Transmission Lost

by Stefan Mazzara

  “Gods, Jack...” Aria balled her hands into fists, squeezing tightly. She could feel the warmth flowing deep into her, the alien seed flooding her womb. The pleasure was incredible, like nothing she'd ever felt. It was not her first mating, far from it, but this time was different from all the others. She felt full, warm, and...happy. How strange, that a human could elicit that emotion...

  Both of them spent, exhausted with the frenzy of their mating, they collapsed together on the floor of the tent. Feeling like he could barely move, Jack slowly rolled off of Aria's back, parting from her with great reluctance. For several long minutes he lay there, staring up at the canvass ceiling, just breathing. The enclosed space was hot, very hot, but he wouldn't have dreamed of leaving the tent for fresh, cooler air. Quiet gripped the night again, the only noise to be heard that of Aria's soft purr.

  After a time she turned her body over, placing a hand on his bare chest. Jack looked over at her. Aria stared back at him, her face a mixture of disbelief, wonder, and something else that he couldn't quite place. Whatever it was, it made him feel like all was as it should be. He leaned in and kissed her, reaching over to stroke a hand along her furred side.

  “Well, that bath was a waste...,” Jack said, a grin spreading across his face.

  With a brief snort of laughter, Aria clapped a hand across her mouth, her shoulders shaking in quiet mirth. She nodded, her tail waving peacefully behind her. Putting her arms around him, she pulled him close to her and curled her tail around both of them, enveloping him in the warmth of her body. Jack settled in, cuddled against the taller female, finally tired enough to sleep.

  A small gust of wind ruffled the outside of the tent, but it did nothing to disturb the two as they went to sleep.

  - 8 -

  When Jack awoke, he felt a chill in the tent. His eyes still closed, he reached an arm out for Aria, intending to pull himself closer to her for warmth. But his hand fell on empty space, and he opened his eyes. Aria wasn't laying beside him anymore. Her bedroll was bare, the only sign of her former presence there being a slight indentation where her body had been curled around his. Jack sat up, slightly alarmed by her absence. He felt a breeze brush by his face, and realized that the tent flap was open.

  Jack reached for his fatigue pants and pulled them on, then he crawled to the tent opening and poked his head out. The sky outside was still dark, with only hints of light starting to nibble at the blackness. The moon had sunk below the horizon. As his eyes adjusted, Jack could make out the form of Aria sitting on the mossy stream bank. Her back was to him, and she seemed to be staring out at the slowly flowing water.

  The human stood and walked over to her. She'd dressed herself back in her flight suit again. He didn't say anything, a little confused by what he was seeing. He'd never seen her looking quite so contemplative. Usually, she was a lot more active than this, and he wasn't sure if he should interrupt her thoughts.

  “You awake,” Aria said quietly, making Jack jump. She looked over her shoulder at him for a brief moment, then turned her attention back to the stream. “Na ha'lani?”

  “I don't...What did you say?”

  “Sorry, forgot. What I say is 'you have good dreams'?”

  “I...guess so,” Jack replied. He stepped forward and sat down next to her. “But when I woke up and you weren't there, I got worried.” He reached up and laid a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. Aria drew her legs up close to her, hugging her arms around herself and resting her chin on her knees. Jack was startled. “What's the matter?”

  “Nothing, I...,” Aria started to say, but she closed her mouth. She twitched her tail irritably, though what was bothering her he had no idea. The Ailian shook her head. “It is...nothing.”

  “I might not know a whole lot about Ailians,” Jack said slowly, “but I know enough to know that you're not upset about nothing.” He moved to place an arm around her waist, but thought better of it. “Tell me. You can talk to me.”

  Aria buried her face against her knees. “Be silent!” she hissed, clasping her hands over her ears. “Leave me be...please...”

  Jack was starting to feel angry. He grabbed her arm, heedless of the danger of doing so, though he well recalled just how much she could hurt him if she wanted to. “Not gonna happen. Not until you tell me what's wrong.”

