by Kelsie Rae
The gorgeous lady across from me looks hesitant, surprised, distrusting, and hopeful, all at the same time. I have just placed my heart on the table and am now anxiously waiting to see if she picks it up and carefully nurtures it. Or grabs the nearest utensil and stabs the ever-loving shite out of the life-giving organ.
I’ve never shied away from fighting for what I want, and after the last few weeks, I’ve realized that I want Quin. Desperately.
I wait for her to say something. Anything. My Kitten remains quiet, playing with a straw wrapper. Her dainty little fingers roll the white crinkly paper into a curly q before straightening it out, only to repeat the process all over again. Her mesmerizing moss-colored eyes peek up at me every few seconds. The sight gives me hope.
I get an idea. One that is either brilliant... or absolutely insane.
Pulling out my phone, I open the Flinch app and type out a message.
BeatlesBoy_41: Hi, Kitten. Sorry to bother you. I’m sure you’re rather busy, but could we chat for a moment?
I hit send before my gaze returns to the fiery redhead in front of me. Her phone vibrates on the tabletop near her empty glass. Her brows furrow as she grabs it, reading the notification on her screen.
Her face lights up with a shy smile, and I know I’ve made the right move.
Quickly, she types in her password before replying to my message.
My eyes bounce between her beautiful face and my screen, anxiously waiting for her response.
Ding.
Quik_Q182: Sure. I’m not busy.
I snort at her cheeky reply. Sassy little Kitten.
Glancing up at Quin, I find her green eyes glued to my face, assessing me as I read her message. A grin is firmly planted on her gorgeous face, and I have the distinct urge to kiss it off of her. By some miracle, I restrain myself.
Dramatically, I roll my eyes and smirk at her before returning my attention to our conversation.
BeatlesBoy_41: LMAO Brilliant. To answer your question from earlier, you can tell when a bloke is interested in you when: 1. He bluntly tells you. 2. He can’t stop thinking about you. 3. He wants to be with you. 4. He can’t take his eyes off you. 5. He apologizes for his mistakes, promising honesty from this moment on.
My fingers fly over the lit-up screen, pressing send without rereading the message.
My focus is glued on Quin’s face as I watch her eyes dart across her screen over and over again. She reads my message a dozen times while chewing on the inside of her cheek. She’s absorbing all the information I just threw at her while debating what her next move should be. You see, gamers look at life through a different lens. We’re problem solvers. We are always looking at every angle, trying to find the best move that brings us closer to a particular outcome. As I watch Quin’s face, I can see her working the problem in her pretty little head. Looking for different angles, for weak spots, for loopholes.
Suddenly, I wish I had reread my message before sending it so I could confirm that I didn’t give her any. Loopholes, that is. Unfortunately, the lady in front of me still captures my full attention, and I couldn’t look away from her if my life depended on it.
Instead, I wait for her to come to a conclusion, praying she’s swayed in my favor.
Minutes go by slowly, like an icicle melting after a winter storm.
Slowly, the sun begins to peek from behind the clouds, bringing warmth with it.
Quin’s face softens like she’s finally found her conclusion. Her fingers begin to type with precise movements, never once hitting the delete button. She’s so sure of herself as she writes her response that I’m terrified of what it will say.
Quik_Q182: I guess we’ll see now, won’t we?
My gaze shoots up to Quin’s slender form as she glides out from beneath the table. Her hands are in the front of her hoodie, and her face has lost its blotchiness from earlier this afternoon, the color returning to her cheeks. She smiles shyly as I try to make sense of her message.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I beg for clarification.
She smiles shyly. “I guess it means that we’ll have to wait and see if he’s interested in me or not.”
Quin shrugs one shoulder and turns to the exit, leaving me at the table to pay for the tab with nothing but a confused expression painted on my face.
“I guess we will,” I murmur to her retreating form, knowing she can’t hear me but voicing it, nonetheless.
I feel like my little Kitten just challenged me to a game of cat and mouse.
