by Mj Fields
I sat and watched him uncork the bottles and he set out ten glasses.
The first glass he poured was a red.
“We first look at our wine. Tilt your glass and watch the change in color. Reds like this, lose color and turn more brownish. You’ll notice the sediment in the bottom of some bottles, also indicating that it is more aged. Whites become darker with age. You see?”
“Yes.”
“Now, look how it runs slowly down the side of the glass. The slower it runs the more body the wine has.”
“Okay.”
“Very good, next swirl the glass, it increases the surface and allows some oxygen into the wine, which will help its aromas open up. Hold it a few inches away and then move in slowly. Smell it?”
“Mmm.”
“Mmm.” He walked over and sat beside me.
“Now sip the wine, Laney, but do not swallow.” He smirked.
“No swallowing.”
“Wine, no swallowing wine.” He stared at my mouth and licked his lips.
“Wine?”
“Yes, of course, wine.” He smirked, “Hold the liquid in your mouth and roll it around. Expose your taste buds to it. You’ll be able to taste the sweetness, sour, salty, bitterness, or a meaty taste. Feel the texture, its weight, its body.” I nodded, “Now let me taste, pour it from your mouth to mine.”
He took my face and positioned it, opening his mouth. Without hesitation, I let the wine out from my mouth to his. I leaned in after he swallowed, expecting a kiss.
“No, no that would not be good.” His voice was thick and raspy, “Not yet, anyway.” He closed his eyes for a moment, “Now with your lips pursed like you’re going to kiss me, draw in a breath and exhale though your nose. The nose is the only place you can detect the aroma. Our natural enzymes in our mouths taint the actual aroma. This aspirates the wine, allowing more of your senses to enjoy the process. Now with a red wine, take another sip, slurp the wine, drawing in air and see how that also changes the texture and flavor.” I nodded, “Good, now give it to me.” He opened his mouth again.
When we finally made it to the fifth glass we were both nearly out of our minds with need. He exercised more restraint than I did, so I started throwing my clothes off before they melted into my skin.
The next night we did it again, tasted that is. I found my wine of choice was Dominic and I could care less what region we lived in as long as it was with him. When I told him that, there was no time to remove clothes. My skirt was hiked up, panties torn off, pulled on his lap as he sat on the barstool, and he was inside me in less than twenty seconds.
When we finished, I reached over and grabbed the bottle we hadn’t touched and took a drink from it.
“This is it, I love this one,” I smiled.
“You sure?” he chuckled
“Yes. Not that it matters, but yes, I love it.”
“What do you taste?”
“Cherry, it’s full, drier than the others, but I really like it.”
“Vino Nobile di Montepulciano,” he said it so sexy that I moaned.
“Say it again.”
“Vino Nobile di Montepulciano.”
“Made from?”
“I’m impressed with the questions, Delaney. Sangiovese grapes in Montepulciano. The Tuscan region.”
“That’s close to your winery?”
“Yes, it is the mountain regions of Tuscany.”
“Not near the ocean?”
“Close.” He rubbed his thumb across my lip.
“Close enough to ship without a huge expense to the winery?”
“Yes. But not on the ocean.”
“We love the ocean.”
“We do.”
“Right.”
“You want the ocean, and Sangiovese grapes.”
“And to be near the winery.”
He smiled.
“Then our decision is made?”
I nodded.
“We have a home, Delany. We just have to get there.”
***
The day the building is set to be demolished, he sends fewer messages and doesn’t answer his phone twice. I know he is busy, and I knew this building coming down is emotional. I hate that I am not there with him.
The third time I call, he answers.
“Talk to me, Dominic.”
“I apologize, I have been busy.”
“Okay, but don’t shut me out. I wish I could be there with you. I really do, and I want you to know something. I know the words haven’t been exchanged but I need to tell you that I l--”
“Not yet, Delaney. Please, not yet.” He sighs.
“Dominic, it’s time,” I hear her in the background before I hear static.
I feel a wave of nausea pour throughout my entire body.
“Goodbye, Dominic.” I hang up the phone I feel numb. I feel betrayed, I feel stupid, and I feel --pathetic.
When my phone rings, I just look at it. It is a picture of us.
I look at the time; it is only 3:30 in the morning here.
I am not sure what to do. I can’t talk to anyone. Hell, even my friends and I have only been texting lately. We are all grown up now. All of us are adults and adjusting to the next phase in life. God, how could I have trusted him?
He sends a message and I try to ignore it, but I can’t.
This day has gone from bad to worse, Laney. In my worst days, I need you to be strong and trust me. I stopped you because some things aren’t meant to be said the first time over the phone or through a text. It means much more than that. You and I mean much more to one another than that. And if I’m to be honest, it’s important to me that I be the first to say it. I have waited all my life for you. Give me that privilege, please.
He makes no mention of Jules. Does he think I am stupid? Of course he does.
I reply.
Three words, ‘This is done.’