  Growling, Aria made as if to push him away, and Jack braced himself in preparation to be thrown to the ground. However, she stopped, the tension in her body draining away just a bit. She raised her head, but continued not to look at him. He waited, and just as he was about to say something else, she sighed a little.

  “Is...Is difficult to explain...”

  Jack blinked. “What is?”

  “It just...” Aria sighed again. She glanced sidelong at him, not quite meeting his eyes. “We mate.”

  Despite the apparent seriousness of the situation, Jack couldn't help giving a little snort of laughter. “I know. I was there.”

  “Not laugh,” she muttered, looking away from him again. “Is nothing funny about this.” Aria wrapped her arms around her shoulders, rubbing them. She looked as though every word coming out of her took a considerable effort to force through her lips, and Jack got the sense that this might have been the most difficult conversation she'd ever had in her life. The feeling it was giving him was not very good.

  “Sorry.” Jack rubbed his face, watching her. She was acting uncharacteristically awkward. “I apologize if I didn't measure up to your standards. It was kind of a new experience for me, so if I did something wrong...”

  “No!” Aria said quickly. She turned her head back towards Jack, her eyes slightly wider than normal. “Not do anything wrong.”

  Feeling a small measure of relief, Jack laid his hand on hers. Her larger hand enveloped his, holding on tightly. “So...You enjoyed it, then?”

  Aria snaked her tail over, curling it around his waist. “Yes.” She stroked the back of his hand, finally smiling at him. “Was wonderful...” Aria leaned down, nuzzling at his cheek. However, Jack thought he could sense some hesitation in her actions.

  “But...,” he prompted her.

  She leaned back again, her smile faltering. The Ailian let his hand go, though she left her tail curled comfortably around him. She gazed back out at the stream, watching as the rippling surface glinted from what little light there was. “But...” Aria shook her head again. “Is difficult to explain. You...not understand.”

  “Try me.”

  Aria took a deep breath. She was silent for several minutes, collecting her thoughts. Jack could feel apprehension, the very same kind that she was surely feeling right now. He had a notion that whatever she was going to say, it would be rather troubling. Aria rarely held back with anything. If what she felt she needed to say was that difficult for her to put into words, Jack wasn't sure he wanted to hear it.

  “Well...Is like this, then...,” Aria began. Her voice was low, her words coming slowly. “You see my uniform.”

  “...Right...,” Jack said, drawing the word out. He looked at Aria's flight suit, wondering what she was on about. The garment was the same as it had always been, though a little bit more worn by now. Her rank insignia were sewn onto the lapels, as the suit was adorned on the shoulders with what he assumed were unit and division patches. Sewn above her right breast was a line in stuttering, jagged Ailian script that he'd learned was her name written in their language. Jack couldn't understand why she would draw his attention to her uniform. “What about it?”

  “I in Ascendancy military,” she said. Aria leaned back, laying herself out on the moss. Her tail slid from around his waist. She crossed her arms behind her head, her eyes turned up towards the stars fading in the dawn sky. “We taught from very beginning, in training...Enemy is enemy, nothing else. Is very important thing we taught.”

  “Not surprised. That's pretty much what anyone in any military is taught, right? Fight the enemy, win against the enemy.”

  “Is deeper than that, for
us.” The Ailian looked over at him. “Our codes seem strange to human, perhaps. Very rarely take military prisoners. Taught never leave enemy alive, no matter what. Disobeying code mean discharge, imprisonment...even death, maybe, yes?”

  “If you say so...,” Jack said. He rubbed the back of his neck. “But you don't think they'd execute you just for leaving me alive, right? I'm not military. Not anymore. And besides, I mean, you made that decision for your own survival. Your superiors would understand that, surely.” He laughed nervously.

  Aria stared at him, her yellow eyes staring at his face with a piercing gaze. “Of course they would understand. Ascendancy strict, not stupid. My commander recognize difference between fraternization, survival.” She turned her head away, moving one arm out to grab a clump of moss. She crumbled it between her fingers thoughtfully. “Would not execute, but...when I return home, not get very good assignment. Command not likely trust anyone who partner with human, for any reason.”

