by Kelsie Rae
Jude leans closer, my face still firmly held between his rough palms. He rubs his nose gently against mine, bringing me back from my inner thoughts before resting his forehead on my own.
He breathes in deeply through his nose then squeezes his eyes shut tightly. That same soft smile that is pure Jude graces his lips. I take advantage of our close proximity and memorize every freckle, every scar, every little stubbled whisker on his ridiculously handsome face.
I’ve never been this close to a guy before in my entire life, and my nerves are frazzled beyond repair. But I know without a doubt in my mind that if Jude decided to kiss me right now, I’d grab on with both hands and refuse to let go.
Unfortunately, we aren’t on the same page because as soon as the thought enters my mind, Jude pulls away. He drops his hands to his sides before grasping my dainty fingers and leading me to the escalator.
“Here goes nothing,” I mumble under my breath, eyeing the stairs warily.
“Here goes nothing, Kitten.” Jude winks before lifting my hand with his own and kissing the back tenderly.
Always a gentleman.
Chapter 11
Jude
I’m absolutely shocked that Quin is going to jump off a building with me. Excited beyond belief, yes. But shocked, nonetheless.
The blokes and I had placed bets on whether she’d go through with it or not, and I’m happy to say I won. My first pint tonight is free, courtesy of Jonah and Ronny.
I smirk at them knowingly when they make an appearance on the upper floor with Marcus and Trevon following behind.
We’ve just finished getting our harnesses strapped on, and Quincy’s squeezing my hand like it’s her only lifeline. Her knuckles are white, and her breathing is shallow, but she hasn’t backed out yet. I couldn’t be more proud of her.
Quin and I wait by the lift for the rest of the team to get fitted. I had suggested we visit the loo, but she simply rolled her eyes, informing me that she’s not a child. I, on the other hand, took full advantage and left her to fend for herself while I took a piss.
I am washing my hands under the faucet in the tepid water when Marcus joins me.
“Hey, man. I can’t believe you convinced Q to do this with us!”
“Me, either,” I confess while scrubbing my palms together until the soap turns foamy.
“Can I ask you something?” Marcus requests. He’s eyeing me through the mirror as he suds up his hands.
“Go for it.”
“You like her, right?” He stares at me pointedly.
I nod before tilting my head to the side slightly. He’s never appeared to have feelings for Quin, but maybe I’ve read him wrong in the past? I wait for him to continue while reining in my anger. I have no qualms about fighting for what I want.
“What happens when the championships are over, man? Q doesn’t seem like someone to let others in easily.”
Defensively, I respond with a question of my own. “And you know her so well?”
He shrugs his broad shoulders. “Not as well as I’d like to. I’ve been on the circuit for a while, and she’s never opened up to anybody. She doesn’t have friends, she doesn’t hang out with people, she doesn’t trust anyone. And I mean anyone.” He emphasizes the last word while drying his hands on a paper towel.
“May I ask why you care so much?” I try to hide the bite in my tone, but it seeps into my words, regardless.
“I have three little sisters at home, Jude. I don’t want to see her get hurt.”
I nod my head in understanding, recognizing his intent. “I acknowledge your concern. And while I can’t guarantee a happily ever after, my feelings for Quin are genuine. I see the same potential you do. I honestly just want her to be happy, and I want to help her understand that there’s more to this world than a silly video game. Even if it’s one I love playing,” I tack on at the end.
My confessions must do the trick because Marcus’ rigid posture seems to drain out of him, leaving his usual easygoing self. He nods at my comments. An unspoken agreement is being made in the least likely of places: the men’s restroom.
“Good.” He slaps me on the back, good-naturedly. “Then let’s go jump off a building.”
I smile in return before grasping the loo handle and bowing gracefully. “After you.”
Quincy is shaking like a leaf beside me, her entire body trembling furiously.
I wrap my arms around her in hopes of calming her frazzled nerves. She melts into my chest as her fingers grip my T-shirt tightly.
