Right before my eyes, the climax of a B-rated romance movie unfolded, and Ryan took a few large steps back. Standing in the middle of the deck, he wasted no time in stripping off his jeans to toss them aside. My gaze took him in all his naked glory, and for just a second he let me admire his chiseled form.
Then, suddenly, he started to change, and I tensed when I noticed the hairs on his arms growing thicker and longer. Ryan made no sounds, there was no ripple in the air- there was nothing as he was slowly replaced with an animal. Shaggy, brown fur hung down to drag along the porch as it creaked slightly from his weight, and his thick, long claws dug into the wood.
My jaw unhinged and a tremble shot down my spine with pin needle-like sharpness. Ryan was nowhere to be seen, and in his place, was a bear that was easily the size of an industrial van. Blinking hard, I reached with shaking hands to rub my eyes, but the creature hadn’t moved, and Ryan hadn’t come back.
When he had said, ‘something important,’ this wasn’t even on my list of possibilities.
“Oh - u-uh… um, so -… y-you… are a b-bear…” I couldn’t even make a coherent sentence, but the bear that sat only a few feet from me threw its head in a nod. Forcing my jaw together, I clenched and released my fists as my legs grew tense from just standing there.
“... a bear -” Grumbling more to myself, I bit down on my bottom lip before actually focusing on the bear’s face. He was large and in charge, but there was a glint in his eyes that made mine go wide. It was almost like I could see Ryan staring back at me beneath the veil of a wild animal - if that was even a real thing.
Oh God, I’m going insane. Did I even come to Alaska? Is this real?
My fist hit the siding of the house, and the crack echoed through the air like lightning. The birds stopped chirping, even the wind stopped breezing by, at the sudden slice in the atmosphere.
“Oh-h-h-! Oh my God! Oh!” Cradling my throbbing hand, my body crumpled as my screech reached up high into the heavens. Definitely real! Definitely real!
Stumbling back, I nearly tripped over my own feet until large hands wrapped around my shoulders. Glancing up past the tears that welled in my eyes, I felt all sorts of confusion at the fiery expression that twisted Ryan’s face. His human face… what the…
“What the Hell is wrong with you, Sylvia!” Short, curt, the bark wasn’t so much a question, and I had no answer anyway. Heat scorched my veins, fueling my muscles as I ripped myself from Ryan’s grasp. Holding my injured hand to my chest, I steadied myself with my free arm before words just started to pour from my mouth.
“Me! Me? I didn’t just turn into a bear! Ryan! I - you… you can do that?! What did you expect me to do, huh? Bring you inside and use you as a bed or something?” The heartbroken look on Ryan’s face brought me down a notch, but not by much. Swiping away my tears angrily, I shook my head hard as venomous words spewed from my chest. “You can’t honestly expect me to accept this - whatever this is - just like that. I don’t even know what’s going on anymore.”
“Sylvia – ba -”
“Don’t call me babe!” Cutting Ryan off, my shriek made him wince, but at that moment, I didn’t particularly care. I couldn’t even think straight, let alone comprehend what was going on. My legs started to move, forcing me into a rigorous pace as Ryan held up his hands in surrender.
“Okay… okay. Please, I can explain. I’m a bear shifter- you have to at least have heard of shifters, right?” There was a kind of hope in Ryan’s question that made goosebumps rise on my skin, and I reached up to rub them furiously without responding. “… I know it seems insane, but I’m telling you that it’s real, Sylvia. I can shift into a bear and have been able to since I was 15 years old. I’m not a science experiment or something crazy; I was born this way. And you… Sylvia, you’re my mate.”
Ryan’s hesitancy made me pause all movement, and my head whipped up to face him. Eyes narrowing on his panicked expression, I pursed my lips together as blood rushed to my head.
I wasn’t stupid or culturally ignorant. The concept of ‘shifters’ wasn’t new and was actually very prevalent in movies and books.
But it’s real. It’s real, and supposedly I’m mated to a shifter. The thought was so outlandish it forced a harsh bark of laughter from my throat.