She has no idea who she’s dealing with.
Chapter 10
Quincy
The past week has been full of roses, chocolates, and corny poems through text messages. I’ve had a perma-smile since the moment I walked out of that bar on the Strip. It’s the most I’ve grinned since I was a little girl, and the weight of the world wasn’t resting on my shoulders.
Am I still mad at him for lying to me? A little. His deception was sneaky and rude. But it was also impulsive and not malicious. He didn’t do it to hurt me. He just wanted to get to know me. And if anyone knows how difficult it is to get past my barriers, it’s me. It also helped that his apology was sincere and genuine. I believe he’s truly sorry and won’t let it happen again.
But am I making him grovel? Why, yes! Yes, I am.
Jude’s a thoughtful little bugger, that’s for sure. I haven’t responded to his messages or mentioned the gifts during practices, but I’ve appreciated his efforts nonetheless, and they haven’t gone unnoticed. No one, and I do mean no one, has given me this much attention since my dad began his descent into the shell of a man he is today.
It almost makes me feel uncomfortable. Until I remember that the attention isn’t negative. It’s just foreign to an only child who’s practically an orphan.
I swallow the lump in my throat as soon as the thought enters my head. The taste is bitter, and I hate even thinking it. I love my dad. I just miss him. I miss the moments we shared, the banter we participated in, the politics we discussed. I laugh at that last one, remembering we never fully saw eye to eye on politics, but the moments were definitely memorable.
I’m heading to another team meeting, my car chugging down the freeway in the far right lane. I’m so screwed in the inevitable future when this bad boy finally decides to kick the bucket. I can’t afford a new car. Maybe if I win the championship, since they give a big fat bonus. But that’s a big if.
Plus, with how dad’s been acting lately… he’s a ticking time bomb. His illness is progressing quickly, and I know Carrie is going to suggest we send him to a home soon. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it. I’m dreading that day more than anything else in the world. Not only for financial reasons, but I know the guilt will eat me alive. I can’t imagine living in our tiny home without him.
Gah. I need to think of something different, or I’ll wind up in tears before I pull in to the casino. And no one wants to play with an emotional girl. Again. It’s not pretty.
Instead, I focus on the message I received ten minutes ago from Jude. He asked me if I’d like to join him for dinner after practice. My first real date. Pathetic, I know, but I’m still stoked. I wish he would’ve texted me earlier, though. Then I might’ve done something with my hair instead of slipping on my black beanie before heading to practice.
Carrie got to my house a little later than usual which means I’m going to be a little late to practice, too. Most teams hold practice online only, not needing to physically meet up in order to play. You know, because we have the internet and everything.
Team AFK is different. They believe in the importance of knowing a team member in and out of the game. It’s been a bit of a pain, considering the two-hour drive, but I’ve seen the benefits as well. We’re beginning to trust each other a little easier instead of questioning everything. There’s only one problem. I’m the only rookie on this team, so I have a lot of catching up to do. Today, we’ll be doing another activity that doesn’t involve a co
mputer, although I’m clueless about what the actual activity will be. I was told to dress in comfortable clothing. That’s it.
Thankfully, comfy clothes isn’t anything out of the ordinary for me.
As soon as I pull into the parking lot, I’m given a glimpse of the guys already waiting at the entrance. I guess that’s what happens when you’re twenty minutes late.
Oops.
Instead of finding a parking spot, I drive straight to the valet driveway near the entrance. Rolling down my window, I call out to them. “Hey ladies! Looking for a ride?”
I’m not sure where my bravado comes from, and their expressions are a mixture of awe and shock from my innocent teasing.
I don’t tease. Not really, anyway. But these guys are slowly getting under my skin, one team practice at a time.
Jude laughs good-naturedly at my joke. The sound immediately causes butterflies to erupt in my lower stomach, and I squirm in my seat, trying to settle the little beasts. He grabs the rusty handle and lets himself into my car while I subtly try to soak in the masculine scent that clings to his olive skin.
