by Carl Hamlin
Opening up to Gerald about her desire for being spanked had turned out to be a change in the relationship that had more than one side. She was ecstatic that for the first time in her life he had a loving partner with whom she could engage in the spanking play she had always fantasized about.
Somehow, the fulfillment of those desires had taken an unexpected turn. Now she was facing the prospect of a serious and real paddling. She found herself trembling, and tears running down her cheeks. She had originated the whole concept however, and she knew why: down deep inside, she wanted her self- critical behavior to come to an end. As she lay in bed wondering why an educated and accomplished woman of her age was not able to cease such behavior, she was frustrated at the highest level.
She imagined herself in the vulnerable position of again being across Gerald’s knees, or on the table, perhaps even bending over, or whatever configuration or scenario Gerald chose was fitting. In any case, Gerald would be applying painful whacks of the paddle to her upturned and bare bottom. And it was her idea. As she closed her eyes once again and finally drifted off to sleep, she accepted that it was her idea because she knew that nothing else would have the same prospect of success. She also knew that it was unlikely she could avoid slipping up in the near future. She wondered how well she would be able to sleep on her stomach.
Lindsay and Gerald knew when they married that they would face weeks like the one that was commencing on Monday morning. Gerald was heading for Chicago spent three days at a literary conference. He would be speaking to a room full of aspiring writers on the first day, conducting personal consultations with writers who were newly published on the second day, then serving on a panel discussion on the craft of writing crime fiction for the final session. Before coming home, he would be spending two additional days away while holding book signings in the Chicago and Milwaukee metropolitan areas.
Lindsay was flying out that Monday evening so that she could appears guess the next morning at a seminar in Los Angeles devoted to the proper way to select dividend-paying stocks for a retirement portfolio. She was going to be taping a segment for a PBS station doing a program on how the elderly should manage their investments. She had also arranged to do a book signing of her own in Phoenix, to promote her most recent book on the volatility of corporate bonds in an era of changing interest rates.
She always missed Gerald when they were apart, as much as he missed her. She missed his companionship, their conversations, his smile and sense of humor. Undeniably, she missed the sex she so enjoyed with Gerald. She knew that she was not typical in this day and age at having been a virgin yet at 43. However, that fact combined with the reality that she and Gerald had only been married for two years, brought her the emotions and desires she assumed were experienced by many women in their 20s.
She was looking forward to the coming weekend, as it was one of those unusual weekends when the band had no bookings. She would be arriving home on Friday, and Gerald on Saturday afternoon. That Saturday evening, they would attend a cookout on the other side of Trenton, at the home of Patricia Powers, the woman who had been seated in the coffee shop with Lindsay on the day she met Gerald.
Her interesting relationship with Patricia had been steadfast, although Patricia had left the business world when she married and became the instant mother of three stepchildren. She decided to forgo her own career path, so that she could devote herself to trying to fill the void in the lives of three little girls who had lost her mother years earlier in an auto accident.
Lindsay and Patricia no longer got to see each other as often as they would have liked, but check in touch through phone calls, e-mails, and texting. That weekend, their eight-month drought the face-to-face contact with come to an end.
It helped that Gerald enjoy being with Patricia and her husband Michael. He was a software engineer who earned enough money to support everyone without Patricia having to work.
The only glitch in the friendship between Lindsay and Patricia was the same one that complicated Lindsay’s relationship with Gerald. Patricia was Lindsay’s best friend, but she had a history with Lindsay’s ongoing dissatisfaction with her figure. It was a minor fissure in the friendship, but recurrent. Patricia found Lindsay’s self-deprecating comments a touch more prickly due to the fact that she herself possessed a figure and weight problem identical to that of Lindsay.
Patricia knew that Lindsay would never intentionally say anything to hurt her feelings. She had accepted long ago that Lindsay had a hang-up about her extra pounds that was deeply entrenched. She also knew that Lindsay wanted to get rid of that little plague of a complex. Still, when Lindsay complained about her proportions, Patricia could not help but feel that she was being slightly rubbed raw, in sharing the same bodily characteristics.
Through the years, each had seen each other be the focus of frequent male attention. The difference was that Patricia knew that she was attractive and understood why men wanted her. She could never comprehend why Lindsay did not understand. One thing that Patricia never told Lindsay however was a she considered Lindsay to be prettier, and much more attractive. She always told herself that although they were friends, not rivals, there was no reason to go to such excess in her attempts at reassurance.
On a rainy Saturday afternoon, Lindsay received a text from Patricia. It was already raining hard, and the forecast was for even heavier rain the rest of the day. The cookout had been scratched in favor of having pizza delivered, to the delight of the three Powers daughters.