Four words, ‘Have fun with Jules.’
Five words, ‘How could you do this?’
Six words, ‘Never mind, it doesn’t matter now.’
Seven words, ‘I hope you’re happy, you crushed me.’
I don’t send them. I can’t hurt him, even if he has hurt me. I love him. I love him so much, that it will never be possible to hate him.
I crawl back into the bed I have shared with him for the past week, holding the pillow that smells like him, and cry as my heart breaks from the loss of him. I can’t stop.
“Laney,” I look up and Valentina is standing next to the bed. She points, “May I?”
I nod and bury my head back in the pillow.
“Is she there?” I hear Dominic’s panicked voice and look up at the phone she holds.
“Laney, don’t cry.”
“That’s not fair!” I yell. “This isn’t fair. How dare you send her to…”
“Laney, this building is about to come down. Thirty seconds it’s going down. This is a good day. Don’t cry.”
I bury my head in the pillow, “Valentina, I’m sorry but please just leave me alone. Just go, please.”
“Laney, its Joe. Look at me, dear.” I look up, expecting her to be climbing in my bed next and she isn’t. “The phone, dear.”
I look up and wipe my eyes.
“Hello. Ten seconds til it comes down, be with us. Watch with us. Celebrate with us.”
I nod and wipe my eyes.
“Five, four, three, two, one,” they all said together. There is a loud boom, and then the sound of glass and metal shattering. I watch the building implode into itself.
It only takes thirty seconds for the building to come down into a ball of dust and then it is silent.
Joe hugs Dominic and laughs. Dominic hugs her and then pulls back with a smile. He hugs her again and laughs. Whoever was holding the camera isn’t doing a great job, because they are gone.
“Laney, hi. This is Angelina, my daughter.” It is Jules. “Say hi, Laney.”
The little girl forms a small smile. “Beautiful Angel.”
Jules turns the phone back to her, “Laney, I asked to come. I’m sorry if it hurt you, but I needed this. I think, if we hadn’t gotten off on the wrong foot, you would agree. This is closure for me, for all the years I lost with Angelina and for everything I gave up to get her the care she needed. He cares for you so much. I’ve known him for years and I have never seen him in lo--”
“Okay, may I have the phone back, please?” Then, he is there. “You even look beautiful when you are crying.” I look down. “And when you frown. Look, I have a press conference and some people to meet. Then, I have to go see a man about a house. Don’t be angry, trust me.”
I take the phone from Valentina. “I’m happy the building is gone.”
“Me, too.” He nods.
“And I was actually going to go say goodbye to James, so I understand about Jules.”
“You what!”
Valentina covers her mouth to stop from laughing, I see her out of the corner of my eye.
“We went through a lot together. Lived together for four months and then another month, when I gave him another chance. So really, I get wanting to say goodbye. Enjoy your meeting.” I end the call.
My phone rings and I answer.
“Don’t you compare what I did with Jules to living with another man. He fucked around on you, Delaney.”
“I forgave him. I’m just going to say goodbye. Maybe just three or four days.”
“Like hell you are.”
“Hmm.”
“What’s hmm mean?”
“Hmm. Double standards don’t work with me. I’m going back to sleep. Oh, and keep in mind, just because you don’t want her, doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you.”
I hang up and look at Valentina. “I’m sorry to have involved you. I’m really tired.”
I fucked up by not letting Laney know Jules was coming. It wasn’t because I was being deceitful, or that I care deeply for Jules. It’s because she needs that part of her life to be gone. She did the only thing she thought she could to help her child. I can’t judge her, because I am not her; I haven’t lived her life.
Aunt Joe comes when I call her. I want her there, so she too, can feel that something taken away by her own family is returned. She said she didn’t need it. When I explain that Jules she said she did, Aunt Joe yells at me. She tells me the girl I love will be hurt.
She yells at me! And I love it. No one has ever told me I am fucking up without doing it in order to knock me down. I know Aunt Joe is doing it out of love.
Every morning I send Laney a text, assuring her that she is the only one I want. Every afternoon I call. Our conversations are shorter; she is more guarded. She asks that I take care of things in Italy when I tell her I am coming back. Every night, I send another text.
She is mine. I am hers. It is hard to imagine that what we have shared in the month we have been together, doesn’t seem enough to erase the doubt. For the first time, I am beginning to question us.
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but in this case it has not. Distance is distance; there is no logic in that statement, and in my case, no truth.
“Hello?”
“Valentina. I need you to get packed and ready to come home, I’m flying in tomorrow.”
“Her passport.”
“She got it two days ago.”
“She didn’t say anything, are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Why would she--”
“Because I hurt her. Because I allowed Jules to come.”
“That was pretty stupid, you know.”
“I have my reasons, Valentina.”
“Well, then I don’t blame Laney for not telling you. She’s going to have no one, except you in Italy.”
“And you.”
“Dominic, I would like to stay here for a while.”
