The Trouble With Words: a heart-warming romantic comedy

by Suzie Tullett

  Annabel headed out back, telling herself a cup of tea would make her feel better. Not that she really believed in the power of the hot drink, her stash of teabags had failed to work their magic all week. She grabbed one from its box and simply tossed it into her cup before clicking the kettle on.

  While waiting for the water to boil, the shop door opened and its bell sounded. ‘At last,’ she said. ‘A customer.’ With a bit of luck they’d want lots of fancy flower arrangements organising for some big event, a job detailed enough to give her mind another diversion.

  She put on her best customer service smile before stepping out to greet them. Caught by surprise, both she, and her smile, froze. The last person Annabel expected to see standing there was Dan; and despite plotting his physical downfall all week, she found herself lost for words, let alone ready for action.

  He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept properly in days. But Annabel felt in no mood to sympathise, a lack of sleep was something she also knew all too well and recently, it was thanks to him.

  ‘You’ve got some nerve,’ she finally said.

  ‘I wanted to explain,’ he replied. ‘And to apologise.’

  Annabel scoffed. Folding her arms, she automatically pushed her hip out to one side. ‘For what?’ she asked. ‘For agreeing to something you shouldn’t have agreed to in the first place? Or for humiliating me after the fact?’

  ‘That was never my intention,’ said Dan.

  His words sounded feeble. However, his expression told a different story. He actually had the decency to look like he meant it.

  ‘I mean you could’ve told me you’d changed your mind,’ said Annabel. ‘I would have understood. But to just not turn up like that, how could you be so cruel?’

  ‘You’re right, I should’ve called you. I’m sorry.’ He turned to leave.

  Annabel couldn’t believe it. How dare he turn his back on her, she deserved more than that. The man might not be begging her forgiveness, but an explanation wouldn’t have gone amiss. And besides, just because he’d decided to be a man of few words, thanks to the way he’d treated her, she still had plenty to say.

  ‘What? That’s it?’

  He stopped in his tracks. ‘Like I said, I wanted to apologise.’

  After seeing the man appear so defeated, Annabel suddenly found herself torn. Yes, a part of her wanted to stuff him, to let him walk out the door never to be seen again. Under the circumstances that would be the sensible thing to do. However, unlike the Dan she’d talked to on previous occasions, this Dan had no spark. He had no oomph. There was clearly something more going on here. Standing there looking at him, she just had to decide if she really wanted to know what.

  Annabel felt herself relax and decided against her better judgement. ‘Look, why don’t we start again? Over a cuppa?’

  Her question clearly needed some consideration.

  ‘I was making one anyway,’ she said.

  He still didn’t answer, but neither did he attempt to leave.

  Annabel tried to hide her frustration, reminding herself that opening up didn’t come easy for some. ‘Here,’ she said, dragging a stool from behind the counter so he could sit down, she refused to take no for an answer.

  Despite his continued hesitation, she left him hovering while she went out back to re-boil the kettle and was surprised to find he hadn’t moved an inch when she returned with two steaming mugs. ‘You can sit down, you know,’ she said, pointing to the pre-allocated seat.

  Annabel watched him do as he was told; she wondered if inviting Dan to stay had been the right thing to do after all. Rather than engaging with her, he seemed to be on automatic pilot. Another feeling she knew all too well.

  ‘Talking about it might help,’ she said.

  He responded with a smile, but it looked empty.

  ‘Doesn’t change anything, though, does it?’ he replied.

  Annabel handed him his drink and while wrapping both her hands around her own cup, she let the room descend into silence. If Dan was anything like her, he would speak when he was ready.

  ‘So what happened?’ he suddenly asked. ‘To your husband, I mean?’

  ‘But how did you …?’

  As he nodded to the gold band that hung on a chain around her neck, Annabel immediately put a hand up to her chest, surprised to find her wedding ring on show. Quickly tucking it away, she made sure it stayed put where it belonged – resting against her heart. Unable to understand what Tom had to do with anything, Dan’s question threw her a little; she wasn’t used to talking about him with people he’d never known. ‘He died,’ she said, wondering where all this was going.

