by B. B. Hamel
I kept seeing Tanner kill Bennigan like it was nothing.
I knew he was a killer. I knew what he did for a living. But I hadn’t seen it up close yet. I hadn’t seen him actually stand there and end another person’s life like it was no big thing. It sent horrified shivers down my spine and made me want to throw up.
We stopped at another corner and he threw the second gun down a drain.
Sirens shouted in the distance.
He took me on a circuitous route. We walked past drunks coming out of bars, packs of young men stumbling from one house party to the next, girls with glazed eyes and high heels laughing in flocks of ten or more. He took me to Rittenhouse and paused just outside the hotel.
“How bad do I look?” he asked.
I blinked at him and tried to focus. “Bad,” I said.
“The shoulder’s not as bad as it looks,” he said. “Shot grazed me. Cut deep, might need stitches, but there’s nothing left in me.”
“That’s… good.”
“We’re going in,” he said. “We need to get cleaned up. You need to get to bed.”
“Bed?” I almost laughed. “How am I supposed to sleep?”
“What you saw—” He stopped himself and cleared his throat. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to do that without you. I’m sorry you saw it.”
“But I did see it,” I said. “How am I supposed to get that out of my head? You… you killed him.”
“I killed a very bad man,” he said. “A man that wanted to hurt you. If I hadn’t done that, you’d be dead. Do you understand?”
I nodded, but it didn’t sink in. I still felt numb. I felt like I was floating, half drunk, half high.
“I’m still scared,” I said.
“Adrenaline. It’ll wear off.” He took my hand. “Just keep walking, okay? Smile at the front desk woman. Walk on my right side so she can’t see me that well.”
“Right. Okay.” I let him position me how he wanted then we headed in through the front doors.
It was a young man behind the front desk. He wore glasses, had dark shaggy hair, a soft pudgy face, and an ill-fitting suit. He was staring at a computer screen and typing feverishly. He barely looked up as we walked past.
The elevator arrived with a ding. We rode it in silence.
Back in the room, he stripped and gently prodded at his arm. “Not bad,” he said. “Not too bad.” He ripped his shirt into strips and tied them around the arm. “I think I’ll be fine.”
His face looked like pulp. His eyes would be black and bruised again in the morning.
I barely felt it as he tugged me into the bedroom. He took off my top, took off my pants. I let him pull me into bed.
The covers felt like an oven around my skin.
“Sleep,” he said. “Shower in the morning. Brush your teeth. Get up and drink coffee. We’ll talk about what happened when you’re not in shock anymore.”
“Shock?” I asked. Then, “You just tucked me in.”
“I know,” he said and smiled. “You need someone to tuck you in right now. You need someone to take care of you.”
“Bennigan’s really gone.” I curled into a ball. “Does that mean it’s over?”
“No,” he said, and I could hear the sadness in his voice. “The Leone family will send another. They have plenty of money and there are other killers looking for work. Bennigan was better than most, though, so whoever they send next won’t be as big of a problem. But it’s still not over.”
I nodded against the pillow and squeezed my eyes shut.
I could still see Tanner standing over Bennigan in the darkness. I could see the flash of the muzzle.
I could still smell the copper tang of blood deep in my nostrils.
“Try to sleep,” he said.
“Can you stay?” I asked, feeling dizzy and insane. “Please.”
He hesitated then climbed into bed next to me. He still had his pants and shoes on. He looked exhausted, rumpled, dirty, bloody. “I’ll stay until you sleep,” he said. “Then I need to clean myself off.”
“Thank you.”
I didn’t know why I wanted him there. I was afraid of him as much as I wanted to be around him.
But I felt dizzy and horrified, like my world was splitting at the seams. And I just wanted someone to be close to me, to try to comfort me.
And he was the father of my unborn child.
That had to count for something.
I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t think I could fall asleep. My head moved in anxious dizzy circles.
But soon everything dimmed, and I drifted off.
20
Tanner
I managed a few hours of rough sleep on the couch before the sun rose and woke me up. My shoulder ached from where Bennigan’s bullet ripped through skin. My face felt like a pulped chicken. I wanted to dunk my head in an ice bath and leave it there for days.
But I had work to do.
I pulled on clean clothes and slipped into the hallway. My shoulder had stopped bleeding, which was good. I’d have a nasty scar, but I didn’t need stitches, at least I didn’t think so.
I got lucky back there. It was dark and Bennigan was rushing his shot, which is the only reason we survived. I think I hit him when I fired back, but I didn’t stick around to find out. The fight was brutal and quick, and I just barely managed to get the upper hand again. I hated myself for getting surprised like that, but at least we survived.
I wasn’t sure how Elise would handle it, though.
She was pretty far gone when we got back to the hotel. Her eyes were glazed and I could tell she was deep in shock. I wanted to give her a bath but I didn’t think she was up for it. I stayed in bed until she fell in a deep sleep then cleaned myself off before curling up on the couch like I normally did.
What a goddamn night.
