Mr. Big Shot

by J. P. Comeau

  I drew in a few broken breaths before Brenden pulled back, forcing me to look into his determined stare. “I get it, fully and completely, Zane. But, it’s time you let yourself off the hook. Because if you don’t, you’re going to lose out on so much life still has to offer you. And you know damn good, and well Lindsay would never, ever be okay with that.”

  A tear fell against my cheek. “I miss her so damn much.”

  “I know you do. We all do. But, it’s time you told someone else about her. Maybe, someone you’ve started to care about? Hmmm?”

  My mind fell back to Karina and how hurt she must have felt.

  “I don't know if I can fix that,” I said.

  His hands dropped, and he stepped back. “Since when the hell did Zane Hearthstone ever say the words ‘I don’t know’?”

  I paused. “Do you happen to know when she’s heading out?”

  He smiled. “As a matter of fact, I do.”

  “When?”

  “When she can get packed up. And right now, as we speak, Roxy and Kelly are doing everything in their power to stall her. So, what do you say to all of us go out on the town again? Yeah?”

  I shook my head. “Not tonight. I don’t feel like it. I just want to get settled back into work and things like that.”

  “Didn’t you hear me? Karina’s going to be coming out with them tonight.”

  “If I know her like I think I do, she won't be dragged out either. She hated that night at the club almost as much as I did. And she won’t let Roxy or Kelly talk her into anything tonight.”

  He sighed. “Fine. Okay. But, if you need me, you know where to find me.”

  I nodded. “I do. Thanks.”

  I watched Brenden backtrack out of my office, then I walked over to the sprawling windows. I locked my hands behind my back and gazed out over the fruit trees and rose bushes in my backyard. My eyes fell over the gazebo in the distance. I cracked the window open and heard the babbling brook trickling beyond the expanse of the line of trees that started the wooded portion of my property. And as I stood there, everything rushed through my mind.

  Lindsay.

  Karina.

  How I felt about both of them.

  The night the accident happened.

  How I felt the moment I read Karina’s email.

  Grow a pair.

  “Brenden’s right,” I murmured.

  The thought of not having Karina around was worse than the fear of losing her. The idea that she’d leave and never come back made my palms sweat. It made my heart sink into my stomach. It made me nauseous, simply thinking about it. But, I had fucked up. I mean, I had really made a mess of the situation. How the hell was I going to make up for that?

  Do what you do best.

  And as I slowly turned back toward my computer, a lightbulb went off in my head.

  A lightbulb of an idea that just might work.

  25

  Karina

  The tape ripping across the cardboard boxes settled against my ears. That same sound clocked the hours as they ticked by. Time, after time, after time. Kelly and Roxy kept trying to distract me. They kept trying to get me out of the house. Out for dinner, or out for lunch, or out for a night on the town. Anything to keep me from continuing to pack. They thought they were clever, but I knew what they were doing. And while I told them I was leaving that day, I didn’t have plans to pack up a moving van for another week.

  All I wanted was some peace and quiet.

  I wiped away at the tears as they freely fell. Since I was alone, I didn’t feel the need to cover things up. The truth of the matter was, Zane had hurt me. I let him wiggle his way into my heart before shattering it into a million pieces. Whether it was payback for leaving him at my place alone or something else altogether, I didn’t know. Some might say I had it coming to me for being so vulnerable. Others would say my anger was justified.

  I didn’t really care to take a side.

  All I wanted to do was get home.

  I’d had all the adventure I needed for a lifetime. And I had enough of it under my belt to know the next place I’d target. Hawaii. Maybe they had a job out there I could take. Whether it was a secretarial position or another manufacturing plant, the possibilities were endless. The only thing that made me smile was thinking about the beauty of that place. The sound of that ocean. The smell of those flowers.

  I need to get back to Hawaii.

  My doorbell ringing ripped me from my trance, and I growled softly to myself.

  “Kelly! Roxy! I’m serious! Leave me alone!”

  The doorbell rang again before I heard footsteps scurrying off.

