What A Wicked Duke Demands (Historical Regency Romance)

by Emily Honeyfield

  Hermia didn’t need a governess. What she needed was guidance and someone to talk to. Someone of her own age. Beth had wanted to be that person.

  Hopefully, Gerard would also be able to give her a companion instead of a governess. Punishing her would just be detrimental to the girl. Beth hoped he realized that sooner rather than later. She wasn’t going to try and get it into his stubborn head now.

  Washing and dressing, Beth headed out of her room and downstairs to the schoolroom. She wasn’t hungry, her stomach churning over and over. She just wanted to get on with her work, anything to stop herself from thinking about her current situation. If she stopped, Beth knew she was going to burst into tears.

  The schoolroom was set up with the day’s lesson on the board when the door opened and Isabel and Rosamund came trudging in. Both looked pale and miserable. Rosamund was still sniffling. Beth felt pained when she saw them. How could she leave them? They needed her, wanted her.

  They had their uncle to thank for that.

  Both girls took their seats at their desks without saying a word. Beth looked towards the door again, expecting to see Hermia hovering there as normal, watching her with a scowl or a smirk. It would more than likely be a smirk now she knew Beth would be leaving. But the eldest daughter was nowhere to be seen.

  “Have you two seen Hermia?” Beth asked.

  “She said she was going for a walk,” Isabel replied.

  Beth sighed. Gerard was not going to be impressed. Hermia was supposed to stay in the schoolroom and do as she was told, not go for a walk. The girl could cover a lot of ground when she wanted to.

  “She’s gone to see Mother.”

  Beth stared at Rosamund, who looked at her with wide, red eyes.

  “I beg your pardon, Rosamund?”

  “Mother’s buried at the chapel over there.” Rosamund pointed to the east of the house. “Hermia goes there to sit at her grave.”

  Beth looked at Isabel, the older girl nodding. She had had no idea about this. The girls mentioned their mother a few times, but then there was always a moment of sadness afterwards. Neither Isabel nor Rosamund had said anything about the late Lady Rossdale in some time. Hermia had said nothing, either. Then again, she didn’t really talk to Beth.

  Beth sighed and headed towards the door.

  “I’ll go and find her. You two get on with your lesson.”

  “Do you want me to let Father know that Hermia isn’t here?” Isabel asked.

  Beth shook her head.

  “No. Leave him be.”

  Beth didn’t want Gerard involved in this. He would be angry, and Beth didn’t want another argument between him and his daughter. She would handle this alone.

  Heading out of the house, Beth made her way over to the chapel. She hadn’t been to this place before, preferring to keep away. Her relationship with God had been shattered when he hadn’t picked them out of the gutter and changed their fortunes. Oddly enough, even though the family had a chapel, they didn’t attend church. Beth had never asked why, but it suited her well enough. She didn’t want to explain that she didn’t want to go to church and listen to God’s stories.

  But she had passed many times and saw the several crypts and graves scattered neatly throughout the grounds of the church. All the members of Gerard’s family going back centuries, laid right here in the Lake District. It was a bit of a surreal place considering the beauty of the countryside. But Beth surmised a wealthy family could afford to have their own burial place away from the others.

  Hermia was sitting against a gravestone, huddled up with her arms around her knees. Her head was on her knees, and she was rocking back and forth. Beth could hear the sobbing from the gate. She paused. Part of her told her to turn away and leave the girl alone.

  She clearly wanted time alone, and it looked like Hermia was finally able to grieve. But another part of her wanted to go over and comfort the girl, take care of her as she cried. Beth didn’t think she would be welcomed.

  Then Hermia stopped crying. She looked up, her white face streaked with tears, and stared at Beth.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I …” Beth gulped. “I was worried when you didn’t come for your lessons. I thought you’d run away again.”

  “I wanted some time alone.” Hermia sniffed. “Is that too much to ask?”

  “Of course not.”

  “How did you know where to find me?”

  “Rosamund told me. She and Isabel were worried.”

  Hermia grunted and looked away. Beth hesitated.

  “Do you want me to leave? I can if you want.”

  Hermia was silent for a long time. Then she shook her head.

  “No. You can stay.”

  Chapter 23

  That was some progress. Beth pushed through the gate and approached Hermia and the grave. She could make out the engraving just over Hermia’s shoulder. Allegra Thinesley, Duchess of Rossdale. She died at a young age. Beth bowed her head and made the sign of the cross on her chest as a sign of respect. Then she sat on the grass beside the grave, crossing her legs.