Damn, he smells good. Like fresh rain and the forest, with a hint of spice. It’s incredible, and I have to stop myself from leaning closer to him and sniffing his neck.
Down girl.
“Why hello, Kitten! We’ve been waiting for your arrival.” He smiles affectionately as he’s taking a seat on the passenger side. Jude doesn’t look disgusted when climbing into my old beater like I would expect. Instead, he looks right at home. Which is beyond ridiculous when I think about it. The guy is a god among men and should stick out like a sore thumb in my pathetic excuse for a vehicle.
I catch myself checking him out, taking in his lean torso covered in tight muscles. He’s wearing a simple white V-neck today with Rockstar jeans. The only thing missing is his signature glasses, and I miss them immediately.
“Where are the glasses?” I wonder, trying to keep the disappointment from seeping into my voice.
He chuckles at my intrusiveness. “Our activity doesn’t allow glasses, unfortunately. But I promise they’ll be back as soon as we finish. Contacts and I are not friends.” He winks.
His reassurance brings a smile to my face. I’ve never been good with change. Even tiny modifications can throw me for a loop.
I’m about to pull away from the curb when my back door opens. Ronny and Jonah hop in, making themselves at home with the plethora of candy and fast food wrappers.
My car may or may not be filled with clutter, but I swear it’s clean underneath it all!
I think.
“Sorry about the mess, guys,” I mumble under my breath before turning my blinker on and heading down the road. Thankfully, I’m able to keep my embarrassment in check this time, my cheeks staying their normal pasty white instead of flaming red.
It’s the little things.
“No worries, Q. You should see mine,” Ronny answers offhandedly, whipping out a Snickers bar before taking a big bite. I assume that’s what he’s eating anyway. I can’t exactly read the wrapper from my rearview mirror.
“Yeah, Ronny’s is disgusting. I wouldn’t be surprised if he finds a dead rat in it the next time he cleans it,” Jonah answers, shivering in revulsion.
My face scrunches at his description. Gross.
“So, where are we headed?” I ask, returning my focus to the road in front of me.
“We’re going to the Stratosphere, Kitten. Do you need me to give you directions?” Jude answers. His warm chocolate eyes distract me from the road.
I swerve slightly, twisting the steering wheel left and causing Jonah’s massive body to land on top of Ronny.
They both mutter curses while Jude tries to cover his laughter at their compromising position.
“Two eyes on the road, babe. We’d like to get there in one piece, if that’s alright with you,” he teases playfully before leading me to our destination.
The Stratosphere is an iconic hotel in Vegas. It’s ridiculously tall and skinny, with a large disc shape on the upper floors that reminds me of a spaceship. There’s a pointy needle on top, and it reaches high up into the sky. I’ve never been here before, but I’ve spent quite a few evenings stuck in traffic on the freeway, gazing at the unique structure.
When we arrive, Jude leads me into the building, his hand possessively resting on my lower back. I’m currently in a hoodie and yoga pants, but his touch still seems to sear me through the layers. I should probably shrug off his intimate grasp, but I can’t seem to find a solid reason to do so.
Jett, our team manager, is here as well, and I’m surprised to see him. The only management I’ve seen on a regular basis is Jude, and I have a feeling he has ulterior motives.
Ever since his confession, it’s like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He’s not holding back, and he’s made his intentions clear. He wants me.
Jude leads me over to Jett, who is currently standing in a maroon beanie, tan cardigan, and tight, ripped jeans. If I could Google an image of hipster, he’d pop up in this exact outfit.
“Hey guys! Glad you could finally make it. Marcus just texted. He and Trev will be here in a few. Why don’t you take the elevator up to the top and get your harnesses taken care of while I wait for them down here?” My eyes practically bug out of my head as my brain tries to process what Jett may or may not be suggesting.
“I’m sorry, what was that?” I turn to Jude before scanning his mischievous face for any kind of clarification he’s willing to throw my way.