  ‘Jeez.’

  Annabel supposed there wasn’t much else he could say. ‘Tell me about it,’ she replied.

  ‘How?’ asked Dan.

  Annabel shifted in her seat, wishing he’d just move the conversation on. ‘A hit and run. Some young lad, according to witnesses, although they never caught him.’

  ‘I’ve only ever known one person die,’ said Dan. ‘My dad, when I was ten.’

  Despite feeling uneasy with the subject matter, Annabel tried to look reassuring. ‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ she said.

  As the room fell quiet once more, Annabel didn’t just feel uncomfortable, she felt awkward. She knew Dan was working up to something but already felt out of her depth. Out of all her family and friends, she’d been the only one to suffer any real drama in life. And she’d gotten so used to receiving comfort it was as if she’d forgotten how to give it, a realisation made worse when tears began to well in Dan’s eyes.

  She’d never actually seen a grown man cry before. The men she knew weren’t prone to demonstrating their emotions like this. Even at Tom’s funeral, the attending males managed to keep their feelings in check. Unlike them though, Dan seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve. She considered his emotional honesty a refreshing change, at the same time knowing that if he went into a complete watery breakdown, she’d be useless. His tears would end up a horrible embarrassment to the both of them.

  She reached out and placed a consoling hand on his, hoping it wouldn’t come to that. However, he immediately withdrew from the gesture. An action that left her feeling a bit silly and with her palm now just resting on the counter, she too pulled back.

  ‘And now my mum’s dying too,’ he said.

  Jesus thought Annabel. No wonder the guy was a walking wreck.

  She watched him take a deep breath and then slowly exhale.

  ‘She told me the other night as I was about to leave for yours. That’s why I didn’t turn up.’

  Annabel didn’t know what to say. She’d realised whatever was going on had to be serious. His demeanour had told her that. However, she certainly hadn’t anticipated hearing something like this.

  ‘I know,’ said Dan. ‘What a kicker, eh?’

  Annabel pictured herself stomping around these last few days and immediately felt ashamed. When he’d stood her up, she hadn’t even considered the possibility he might have had good reason; that he’d have something more important to deal with. How could she be so selfish?

  ‘How long does she have?’ she asked.

  ‘Let’s just say we’re talking months, not years,’ Dan replied. ‘She was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer, except now it has spread to her spine. I should’ve known something was wrong, I could see she was losing weight. I put it down to some stupid diet she’d gone on, low carb or something. First she was cutting the crusts off of her bread, then refusing to eat bread at all. Then she stopped eating potatoes.’ He took a sip of his tea. ‘Now I know why. Food like that can’t get past the tumour.’

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ said Annabel. She of all people knew what it was like to lose someone.

  Annabel gave him a moment; she couldn’t help but think about the night Tom died. She could see herself pacing the length and breadth of the hospital family room. Family room, she silently scoffed. Such a title suggested a sense of comfort. Yet, with its plain,
white washed walls, and hard, plastic chairs, let alone the reasons for its very existence, it didn’t exactly live up to its name. The police officer who’d driven her there tried to do his job and offer support, but everything that came out of his mouth sounded hollow, and she just wanted to scream at him to shut up. She didn’t, of course. She just stopped listening and instead, prayed like she’d never prayed before. She felt the all-consuming desperation as she willed Tom to live; he couldn’t leave her. Not now, not ever. She pictured the doctor as he entered the room. No words were necessary, his face said it all, and as the room suddenly started to spin, Annabel felt her legs buckle.

  Annabel saw the same kind of desperation in Dan’s face. Experience told her the last thing he needed right now was a string of platitudes, knowledge that left her almost too scared to speak for fear of saying the wrong thing.