I took the elevator down the lobby and smiled at the front desk guy. He was still on duty, the same chubby pale guy from the night before, though I suspected his shift was almost over. He had a faraway look in his dark eyes.
I stepped outside. An old woman walking two aggressive Westies gave me a glare. I smiled back then looked down at my phone.
I called Dante. The line rang then went to voicemail. I called a second time, and he picked up, sounding pissed.
“What?” he said. “It’s early as fuck. This better be good.”
“Hello, Dante,” I said.
He was quiet for a beat. “Tanner.” He cleared his throat. “What are you calling me for?”
“I saw Bennigan last night,” I said.
Another pause. “And?”
“And Bennigan is very much dead.”
He groaned. “Goddamn it, Tanner.”
“What did you expect me to do?” I asked. “The idiot was hell-bent on finishing the job. He came after us and I defended myself.”
“You know this is only going to make shit harder, right?”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I said as I strolled into the park. I smiled at a homeless guy that was just waking up. He smiled back and was missing several teeth.
“Explain what you mean.”
“Well, I killed the only guy in this city that could even slightly give me a run for my money,” I said. “So from here on out, it’s just a long list of losers. Sure, maybe a few desperate idiots will take the contract, but eventually they’ll all give up. You know how it goes, killers like killing, but not getting killed.”
“Deep,” Dante said.
“You’re going to run out of hitmen eventually.”
“I can send my whole fucking crew after you,” he said.
“And I can disappear,” I said. “Pick you off, one by one. You think I can’t? I think you know I’m capable of it.”
“Not with that girl dragging you down.”
“She’s smarter than you realize,” I said. “She can handle it.”
“I doubt that.”
“Dante, why are you doing this?”
He grunted and I could hear the frustration. “Don Leone isn’t interested in a deal,” he said.
The words hit home. I almost staggered to the side. I had to stop walking and watch my breath as an old man in a flat cap strolled past with his hands clasped behind his back.
“What did you say?”
“The Don doesn’t want to deal,” he said. “And I don’t think Drago’s much interested in dealing, either. The families want a fight, Tanner, and you’re caught in the middle.”
“Fuck that,” I said. “Why would they want a war? Dead bodies won’t profit anyone. It’ll just bring the cops down.”
“Don thinks he owns the cops,” Dante said.
“Does he?”
“Mostly,” Dante admitted. “But not enough.”
“You think they should deal,” I said.
“I didn’t say that.”
“I can hear it in your fucking voice. You think this is as stupid as I do.”
Another pause, and this one pregnant with meaning.
“Look, what I think doesn’t matter,” Dante said. “I don’t matter. You get that, right? In the end, it’s whatever the Don wants.”
“Convince him otherwise,” I said.
“I tried.”
“Try again. Bennigan’s dead, and I’m going to start coming after you guys next if you can’t figure this shit out.”
“Tanner—”
“No, Dante, you listen to me.” I felt my anger roll over me like righteous fury. I wanted to burn this fucking city down.
I’d given good work and lots of time and energy to those bastards, I killed men for them, I made their problems disappear. And now they wanted to hunt me down like a dog all for some petty, foolish war that nobody really wanted or needed, except for the old men that wouldn’t actually do any fighting.
“I’m listening,” Dante said, voice soft.
“I’m sick of old men acting like they still fight in the street,” I said. “I’m sick of you people pushing me around because you think you can. I’m not going to roll over and give you the girl. So sooner or later I’m going to come for you, for your guys, and for the Don. You know I can do it, I’ve shown you that over and over again. I’m very good at killing, Dante.”
“I know you are,” he said.
Was that a hint of fear in his voice? It made a smile spread across my face.
“So talk to your Don,” I said. “If you cherish your family, your men’s lives, and your Don’s continued existence, you tell him to make a fucking deal.”
“Threats aren’t smart, Tanner. Your back’s against a wall here.”
“And your executioners are dead. Who’s going to stand between you and me now?”
I hung up the phone. I was tempted to smash it. But I didn’t have to throw a tantrum.
I slipped it into my pocket and continued on my way.
I bought coffee from a bored-looking girl in a barista uniform. I got myself a flat white and a cappuccino for Elise. I trudged back through the park with a drink in either hand, whistling softly to myself.
The front desk guy was gone, replaced by a smiling brunette.
“Good morning,” she said.
“Morning,” I said.
And she grimaced when she saw my face. I smiled even bigger.
The elevator ride up was quiet. I sipped my coffee as I walked down the hall and paused outside the door to get out my room key. I barged into the living room, almost dropped my coffee, got myself together. I put both drinks down in the coffee table and stretched.
The bedroom door was open a crack.
I frowned at it. I thought I’d closed it last night. Maybe Elise was up and had gone looking for me.
I pushed open the door and peered inside.
The bed was empty. The covers were thrown back. The bathroom was dark.
“Elise?”
Nothing. No response.
I went inside. Nothing on the bed, nothing in the bathroom. My heart nearly skipped a beat. She was gone, but that made no sense. Bennigan was dead, we’d be safe for a while. We could do whatever we wanted while we waited for the Leone family to give in and make a deal.