  “Damn it, girls. I need some peace and quiet!”

  I heard a car peeling away, and I rushed for the door. I ripped it open, and the smell of burnt rubber wafted as I squinted my eyes. I didn't recognize the car they were getting away in, but, for all I knew, it was another rental. Every time I saw those two, it was as if they were in a different vehicle. One, after another, with Daddy Dearest renting them whatever they wanted.

  My thoughts quickly faded away when I took a step out onto the porch, though.

  I felt something crunch beneath my feet.

  “What the--?”

  I looked down and saw something white poking out from beyond my tennis shoe. Bending down, I picked it up quickly realizing that it was some kind of a note. I shoved it into my pocket and stepped back inside. I couldn't be bothered with a note right then. I had to call my landlord and work something out. I had to contact Stonewater’s H.R. department and make sure they registered my resignation.

  Then, I had to continue working.

  Maybe just one peek, though.

  My curiosity got the best of me, and I pulled the note back out. But, the writing on the note wasn’t Roxy’s… or Kelly’s. In fact, it almost looked like…

  “Zane?”

  Put this on and meet me at the Venetian.

  Yep. Definitely Zane. And who was he to be making demands at that point?

  “Asshole,” I murmured.

  Wait. What is ‘this’ thing he’s talking about?

  I pulled my front door back open and saw a bag sitting on my porch. How I missed it, I’d never know. But, I quickly picked it up and took it inside. I rushed to my kitchen table, eager to open it. When I ripped all of the tissue paper out, I reached in to see what was hidden from sight.

  “Oh. My. God,” I gasped.

  I removed the beautiful black dress from its confines and gawked at it. The damn thing was the most incredible dress I’d ever seen. Off-the-shoulder, with a tight bodice and a glittering belt that wrapped around the waist. The fabric was the softest material I’d ever felt. It was like velvet mixed with silk. I held it to my cheek and softly rubbed it against my face. I held it up to my body, and it looked like the perfect size. He was so good at nailing my size.

  After pulling out beautiful black heels with those iconic red bottoms, I knew I’d never be able to resist an outfit like this.

  “Damn it,” I groaned.

  I looked back at the note and noticed it didn’t specify a time. So, I gathered everything up and rushed upstairs. After a quick shower and some dry shampoo, I piled my hair on top of my head. I slipped into the dress and eased my feet into the heels, marveling at myself in the mirror. Then, I reached into the very bottom of the bag and pulled out velvet box after velvet box of sparkling, gorgeous white gold jewelry.

  “All the stops, and then some,” I sighed.

  I twirled for myself in the mirror, then paused. Did I really want to go to that thing? Did I really want to meet up with the man that shattered my heart in one of the most beautiful places I’d ever seen? I mean, I had no idea what Zane was thinking. For all I knew, it was another one of his romantic gestures before tossing me into the trash can. And if I gave into it before getting burned again, I’d only have myself to blame for it.

  What if this is real, though?

  I cursed the hopeful part of me. It was that p
art of me that had always gotten me into trouble in my past. Hope that my boyfriend back in high school was telling the truth about our future got my heart shattered into bits once we graduated. Hope that my best friends would stick around after high school turned my world upside down once Roxy and Kelly went to Stanford. Hope that my life would finally get back on track was obliterated once the manufacturing plant I worked for was shut down without notice.

  Would that really be any different?

  What do you have, if you don’t have hope?

  My mother’s voice echoed off the corners of my mind, and it brought tears to my eyes. The tears grew heavy, and I had to wipe them off my face. I sniffled as I stood there, studying how beautifully the black dress framed my body. How shapely those heels made my legs. Even the jewelry accented things about me I hadn’t noticed. Like, how long my neck really was, how dainty my ears were, and how petite my wrists had become.

  “Ah, damn it,” I hissed.

  I snatched up my purse and made my way for the front door. After looking up the address for the Venetian, I plugged it into my phone’s GPS. Pulling out of the parking lot, I drove slowly, keeping one eye on the road and the other on my map directions. Finally, I arrived at the place where Italy met America.