Her breathing is shallow, and I’m afraid she might faint before she even has the chance to jump off the ledge. Soothingly, I rub my arms up and down her back while being careful of the harness straps covering her torso.
“Kitten, you can do this. Everything’s going to be just fine.” I can’t keep the smile from my voice, enjoying the brief moment where I can hold her like she’s my own. I know it won’t last nearly as long as I’d prefer.
“I should’ve peed beforehand… I’m freaking out, Jude,” she mumbles into my shirt. The confession causes a huff of laughter to escape my chest.
“You’re going to do lovely, Quin. It’s almost our turn.” I nod my head in the direction of the jumping platform, Ronny’s lanky body having just disappeared from view. Everyone else has jumped with the exception of Quincy and me.
“Would you like to go first? Or would you prefer I wait for you at the bottom?” I ask before pulling away from her slightly so I can get a better glimpse of her gorgeous green eyes.
She’s petrified but beautiful, nonetheless.
I would kiss her right now on her plump lips if it weren’t for the fear radiating off her in waves.
Instead, I patiently wait for her decision.
I can practically see her weighing the pros and cons in her brilliant little head. After a few long moments, she finally chooses. “You go first,” she rushes before pushing me toward the platform.
“Are you certain?” I confirm, afraid she’ll back out if I’m not here to encourage her.
“Positive.”
I look at her pointedly, silently portraying my reservations about going before her.
She rolls her eyes, giving me a glimpse of the feisty girl she often keeps hidden beneath her protective armor.
“Yes, I’m sure. I promise I won’t chicken out. I just want you to be there at the bottom. I need to know that I’m jumping toward something, not away from it.” The last of her statement floats away on the gentle breeze, but not before my ears perk up at her admission. My heart skips a beat, and I know without a doubt that I’d do anything for this beautiful lady in front of me. She only needs to ask.
Taking a proverbial leap before my literal one, I lean forward and place a gentle kiss on her forehead. My lips linger for a brief moment, though not nearly as long as I’d like them to.
Pulling away, I stare into her mesmerizing eyes once more, my mind capturing this moment, knowing I’ll never forget it.
“Don’t linger. I’ll see you on the pavement.”
With that, I’m led to the edge of the platform where the bungee cord is strapped to my harness, and I am free falling before I can say, “Cheerio.”
I look over my shoulder as I fall to see the most beautiful girl I’ve ever set eyes on slowly disappearing from view. I’m suddenly very grateful to have jumped first, knowing that I’ll be the one to catch her if she ever needs me to.
Chapter 12
Quincy
Holy crap.
Holy crap.
Holy crap.
Those two words run on a constant loop through my frazzled brain. I think I’m going to puke. I swallow back the acidic flavor flooding my mouth as I watch Jude disappear over the ledge.
My heart feels like it’s about to beat out of my chest, my bladder feels like it’s about to burst, and my hands are shaking so hard I’m afraid I’m seizing.
I’m bouncing up and down on my toes, fighting the urge to pee my pants, run back to the eleva
tor, or curl into a ball and pretend I’m not here.
Take your pick.
Instead, the employee handling the bungee cords motions over his shoulder for me to step forward. My feet seem to move on their own, and I’m pretty sure the only reason they do is because I made a certain promise to a certain Brit, who just jumped off a building and is waiting for me to follow.
And I’m stupid enough to do it.
I chew on the inside of my cheek, feeling like a complete basket case when they strap the bungee to my harness and follow the safety procedures. I refuse to look at the ground. There’s no way I’ll have the guts to leap if I do. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly as my face scrunches up like an old tissue.
The employee counts to three before nudging my back gently, his touch encouraging me to jump off the platform.
My heart rate kicks up another notch, and my palms are sweaty before I take a deep breath in through my nose... and step off the ledge.
Holy shit!
I’m free-falling.
The adrenaline pumps through my veins faster than I can even comprehend, the wind rushing over my face.