“What?”
“You and Laney need time, and I would like to get to know Aunt Joe and my cousins.”
“What about school, Valentina?”
“I’ve decided I don’t want to be a vet.”
“What? When?”
“Probably the first time I had to assist in surgery.”
“That was a year ago. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
“You will only disappoint me, if you don’t tell me the truth.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Is this really what you want?”
“Right now, it is, yes.”
“And then, what?”
“I want a year to figure that out.”
“Alright then. I love you, Valentina. You talk to me about anything, understand?”
“I love you, too. I’ll make sure she gets packed.”
“No, I want to surprise her. Valentina, has she mentioned that, that--” I couldn’t even say his name.
She laughs, “She did.”
“This isn’t good.”
“She was trying to make you feel how she did. Did it work?”
“I don’t know. Was she considering murdering Jules?”
“No, I don’t think so. You maybe, but not Jules.”
“I love her, Valentina.”
“She loves you, too.”
“I know she does.”
“Then, for the love of God, tell her.”
“You remember how Dad and Mom used to treat each other?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“That was love, respect, adoration, topped with even more love. They were affectionate, and put each other on top of their list of priorities. When I tell her I love her, she’ll never doubt me again.”
***
It is three in the morning when I walk in, and she is asleep on the couch. I fight the urge to wake her, and instead walk into the bedroom, where Valentina is already packing her belongings.
I give her a hug and a kiss on each cheek, “I’m supposed to be taking care of you, and you have been doing it for me. What the hell happened?”
“You’re ready to live for you, Dominic.”
“I’m still always gonna be here for you.”
“You better be.”
The bags are in the car and Valentina gives Laney a hug and kiss, “I love you, sister.”
Laney’s eyes open and she looks around dazed, “Is everything alright? Is--”
“Everything is fine. It’s time for you to go home.” Valentina smiles. “Dominic’s here.”
Her head snaps around and she looks at me. “When, why, what time is it?”
“It’s time to hop a plane.”
“I can’t yet, I--”
“Your passport came three days ago, Laney. Your bags are packed and in the car. The plane is fueled up and ready to go.”
“I need a shower.”
“You took a bath three hours ago.” Valentina laughs. “Wake up girl, the rest of your life starts now.”
She nods, covers her face, and then shakes her head back and forth. “I don’t know if I can.”
I walk around and stand in front of her. “Go use the bathroom and let’s go. We need to take off.”
The way she looks at me gives me a sick feeling in my stomach. “I don’t know if I can.”
I bend down, picking her up and she begins to squirm, “Put me down!”
I walk into the bathroom and set her on the floor. “Use the bathroom and let’s go.”
“I. Don’t. Think. I. Can.”
“You have two choices, one includes getting on the goddamned toilet. The other includes me carrying you out of this building, kicking and screaming into the fucking car.”
“Get out! Just get out!” she screams.
“No!”
“I don’t want to hurt you! I don’t want to hurt you! So leave.”
“I fucked up! I didn’t tell you she was coming, I didn’t know until the night before, and I didn’t want to hurt you. My aunt was there. I may have made a bad judgment call but Jesus Christ, Laney, this is fucking bullshit. You don’t want to hurt me? Wh
at the hell do you think it felt like when I found out you had your goddamned passport and didn’t want to tell me? You already did, okay? We’re even. Get your--”
“Dominic, don’t!” Valentina yells.
I look at Valentina and then at Laney. I say nothing, as I walk out of the bathroom, and then out of the door.
Valentina gives me a sad look. “What just happened, Laney?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t know.”
“Do you love my brother?”
I sob into my hands, “Yes!”
“Then, what are you doing?”
“I don’t make people happy. I don’t—I dreamed of her.”
“Who?”
“My sister.”
“She would want you to be happy, Laney,” Valentina sits on the floor next to me.
“I know.”
“Then, let her rest peacefully, give her that.”
I wipe my face and stand up, “Can you give me a minute alone, please?”
I walk out and Valentina is standing there. “I don’t dream about her.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t dream about her and I did. She told me, ‘I love you, sister.’ Then I woke up. It hurts and I freaked out.”
“I said, ‘I love you sister,’ Laney, that’s when you woke up.”
“You said it?”
She nods.
“So, she didn’t?”
“I’m sure she would, if she could.”
“Right.”
“I called a taxi.”
“I’ve never seen him angry before, and I did that to him. I--”
“I’ve seen him like that once. Last time he beat the shit out of Benito,” she smiles.
“What am I going to do?”
“Go, I will ride with you.”
“No. I’ll do it myself. Do you think he’ll forgive me?”
“He loves you. People don’t just stop--”
“Yes, they do. With me, they do.”
She looks at me, “No, Laney, they don’t.”
I walk out the door with my bag and Valentina hugs me. “I love you, Laney.”
“You’re going to make me cry, again.” I look in my bag.
“Everything okay?”