Or I could go start hunting them down and force them to give up.
Either way, we were going to win. It was only a matter of time.
Maybe she just went for a walk. Or maybe she just went to get coffee.
I went back into the main room and that was when I saw a piece of paper tucked next to the phone. I walked over, hands shaking.
It was a note. I picked it up and stared at the words.
Tanner— I’m pregnant. It’s yours. I’m sorry. Elise.
I read them over and over before I let the page float down to the floor, slipped out from between my fingers.
Pregnant, she’s pregnant, oh my god, she’s pregnant.
I’m going to be a father.
And now she was gone.
21
Elise
I felt numb as I trudged down the block with my bag slung over my shoulder. I had my hands shoved into the pocket of a big hooded sweatshirt. I had on a pair of small shorts and my legs felt cold in the brisk early morning wind.
I tried not to think. I didn’t want to think. I wanted my mind to stay blank as much as possible.
When I woke up this morning, Tanner was gone. He didn’t leave a note, but all his things were still there, so I figured he went out for breakfast or coffee. I went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face, then stared at myself in the mirror.
And knew what I had to do.
I left that second. I grabbed all my stuff and left. I was so scared as I ran down the steps and hustled out of the lobby. I practically ran south down Twentieth Street, heart racing the whole time. I ran until I was ten blocks away, and I could be sure Tanner wouldn’t catch me, not yet at least.
I had some money. I had my clothes.
But I had nowhere else to go.
So I got a cab and gave him my father’s address.
I wanted to die the whole ride over, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was pregnant, and the father of my child was a killer. I couldn’t just stay in that hotel room and wait for something to change. Nothing was going to change. Tanner was a monster, and he’d drag me down into his darkness if I let him.
I had to do something. My father raised a child once, so maybe he’d know what to do. It was stupid, I knew. My father was as bad as Tanner or maybe worse. I wasn’t going to find safety with him, not the safety I desperately craved.
But it was better than staying with a murderer.
The cabbie dropped me off at the mouth of the alley. I paid in cash then hurried down the cobbled street. I stopped outside my father’s door and knocked.
He didn’t answer. I knocked again, and again, and again. An old woman came out of a door two houses down and gave me a dirty look as she pulled a ratty old jacket around her shoulders. I stared at her then knocked again.
“OKAY,” my dad yelled from inside. “Shut the fuck up. Who the fuck is—”
He pulled open the door and stared at me.
“Hi, Dad,” I said.
“Elise.” He let out a laugh. “Shit. I didn’t know it was you.”
“It’s okay. It’s early.”
“Yeah, I was sleeping still.” He grinned at me, ruffled his hair. He wore a pair of pajama pants and an old white t-shirt. “You want to come in?”
“Please,” I said.
He stepped aside and let me in.
I dropped my bag on the couch. He lingered near the door, looked both ways outside, then shut it behind me.
“Where’s the guy?” he asked.
“Tanner?” I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
“You left him, huh.” Dad cocked his head. “You okay?”
“I think so,” I said, looking around his place. “He made a deal with you, right?”
“About that guy, Bennigan, yeah. Look, sweetie, I just want—”
“Bennigan’s d
ead,” I said. “I watched Tanner kill him last night.”
Dad stood still and didn’t speak for a long moment then sighed. He nodded his head. “Come on. I’ll make coffee.”
He led me into the kitchen and sat me down at the table. He busied himself brewing coffee and making some eggs. I stared at the chipped wooden table and shifted in the old padded chair. It didn’t match the table or the other chairs, but it was comfortable.
“Here,” he said, and put coffee down in front of me.
I sipped it black. It was strong and dark and hot. It woke me up, at least a little bit.
Dad finished the eggs, just like he used to make them when I was a kid, and put them on two plates with toast. I didn’t touch the food, but it was nice, and I could almost pretend like things were okay and I was a little girl again.
“Did you watch it happen?” he asked.
I nodded. I stared at my black coffee.
“Hell of a thing,” he said, “seeing that happen.”
“You’d know, right?”
He nodded. “I would,” he said. “I guess I don’t have to hide from you anymore.”
“You never did hide very well.”
He snorted and shrugged. “What can I say, kid? I’m in a hard business.”
“Tanner is too. And now I’m caught in the middle.”
“You should’ve come to me sooner. Tanner’s a dangerous guy, way more dangerous than I am.”
“Tanner’s not starting a war.” I didn’t know why I was defending him. I wanted to get away from Tanner after what I saw last night. I was too afraid to stay with him, especially if I was pregnant. I couldn’t let my baby grow up with a killer.
“I know it looks bad to you, but it’s business,” Dad said.
“Why’s your business have to get people killed?”
“It hasn’t yet,” he said. “Except for that hitman. So far, nobody else has gotten hurt.”
“That can’t be true. The Leone family wouldn’t come after me if you hadn’t hit them first.”
He hesitated then shrugged. “I guess that’s exactly what they’re doing.”