Finally, I gain the courage to open my eyes as tears stream into my hairline.
Time seems to stop as I’m suspended in the air. I’m not falling anymore... I’m flying!
The elation I feel is out of this world. I’ve never felt more free in my entire life. I don’t want to say it’s a come-to-Jesus moment, but it pretty much is. I’m having a full-blown revelation as I fly through the air.
This is living.
I’m grinning from ear to ear, not caring that I have slobber stringing from my mouth, or that I look like a complete idiot as I spread my arms in the sky while pretending they’re wings.
This is what I’ve been missing.
Jude’s been trying to tell me for weeks that I need to live a little. That I need to step out of my comfort zone. That I need to embrace the unknown. And while I’m practically plummeting to my death, I feel nothing but elation. He’s right. I’ve been living in a bubble, and I needed someone to pop it for me.
How could I let myself go through life without these profound moments? I’d be insane to let this experience pass me by. Yet... I almost did. As soon as these thoughts enter my head, I can’t help but question every decision I’ve ever made.
What else have I missed? What else will I miss if I don’t get my crap together and stop being afraid of every damn thing in my life?
This epiphany hits me like a rock as soon as my feet touch the ground, and I’m so overcome by a mixture of conflicting emotions that I nearly burst into tears from both elation and confusion. As soon as the employee on the ground unhooks the bungee cord, I scan the area for the only person I need.
I’ve never felt such desperation before, and when I glimpse his familiar face, I run full-speed in Jude’s direction. The adrenaline is still in full effect and takes us both by surprise when I crash into him. I wrap my arms around his neck, burrowing my face into the exposed skin peeking from beneath his collar. Then I breathe deeply, inhaling his familiar scent while letting his presence center me. Letting it tether me to the ground so I don’t float away.
He catches me easily, like I weigh nothing more than a feather. His strong arms wrap around my lower back before picking me up and spinning me around excitedly. His enthusiasm only feeds my own.
“You did it, Kitten! I’m so proud of you!” His warm laughter soothes my fraying emotions, and I join in. Giggles erupt from some deep, dark crevice that I didn’t even know existed until this exact moment in time.
“I freaking did it!” I shout before laughing breathlessly. The world around me fades away, leaving only Jude and me wrapped in each other’s embrace.
“Mind if I ask you something, love?” Jude asks. His voice is smooth, like Tennessee Whiskey. His gaze seems to bounce all around my face while paying particular attention to my eyes and lips. I’m sure I’m flushed, and my hair is a mess, but I’ve never felt more beautiful than right now with Jude staring at me. His eyes shine with pure, uninhibited affection. I’ve never felt more alive than I do in this precise moment, and I know that my entire life is about to be shifted from its axis, thanks to the man in front of me.
Hesitantly, I nod my head in response, knowing that Jude’s question is going to shake me to my very core.
“Do you mind if I kiss you, Kitten?”
I lick my lips in anticipation. The motion causes Jude’s hot cocoa eyes to shift from my gaze and focus on my mouth instead, zeroing in on my tongue as it slips between my lips.
My heart rate picks up again, skipping a beat entirely, as I silently give my permission to the man in front of me. He’s staring at me like a starving man, making me feel like I’m a big, juicy steak he can’t wait to devour.
His lips tilt into a wicked smile that causes butterflies to attack my stomach. I never knew they could be so vicious. Slowly, as if Jude has all the time in the world, he leans closer. Yet, not close enough. My gaze lands on his tantalizing mouth while begging him to kiss me like my life depends on it. His hands are still resting on my lower back. He’s gripping me tightly, and I love the pressure of his fingers digging into my skin. The feeling is addictive.
I’m frozen in place as my instincts war with each other. Part of me wants to lean forward and fight for something I want, instead of waiting around for it to happen. The other half is leaning back, scared out of my dang mind that I’m about to kiss the guy of my dreams, and that I’ll somehow screw it up.
