by Amali Rose
“I remember everything you say, Squeak.” Leaning his forehead against mine, he kisses my nose. With a big smile lighting up his face he grabs my hand and drags me toward the ride. “You ready to ride, cowgirl?” he throws over his shoulder and I groan at his attempt at humor.
“Ugh, will your jokes ever get better?”
“Probably not.” His laughter hits my ears as a smile blooms across my face.
Later, as we sit on the subway headed home, I relax against Ben. Exhausted but sated, I am so grateful to the man beside me. I’ve never had someone want to take care of me the way he does. The feeling of adoration is all encompassing and I wonder now how I ever lived without him in my life. This thought momentarily jolts me out of my blissed stupor as my mind wanders into dangerous territory. How will I survive if this ends and I’m left abandoned again?
Looking up at Ben, I watch as he scrolls through his phone replying to emails, and I shut down that train of thought immediately. This is real, I tell myself. This is forever, and I’m not going to create trouble where there is none.
Glancing up, Ben smiles at me.
“You good?” he asks.
“Yep,” I reply. “Ben?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“You are so getting laid tonight.” I silence his laughter with my mouth.
I feel the sun shining down on me as I walk along 14th Street, humming the tune to Helium under my breath and trying to control the excitement thrumming through my veins.
Ben has proven over the last six months that he is the king of surprises. Whether it’s popping into my work unannounced, randomly sending me flowers or planning something special like our day on the weekend. He is forever doing things that make me feel cherished and loved.
So, today I am determined to earn some brownie points, and as I make my way through the doors to UTCB Software Solutions, I am carrying a box of Guinness, Whiskey and Irish Cream cupcakes from Ben’s favorite bakery. I’m hoping to drag him from work early so we can enjoy a night of pizza and Netflix. Hopefully followed by me for dessert.
The elevator doors open and I step out, following the path I took on my previous, and only, visit to Ben’s office, I am taken through an open-plan floor space filled with about a dozen cubicles. The low hum of noise that is unique to an office workplace is somewhat soothing and I can easily see Ben, confident and comfortable in this environment. The thought makes my chest puff with a sense of pride that I have a small claim on this man.
Approaching his office door, I am juggling the box of cupcakes to free up a hand so I can knock when I hear the sound of voices and I pause to ensure I’m not interrupting anything important.
“Ben, you’re a genius! I’ve been trying to debug that source code for days and was completely stuck.”
At the sound of the feminine voice I peek through the door and see a beautiful blonde sitting on the edge of Ben’s desk. Tall and lean, her crossed legs appear to go on forever and my eyes trail up them, taking in her elegant black dress. Sitting at knee length with a small slit along the side and a V neck that dips low enough to show off a slight amount of cleavage, the overall effect is professional yet sexy.
My eyes rise to her face and I see a classically beautiful woman; her face made up impeccably and her long blonde hair pulled up into an intricate chignon. She is basically the polar opposite to my short, curvy self with my boho style and lack of makeup, and I feel the icy tentacles of jealousy start to tighten around my heart. I can’t compete with a woman like this and as I watch the two of them, I observe her mannerisms closely. The way she brushes her hand across her chest, drawing attention to her breasts. The small, seemingly innocuous touches she places on Ben. Her entire demeanour towards him makes it clear that her interest is not purely professional.
As I stand in the doorway silently observing, Ben glances up and notices me.
“Skye! Baby, what are you doing here?” He is out of his chair, bounding across the room and wrapping me up in a hug before I have a chance to respond. His enthusiastic welcome almost causes me to drop the cupcakes, but I’m too relieved at his open display of affection in front of Glamor Girl to care, and glancing past Ben I see her watching us with barely concealed disdain.
“What did you bring me, babe?” Ben asks, reaching out and taking the box from my hands, he holds it in one large palm while he laces the fingers of his other hand through mine and pulls me into his office.
Placing the cupcakes on his desk, he holds me tight to his side and addresses GG.