  She wondered if she should feel relieved that Tom had been taken in an instant. There one minute and gone in the next. She hadn’t been forced to watch him getting sicker and sicker, all the while knowing there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. How on earth did anyone cope with that?

  ‘I really am sorry,’ she said.

  She watched him take another deep breath and hastily wipe his eyes.

  ‘Of course, it’s just like her to refuse treatment,’ he said, trying to raise a smile. ‘She doesn’t see the point in dragging things out an extra few weeks, especially if she’s too ill to enjoy them.’

  ‘What about you?’ asked Annabel. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘It’s not about me, is it?’ said Dan. ‘I have to respect her wishes.’ He took a sip of his tea, the poor man’s hands shaking as he struggled to keep it together. ‘All I can do is be strong for her sake, which is really hard when she won’t even talk about it. She’s acting like there’s nothing wrong.’

  Annabel reached out once more; pleased to find that this time he didn’t recoil.

  ‘It’s always the good ones, isn’t it?’ he said, a sentiment with which Annabel whole-heartedly agreed.

  ‘What’s your mum like?’ she asked. During her own dark days, talking about Tom had a way of making her feel better and she assumed the opportunity to talk would benefit Dan too. ‘Tell me about her.’

  Just the mere thought of his mum made him smile, except now it wasn’t just with his lips, Annabel saw his whole face light up.

  ‘She’s fun,’ he said. ‘You’d like her. Although she’s completely mad with it, nothing at all like your typical mum.’

  ‘In what way?’

  ‘Well how many other women do you see wandering around the supermarket in an evening dress?’

  Annabel had to admit that did seem a bit bizarre. Trying to picture the scene, she certainly couldn’t imagine her own mother dressed to the nines while tottering up and down the freezer aisle.

  ‘Don’t get me wrong, she’s not mentally ill or anything,’ said Dan, as if reading her mind. ‘Even if she does do the most random things going. She just doesn’t believe in saving anything for best. It doesn’t matter what it is, we could be talking about a silver coffee pot or a hat for all Mum cares. She says most of the stuff she owns wouldn’t get used if it only came out for special occasions. She’s the same about her wardrobe.’

  Annabel thought about the rank and file of long forgotten clothes hanging in her own closet, she could see his mum had a point.

  ‘Plus, she insists that looking nice makes a woman feel nice,’ Dan added.

  Annabel looked down at her own attire. Throwing on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of pumps every morning had become more of a routine than a fashion choice, and again, she could understand the woman’s reasoning.

  ‘Although she doesn’t always make life easy,’ he continued. ‘Even now she’s creating unnecessary challenges, can you believe?’

  ‘Really,’ said Annabel, intrigued. ‘Like what?’

  Dan nervously chuckled and shook his head. He seemed to be wondering if he should really be telling her this. ‘Before she told me she was sick she made me make a promise.’ He shifted in his seat. ‘Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s just silly.’

  ‘No, go on. Tell me,’ said Annabel. Urging him to continue, this was the most relaxed he’d been since his arrival and not only did she think it important to keep his spirits up, he was right, his mum did seem fun and she wanted to know more.

  ‘She conned me into giving my word that I’d find myself a wife before she dies.’

  Annabel’s jaw dropped. ‘You’re kidding me?’ she said.

  Dan shook his head. ‘I wish I was.’ He stared into his cup. ‘It’s only ever been the two of us, you see. I don’t have any brothers or sisters and there’s no other family to speak of. She probably thinks she’s looking out for me. Of course, when I agreed, I didn’t realise I’d be working to a time scale.’

  Annabel could appreciate where his mum was coming from. Even with a family behind her, she knew first-hand what it was like to be left behind. Something she wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy, let alone someone in Dan’s shoes. She guessed his mother knew that too, being a widow herself. Dan was going to need all the support he could get. And if the support wasn’t there, then where would that leave him?

  ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said Dan. ‘I’ve been wondering if this is her way of keeping me busy so I don’t have to think about what’s really going on here. About what really matters.’