“Mate? Mate? Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds?” My heart squeezed in my chest as Ryan went stone faced, but I couldn’t take back my words. I was falling in a violent, downward spiral into an abyss where up was down, and reality was fantasy.
Maybe he could sense it because in the time it took me to blink his lips were on mine, pulling me back to the light.
Taking hold of my face tightly, Ryan’s kiss was hard and heavy as it stole my breath.
“I know how it sounds, Sylvia, but it’s the truth. You’re mine. I knew from the moment you walked into my bar, and I’ve been trying to find the right time to tell you.” Gently his words flowed down my chin, and I let out a sob. My confusion was crippling, and if Ryan’s arm weren’t around my waist, I would’ve been on the floor.
“This can’t be happening- it can’t…”
Squeezing me, Ryan pressed his forehead against mine, but my tears made his distorted face indiscernible. Stroking my head, his soft shushing noises drowned out the relentless beat in my ears, driven by a heart that was pumping too hard.
“Shh… shh… Just breathe… It’s okay.”
Chapter Fourteen: Sylvia
“I want you to leave…” The words choked from my throat, and Ryan froze as he knelt in front of me. His fingers held supports to my two broken fingers, and the bandage hung limply down to his wrist. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, my lips quivered as a headache pounded behind my unfocused eyes. “… Just for a little… I need to think…”
Everything moved in slow motion as Ryan lifted his head, and his gaze sparkled with pain. The sight knocked the wind from my lungs, and my heart twisted behind my ribs.
“Okay. If that’s what you want.” Murmuring softly, the strain in his voice only pulled more energy from me. Carefully he continued to bandage my hand, his own stiff and slow as if moving each muscle was a chore for him.
The silence was deafening, and my blood pounded against my ear drums to a slow, weak beat. When he was done Ryan said nothing as he pushed himself to his feet, and I stared at my hand as his gaze bored holes into the crown of my head. He stayed for a few seconds, and I could feel his hope settling like a thick, invisible tar on my skin.
His hope was in vain, at least right now, and he sighed heavily before making his way through the living room towards the front door.
“If you need me, you know where I’ll be, Sylvia.” Those words pierced my heart, and the door shut with the finality of a judge’s gavel. Cold settled deep into my bones, and my tears ran down my face to create ruts in my skin.
How did this happen? How did it go from last night to this? My mind started to sputter into action, but it was slow and my thoughts short. I couldn’t grasp how I had gone from such a high to such a low in such a short amount of time. Last night was a dream and this morning was the nightmare that followed.
A dull glint caught my attention, and I turned my eyes to my cell phone as it sat on the coffee table. It took a long time for a thought to appear, and my joints creaked as if they’d never moved before when I finally gathered the energy to lean over.
My fingers shook, and I was glad I only had to press one button to bring up my mother’s number. I wasn’t sure if I could handle more as my injured hand throbbed all the way up to my shoulder.
“Hello?” At the sound of my mother’s voice something broke inside me, and my tears became thicker and fell faster. I couldn’t respond, all my words replaced with croaks and sobs as hysteria overwhelmed me. Holding my phone to my ear, I fell onto my side on the couch to curl up and cry.
Shivering, my breath came in choking gasps even as my mom just listened.
“... Sylvia, honey, tell Mom what’s wrong.” N
othing more than a soft coo, my mother’s gentle demand pulled a harsh sniffle from me that shook my brain. Wiping my nose, I forced my lips apart and ignored the stinging tearing of my skin. There wasn’t a second thought in my mind to do exactly what she said, and I took a deep, trembling breath before finding my voice.
“He turned into a bear… Mom, I don’t… how… what do I do?” I wasn’t sure if my mom could understand me, but at that moment, it didn’t matter. The smallest bit of advice would’ve helped; if she told me to brush my teeth, I would’ve done it. In my ear, the receiver crackled faintly, and I took another stabilizing breath before she spoke up.
“Honey, did you say he turned into a bear?” Nodding furiously, I rolled onto my back to stare blankly at the ceiling as my mom sighed into the phone. “Sylvia, what did I teach you about people’s appearances?”
