Breaking Rein (Horse Play Series Book 3)

by A. D. Ryan

  Jensen smiled and nodded, pouring the hot water into two mugs before joining me. “For you, baby, I’ll do just about anything.”

  Smiling slyly, I leaned in for a kiss before whispering against his lips, “I may just have to take you up on that.” After a few sweet kisses, I sat back and asked Jensen how his day was.

  “Busy. After doing all the morning chores, I helped Tom with Ransom and Starla. Jeff and I worked out in the shed restacking bales of hay and straw for when our next shipment comes in.” He chuckled dryly. “I’d like to say I was able to focus on it entirely, but that would be a lie. I thought about calling you several times, but didn’t want you to feel crowded.”

  “That’s okay, I was pretty busy all day too,” I told him. “I kind of ran into your mom at the spa.”

  “Oh yeah?” he said upon sitting. “How is she?”

  I knew I had to tell him that his mom knew, but I didn’t want him to be disappointed I was the one to tell her by myself. “Excited?”

  Jensen took a sip of his tea before drawing his eyebrows together with confusion. “About?”

  I pressed my lips together, my nose scrunching all on its own as I prepared to confess. “The baby.”

  Choking and sputtering on his latest sip, Jensen set down his glass and looked at me with wide eyes, fishing for an explanation.

  “I was just finished with my massage, and my masseuse was walking down the hall with me. She mentioned me making weekly appointments throughout the rest of my pregnancy. Your mom was just coming out of her own appointment and overheard us. I’m sorry,” I apologized quickly.

  Jensen shook his head and cleared his throat after getting his coughing fit under control. “I’m not upset. Just surprised, I guess. So, she took the news well?”

  With a sigh of relief, I smiled. “She’s so excited. I did ask her to keep it to herself if at all possible until we had a chance to tell everyone together. I just … I didn’t want to take that away from you, too.”

  Instead of being disappointed, Jensen leaned in and pressed his lips to my forehead. “I guess it’s a good thing our appointment is next week, then.” Standing, Jensen walked behind the island and opened the fridge, and I followed to help. “What do you feel like having for dinner? Any cravings?”

  My grin widened as my arms twisted around his waist and my hormones took over. “Just one.”

  Jensen didn’t take long to catch on, scooping me up in his arms and carrying me to our room.

  Chapter 3. False Alarms

  “Can you believe in just a few short hours we’re going to tell everyone? I hope they’re all as excited as your mom is.”

  Chuckling, Jensen kissed my forehead. “They will be, Madi.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Well, maybe not as excited. My mom’s probably going a little overboard with everything.”

  Since finding out last week, Janet had made it a point to call daily to see how I was feeling. It was really very sweet, and I didn’t mind in the least, because I knew if my mom were still around, she’d be doing the very same thing.

  My smile faded as I dropped my eyes from his.

  “What is it, sweetheart?” he asked, coaxing my face back to his.

  “It just sucks that Willow and Brandon won’t be here tonight,” I pouted, wanting to be able to tell everyone we loved all at once.

  “You could call them?” Jensen suggested softly, offering me a small smile.

  I shrugged. “I guess, but I kind of wanted to tell her in person. It’s big news to relay to your best friend over the phone.”

  “Well,” Jensen commented. “We are heading to Memphis to stay with them this weekend. Can you hold off on telling her until then? I mean, we’ve already made it this far …”

  Over the weekend, we had talked to Willow and Brandon about going out to Memphis with Lilah and Kyle. That was when I asked if they could come to dinner, but, sadly, they were both extremely busy with work.

  “Yeah, I think I can wait until we see them. I just feel like I’m going to burst.”

  Jensen laughed as we put our shoes on to leave. “Well, maybe telling our company tonight will help to alleviate that a little.” I could only hope he was right about that.

  In order to get to our doctor’s appointment without tipping Dad off, Jensen and I told him that we were just running to town to look at a few car dealerships since I was still toying with the idea of getting a new vehicle. While I wouldn’t be looking at new cars today, I had a feeling he wouldn’t be too upset when he learned what we were really doing.