“Squeak, this is Siobhan; she’s the assistant project manager on that account I’ve been heading. Siobhan, this is my girl, Skye.” He looks down at me, planting a kiss on the top of my head. Trying to be adult about the situation, I give Siobhan a warm smile and hold my hand out to her.
“It’s so nice to meet you.”
“Yes, you too,” she replies in a silky voice that doesn’t quite match the glint of malice in her eyes.
“Okay, Ben, I’ll leave you to it now. The hotel bookings are all confirmed and our flight is ten fifteen on Wednesday morning. I’ll have a car pick myself up and then we’ll be at your place at about seven thirty. Have a lovely evening.” She reaches out, stroking down Ben’s arm and giving it a squeeze before nodding to me with a slight smirk tilting her lips and walking out.
I shoot Ben a quizzical look before questioning, “Hotel?”
“Yeah, the managing directors of the company we’re doing that project for sent a memo today, requesting a face-to-face meeting to go over the finer points of the analysis we’ve given them.” He pulls a face, letting me know he’s as thrilled about it as I am. Although remembering the predatory look in Siobhan’s eyes as she watched Ben, I’m guessing my apathy beats his.
“So, where are you heading?” I probe for details, doing my best to appear unconcerned.
“Their head office is in Atlanta, so all going to plan I’ll be back Thursday. You think you can live without me and my bad jokes for one night, babe?”
Trying to hide the turmoil consuming me, I tilt my head as if pondering his question. “I think I just might be able to survive one night.” I allow a little snort to escape.
“That’s my girl.” He crushes me to him in a toe-tingling, full-body hug. “Now, what’s in your box?” He waggles his eyebrows at me and I can’t control the loud groan that bursts from my mouth.
“Yeah, I don’t think a night off from those jokes is going to be a struggle at all.”
“Ah, Squeak, you know it’s all part of my charm.” Handing me the box, he picks up his jacket with one hand and wraps the other arm around my shoulders. “C’mon, babe, I’ve earned an early finish. Let’s get out of here.”
Lying on the sofa, the entire length of my body is connected to Ben’s as we laze about in a food coma, watching a Big Bang Theory marathon. But my mind is elsewhere and I’ve struggled to stay present all night. I keep seeing Siobhan’s hand gripping Ben’s arm, hearing her melodic voice play over and over in my head as I analyze everything I heard her say. I hate myself for letting these insecurities plague me but I’m helpless to stop them.
“Skye?” Ben’s whisper caresses my ear.
“Huh?” I answer distractedly.
“Baby, is everything okay? You’ve been preoccupied all night.”
I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, trying to center myself and find the courage to have this conversation. Because we do need to have it, of that I’m completely sure.
Manoeuvring myself and twisting my body so that I am facing him, I reach up and stroke my hand gently across his cheek. He leans into my touch, never breaking eye contact, waiting patiently for me to continue.
“Did I ever tell you my dad met his new wife at work?”
“No,” he whispers. “You never mentioned that.”
“Yeah, Genevieve was his secretary. It’s so ridiculously cliché, it’s hard not to laugh.” I close my eyes against the inevitable pain that flows whenever I think about my father. I feel
Ben brush his nose along mine and then ghost a kiss across my cheek. It’s only then that I realize a tear has escaped.
“Siobhan has feelings for you,” I say, my voice barely audible.
“Yes, she does,” he confirms, and my eyes snap to his in shock.
“You know?”
“Well, yeah. I’m an incredibly perceptive guy, you know.” I bow my head down, placing it against his chest, allowing his warmth to comfort me. Placing a finger under my chin, he lifts my head up so I can meet his gaze. “Plus, she told me at last year’s Christmas party.” He gives me a lopsided grin that causes me to reach up and kiss him. Licking along the seam of his lips, I seek entry. He opens his mouth and his tongue finds mine. We continue like this, Ben’s possession of my mouth slowly driving away any doubts I have about our relationship, reaffirming his want, his desire. His need for me.