  “Wow,” I whispered.

  The cream-colored and pale-yellow outside boasted an ornate face clock that counted down the time until I’d be burned again. The black wrought iron railing that separated the Venetian’s bridge from the river beneath called to people who still believed in romance. I passed couples kissing and taking pictures of themselves together. I passed by an elderly man presenting a lone, beautiful rose to the love of his life. I made my way inside and was greeted with the smells of freshly-baked bread and olives. Smells that carried me into a place I’d never visited before.

  Then, I heard my name.

  “Miss Karina Rosehill?”

  I slowly turned my head. “Yes?”

  A man in a black suit walked up. “If you will, please follow me.”

  I furrowed my brow as my heels clicked behind the man in the all-black suit. Now, I was convinced more than ever that it was Zane. But why? What in the world was he up to? I slid my purse up my shoulder and clutched it tightly. I drew in deep breaths, preparing my speech as the man led me outside.

  I followed him all the way down to a lone gondola.

  “After you,” the man said.

  He held out his hand for me, and I gladly took it. I didn’t see Zane anywhere, and I had to admit that it made me feel better about things. The man helped me into the boat, and I sat down on the small bench inside as I gazed around Vegas’ rendition of Venice. The gondola took off, and my eyes jumped from building to building. People waved at me from the window of their hotel rooms, and I watched as others sipped on everything from wine slushies to cream sodas.

  The sound of the water that parted away from the gondola took me back to Hawaii. I lost myself so much in the world around me that I didn’t even think to look up.

  Until I heard his voice.

  “Her name was Lindsay.”

  I jumped at the sound of Zane’s voice as my eyes whipped up. He was standing behind me, paddling the boat. It was him standing at the helm of the thing, maneuvering us softly down the waterway.

  “Zane,” I said breathlessly.

  “My ex’s name was Lindsay, and we were together for three years before I proposed.”

  I decided not to say anything and just let the man have his say since he had gone to great lengths to get my attention for one last time.

  “She was perfect for me in so many ways. And, in some other ways, completely wrong. But, we worked at things, and we made things better between us. One of the things we did together was purchasing my vacation home in Hawaii. She loved that place, Karina. Lindsay was in love with Hawaii, and even had dreams of us retiring early and living out our years there.”

  I nodded. “It sounds so magical.”

  “It was. She was. But, one night I decided to do an old-fashioned date. Something romantic, you know? I gave my driver the night off and went to pick her up. I had reservations for us at this steakhouse she adored, then I had plans for us to have dessert on my plane while flying to Italy. She always wanted to see Italy.”

  “That sounds so romantic, Zane.”

  He stopped paddling, letting the water current take us.

  “After the steakhouse, we were driving to the tarmac. She was full of wine and laughter, and happiness. And she got a little handsy with me. Not a lot. But, just enough to be distracting. Just enough for me to take my eyes off the road and look over at her. To drink in her beauty, you know.”

  I didn’t know where the story was going, but I knew it wasn’t good.

  “Then, it happened,” he said.

  “What happened, Zane?”

  His eyes stared off. “The drunk driver just came out of nowhere, Karina.”

  “My God,” I whispered.

  “He came out of nowhere, and I tried all I could. I steered her side of the car out of the way. I tried to speed up and get around the cascading vehicle. I even tried bracing my arm against her chest so she couldn't go anywhere. But, none of it worked. I walked away, and she was dead before the car stopped rolling. My beautiful, sweet, amazing fiancee, lifeless, with her eyes wide open.”

  I blinked back tears. “I’m so sorry, Zane.”

  He shook his head. “I owe you the greatest of apologies, Karina. What I’ve done to you is wrong. Every time I feel like I’m getting close to you, I also feel like I’m doing her memory a disservice. Like I’m cheating on Lindsay, you know?”

  “Of course. You loved her. And she’ll always be part of you because of that.”

  Then, he finally shifted his eyes and looked at me.

