Laura's Wolf (Werewolf Marines)
Page 38
Then his soft lips touched her flesh, and she felt the heat of his mouth. Felt pleasure, not pain; life, not death. The adrenaline rush was clear and bright and perfect, nearly orgasmic. She found herself trembling in Roy’s strong arms, inhaling his clean scent, overcome not only with sensation but with love.
“Thank you,” Roy said.
Laura straightened up, blinking in the water spray. “For what? Thank you!”
“For trusting me.” He kissed the hollow place below her throat. “For putting up with me, which I know isn’t easy.” He kissed her over her heart. “For protecting me.” He kissed her right collarbone. “For not protecting me, which I know is harder.” He kissed her left collarbone.
“And for being so fucking hot.” Roy slid down until he was kneeling before her, and kissed the soft skin of her belly.
As he slowly worked his way downward, Laura’s entire body flushed with heat that had nothing to do with the shower. A single flick of his tongue made her so dizzy that she had to grab on to his shoulder for support.
Then she remembered the time.
“Hey,” Laura said reluctantly. “Don’t get too carried away. The pack is coming over for breakfast.”
“Right.” Roy stood up, pushed the curtain aside, and leaned out to check her watch. “We’ve got half an hour. If we allow ten to get dressed, we’ve got twenty. That’s plenty of time for eighteen mice on a golden throne. You said it was your favorite.”
Laura laughed and pulled him back to her. “A mouse per minute, huh? Bring it on.”
***
A note from Lia Silver
Thank you for buying my book! If you’d like to be alerted by email when I release my next book, please click here to be added to my mailing list. I plan to write DJ’s story next. You will only be emailed when I have a new book out.
Please consider reviewing Laura’s Wolf on Amazon or Goodreads or anywhere else, even if you only write a line or two. Reviews help others find my stories, and so allow me to keep writing.
The poem Roy recalls in chapter three is “Chance Encounter,” by Katsumi Tanaka. The song “Pretty Boy Floyd the Outlaw” is by folk singer Woody Guthrie. The concept of scent names originated in A Companion to Wolves, by Elizabeth Bear and Sarah Monette, but my specific use of them was inspired by the works of Dira Sudis. The Rifleman’s Creed was written by Major General William H. Rupertus.
Afterword: About PTSD
I work as a therapist, specializing in the treatment of PTSD. My work inspired me to write this book.
PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is an anxiety disorder caused by trauma. Long after the trauma is over, the mind and body of a person with PTSD continue to react as if the trauma is happening now.
PTSD has become fairly well-known in America due to the veterans who acquired it in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. However, it can occur after any trauma, not just combat. Rape and sexual assault, child abuse and neglect, domestic violence, car accidents, natural disasters, being the victim of or a witness to violence, and other traumatic events can all cause PTSD.
If you have PTSD, it doesn’t mean that you’re weak, flawed, or “crazy.” It means that you’ve gone through a terrible experience and it affected you. PTSD can affect anyone, no matter how strong or brave they are, just like even the toughest person can break their leg if they fall off a balcony. Audie Murphy, one of the most decorated soldiers in American history, had PTSD. Roy’s symptoms are based on his.
PTSD is a condition with a wide range of possible effects. I tried to reflect that in writing this book; Roy, Laura, and the members of the pack all experienced trauma, but have very different reactions and symptoms.
Roy’s physical symptoms—trembling, sweating, headaches, nausea, exhaustion, difficulty swallowing, and so forth—are common in PTSD. They’re caused by the nervous system getting stuck in “fight for your life” mode. The fight/flight/freeze response is the body’s system for enabling you to make an extreme effort to save your life. It kicks in during trauma, even if it isn’t literally a life-or-death situation. If you spend enough time in that state or have one sufficiently severe experience of it, your nervous system may revert to it whenever something reminds you of the trauma.
People with PTSD may feel constantly nervous and edgy, be exhausted and have trouble concentrating, get extremely startled by noises or movements, have insomnia or nightmares, become very upset when they encounter something that reminds them of the trauma, try to avoid everything that reminds them of the trauma, or have disturbing images or memories of the trauma pop into their minds. They may feel disconnected from reality, as if they’re outside of their body or watching a movie.
They may feel depressed or damaged or guilty or ashamed, have stomach upsets or other physical symptoms, become preoccupied with staying safe and frightened of being traumatized again, feel emotionally numb, have difficulty trusting or connecting emotionally with others, have panic attacks or outbursts of anger, consider suicide, sleep with a weapon within reach, or abuse drugs or alcohol.
If any of this applies to you, please seek help. You don’t have to have all or even most of those symptoms to have PTSD.
PTSD is painful and frightening, but it is also extremely treatable. There are many different treatments that are very effective, but not all therapists know how to treat it. If you think you might have PTSD, I recommend that you consult a therapist who specializes in it.
Though for the purposes of the story, Roy and Laura and their wolf pack find healing by means other than therapy, the sense of hard-earned hope and happiness and emotional connection they have by the end is completely based on my real experiences with many trauma survivors—including myself.
Healing can be difficult and painful, and it takes time. But it’s worth sticking with it. You may have heard that once you get PTSD, you will have it for the rest of your life. In fact, some people do recover completely. Others find that most of their symptoms go away but a few persist, though usually at a far less intense level. Still yet others have some symptoms return in periods of extreme life stress, then go away when their stress levels return to normal.
PTSD is not the end of the world. Many people have gone from feeling that their life has been ruined to regaining their happiness, connections to others, and sense of security. I did. You can too.
For a clear, helpful, easy-reading book on the topic, I recommend I Can’t Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors, by Aphrodite Matsakis. If you’ve been raped or sexually assaulted, or know someone who has, RAINN has a good list of resources. If you’re a veteran or are close to one, the Wounded Warrior Project has many resources, and Give an Hour offers free therapy.
About the Author
The author works as a therapist, specializing in the treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD.) “Lia Silver” is a pen name used to separate her writing career from her therapy career.
When she isn’t working, reading, or writing, she enjoys cooking, hiking, horseback riding, martial arts, and cuddling her cats.
Her email is liasilvershifter@yahoo.com. Feel free to contact her. She loves hearing from her readers.
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Our sister publisher, Night Garden Press, publishes lesbian romance and erotic romance. Cayenne Press publishes erotica of all varieties.
Table of Contents
Chapter One: Caged Wolf
Chapter Two: Escape from LA
Chapter Three: Candle-lit Dinners and Walks on the Beach
Chapter Four: Snowed In
Chapter Five: Cold Beer and Remote Control
Chapter Six: Roy’s Story: One Tough Wolf
Chapter Seven: Sleeping Arrangements
Chapter Eight: Pillow Talk
Chapter Nine: Laura’s Story: The Choice
Chapter Ten: Easy, Gentle, Slow
Chapter Eleven: A Walk in the Woods
Chapter Twelve: Road Trip
Chapter Thirteen: The Lair
Chapter Fourteen: Fifteen Years of Tears
Chapter Fifteen: Run with the Wolves
Chapter Sixteen: Guinness
Chapter Seventeen: Ten Percent
Chapter Eighteen: Rescue Mission
Chapter Nineteen: The Wall
Chapter Twenty: A Thousand Times Under Fire
Chapter Twenty-One: The Pack
Chapter Twenty-Two: DJ
Chapter Twenty-Three: Eighteen Mice
Afterword: About PTSD