  “You loved your mother, didn’t you?” She paused. “You want her back?”

  “Yes.” Hermia nodded. “I do want her back. She was taken from us too young. All because I was unwell.” Her shoulders began to shake. “If I hadn’t, she would still be here.”

  “Hermia, it was a freak accident. Nothing could have changed it. I doubt anyone would have seen it coming.” Beth watched as Hermia took a shuddering breath doing her hardest not to cry again. “And it only shows to me that your mother loved you enough to risk herself. If it meant making you feel better, she would do it no matter what the cost.”

  They sat in silence for a while. Beth then realized this was the first time the two of them had been able to talk without shouting at each other, without Hermia lashing out. This was probably the first decent conversation they had experienced.

  “I’ve been so lost without her.” Hermia stared at the ground, her arms wrapped around her legs. She had stopped rocking. “I don’t know what to do. And then Father kept giving us women to teach us. People taking Mother’s place in our learning. I didn’t want them, or to learn anything. I wanted Father. We nearly lost him as well, and I wanted to know that he loved us, that he would be there for us. But he didn’t. He pulled away and mourned on his own.”

  “I gathered as much early on,” Beth said. “Is this why you’ve been behaving as you have?”

  Hermia nodded.

  “He tried to do something to look out for you and your sisters. And, I admit, he did it in the wrong way. I’ve told him as much.”

  “You actually told him?”

  “Yes.”

  Hermia stared at her with a look of bewilderment.

  “I’m surprised he listened to you. He doesn’t often do that.”

  “I’m sure.” Beth leaned forward. “He loves you, Hermia. You, Isabel, Rosamund. Your father just needs things getting into his head. Even though he’s different to men of his time, some things are difficult to change, like listening to women and children when it matters.”

  “You think so?”

  “I know so. And you girls didn’t have a champion, of sorts, over the last year to speak for you and look out for you. You needed someone on your side.”

  Hermia was not looking at her like she had never seen Beth before. Was something beginning to fall into place in her head? Beth could only hope so. She wanted to settle things between her and the oldest Thinesley daughter before she left.

  “None of the governesses had our best interests at heart,” Hermia murmured. “They were strict, telling us to focus on our lessons and not to bother Father. Or even Grandmother. They also focused on Isabel and Rosamund. It was like they thought I didn’t need any help, any guidance.” She licked her lips. “I just wanted someone to give me attention. Even if it was bad attention.”

  “It’s a natural reaction after you lose someone you love. I’ve never been there
with a parent, but I completely understand.”

  Hermia nodded.

  “I didn’t want them there. I wanted my family back. I knew I couldn’t get Mother back, but I wanted Father. And he just passed us off to servants. So, I began driving them away.” Her mouth twitched in a slight smile. “Although the one before you, Lacey, was nothing to do with me. But it was a relief when I heard she was gone. She preferred flirting with the male servants than teaching us.”

  “I heard about that.” Beth rubbed at her ear. “I think my ears are still burning from all the details. Servants make sure you know every single thing that happened.”

  Hermia giggled. Then her smile faded.

  “You were different, Beth. And it’s only just come to me. You made sure you gave me time away from my sisters. You tried to include me. But I refused to do it, and I pushed back. I didn’t want anyone except my family, and you weren’t family. There have been so many times where Father could have given me a harsher punishment, and he didn’t. And I’m sure there were times when Father could have punished me, but you stood by me. You refused to give up on me when everyone else had.” She looked away. “I was so wrapped up in making you leave that I didn’t see the bigger picture. You’ve been a member of this family for a long time, and I refused to look.”

  Beth didn’t think she had heard Hermia say so much. If she had, it was more than likely something not worth repeating. She wanted to reach out and hug the girl, but Beth had a feeling Hermia wouldn’t appreciate it right now. She kept her distance.

  “You’re a frustrating girl, Hermia. But you’re very bright. And underneath your anger, I know you just want to be loved. I wanted to be there when you needed someone to talk to. A confidant for you. Be there when you finally wanted to talk.”

  “Really?” Hermia looked up. “You did all that to help me?”

