to see that?”

  “Mera.” Beck said firm.

  “Why didn’t you leave that in there?”

  “Because!” he blasted, then lowered his voice. “Because she may want it.” He handed me a small sheet of paper. “She’s not in there, Mera. She left.”

  The note was crumbled and there were smudges of dried blood on the corners. The note didn’t say much, but it said enough to tell us where she went.

  ‘Mom. John the Baptist Church. Love you.’

  After reading it, I peered up to Beck.

  Beck nodded. “Let’s go find her.”

  ****

  As soon as we pulled close to Saint John the Baptist church, I knew something had occurred there, that had Jessie been there, she was long gone, everyone was.

  It was nowhere near as violent a scene as the school gym. No bodies out front. Beck commented that it looked like people left in a hurry, because items were strewn across the front walk and lawn of the church. Almost as if they were dropped as they ran to get away.

  Actually the only indication of violence was the message sign out front. The front glass was shattered on the board that boasted the message:

  We that

  praise
on

  are saved!

  It looked as if it were smashed with a baseball bat. The black letters against the white backdrop were crooked and some even had fallen from their spacing.

  The only way to know for sure was to go inside and check it out.

  Like the gymnasium, maybe there was word of where they went.

  We all stepped from the van.

  I was instructed to wait outside, which irked me, but I understood.

  The church was a simple Catholic church. Not like what I was used to seeing out east. Red brick, not monstrous. The entrance was a mere set of double wooden doors each with a small pane of stained glass above the handles.

  They were open.

  Bill stated he wanted to stick by me, if that was alright with Danny. It was, so Beck, Alex and Danny went inside while Randy, Bill and myself waited at the base of the stairs just before the entrance.

  Phoenix cooed and moved. I cuddled him as I kept my eyes focused on the doors of the church.

  Bill cleared his throat. “So, uh, Randy. Mind if I ask you something?”

  I wasn’t really thinking much about it then it dawned on me. I wondered if Bill was bringing up what he discovered on Randy’s computer.

  “Sure,” Randy answered. “What’s up?”

  “Well, the other night . . .”

  Bill was about to ask, when Beck’s voice carried out of the church. “Come on in. it’s clear.”

  I turned around; Randy was waiting, apparently for Bill to finish.

  “I’ll ask later,” Bill said and walked to the church doors.

  I followed until I noticed Randy lagged behind. “Are you coming?” I asked.

  “No,” Randy replied. “Someone has to keep watch out here. You go on.”

  I nodded and knew it was useless to go inside. Why did Beck even call for us?

  I stepped in; there was just a small foyer that led into the church. It didn’t have the charm that Michael’s church had; it seemed plain, too plain.

  “Stay by the door,” Beck said. “Just in case.” He was up by the altar.