  “So, what do you think is going to happen today?” I asked, really not knowing what to expect. We had just hit the highway, and I was starting to feel a little antsy.

  Smiling, Jensen turned to me. “Well, we’re about eight weeks along, which means we should be able to hear the heartbeat.”

  “Really?” I asked, placing my hands over my belly as I glanced down at it. “So soon?” All I could think of was how cool it would be to hear the heartbeat. What would it sound like?

  “I assume the doctor will ask if we have any questions, he’ll probably recommend a good pre-natal vitamin, and that’ll likely be it. I can’t imagine the first appointment being too in-depth.” A sad look crossed his face briefly, and I knew what he was thinking before he said it. “It’s not like I had the opportunity to go … the last time.”

  Reaching over, I placed my hand on his arm. “Hey. We’re not even going to think about that, okay? Today is going to be a happy day, okay? Today, we might get to hear our baby’s heartbeat.”

  His expression softened as he turned to me and smiled. “I love you so much,” he said. “Thank you.”

  It didn’t feel like long before Jensen was pulling into a parking spot outside the doctor’s office. My heart pounded with excitement as I unbuckled my seatbelt with trembling hands.

  After checking in with reception, we made our way to the waiting room full of women in various stages of pregnancy. My hand never left Jensen’s as we sat side-by-side. His thumb moved in soothing stokes along the back of my hand, and it was the only thing keeping me grounded as excitement and nervousness pulsed through my veins, leaving me wound like a top. Time ticked by on the clock, and several women were called before me. I wasn’t usually the impatient type, but today I was having a hard time waiting my turn.

  “Madison Landry?”

  Quickly standing, I looked to Jensen who seemed just as anxious. The nurse waved us forward, and we followed her into one of the smaller exam rooms where I stepped onto the digital scale under Jensen’s prying eyes.

  Playfully, I reached out to the side and covered his eyes. “Hey! No peeking!”

  After recording my weight and closing the file, the nurse opened the door. “Dr. Smith should be with you in a moment. Please, take a seat and get comfortable.”

  Jensen sat in one of the chairs along the wall, and I sat on the exam table and took in my surroundings. The pale walls were covered in posters of the male and female reproductive systems, the various stages of fetal development, and another about breastfeeding. That made me realize I’d never really given much thought to how I would feed the baby; I hadn’t foreseen this happening for years to come. It would appear that some much needed internet-surfing and pamphlet-nabbing was in my immediate future.

  The sound of Jensen cracking his knuckles drew my attention back to him, and I laughed. He only ever cracked them when stressed out. “Jensen, what’s wrong?”

  His eyes looked as though they were slightly glazed over as he blinked a few times, finally focusing on me. “What?” He looked down at his hands and chuckled sheepishly. “Oh, nothing. Guess I’m just feeling a little anxious about talking to the doctor and hearing what he has to say.”

  His ears must have been burning, because as soon as we started talking about him, the door opened and Dr. Smith came strolling in. “Well, Madison!” he greeted. “It’s been a few months, what can I do for y—” He looked in my file, then at me, then Jensen bef
ore finally letting his gaze settle on me again.

  Dr. Smith had actually been my gynecologist for as long as I could remember needing one. I wasn’t the type to just go to a new doctor; I preferred to be comfortable with a man before I let him inspect the lady bits, thank you very much.

  “So, I guess congratulations are in order?” he asked, smiling finally.

  Nodding, I grinned back. “Thank you, yes. We’re very excited.”

  Before we got started, Jensen and Dr. Smith exchanged pleasantries, and then the focus was right back on me. “So, Madison. When was your last period?”

  Right to the point, as usual. “Uh, end of August to the beginning of September. Sorry, I don’t have dates …”

  “That’s okay,” he assured me, jotting something in my file. “That should be enough to go on. I can schedule you in for an early ultrasound to confirm a due date in the next few weeks if you’d like.”

  My eyes widened happily as I looked to Jensen, who looked equally as excited. “That would be great. Thank you.”

  “So, do the two of you have any questions before we listen to the heartbeat?”

