Crown of Embers

by Meg Anne

  Closing her eyes, she took a shuddering breath, no longer able to keep the tears at bay. When the drops began to fall down her cheeks, she wasn’t sure if it was from the tears, or the rain that poured from the sky.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Von had helped keep the others at bay until she was ready to face them. And by ready, she meant numb. There was too much going on for the world to stop and let her process the death of her best friend. In some twisted way, the threat of Rowena’s next attack allowed her to shift her focus and compartmentalize her grief. She had a feeling that when the loss truly hit her, she would be completely useless.

  Helena stepped out of the makeshift tent and headed toward the familiar faces of her friends. It was actually a minor miracle she found them so easily. There were people scattered everywhere. Chosen, Night Stalkers, Watchers, Etillions, Talyrians, Daejaran wolves; it was a motley crew and a lot to take in.

  They’d created a temporary camp of sorts. A place for them to care for the injured, get a few hours of much-needed sleep and perhaps eat, if their stomach could handle it. Once those necessities were seen to, they would regroup in a more appropriate location. Not that Helena knew where that was these days. Rowena had already proven with her attacks that nowhere would remain safe for long.

  That was why the animals were currently patrolling the perimeter of the camp. Under other circumstances, she would have been amused by the uneasy truce between the wolves and Talyrians. Or the Talyrians and anyone, really. If the Chosen had been shocked by the appearance of Starshine, they were at a complete loss when they saw Midnight prowling at her side.

  Of the Talyrians that had flown to Etillion, only Starshine and Midnight had made the trip to the Vale with them. She’d had to leave the rest behind because the remaining charge of the Kaelpas stone was not enough to transport them as well as the Etillions. Besides, the need to travel immediately outweighed all else.

  Most of Reyna’s Watchers had returned to the Forest, although a few had stayed behind. Helena had not gotten a very good look at any of the hulking tree men, although she was curious how they communicated with the Night Stalkers. Could they even speak? Perhaps Reyna would fill her in before she had to test it out.

  There were also the fifteen Etillions that had come with them to the Vale. The plan had been to see what they were up against and hopefully use additional runners to bring more assistance if needed, but since the fighting was already over by the time they’d arrived, it was a moot point. They, along with the thirty or so remaining Chosen who had initially left with them from Tigaera, plus Reyna’s two hundred some odd Night Stalkers, currently comprised their group.

  What those numbers really meant was that Helena was surrounded by a lot of unfamiliar faces and she was more than a little uneasy about it. They’d had too many traitors among them as it was; friend and stranger alike. The reminder that she knew little, if anything, about the people she was surrounded by left her restless and feeling like she was being watched.

  Helena began to walk faster, no longer content with her solitude. As she made her way toward Von and the rest of her Circle, she noticed Amara speaking to Serena and Kragen, while Xander seemed to be interrogating Reyna. Ronan was standing a bit off to the side speaking with Von and Nial. Timmins and Joquil were listening to a solemn Miranda, and Effie was nowhere to be seen.

  Do not look for him, she ordered as soon as her eyes began to search for the familiar golden head. Helena shifted her focus to the ground and headed in the direction of Von. He reached for her hand as soon as she made it to his side. The touch helped steady her frayed nerves.

  “Helena,” Ronan started.

  “You have nothing to apologize for,” she said, surprising him.

  “I should have—”

  “No,” she said firmly, but softly. She wasn’t ready to talk about it, and she certainly didn’t want anyone else carrying the guilt of this death. That burden was hers alone. If she had been here, she could have stopped it.

  His eyes softened and he nodded, moving as if to walk away. She stopped him with a hand on his arm. “I do not blame you, and I am ordering you to not blame yourself.”

  Ronan’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “How, exactly, do you intend to enforce that?”

  “You’re an honorable man, Ronan. Don’t let me down.”

  “Tricksy female.”

  Her lips lifted in the barest hint of a smile. Ronan reached out and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly for one long moment before letting her go and backing away.

  Sensing the tidal wave of emotion threatening to overwhelm her, Von stepped forward and redirected the conversation. “Have we decided what our next steps will be?”

  “No, not beyond the immediate needs. We will honor the dead, but I would like to take Darrin,” her voice quavered as she said his name, “home with us. The Palace is big enough to house all of our new allies, perhaps we should start by gathering there and planning our next steps once everyone is assembled.”

  Von and Ronan exchanged a look. They weren’t thrilled with the idea of creating an easy target for Rowena, but they also understood Helena’s rationale.

  “What if we gather in Daejara?” Von offered by way of compromise.

  “Why would we do that? The Palace is more central.”

  “But also more obvious.”

  Helena mulled it over before nodding her agreement. “Fine. We will tell the others to join us there in a few days’ time. That will allow us to send word to those that are not already with us.”

  “How do we avoid sending anything that can be intercepted?” Ronan asked.

  Nial cleared his throat, “Leave that to me.”

  Von lifted a questioning brow.

  “I discovered something in a few of the books Timmins lent me. Secrecy should not be a problem.”

  “Alright, if that’s settled, then all we need to worry about for the moment is saying goodbye.”