This is the same voice that I should be telling to bug off. But that’s easier said than done.
I’ve never been kissed. Not sure if he knows this or not, but I’m suddenly terrified that he’ll be able to tell from my lack of finesse. And it’ll ruin the entire moment.
He must sense the hesitation in my eyes because it only causes his smile to stretch wider.
“Time to jump again, Kitten,” he murmurs quietly before placing his lips on mine.
His kiss is soft. Tender. He moves slowly like he’s afraid he’ll scare me off, but as soon as I get a taste of him, I can’t help but reciprocate the foreign movements. My lips move of their own accord, mimicking his actions. This kiss almost feels like dancing. Like every step leads to another one, and Jude guides me the entire time to a rhythm only we can feel.
He tastes good. Like the peppermint candies I used to sneak at restaurants. I slip my tongue into his mouth while savoring his unique flavor. He groans in the back of his throat as I nibble his lower lip, taking the plump flesh between my teeth and biting softly.
Kissing is fun, my inner girl acknowledges, and I couldn’t agree more.
The longer our lips connect, I turn into a completely different girl. One without inhibitions. My fingers dig into his muscular biceps as I rise onto my tippy toes, trying to get a better angle. Aggressively, I suck his tongue into my mouth and rub my chest against his like a cat in heat. I’m not sure who this girl is, but she wants Jude. Badly.
Jude’s grip on my lower back tightens possessively before releasing his hold. His hands wander to my hips and squeeze once for good measure. Afterward, he slowly pushes me away. The movement causes distance between our bodies that were recently plastered together like peanut butter and jelly. My head tries to catch up with his action but is two seconds too slow when Jude chuckles quietly.
“Kitten, while I appreciate your enthusiasm, it seems we have an audience.” His eyes subtly shift from left to right. I follow his gaze to find Ronny and Jonah making lewd gestures with their hands. Marcus looks uncomfortable. His hands are in his front pockets, and his eyes are focused firmly on the ground in front of him. Trevon is too busy looking at his cell to even notice the make-out show we just performed in front of everyone.
My face is flaming as I assess our audience, my initial bravado nowhere to be seen. I bury my head into Jude’s warm chest, while silently begging him to swallow me whole so I can disappear from the embarrassing situation I find myself i
n.
Jude’s muscular arms pull me closer as his infectious chuckle melts away my discomfort.
“I’ve got you, Babe. Don’t fret your pretty little head.” He kisses the top of my hair with a loud smooching sound that reminds me of a cartoon character. His playfulness soothes my frazzled nerves from the outside in, and I grin at his silly affection in return.
“Shall we grab a bite to eat?” Jude whispers against my forehead. He’s slowly leading me out of my embarrassment like a turtle coming out of her shell. I’m actually quite impressed with his Quin Handling Skills. He must’ve found a Quincy Phillips Manual or something and is following its instructions to a “T.”
I chance a peek up at the guy of my dreams before nodding subtly.
“Food sounds great,” I choke out as my shyness still fights to take hold. I push past it and walk to my teammates with my head held high. Well, sort of high, anyway. As for my pink cheeks, there’s no use fighting those bad boys when they decide to make an appearance.
“Alright, guys. Let’s get some grub.”
Jonah is about to make a smartass comment, but I’ve thoroughly distracted him with the mere mention of food.
“Amen to that, sista!” Ronny states, enthusiastically. He throws a gangly arm around my neck before leading me through the casino to the parking lot. We all climb in, and I end up having one of the best nights of my life.
Jude and I don’t get that “date” he promised me, but I’m okay with that. Instead, I get to spend the night nurturing relationships that I’ve been too terrified to culminate before now. Apparently, I just needed to jump off a building. It’s refreshing to let my mask slip. To give these acquaintances the opportunity to see the real me. Not the gaming imposter I hide behind on a daily basis in hopes of keeping my brittle heart from making real connections with people. I hope they don’t let me down for my vulnerability.