Lindsay had also received a text from Gerald, telling her that his flight had been delayed. He was expecting to get home just in time to take a shower and get dressed before they would have to leave for Patricia’s house. Lindsay had concocted her own scheme for welcoming Gerald home, involving that oversized antique bathtub. She would have to forgo her desire to have Gerald alleviate her persistent state of arousal that had begun in the morning, until the late evening. In disappointment, she took a bath alone, then nearly lost track of time as she soaked, then had to get dressed quickly and head for her friend’s home
Gerald sat with Michael Powers in adjacent chairs, watching in amusement as the three girls took up the middle of the family room with a game of Monopoly. Scattered around the room were three nearly empty pizza boxes and empty soda cans. Gerald was finally starting to relax after his chaotic day. Even after he had notified Lindsay that his flight was being delayed, he had to text her once again to tell her that the weather had forced a second delay. He told her to go ahead to the Powers home, and he would arrive as soon as possible. He had arrived at the house an hour after Lindsay, but was finally now able to wind down and enjoy himself.
Even as he spoke with Michael, Gerald could not take his eyes off the lovely vision of Lindsay sitting on a sofa a few feet away, chatting energetically with Patricia. She was wearing a blue satin shift dress, one that revealed her legs far above her knees when she was sitting. He always found himself amused at how he could so frequently see a woman in the nude and frequently make love to her, and still be so entranced by seeing her in a low cut dress, or one that would significantly reveal her legs, such as with the dress she was wearing that evening.
In any case, his imagination was active as he tried to carry on a cordial conversation with Michael, while it is true attention was devoted to the scene on the sofa. He knew that they would not be staying late at the Powers home, the family was planning to leave on vacation early the next morning. As 8:30 neared, she noticed a subtle nod from Lindsay, a signal that she also realized the family would need to turn in early ahead of the road trip.
The three girls had already said good night and were sent off to bed. Lindsay and Gerald casually made their way toward the door, as Gerald and Michael watched the women still conversing, Patricia mentioned that it was unfortunate that the rain had been so heavy and they could not enjoy the back patio. She added that they had just had a swimming pool installed one month earlier, and suggested that they get back together with a f
ew other couples, and have a pool party.
Lindsay was regretting her response, even as it was leaving her lips: “Oh, no thanks…… I’m not showing off my plump butt in a swimsuit around strangers.”
As soon as she had said the words, her glance jerked immediately toward Gerald, who was then standing with a solemn expression of a downward cast of his glance. Attempting to take the comment in stride, Patricia forced a laugh and reached back and patted herself on her bottom. She shrugged: “Doesn’t bother me, any.” She forced another nonchalant laugh: “I just love getting in the pool.”
Lindsay attempted to act as if it were just another flippant comment from her. She gave Patricia a hug and a kiss and thanked her for having them over, then turned to Michael and gave him a hug. When she once again fixed her gaze on Gerald, his still downcast expression told her all that she needed to know.
Lindsay and Gerald said goodbye once more, and when they walked out the front door, they hesitated under the canopy that shielded the entrance from bad weather. They stood together in silence for a moment, then Lindsay looked up at Gerald with a tear running down her face. “Okay. I know… I wonder… uhm, I wonder if you could give me a little bit of a head start. I would like to uhm… I would like to… oh, gosh!” Lindsay leaned her head against his chest, and when she raised it she was wiping tears in both eyes. “I would like to be ready for when you get home.”
Gerald took her by the shoulders, the look of sadness still on his face. “I guess I can do that. I need to stop by the post office and check my box. And, I’ll stop by the store and pick up a couple of things. I’ll take my time. Babe, I’m not looking forward to this.”
Lindsay seemed to have a perplexed look on her face. “I’m not sure how I feel about what’s going to happen at home this evening, but it has to happen. I need for it to happen, and I want it to happen. But most of all, don’t you dare go weak in the knees on me. You can’t back down. Remember, once again, it was my idea. Now, I’m going to go home and get ready. You know how I am. Even this, we may as well do it up right.”
Gerald’s mind was swirling in a combination of anxiety, regret and concern as he pulled into the parking lot at the post office. He walked inside, unlocked the box, and pulled out several parcels. One in particular caught his eye, and his mind began to race.
Back in the car and heading for the store, the emotions were stirring him again. One emotion that he could not deny was in the mix was that of eagerness. At the moment, he would have given anything to not be feeling even that slight touch of pleasurable anticipation at the prospect of giving his adorable, sweet and endlessly sexy wife a painful, long paddling.
He felt as if he were of his wit’s end and in trying to break her of making such comments about herself. He always knew that he could try and convince himself that it was simply part of Lindsay, something that would never change, so he would just have to live with it. However, each time he had made that speech to himself, he was overwhelmed with sadness as such a wonderful lady held such negative feelings that were directed inward.
He strolled the aisles of the small neighborhood market, picking up a variety of items for the kitchen and bathrooms, but really just killing time. When the lights flashed and an announcement came over the speakers that the store was preparing for its 9:00 o’clock closing, he decided that Lindsay had been provided with at least 30 minutes of time alone in the house, and it would take him another 15 minutes to arrive there.
As Gerald pulled up in the driveway, the house appeared totally dark. He pulled into the garage and closed the door and then stood silent for a moment. There were no sounds to be heard. He picked up the small bag from the store and gathered up the parcels from his post office box.