  “My God, you look amazing,” he said.

  I smiled softly. “Thank you. You pick out very nice outfits.”

  He sighed. “I’ve walked in fear ever since, Karina. Every time I get close to someone, I wonder when I’m going to lose them. And then, that fight or flight kicks in, and I figure--.”

  “It’s easier to walk away than be walked away from.”

  He nodded slowly. “The night I was supposed to meet you for our date, her sister called.”

  “Lindsay’s sister?”

  “Mhm. She called, and she was a wreck. And we were in Hawaii. I started scrolling through my laptop, looking at pictures. I stumbled upon her eulogy, Karina. The eulogy I read at a funeral that should have never happened. And I just…”

  I hung onto every word. “Where did you go that night? Instead of the bar?”

  He sniffled. “The vacation house. I lost track of time. All of it. It was like I was in a trance. And by the time I looked at a clock, it was three in the morning. I’m so sorry, Karina. I never should have--.”

  “Zane, stop.”

  He swallowed hard, but he didn’t say anything else.

  “That’s why you’re so obsessed with work.”

  “Yes,” he whispered.

  “That’s why you keep everyone at arm’s length.”

  “It is.”

  “I’m sure if she loved you the way you loved her, though, she’d want you to be happy. I’m sure she wouldn't approve of this shell of a man you’ve become. I know that would make her sad. It would make anyone sad. Hell, it makes me sad, and I hardly know you.”

  Then, his eyes met mine again. “I can’t lose you, Karina.”

  I blinked. “What?”

  He stepped off his platform and came to crouch in front of me.

  “I can’t lose you. I can’t bear to lose someone else. Especially someone I--.”

  I held my breath as he took my hand.

  “I have to let go of what happened to Lindsay. And I’m not saying it’ll happen overnight. She's always going to be a part of me. My late fiancee influenced me in so many ways. Just like your ex in high school influenced you. But I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to go home. Stay wi
th me in Vegas. Take your job back. Give me one more chance to treat you the way you deserve. Both in a personal and a professional atmosphere.”

  My heart slammed against my chest. “No more standing me up?”

  “Never again. You have my word.”

  “No more fucking me and then forgetting me?”

  He grimaced. “I’ve been an asshole, and I’ll apologize every single day for the rest of the year if it helps.”

  “Actually, I’d like something else if I’m going to come back.”

  He sat beside me. “You name it beautiful.”

  “Every day, until you’ve processed this, I want to hear a story about Lindsay.”

  He blinked. “What?”

  I cupped his cheek. “I know what it takes to get over the loss of someone. And it sounds like, in some respects, you haven’t processed what happened. That has to happen first before we can do anything. I’m sure you know that.”

  “Please don’t leave me.”

  My heart was full. “I’m not. I’ll stay. If you agree to that one condition.”

  “So, you’re staying?”

  I nodded. “If you agree to that, yes.”

  He smiled. “Okay, then. One story about Lindsay every day until we can work through it. Over lunch together? In my office?”

  I smiled with him. “I’d love nothing more, Zane.”

  As he leaned forward, his lips capturing my own, I felt my worries fade away. I felt my insecurities fall to the floor. I felt my heart rebuild itself, and I felt my gut loosen from the fear that had gripped it for days. I wrapped my arms around Zane’s neck as he pulled me into his lap. People cheered from the bridge as we rode slowly beneath it, the shadows temporarily cloaking us from the rest of the world.

  I knew I loved that man. For better, and for worse.

  And if he could admit that he needed time to fix himself, then I had the time to give him.

  I would give him anything, so long as I had him in my life.

  Epilogue

  Zane

  One Year Later

  I jiggled my leg as I sat at the bar, gazing out over the waters. A little over a year before, I sat there with a beautiful woman. She had long, dark brown hair that reflected the honey-colored rays of the sun. A woman who held the most gorgeous emerald green eyes I’d ever seen. Eyes that sucked me into a world I never thought was possible for me again. The ocean waves sloshed lazily around as if to applaud me for my efforts.