Breaking away, he nibbles and kisses along my jaw and neck before resting his forehead against mine and closing his eyes.
“I’m not your dad, Skye. I don’t want Siobhan, I want you. Every bit of you, including your trust. I need you to know that I will never intentionally do anything to hurt you. I love you, Squeak. You need to trust that or you’ll create problems that don’t exist.”
“I know,” I murmur. “I’ll try, I promise.”
“Good. But just in case you need more reassurance, let’s see what I can do” He presses his body into mine and every synapse jolts to life.
Placing a soft kiss on my temple, he says, “I love the way your mind works, the way you look at things so differently from me, and see things I don’t.”
His hand slides up my body, pausing briefly to squeeze my breast and pinch my nipple, it ends its delicious path resting on my chest.
“I love your heart. The way you love so hard and so fast. Your passion for the ones lucky enough to be loved by you.” He leans down, planting a kiss beside where his hand lays.
Glancing up at me, I see the playful look in his eyes vanish, replaced by a look of pure lust. His mouth takes mine in a crushing display of ownership and I welcome it. I want to be owned by him. To be his.
“This ass. These tits. This mouth. Your body is fucking incredible and I love that you trust me with it. It makes me want to dirty it up in every possible way, before loving it back to pure. Can I dirty you up, baby? I need to so bad.” His voice is low and harsh, pulsing with want.
“Please,” I sigh. That is all the encouragement he needs and his hands are immediately tugging my sleep shorts, along with my panties, down my legs and throwing them across the room. I shiver as the cold air hits my lower body, my pussy throbbing, and Ben slides a finger through my slit as a low growling sound vibrates from his throat.
“So fucking wet for me.” His hand makes its way up my body and finds itself at my neck and lightly squeezes. “Only for me, Squeak, yeah?”
“Yes,” I answer without hesitation. Because there is none. No man has ever turned me on the way Ben does.
Pulling his cock out of his boxers he pumps it slowly before using the tip to tease through my arousal, and I moan as my body is taken hostage by the overwhelming sensations. Reaching down, I push his hand away and take hold of my favorite appendage. My hand looks tiny and my fingers don’t even meet but I hold firm, jerking him off and loving the curses that trip off his lips.
Reaching over me, he grabs his wallet off the coffee table, quickly removing his emergency condom. Sheathing himself expertly, he pulls my leg up and over his hip and thrusts his cock deep inside me with no preamble. The close proximity of our bodies causes his pubic bone to rub against my clit with every thrust and the feeling sends me reeling. I’m desperate. Chasing my release, I claw at his back in a futile attempt to anchor myself.
“Feels so good, Skye, your cunt’s so fucking tight, squeezing me like this. You like having my dick pound into you?”
“Ah, harder, Ben. I need more.” He grasps my ass with both hands and slams himself into me, deep and hard, he is hitting every spot that I need. That I crave.
I lose the power to talk as wave after wave of pleasure rides through my body. Ben’s head falls forward, landing in the crook of my shoulder. He bites down hard as his cock pulses out his release and my pussy milks every last drop.
I don’t know how long we lie like that, wrapped up in each other, enjoying the intimacy, but I can’t remember ever feeling this way before.
Then, lifting his head, Ben places his lips lightly against mine. “It’s you, Squeak. I just want you.”
And just like that, I have found my happy place.
No. The word bounces around my brain as it refuses to understand what it’s seeing on my phone screen.
“So, he’s behind me, pounding into me like he thinks he’s a fucking porn star, when he pulls out and rips off the condom. And that’s hot, right? I love it when a guy comes on me. So, I turn around to watch and he shoots cum right into my ear. My ear, Balls! Into my fucking ear! It took seven fucking q-tips to get that shit out!”
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
“Skye! Are you even listening to me?”
“What?” I reply, though my eyes remain glued to the screen in front of me, as if staring at it long enough will change the notification glaring at me.