  ‘That’s one way of looking at it. Or she’s just being a mum to the very end,’ suggested Annabel. ‘She’s thinking about what’s going to happen in your future rather than dwelling on her own.’

  ‘Maybe,’ said Dan. ‘I hadn’t quite thought about it like that.’

  ‘So what now? Are you going to keep your promise?’

  He shrugged. ‘It’s a big ask.’

  Annabel had to agree. It took most people years before they found The One and this poor chap only had months. ‘And I thought looking for a baby daddy was a challenge,’ she said.

  ‘About that,’ said Dan.

  Annabel felt herself redden. She hadn’t meant to think out loud.

  ‘Don’t worry about it,’ she quickly replied. Knowing what he was about to say, she understood why he’d want to back out. ‘I’m sure I can find someone else. You need to concentrate on yourself and your mum right now.’

  ‘But I want to do it,’ he said.

  Annabel looked at him surprised. With everything he had going on at the moment, she would’ve thought sperm donation to be the last thing on his mind. ‘Sorry?’ she said. Surely she must have misheard.

  ‘Look, we both know the odds are against me. I’m never going to find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with in such a short time.’

  Yet again, Annabel found herself wondering where all this was going.

  ‘So to be able to tell mum she’s going to be a grandma instead, at least that would be something.’

  Annabel bit her lip. As sorry as she was for Dan, this was not part of the plan. She felt terrible. Having been the one to ask him for help in the first place, every fibre of her being screamed no, she couldn’t return the favour. It was one thing giving him a listening ear, but to actually get involved in his mum’s dying … after what happened to Tom, his request felt a bit too close for comfort.

  ‘I know you said this arrangement was no strings attached,’ he carried on. ‘That I’m out of the picture once you’re pregnant. I’ll even admit to not being one hundred per cent sure about what I was doing when I agreed to become a donor. But things have changed now. If Mum knows I have a child on the way, she’ll know I have a focus, a reason to keep going, just like she did with me when Dad died. You can see that, can’t you?’

  Lost for words, unfortunately Annabel could see it.

  ‘Don’t worry. You won’t have to pretend we’re in some sort of relationship. And telling her about the pregnancy would be a last resort. I just don’t want her to go thinking she’s deserting me. That she’s leaving me compl
etely on my own.’

  Annabel still couldn’t bring herself to speak. Yes, she fully understood his concerns. The prospect of leaving her son with more or less no one in the world must be devastating for his mother and she could appreciate why Dan would want to protect her from that. But his pleas didn’t stop her wanting to run for the hills.

  She looked into his desperate eyes.

  ‘Annabel?’ he said, clearly expecting an answer.

  ‘Okay,’ she found herself saying.

  8

  Standing at the sink in her finery, hands submerged in the washing up, Annabel giggled. She felt a bit silly being all dressed up with nowhere to go. At the same time, she had to admit Dan’s mother was right. Having not stopped tittering since getting changed, looking good did go some way to making a woman feel good. Breaking into fits of giggles probably wasn’t quite what his mum had in mind though, thought Annabel, laughing at herself regardless. And ignoring the splashes of water landing on her dress, she considered asking Dan whether there were any more tips in the offering.

  ‘As long as he doesn’t think the glitzy attire is for his benefit,’ she said. Then again, with everything else he had going on at the moment, Annabel doubted he’d even notice.

  She thought about their recent exchanges. Apart from a few cursory words about work and the weather, it wasn’t as if they’d had any real conversation since that day in the shop. She always made a point of enquiring after his mum, of course, to which he continuously gave some standard reply. She was doing okay. A response that Annabel deemed strange in light of the emotional honesty he’d previously shown. Maybe he felt embarrassed at breaking down in front of her. Or, he could be burying his head in the sand, telling himself if he didn’t talk about it, his mother’s illness would just go away. Sad really, but whatever the reason, he hadn’t confided in her since.