  I looked over to Jensen, who knew what my main question was for today’s visit. “Yeah, actually. I was wondering about riding. I know that the baby’s safety is more important, and I’ll give it up if I have to.” I took a breath, realizing that I was rambling a little. “But, there’s so much work to be done, and if we don’t have to hire outside help, that would be ideal. We’ve had clients ride pregnant, and we’ve made them sign waivers, but Jensen would feel better if we heard from you—a doctor—whether or not it was safe for me to continue doing my job.”

  Dr. Smith looked over to Jensen and smiled. “There’s absolutely no reason that Madison can’t continue to ride until the end of her first trimester. The baby is pretty embedded in there, and it would take a serious jarring action—one much worse than a fall from a horse—to dislodge it.” The doctor looked to me with a smirk. “Now, that’s not to say you shouldn’t be careful, because you should, but there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to …” I sensed a “but” coming up. “However …” That was just a fancy word for but. “I would advise you refrain from jumping. While a fall shouldn’t trigger a miscarriage, one can never be too careful. By eliminating the more dangerous aspects of the sport, you’ll be more prone to staying atop the horse. And once you hit about thirteen weeks, you should stop.”

  Nodding at everything he said, I smiled at Jensen. “Are you okay with that?” I asked him, knowing that if he wasn’t okay with it, I wouldn’t do it. I meant it when I said I’d give it up if I had to.

  Leaning forward, Jensen clasped his hands together as he leaned on his knees and smiled, his head bobbing once. “Yes. As long as you’re careful.”

  After asking me a few more questions regarding my activity level, eating habits, and vitamin supplements, Dr. Smith asked me to lie back on the table. Jensen was on his feet and by my side in an instant, gripping my hand in his as my doctor grabbed a tiny machine from his white coat pocket.

  “Now,” Dr. Smith said as he put a little gel on the end of the microphone thingie. “It’s still pretty early, but if my estimates are correct, we should be able to hear the heartbeat without too much trouble.”

  Nodding quickly, I looked up at Jensen who gave my hand a gentle squeeze as the doctor lowered the machine to my belly. There was a really faint pulsing and tears sprung to my eyes, but when I looked at Dr. Smith he looked to be deep in thought.

  “Is that it?” I asked, suddenly unsure of what I was hearing.

  He shook his head and moved the device over my lower abdomen, pressing harder. “No, that’s your heartbeat. The baby’s will be much faster due to its size.”

  My face felt warm as I blushed at my mistake, and I dropped my head back onto the pillow it was resting on. I tried to still my breathing, thinking that maybe that was interfering with Dr. Smith’s attempt to find my baby’s heartbeat. Dread started to claw its way into me, its gnarled fingers wrapping around, and crushing any shred of happiness I had the longer it took to locate the heartbeat.

  “Doctor?” I asked, my voice a tiny squeak. Jensen squeezed my hand supportively, but I could tell he was just as scared as me. “Is everything okay?”

  It was clear that he didn’t want to upset me, so he removed the device and wiped it off before putting it back in his pocket. Smiling at me—which I failed to see as reassuring—he picked up my file and headed for the door. “I’m sure you’re just a smidge earlier than we thought. I tell you what, I’m going to go out and grab an ultrasound machine that will allow us to see what’s going on in there, all right?”

  With a pathetic sniffle, I nodded. “O-okay …” As soon as the door closed behind him, I shot upright. “What if something’s wrong? What if … what if we lost the baby? Oh, God! What if there is no baby and the test was wrong this whole time?”

  Jensen pulled me into his arms and held me tightly, making gentle shushing noises in my ear as he ran his hand over my hair. “Madi, honey, just stay calm. I’m sure he sees this all the time. Let’s just wait until he gets back with the ultrasound machine, and we’ll go from there, okay? I’m scared, too, but we can’t let it consume us. We need to stay positive.”

  Pressing my face harder against his chest, I swallowed the sob that was slowly working its way out of my chest. When the door opened again, I lifted my head to see our earlier nurse come in.