“But M-” My mind whirled at the question, but my protest was cut short by a soft ‘tsk.’
“No. Sylvia, I thought we raised you better than that. It’s not necessarily what’s on the outside that counts, you know that. You really liked this man from what you told me. I don’t see why a bit of hair changes that.” My eyes nearly boggled out of their sockets, and I sucked in air through my teeth.
“Mom, he turns into a bear… a real, huge bear! The appearance rule doesn’t apply here!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and a crackle, a shuffling, burst from the speaker to make me wince. But my mother was steadfast, only humming at my outburst.
“I heard you, honey. I know you would never lie to me. But I’ll repeat it - it’s not what’s on the outside that counts. You told me last time we spoke that you felt a real connection with this man, did you ever wonder why? I know you didn’t, Sylvia. Yyou’re not like that. So, appearances aside, why do you not want to be with him?”
“Mom - I just…he turned into a bear. How am I supposed to cope with that?” Chewing on my bottom lip, I felt a childish kind of feeling building in my veins. My mom was supposed to take my side, no matter how irrational I was.
But she’s never been like that anyway, so why would she start now? Holding my breath, I knew the answer to that silent question.
My mother would never give bias advice and therefore tried to stay as neutral as possible.
“That’s not an answer, Sylvia. You said he was a gentleman, that he treated you well and understood your predicament. He didn’t push you into something you were unsure of. Why does learning he turns into a bear overshadow all of that? I have no doubt you’re telling me the truth in this, and it’s a little hard to believe, but you shouldn’t throw away a good man because of what he is or isn’t.”
Chapter Fifteen: Ryan
Two days had passed since I last saw Sylvia, and I was laying in the dirt shadowed by the trees that marked the edge of her back yard. I hadn’t opened the bar, or even been human, since that tragic early noon episode. Guilt had swarmed me, beating against my chest in time to the beat of my self-inflicted misery and anger.
After all, it was foolish of me to think that Sylvia would just blindly accept the fact that I wasn’t human.
My fur rustled in the wind that whipped through the trees and caused large ripples on Sylvia’s pond. Above me, angry storm clouds hung low in the sky, and the sun couldn’t penetrate the dark gray wall. It was almost as dark as night despite being 2 p.m., and my fur was weighted and damp with the telltale signs of a thunderstorm.
A flash behind a window caught my attention, and a huff escaped my maw. Sylvia was constantly on her phone, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. She hadn’t left her house in any way, even refusing to step onto her back porch.
But why would she, just to be reminded that the man that loves her isn’t even a man? Self-disgust picked up my lips, and my claws dug into the soft earth. I’d never hated myself more, and my bear radiated animosity that kept me tense and alert.
“-ut when… s- co-…” My ears twitched as Sylvia’s voice floated to me in wisps on the wind. It was so soft like it wasn’t even there, but my eyelids drifted shut all the same. Her fragments of words weren’t much, caressing the crevices of my brain and teasing me like a starving man imagining an apple. They were enough, though, and my chest deflated sharply in a sigh before they were gone again.
For the first time in two days Sylvia pulled open her backslider, and my bear shoved me back to lock my human consciousness in chains. He was pissed, determined to do the job I couldn’t as he lifted himself from the dirt. The imprint of my bear was set deep; we hadn’t dropped our vigil even to eat.
But Sylvia was suffering, and that meant I suffered too.
Seeing through frosted panes of glass, I stilled as Sylvia emerged from inside her home. Even from so far away I could see her puffy, red-rimmed eyes as they scanned the treeline. She looked pale in the darkness of such a gloomy day, and I winced internally as my bear snorted roughly.
Lumbering out from out spot, my bear held himself high and tall before Sylvia’s gaze landed on him. She only stared as he drew nearer, slowly striding along the edge of the pond. Her lack of reaction gave my beast confidence, and he let out a grunt when he reached the bottom of the steps.
He might’ve been confident, but she was the master right now.