  “They'd really do that, huh?” Jack frowned. “Doesn't seem very fair. Well, I mean...But you made that decision even knowing that, so you must have been prepared for it.”

  “Yes, but...” Aria growled to herself. “Is different now. Would have been fine if I only travel with you. But...” She closed her eyes, the words hissing between her teeth. “We mate...”

  Jack still didn't quite seem to understand. “I'm not following you.”

  Aria sighed as her eyes opened again. “Different now. Will be seen as...treason. What you humans call it? Heard once...” She was quiet for a moment, her eyes going distant as she searched her mind for the proper words. “Is called...'fraternization', yes?” She turned her head to look at Jack. “I violate military law. Serious one. When I return, will be charged. Death is penalty.”

  For a long time after that, the both of them were quiet. All that could be heard was the gentle rushing sound of the stream, the rustling of a breeze through the nearby trees, and the distant sounds of the mountain birds starting to awaken. The air was warming slightly, but Jack still felt a chill.

  “So don't tell them,” he said. “They can't find out if you don't say anything...right?”

  Aria shook her head, her ears twitching as the moss tickled them. “Is not that simple.” She laid a hand over her face, taking a shuddering breath. “I must file report regarding all this. All of it. Is not easy to tell lie to Ailian. If they think I leave anything out, they put me through interrogation. One way or another, they find out.”

  Jack blinked. “You still want to go home, even knowing you could face that kind of treatment?”

  “Of course.” Aria uncovered her face, her eyes blazing with a passionate heat. “My honor depend on it. I am Ailian, it is who I am.” Her expression softened a little. “And...want to see family again. Sisters, brothers...My father. Need to get home for them, even if just see them once more. Did not want it that way, but...is how it is.”

  “I see.” Jack stood up abruptly, turning away from Aria. He put his hands in his pockets. A hundred thoughts were racing through his head now, and he felt heat rising to his face. “You sound as though you regret what we did.”

  Aria sat back up, sliding her feet in towards her body and setting her chin on her knees once more. She stared down at the mossy ground. “Yes...I do.”

  Jack exhaled sharply through his nose, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth. He hung his head. He suddenly felt used, tossed aside, dirty, like a worn-out rag. Feeling that way, on first glance, didn't seem to make any sense. He logically knew that what had happened between them was driven by a moment of passion. They'd both survived something intense, something that not a lot of people had the occasion to go through. Jack knew it was foolish to think there could be anything serious there, but he'd felt they had a little more between them than just the convenience of a temporary alliance, after all they'd been through. Even if it wasn't anything more than simple friendship or even just mutual respect, regret was something he felt he didn't deserve.

  Perhaps Aria could sense what he was feeling just then. Jack felt her tail brushing against his leg. “I offend you?” she said.

  “Yeah,” Jack said, a rueful laugh escaping his lips. He pulled his leg away from her, at the same time brushing a hand through his blonde hair. “Yeah, a little bit.”

  With a slightly crestfallen expression on her face, Aria drew her tail back. “I...sorry...Not mean to do that, just...” The Ailian bit her lip, then spoke again, her voice quieting to barely a whisper. “Sorry...”

  Jack spun on his heel, striding back towards the tent. “I'm going back to bed while it's still dark.” He thought about adding a nasty remark, but his heart wasn't in it. Leaving Aria sitting on the bank, he went back into the tent, zipping the tent flap behind him.

  ******

  Nearly an hour later, Jack heard the tent flap unzip behind him. He hadn't been able to fall asleep again, and it was growing lighter outside. The whole time he'd been lying there, he'd been thinking about what Aria had said. He could understand where she was coming from, but it still hurt. With all they'd been through, everything that had happened since the crash, he'd come to consider her something of a friend. And hearing those words that she had said had hurt. Maybe he had been stupid to think that friendship was something that was on the table, but that didn't change how he felt about her.