Instead, the jackass ignores me completely while guiding me through the inside of the Stratosphere. The casino is practically a maze with slot machines and blackjack tables scattered throughout the large room. My body is on autopilot as my brain tries to piece together Jett’s cryptic statement with my surroundings.
Why in the world would I need a harness?
We make our way to a pair of escalators when I spot a giant poster confirming my greatest fear.
“No. No no no no,” I ramble, digging my heels into the red swirling carpet and effectively stopping our trek.
Shaking my head back and forth, my eyes dart to Jude, silently pleading with him. Golf was one thing. Let’s be honest, it’s swinging a club through the air while trying to hit a ball. If I fail at it, what’s the worst that can happen? Jumping off a building, on the other hand, is an entirely different story.
Don’t make me do this.
I can’t do this.
I think I’m going to be sick.
Jude immediately steps forward and reaches for me. His face is painted in absolute concern. For me. He places his hands on either side of my head and holds me in place while grabbing my full attention.
“Kitten, you can do this.”
I shake my head, refusing his words before they even leave his luscious lips.
Jude smiles affectionately.
Apparently he finds your terror adorable, my inner girl digs at me.
His eyes tenderly scan my face as they take in my nervous features, making me feel like the little kitten he’s so adamantly named me after.
“You can do this, Quin. I have faith in you.” My body trembles like a leaf in the wind. “You are destined for great things, but you’re too terrified to do any of them.” His eyes are kind and sincere, even when his words are harsh and painful to hear.
“I really can’t,” I whisper stubbornly. My argument is weak, but I go down swinging anyway.
“Who told you that?” he challenges. His voice is firm. Sharp. The sound immediately causes tingles to race down my spine, and I’m surprised by my physical response.
I shrug one shoulder before eyeing the tan skin covering his toned chest that’s peeking out from beneath his white V-neck.
“You told yourself that, Kitten. And I’ll be damned if I let you believe it.” His calloused hands tilt my head up slightly, causing me to focus on his mesmerizing eyes instead of the muscles I was drooling over a second ago. “You can do anything
you put your mind to, Babe. The only person doubting your abilities is the tiny voice inside your head, and I need you to be the stronger person and tell it to bug off.” His smile is contagious as he finishes speaking, and my lips mimic his own, tilting up into a full-blown grin.
“Bug off?” I ask, my brows quirked.
“Yes. Tell that little voice to bug off. We’ve got more important things to do than doubt ourselves, now don’t we, Kitten?” His tone is a perfect mixture of sincerity and humor. I kind of feel like he’s handling me with kid gloves right now, but I’m okay with it. It’s exactly what I need.
My gaze continues to hold his as I let Jude’s comments marinate for a minute. I need to stop being so scared to step outside of my precious little comfort zone. And in order to do that, I need to tell the little voice inside my head to shut the heck up.
I am strong. I am beautiful. I am smart, powerful, compassionate. And so much more.
I know that jumping off an insanely tall building, or riding a crazy rollercoaster, isn’t going to change who I am or make me a better person. But I also understand what Jude’s saying. I’ve been in a rut since my dad got sick, and I haven’t been making any effort to get out of it. I’ve simply been going through the motions of my life instead of truly living, and that incessant voice inside my head has been nothing but a hindrance.
I need to stop telling myself that I can’t do something. Jude’s right. I’m my own worst critic.
Swallowing thickly, my heart is already racing before the word slips from my mouth. “Okay.”
Jude’s soft smile widens. “Okay, Kitten? You’ll do this with me?” His chin is tilted down, bringing our faces less than an inch from each other. I have a perfect view of his swirling brown eyes that remind me of a hot cup of cocoa on cold winter mornings. There’s even a hint of gold around the irises, melting into the earthy color beautifully. It only confirms my suspicion that the guy in front of me doesn’t know what to do with a storm, but I’m okay with that. I’ve had enough bitter cold to last me a lifetime. He’s all about rainbows and butterflies, though he’d kill me if I voiced my theory to him. I think I need a little more sweet warmth in my life… a little more Jude.