Sylvia took a deep, shuddering breath that was lost in the wind before her head tilted forward in a nod. The action was barely discernible, but it forced my muscles into action. My bear took each step slowly, carefully, waiting for a second or two before taking the next when our mate made no move to stop him.
Once at the top he slunk low, his belly dragging along the porch boards and limbs sticking out awkwardly. In only a few crawling steps he was right before Sylvia, and even crouching down he didn’t need to tilt his head too far up to stare at her face. Her cheeks were rough, her lips thicker than I remembered, and my bear turned on me for it. His harsh mental lash made my mind spasm, and if I had been human, it would’ve brought me to my knees.
Right where I should be.
“Um…” My attention snapped to Sylvia, and my nostrils flared to take in her pretty, floral scent. Holding up her hand like she would an unfamiliar dog, she kept very still as my paws slid out in all directions. On his belly, my bear nosed gently along her fingertips and wrist. Glancing up, he waited for any tiny indication of rejection, but it never came. She just kept staring with wide, blue eyes that seemed even brighter with their red rings. Slipping his tongue out, he carefully licked her pointer finger before she took another harsh breath.
“I saw you… last night… Uh - I made pizza…” Sylvia’s tentative admission brought a warmth to my chest, and my bear finally backed off. He wasn’t happy about it, but he couldn’t fit through the glass doors. His job had ended, and he retreated to sulk in the back of my mind, alert and ready to punish me for doing even the smallest of stupid things.
Shifting back to my human form, I clenched and released my fists as Sylvia jumped slightly, her hand flying to her chest. Opening her mouth only to close it, she furrowed her brows before deciding not to say anything at all. Turning around slowly, she wandered the few feet to her back door while I followed, blanketed by a thick, heavy silence.
“So… I just… wanted to apologize… for the things I said.” I wasn’t even fully over the threshold before Sylvia whirled back around. Her desperation leaked into her apology, and for a moment my mind went blank. She was saying sorry to me. That just wasn’t right, and the sudden thought left a sour taste on my tongue.
“Sylvia, you had every right to react like that. Believe me, you’re not the first human to push this kind of thing into the realm of crazy.” My gaze sunk down to her injured hand, the one she hadn’t presented to my bear. The dressing was now an off-white color, and the tape was in a different position than I had stuck it. Pursing my lips together, I held back a sigh as memories of her punching her house filled my mind’s eye. “I know this isn’t something you can easily accept. I’m happy to give you whatever you want - however much time yo
u need.”
Once again Sylvia had nothing to say to my offer, and she twisted back around to head for the kitchen. Lately, I’d spent more time here than at my own apartment, and everything was so familiar that a sense of normalcy washed over me. I knew Lucy didn’t mind having the house to herself, and for the first time in days, my shoulders relaxed enough to slump slightly.
We didn’t even make it to the first semi-circular couch before Sylvia was facing me again, and this time her face had more color. The sight made me think that being inside this house gave her courage.
“I’m not leaving Alaska.”
Chapter Sixteen: Sylvia
Holding my breath, my chest tightened as Ryan’s pupils grew to consume his dark irises. Behind my ribs, my heart pounded hard, but I ignored it as the man before me shook his head hard. His brows furrowed tightly, expression screwing in confusion as his lips opened.
“What? Why not?” The questions made me lick my lips, and all the answers I could’ve said flew out of my ears.
“I’m going to… be renting. And the realtor said it was safer for the house if I was around.” I mentally smacked myself at the crestfallen look on Ryan’s face. Taking a half step towards him, I cleared my throat to dislodge the lump that had formed there now that he was right in front of me. “Also, I… want to do this… us, I mean...”
My mind was a mess, my thoughts swirling every which way in a less than cohesive jumble. Stumbling over my words, my tongue felt heavy, and my eyes widened at the bewildered expression that overtook Ryan’s face.
“Why? You couldn’t even look at me two days ago, Sylvia.” A nervous giggle escaped me at Ryan’s bland declaration, and I tore my eyes from his face. There was no humor in my laugh, and shame washed over me at the memory of how I’d acted.
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