“Seriously, Skyballs? Sext with Spanky on your own time, you’re supposed to be mine tonight.”
Finally raising my eyes to meet Cassidy’s across the table, she cocks her head in realisation that I am upset.
“Babes, what’s wrong?” Reaching out, her hand grabs mine and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
“I’m late.”
“What? Late for what?” The confused look on her face would be laughable if my world wasn’t crashing down around me right now.
Shoving my phone in her face with the period tracker notification front and center, I feel the sting of tears as I scramble to make sense of this.
“You’re late,” she repeats quietly.
“Yep.”
“But it’s only a week, Balls, that’s nothing. It’s probably nothing.”
“I’m never late, Cass. Like never never. I can’t… I mean, I just… What do I do?” I ask, and my voice sounds tiny, even to my own ears.
Squaring her shoulders, she sucks in a deep breath before replying. “We get up, we find the nearest pharmacy, we buy a pregnancy test and you pee all over that fucker. Then we worry about what to do next. Sound like a plan?”
“Sounds like a plan,” I reply softly, standing up and taking hold of Cassidy’s proffered hand. “Cass? Thank you.”
“Enough with the sap, Balls, my cold heart can’t handle it. Now let’s get out of here.”
“Get out.”
“What, no way! Jesus, Skyballs, don’t be shy, just hike the skirt up, yank the panties down and pee on the goddam stick. I want to find out if I’m going to be a motherfucking aunt!”
“I am not peeing in front of you. That is not happening, so if you want to find out, you need to leave.”
“Ugh, hurry up then.” Huffing out a noise of frustration, she turns on her heel and storms out, slamming the door behind her.
Turning the box in my hands, I read the instructions on the pregnancy test for the twenty-seventh time before situating myself on the toilet and waiting for the two bottles of water I drank to do their job.
Five minutes later, I’m placing the test on the sink and washing my hands while I call out to Cassidy that it’s safe to enter.
“Oh my god, you take forever to pee!” she says as she bursts through the door and crouches down to look at the test. “How long do we have to wait?”
“Three minutes.” I slump to the ground as Cassidy checks the clock on her phone.
Coming over to where I sit, she slides down and takes up a spot on the floor next to me. Kissing me on my forehead, she lies her head on my shoulder and links her arm through mine.
“Are you excited?”
I sigh as I consider her question. “I don’t know. I mean, Ben
and I have never even talked about kids. Or the future at all really. We’ve only been together for six months, we’ve just been enjoying each other. And he has that history with his ex tricking him. I honestly don’t know how he would take the news of a pregnancy.”
“Okay, I’m going to ask you again, and this time I don’t want you to think. I just want you to feel. Are you excited?” Cassidy presses.
Unbidden, an image of Ben holding a soft, sleepy baby in his arms appears in my mind’s eye and my heart constricts at the thought. “Yeah,” I say softly. “I think I am.” I allow a small smile to break free.
“Eeeekkk, I’m gonna be an aunty! Aunty Cass! I swear, this kid is so fucking lucky, I’m going to give her chocolate every time I see her. She’s going to love me!”
“Her, huh?” I ask, laughing.
“It’s totes gonna be a girl, Balls. I know it,” she replies confidently.
Looking at my best friend, I feel the dread take flight. Cassidy’s excitement is contagious and I start to feel it hum through my body.
“Okay, you ready? Three minutes is up.”
“Yep, let’s do this.”
Cass bounds up and over to the sink, snatching up the test and examining it closely. Her eyes widen as they meet mine.
“We’re having a baby! Oh my god, we’re having a baby, Balls!” She begins jumping up and down and screaming.
My vision is impaired momentarily by white spots clouding my eyes and for a minute, all I can hear is the sound of my own heartbeat thundering in my ears.
“Oh, ew!” Cassidy shouts, suddenly dropping the test on the floor. “You peed on that!” Those four words bring me back to my senses and a loud laugh escapes as I join her in her happy dance. Because, baby.