  Helena was tired of saying goodbye. It felt like she was doing it more and more frequently. They’d been lucky, all things considered, and had only suffered a few losses. Unfortunately, that did not lessen the weight or impact of them. One was too many in that regard.

  “Kiri,” Reyna’s low voice interjected.

  “Yes?”

  “Due to the fire, there is not much that remains of the fallen. It makes it impossible for us to lay them to rest properly. Do you think…” she cleared her throat, “would you mind, doing for them what you did for those in Duskfall?”

  The hesitancy of the strong woman’s voice swayed her more than anything else could. Reyna did not want to ask this favor when Helena was so clearly distraught, but her desire to do what was right for her people, both the living and the dead, pushed her to anyway. It was not that Helena would have denied the request, or even that she had not been planning on doing so anyway, but the simple fact that Reyna felt she’d had to ask in the first place. It was a reminder, a call to duty. As the Mother’s Vessel, she could not get lost in her own grief. She had to put the needs of the others before her own. At least until this was over.

  “Of course.”

  Relief washed over the other woman’s face. “Thank you, Kiri.”

  Helena took a deep, centering breath before turning to face the wreckage. Calling on her power, Helena called to the spirits of the fallen. All of them. The Shadows had once been Chosen too. She would not leave them here.

  As in Duskfall, shimmering dust began to rise up from the ground. The people around her had gone silent, watching her work with varying degrees of awe and reverence. By the time she had finished, thousands of new stars were twinkling in the sky, visible despite the presence of the sun.

  Feeling empty and heartbroken, Helena sent a single thought to Von. “Let’s go home.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  When Effie found her, she was sitting in Anderson’s garden, watching the clouds move across the sky. The bag filled with Darrin’s ashes sat in her lap.

>   “H-hi,” Effie said in a voice hoarse with disuse. No one had heard her say a word since she’d spoken to Ronan on the battlefield.

  Helena took in the girl’s dark circles and red-rimmed eyes with a healer’s assessing gaze. “Are you ready?”

  Effie gave Helena a look. “Can you ever really be ready for something like this?”

  “No, I guess not.” Standing, she handed the bag out toward Effie. “Here, you should be the one to do it.”

  Effie’s eyes went wide. “Me?”

  Helena’s smile was kind, even though it wobbled slightly. “You were his choice, Effie. The honor is yours.”

  Effie’s nose went red and her eyes filled with tears. “But his loyalty was always to you first, Helena.”

  “No one is questioning his loyalty. He was sworn into my service, but he died to protect you.”

  Her lips quavered, and she looked up at Helena with lost blue eyes. “Why? Why did he do that Helena? I am no one. He had a duty, he was part of the Circle. He should have let me—”

  Helena cut her off. “Because he loved you, Effie. In his eyes, taking care of you was his only duty. You were everything. Do not dishonor his death by discounting his reasoning.”

  Effie sniffed back her tears. “How can you even stand to look at me? Don’t you hate me for being the reason he is gone?”

  “Hate you?” Helena looked shocked by the question. “Effie, Darrin was my best friend. I was thrilled he’d had someone to love and love him in return. Even if it was for too short a time. I will never hold that against you.”

  The blonde woman still looked uncertain.

  “Let me ask you this. Would you have done the same for him?”

  “Of course! But—”

  “No, there are no buts, Effie. It is what anyone would do for the one that they love.”

  Effie closed her eyes, more tears rolling down her cheeks. She took one long shuddering breath and then opened them. “Let’s do it together,” she said.

  Helena’s heart twisted in her chest, but she bit down on her lip, keeping her emotions in check. “Okay.”

  The women turned to face the center of garden, each holding one of the looping strands of leather that held the bag closed.

  “What should we say?” Effie whispered.

  “You don’t have to say anything,” Helena murmured.

  They shared one last look and flung open the bag, tossing the ashes out over the garden. As they did, a gentle gust of wind came, carrying the ashes up toward the sky.

  Effie let out a small gasp of surprise as she watched the twirling ashes fly away.

  “Welcome home,” Helena whispered, her heart feeling as though it was being clenched in a vice.

  There was one more gust of wind, its breeze warm and fragrant with the scent of flowers. Helena could have sworn it caressed her cheek, wiping away her tears. Her eyes fluttered closed and she had to focus on breathing before she could speak again. “I’ll miss you.”

  The two women stayed there, staring at the sky for a long while. Eventually, Helena left Effie alone so that she could say the rest of her goodbyes in private.

  The Palace was quiet, but it was the quiet of peace, not sadness. Despite everything that had happened in the last handful of weeks, there was a sense of calm that resonated throughout the massive structure. Whether it was because it had been imbued with some residual power of those that built it, or because it held its own kind of magic, Helena wasn’t sure. She just knew that it felt easier to breathe when she was surrounded by the safety of its walls.

  “Kiri,” Alina called.

  Helena acknowledged her with a soft smile.

  “They are waiting for you in the Chambers.”

  “Thanks, Alina,” she said before sighing. More meetings. She was sorely tired of the politics and strategy. She knew it was necessary, but one would think being in charge meant you got to spend more time doing what you wanted to do. Sadly, that was hardly ever the case. Her childhood self would have been gutted to learn it.