  He cursed at himself. If he'd had a little self-control, he wouldn't have allowed himself to do what they'd done, though it had felt right at the time. But that was the thing, wasn't it? Neither of them had been thinking straight. They'd let the heat of the moment take over, and the possibilities of what might have resulted had seemed inconsequential. Of course that wouldn't have been true, and he'd been an idiot for thinking otherwise.

  A shuffling sound told him that Aria was crawling into the tent. A moment later, he felt her hand lightly touch his shoulder. “Jack...”

  “I'm still angry, Aria,” he muttered. “I wish you hadn't said those things.”

  “I know...” Aria settled down next to him on the bedrolls. “I sorry, but...not want to lie to you.”

  Jack rolled over to face her. “You could have said something before it happened,” he said. “If you'd told me what the consequences could have been before, I might have...I dunno...” He rubbed a hand over his face in frustration. “I don't even know what I'm trying to say right now, I-”

  “Jack,” Aria cut him off, putting a hand to his cheek. “However I feel about what happen...I like you. And I not regret that part.” She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “We still friends...yes...?” There was a hopeful note in her voice.

  Rolling back over, turning his back to Aria again, Jack closed his eyes. His anger was subsiding. He had to remember where Aria was coming from, how they had been with each other at their first meeting. Jack knew it was a miracle they could even stand to be near one another, let alone that they could have possibly done what they did the night before. They'd been caught up in the heat of the moment then, he knew. Whether that heat was past or whether it was just simmering, Jack needed to let the anger go. There couldn't be any animosity between them if he and Aria were going to make it out of this alive.

  And at the same time, Jack realized that she'd done what she did even though she knew what the consequences would be. That spoke of some level of affection no matter which way he looked at it, and if Jack hadn't felt the same way he was sure last night wouldn't have happened.

  Clearly things would never be the same between the two of them. Whether that was a good or a bad thing, Jack had no idea just yet. But he wasn't willing to throw away the respect and cooperation that had built up between them. He wasn't willing to turn his back on a friend. He'd done enough of that in his life already.

  “Yeah, Aria,” Jack said. “We're still friends.”

  “Good.” He could hear relief in her voice. “Is still time before we need to move. We get a few more hours' sleep, yes? Will need it. We are close to our destination now, I think
.” The Ailian put her arms around him, pulling him close to her. “Is cold dawn. We keep warm together, yes?”

  Jack nodded, laying his arm over hers. “Sounds like a good idea to me.”

  ******

  When morning came in earnest, Jack and Aria pushed off on what they hoped was the last leg of their journey. Aria was very confident that they were closer, though Jack wasn't sure how she could know. He had, however, learned to trust in her instincts, so he went along with it. He had his rifle back in his hands again, Aria having saved it along with his pack after he'd fallen in the river, which gave him his own confidence. They were back in verdant, dense forest, reminiscent of the area in which they'd first met, except for the different type of trees. Brown, dried conifer needles crunched under their feet as they walked, which was about the only noise to be heard.

  For some reason unknown to either of them, there was no wildlife in this forest region. Aria found that distinctly ominous for reasons which she couldn't fully explain to Jack. Everywhere else they'd been there had been numerous alien life forms, whether benign or murderous. However, here there were no birds, no demons, none of the other more friendly animals that they'd run across previously.

  Jack saw no problem with this. “I don't see the issue,” he told Aria as they made their way through a thick patch of prickly bushes. He winced as a long thorn scratched his cheek. “I mean, isn't it refreshing to not have something trying to kill us right now?”

  Aria looked over her shoulder at him, a few steps ahead of his position. “Perhaps for you,” she said. The Ailian growled as she tugged on her tail, which had gotten tangled in a clump of crisscrossed briars. “But is strange no animals here, yes? I not like it.”

  For most of the day they talked little, with Aria concentrating on not losing her sense of direction in the forest. Jack was content to let her lead the way, since she had more skills with pathfinding. Every so often she would stop, her ears pricking as she strained to listen for any sounds. Jack waited patiently each time, though it seemed a useless gesture since they were, as far as he could tell, alone. Still, their experience with the pack of predators had proven that no amount of precautions would be too much, so he chose wisely not to complain about the delays.