  “I’m your governess, your tutor. You and your sisters are my first priority. I like to do things properly, and I wanted to do it well.” Beth tilted her head to the side. “But what’s made you change towards me now? I thought you were going to hate me to the end of time. If you know that I’m leaving soon, shouldn’t that make you happy?”

  “It would have done. Especially when I saw the way Father was with you. I had only ever seen him look at Mother like the way he looked at you.” Hermia sighed. “He was infatuated, and I didn’t want to see Mother replaced. Not like that. I thought you wanted to become the next duchess, and then you would make Father forget us like he had forgotten Mother.”

  “Oh, Hermia!”

  Beth felt like she was about to cry with that confession. She would never have done that, but Hermia had been too angry to listen to anything else.

  “And then I overheard you and Father last night. What you said to him about me, about her sister.” Hermia swallowed. “I knew then. You had been looking out for me, even after the way I treated you. And you weren’t here to take the title of duchess. Your self-worth and your family were more important than your feelings for Father.” She looked at Beth. “Father clearly loves you. And it scares him.”

  “How can love scare someone?”

  “I don’t know how as I’ve never been in that position, but it’s possible. Especially if it hits you like a horse and carriage.” Hermia swiped her nose along her arm as she sniffed. “Father is scared of losing you. We all are. Even me.” She grunted with a slight twitch of her mouth. “There. I’ve said it. I don’t want you to go, either.”

  Beth had waited a long time to hear this. But she wasn’t about to change her mind. Not even if Hermia was insistent that Gerard loved her. If he did, he would have said something before. She sighed.

  “I have to go, Hermia. Your uncle is the reason my family is in disgrace. I can’t stay here after knowing that. Not in good conscience.”

  “Even if Father offered you marriage and a life here as his wife?”

  Beth stared, but Hermia didn’t blink. She wasn’t jesting.

  “He wouldn’t offer that to me.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I’m a servant. Even if I wasn’t, I’m not of the right social station. I shouldn’t even be in the same room as your father.” It hurt to say all of that, and Beth had to take a moment before her own emotions took over. “I’m completely unsuitable.”

  “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

  Beth gasped and turned. Gerard was standing at the gate, watching both of them as he leaned on the gate. How long had he been there? Beth turned to Hermia, who didn’t look surprised.

  “Did you know he was there?”

  “Not until a moment ago.” Hermia rose to her feet, facing Gerard. “Do you want some privacy, Father?”

  “Please.”

  “All right.”

  Hermia turned to Beth and held out a hand. Hesitating, Beth then took the outstretched hand and allowed the girl to help her to stand. Hermia squeezed her hand before releasing it.

  “Go easy on him, please.”

  #

  When Isabel had told Gerard that Hermia had gone again and Beth had gone to look for her, Gerard had been annoyed. Not again. He didn’t want to have to chase after his daughter today and separate the two of them. What he hadn’t been expecting was to arrive at the chapel and find both his daughter and the woman he loved sitting together and talking like old friends. There was no shouting, no threats. Just talking. Gerard didn’t think he would ever see that sight. He could only watch them in astonishment.

  Hermia whispered something to Beth after helping her up, and then she walked towards the gate. She gave Gerard a smile, one that reached her eyes, and wrapped her arms around his waist. Startled, Gerard reacted a moment later, hugging her tightly as Hermia rested her head against his chest.

  “I love you, Father.”

  “I love you, too.” Gerard drew Hermia back and kissed her head. “Off you go.”

  Hermia nodded and stepped around him, making her way back towards the house. Gerard watched her go. When was the last time Hermia had said that to him? He couldn’t remember. He turned back to Beth, who hadn’t moved.

  “What did you say to her?”

  “Didn’t you hear me?”

  “Not really.” Gerard opened the gate and stepped through, walking across to her. “I was more surprised at the sight of you two talking civilly.”

  “She’s been hurting and lashing out at everyone, just as I said before.” Beth shrugged. “You just had to be patient with her.”

  “And it looks like it’s paid off.”

  Beth nodded. Gerard was now standing before her, just within touching distance. Beth was swaying. Was she going to back away? It would hurt if she did. Gerard didn’t want her to run away from him. Not now.

  “She …” Beth looked at a button on his shirt, not up at him. “She just had to see you pleading with me not to leave for her to realize that what she was doing was wrong.”

  Gerard winced. They really had made themselves a spectacle last night if his daughter had heard it all.