  Helena took the spiraling staircase a step at a time, walking slowly even though the men were waiting for her. She wanted to stretch out her last remaining moments of peace as long as possible.

  When she stepped in the room, five sets of eyes were staring at her with mixed degrees of concern. She felt Von’s phantom caress and struggled not to lean into it. He smirked at her from where he was leaning against the wall.

  Kragen and Joquil were already seated at the table, and Ronan was pacing at the far end of the room. Timmins set down the papers he’d been holding.

  “Where would you like to start?” she asked without preamble, shutting the door behind her.

  “Well the most pressing order of business is what you want to do about the Circle.”

  “Ronan will take Darrin’s place.”

  Ronan’s head snapped around toward her. “What?”

  Helena blinked in surprise, looking at the others. “Is that really a question? Is there any doubt that he is the best choice?”

  Von was grinning as he asked, “All in favor?”

  The four other men all lifted their hands.

  Ronan looked shocked. Helena’s smile faltered. “You do not have to, Ronan. I know that it is a lot to ask.”

  Ronan shook his head. “No, it is not that, Helena. I just, I didn’t think…” he trailed off, looking at his feet. “You honor me.”

  Von tossed a book at Ronan’s head. Ronan ducked, narrowly dodging the attack. “What was that for?”

  “Stop being stupid. There is no one else I would trust more to keep her safe.”

  “Nor I,” Helena murmured with a smile.

  Von scowled at her. “Hey now.”

  “I thought that the ‘besides you’ was implied.”

  “It better have been.”

  Helena rolled her eyes.

  “Do I take the vow now?” Ronan asked, looking sheepish.

  Timmins placed a hand on his shoulder. “There is time for us to do it properly. I will get everything in order so that we can hold the ceremony tonight.”

  “So what else is there to discuss?” Helena asked.

  “The Daejaran ambassador is dead.”

  “How?” Helena asked. “Rowena?”

  Timmins quickly shook his head. “No, not as far as we can tell. It appears to be natural causes. I was thinking that Nial would make a good replacement.”

  Helena’s eyes shifted to Von’s, checking to see if he had any objection.

  “He will not want to stay behind or be separated from Serena.”

  “He would not have to be. It is more a position in name, a go between for us and the people of Daejara. Other than yourself, he seems uniquely qualified.”

  Von nodded his agreement.

  “Speaking of Serena,” Timmins continued, “She and Nial have placed a formal request for their mating bond to be recognized.”

  Helena’s eyes moved to Ronan, but he was lost in his thoughts.

  “They want to have a wedding now?” Kragen asked in disbelief. “Have they forgotten we’re sort of in the middle of things?”

  It was Ronan who spoke next. “What better time? If Darrin’s death has taught us anything it is that tomorrow is not a guarantee. You cannot blame them for wanting to take advantage of the time they do have together, while it’s still a possibility.”

  The room was quiet as they processed his words.

  “Of course, if that is what they wish, we will make time to do it right. We can hold the ceremony once we are in Daejara so that both their families can be present.”

  Von smiled at Helena’s suggestion. “My parents will be thrilled.”

  Helena returned his grin, happy that they would have the chance to celebrate something for once. It was an unexpected and very welcome change.

  “Is there anything else?” she asked again.

  Timmins glanced at his notes. “Nial has sent word to our allies. They should be joining us in Daejara by week’s end. That give
s us time to hold the mating ceremony before their arrival.”

  Just like that, Helena’s stress and worry returned in full force. “Can the Holbrooke Estate really hold all those people?” she asked.

  Von shook his head. “Not within the Estate itself, but there is more than enough land and abandoned houses that can be utilized. The Estate will house the representatives of each realm, but their forces will need to remain in their own camps until we move out.”

  She closed her eyes. “Where do we even start? Rowena could be anywhere.”

  “We will draw her out, make her come to us. It is our turn to start calling the shots,” Ronan said with utter confidence.

  “Do you know how we intend to do that?”

  “Not yet. But we will.”

  His fierceness and determination were contagious. She could feel the steadying effect it had on the others.

  “We will be ready to head out tomorrow,” Timmins said.

  Helena nodded. She wished they could spend more time here, but she understood why they couldn’t. At least they had the night to spend with each other. She would take a page from Nial and Serena’s book and make sure to use it wisely. It could very well be the last time they were all together.

  “It was done?” Rowena’s icy voice snapped.

  “Aye, my Queen. The Circle has been broken, as promised.”

  “You are certain?”

  “I watched her Shield fall myself. There is no doubt.”

  “Excellent,” Rowena replied, her voice sounding almost warm. “Then we can move ahead with phase two.”

  “It has already been set in motion, my Queen.”

  “Come here, Thomas. I think you have earned a reward.”

  Thomas stood and swiftly closed the distance between them. Rowena smiled at him as he walked up the stone steps to the top of the dais where her throne sat. Her dress was the color of darkness and rustled like dead leaves as she stood. He reached for her, but before he could touch her, Rowena lifted up a hand and summoned her power.