  “Dr. Smith asked me to come in and have you change out of your jeans and drape this over your lower half,” she instructed, holding out a flimsy paper-like blanket. Jensen and I must have been wearing the same look on our faces as we stared at her because she offered us a kind smile. “This early in the pregnancy, it’s common to administer an internal sonogram in order to see the baby. It would be far too small to see on any of the regular machines.”

  My eyebrows furrowed together as I started to understand what was going to happen. “So, by internal, you mean …?”

  She laughed. “Yes, Miss Landry. Here, take this, and the doctor will be right in.”

  Seeming to still be in a state of shock, Jensen reached out and took the paper blanket from her before turning to me. “Do you want me to leave? I mean, would it be too awkward with me here?”

  “Leave?” I cried out, my voice cracking like a pre-pubescent boy. “No I don’t want you to leave. I need you.”

  His head bobbed up and down, relief washing over his face. “Okay.”

  Quickly, I stripped out of my jeans and climbed back onto the table while Jensen opened the door a crack to let the doctor know I was ready. After a few seconds, Dr. Smith re-entered the room with a machine on wheels.

  Within several minutes, the doctor was sitting on a stool at the foot of the table. Through my periphery (because I refused to focus solely on what was going on) I could see him preparing the long wand that was going to show us whether or not I was cooking a bun in my oven.

  “Okay, Madison. This might be a little uncomfortable, so I just need you to relax as much as possible, all right?” His voice was calm, which almost led me to believe that everything was fine, and that I really didn’t have to be such a worry-wart.

  “Mmm hmm.” I tried my hardest not to shift when he started the procedure. My hand gripped Jensen’s hard, and I clenched my eyes shut, breathing deeply, as I waited until the discomfort subsided little.

  “Okay, let’s see what we’ve got here,” Dr. Smith said quietly, probably speaking mostly to himself as he tried to figure out what was going on.

  I was sure that not much time had elapsed since the ultrasound began, but with every subtle movement he made with the wand-like apparatus, it seemed to drag on longer and longer. I couldn’t help but worry more and more with every passing millisecond, and I knew by the strength in which Jensen gripped my hand that he must have been feeling the same way.

  “All right, do you see this here?” Dr. Smith asked, drawing my eyes down to him as he pointed at the
monitor. I nodded because I did see it; I just had no clue what “it” was. “Well, that’s the amniotic sac, and this right here in the middle is the baby.”

  “That little white, peanuty blob is our baby?” I asked, still not quite sure I was looking at the right thing. When he nodded, I smiled; I was looking at our baby.

  “And this here … Do you see this little flicker?” I had to squint and prop myself up on my elbows as much as I could without causing myself more discomfort due to the fact that I was still connected to the machine, but I saw it. “Well, that’s the baby’s heartbeat. Here, let me turn the sound on, and we can take a listen.”

  The minute he clicked the sequence of buttons, a fast and steady whoosh whoosh whoosh filled the room. Not only was it steady, but it sounded strong. So strong. Tears stung my eyes as I fell back onto the table, marveling at the sound and committing it to memory. Relief forced me to exhale the breath I was holding, and Jensen leaned forward and kissed my head. I had no doubts that my smile was probably pretty goofy, but I didn’t care because I was listening to the heartbeat of the life that Jensen and I had created … together.

  My tears spilled from the outer corners of my eyes, but I didn’t wipe them away because they were tears of happiness. Squeezing Jensen’s hand again, I turned and looked up at him, noticing for the first time that his eyes were starting to glisten, as well.

  Chapter 4. Start Spreadin’ the News

  Holy shit, I thought to myself as the sound of my baby’s heartbeat filled the room.

  When the doctor couldn’t find the heartbeat with just the Doppler, I was devastated and starting to think that maybe I wasn’t fated to have children. It was ridiculous—I knew that—but given my past experience, I couldn’t help but let my mind go there.

  Truth be told, I was barely keeping my shit together for Madison. My heart pounded heavily, my airway constricted, and my chest tightened as a panic attack settled in. But then, just as quickly, it all faded as a steady swoosh filled the tiny room.