However, when he opened the door from the garage into the kitchen, he at first barely heard the recorded sounds of Lindsay’s soft and sultry rendition of Constant Craving. She had presented him with a digital recording as a teasing and suggestive little wedding present. He so loved hearing her sing that song that he had transferred the recording to his computer, programmed it to play in a constant loop, then connected it to the speaker system that had been installed throughout the home, in every room. He closed the door to the garage and stood for a moment listening to the provocative, yearning ballad. Whenever he listened to the song, knowing that it was Lindsay’s voice and Lindsay’s heart and desire being shared, it nearly sent him over the edge with desire for her.
Gerald then walked to the kitchen as the nearly imperceptible love song washed over him and through his veins. He quietly placed the parcels in the small bag on the counter. He had a rather settled notion as to what he expected to find. He just was not sure as to where. He walked from the kitchen door that led to the living. However the living room was dark and silent. Still, all the blinds and curtains in the living room were closed, and then Gerald realized the same was true of the kitchen.
He stood for a moment in a combination of amusement and apprehension for what was about to take place when he finally found just where Lindsay was awaiting him and what he was committed to providing for her. That was when he remembered a comment she made, when they had discussed the distinct and stark reality Lindsay was facing.
Chapter 6
Taking a deep breath, Gerald began to walk slowly toward the dining room. As he approached, he could detect an aroma of scented candles, and then noticed the flickering light coming through the door to the room. As silently as possible, he stepped into the doorway of the dining room, then stopped to comprehend the scene.
Lindsay apparently did not realize that he was standing a few feet away but to her rear. She was on the dining room table, as Gerald expected. It appeared that she had placed the massage cushion beneath a white sheet, as he always did when he prepared to give her a rubdown. Candles burned in different places around the room, but none were on the table itself. Still, the flickering wicks gave off enough light for what was about to happen. Most of all, they illuminated his lovely Lindsay in that little silky black nightie, laying over the wedge pillow, but with an additional pillow placed under her waist to increase the angle at which she was bent over. In a final touch to signify her resolve to accept what she had agreed to, the paddle was waiting for Gerald, teetering on her upturned bare bottom that was only half covered by the sheer, thin black fabric.
Walking silently across the carpeted floor, Gerald walked to the end of the table where Lindsay’s head was resting on a small pillow. She jumped from being startled when she saw his hand reached for the back of the chair in front of her, so that he could sit down and speak to her face-to-face. He decided to leave the paddle in place on her bottom until it was time to use it on her.
As soon as he had sat down, Lindsay raised her head to face him, and rested her chin on her hands. Gerald then noticed that there was a box of tissues and a candle within her reach on the table, so he took one from the box and began to dry the tears that were already running down her cheeks. Next, he leaned forward and placed a kiss on each of those cheeks.
Lindsay sighed. “I guess I really did it this time, didn’t I?”
Gerald nodded. “Afraid so, Babe”.
Lindsay took the tissue from Gerald’s hand and dabbed at tears that were starting to run down her face. “And I know I hurt Patty’s feelings.”
Gerald hesitated. “I really can’t speak to that.”
Lindsay began to sniffle. “You know I did.”
Gerald shrugged. “I guess so.”
He cleared his throat, and seemed to become quite emotional. “I just don’t understand it. I was sitting there talking to Michael, but all I could really concentrate on was how hot you looked, sitting there on that sofa with that dress creeping up your legs, reminding me again just how gorgeous you are. Then, you go and say….” His voice trailed away, he never finished the statement. But he did not have to, for Lindsay fully understood what he was saying.
Lindsay’s voice trembled as she spoke again. “Are you going to start right now
?”
Gerald nodded. “No need to put it off. It won’t get any easier for either of us if we wait.”
Gerald leaned forward and they kissed. Lindsay took a deep breath, and the tears began to flow. “Gerald, promise me something?”
“What’s that?”
“When… uh, I mean, this is crazy for me to say, but when you think I’ve already had as much as you think I deserve, that’s when it’s time to keep going, because when you finish up, I want you to give me a few with an extra measure of ‘ouch’ in them for saying that to Patricia, of all people.”
Gerald hesitated for a moment, and Lindsay thought that he was struggling to conceal a grin. “Actually, Babe, I think I can easily accommodate that wish. I haven’t opened the box yet, but I think another surprise came in the mail today.”
Lindsay felt her pulse begin to race, and the fluttering that was already in her abdomen intensified. Gerald reached forward and ran his hand over her cheek. “Remember the other day when you saw our paddle for the first time, and you’ve made that smart remark about how maybe I should get a bigger paddle?”
Lindsay visibly gulped, but also playfully batted her eyes and muttered, “Oooohoo, yikes. You didn’t.”
Gerald nodded his head up and down very slowly. “You bet your ass I did, pun definitely intended.” He flashed a wicked and unnerving smile at Lindsay. “At least, I think that’s what’s in one of the boxes I picked up tonight. You know how much I like eBay.” Then, Gerald rose from the chair, but leaned down. “When it’s time to finish you off, I’ll sit back down and you can watch me open it.”
He began to step away, but then halted again. “One more thing. I was kind of taken by surprise to walk in and hear you singing Constant Craving.”