“Divorced.” I crossed my arms and stared ahead. I didn't know how to explain Brian to Noah. Not in a way that he'd understand without giving him the wrong impression.
“So, one of your would-be older brothers and next door protector is a divorced guy with a kid, who works in a bar?” Noah chuckled again and shook his head. But his chuckle didn't sound like he thought it was funny. It was filled with irony and irritation.
“Pull over here.” I pointed. I couldn't wait to get out of the car. I didn't want a confrontation with Noah over Brian, and that's where the conversation was headed.
“And now I'm supposed to take you into some bar instead of driving up the canyon?” Noah half-slammed the car into park.
“You can stay here. I'll be right back.” I opened the door and jumped out, hoping to avoid a confrontation.
“Or, you can stay here, save yourself from going in there, and I'll be right back.” I could tell that's what he wanted.
I looked back through the car door at him. “Noah, you're being silly.” I laughed, even though I didn't really feel like laughing. I wanted to get Brian the message so he could go home to Nathan. I started to walk.
Noah jumped out, took two jogging steps toward me, and put his arm tightly around me. “Leigh, you're not twenty-one. You're going to have to let me go in and get him.”
I stopped just outside the front door, defeated.
“Please be nice.” I touched his shoulder so he'd know I wasn't trying to be mean.
“I'm not the one who's had a problem being nice, Leigh. The guy practically accosted me for making one small comment.” He jerked open the door. He was referring to Brian reacting so strongly on the porch.
I hated being stuck outside. Noah walked inside before I had a chance to say anything else. What would I have said even if I did have a chance to say something? He didn't mean to yell at you the other day? He actually thinks you're great? Neither would be true. I folded my arms over my chest and leaned against the brick siding, the noise of music coming through the thick walls.
It took forever. I started to pace. I didn't mean to pace. It just sort of happened.
“Look, Noah, not all of us have the luxury of a free ride through school. Leave it alone.” Brian's words were harsh. I could tell he was angry, but he controlled his volume well.
I looked up at him, and he stopped just before running into me.
Brian put his hand on my shoulder. “Thank you for coming. I'm on my way home.” His brown eyes softened a little as he spoke.
I reached out to touch his arm, but he broke away and took off at a jog down the street to his car.
“What did you do?” I turned to Noah.
He held his hands in the air. “I don't know why you're automatically accusing me.”
“Because Brian doesn't get mad, not like that.” I put my hands on my hips.
“Well, his outburst on the porch the other day is enough proof against that.” Noah walked past me. “And I guess that clears up how you feel.” He didn't turn his head toward me. He simply continued to his car.
“Noah!” I ran a few steps to catch up. “Please, wait. I think you're getting the wrong idea here, and I really don't want you to get the wrong idea.” He couldn't walk away like this.
He stopped and stood for a moment before turning toward me. “And what idea do you think I have?”
“I…” But I didn't know what to say. I stepped toward him, wanting to feel him close to me, especially since I suddenly felt like he didn't want to be. I slid my arms around his waist and slowly put my face against his so I could kiss him just below his ear. “I think you feel like I want to be somewhere other than here.” I kissed him again. “And I don't.”
He studied my face slowly as I pulled away. He reached his hands up and put them on my neck, brushing his thumbs on my cheeks. I closed my eyes and felt his lips on mine.
“Why don't we go back to your place and snuggle up together on the couch?”
“You never want to be at my place.”
“Well, I want to be close to you, and late at night on a street in downtown doesn't seem like the best place for it.” He took my hand, and we started walking to his car.
“Thanks. For all of this.” I let go of his hand and slid my arm around him, sidling in closer so he could put his arm around me.
He kissed my forehead. “’Cause I love you.”
twenty-eight
“I can't believe you talked me into this.” I stepped out of Noah's car onto the sidewalk.
“It's just dinner.” He took my hand and pulled me close to him.
“It's not just dinner. It's dinner with your parents.” I checked my reflection in the closed storefront we'd parked next to. I'd gone for simple. Noah had given me very little to go on aside from his mother being perpetually overdressed. I wore four-inch stacked black heels and a slim black pencil skirt. I'd made my blouse from the material that had been given to me by Noah's aunt. I figured I could mention that if I didn't have anything else to say.
“You've already met my dad.” He put my hand through his arm and started down the sidewalk.
I glanced in storefront windows every chance I got, looking for something on me to be out of place. I tripped once, not watching where I stepped.
“Leigh.” He stopped us. “Relax. They just want to meet you.” His hand came to my cheek.
I closed my eyes and nodded.
“I've never seen you like this. It's cute.” He leaned toward me and put his lips against mine.
“Careful.” I pulled away. “You might smudge me.” I didn't want to be smudged, especially not from kissing—not just before meeting his parents.
He laughed. “Again, relax. They're going to love you.”
“Yeah.” I took in a breath and then slowly let it back out.
“You look amazing. Really. I'm so glad you're not one of those girls who just lets themselves go when they get to school. You know, put on the college ten?”
What? I knew I was supposed to be “putting on the college ten.”
“This is it.” He stopped.
“PF Chang's?” My mind went from the shallowness of Noah's earlier comment to the fact that we were at the restaurant. Where we'd eat dinner. With his parents. Would I be able to take a deep breath all night? Could I now?
“I told you that. My dad wanted casual.”
“Right.” PF Chang's didn't really fall under casual dining for me, but it obviously did for them. Noah had probably told me a lot of things, but it hadn't made much of a difference. I'd been a nervous wreck since he'd told me his parents would be in town for a night or two—over a week ago.
“I love you. I want you to be comfortable with my family, you know?” He put his arm around my shoulders. “It's just dinner.”
“You keep saying that…” I started to bite my lip but then remembered that I might smear my lipstick.
Noah stepped ahead and opened the door for me.
“Leigh!” Noah's dad smiled at me as soon as I stepped inside. “It's great to see you again.”
“Thank you.” I looked back toward Noah, who nodded at me in encouragement. Some amount of relief crept in with his smile.
Noah's dad pulled me into a hug. It felt so strange to put my arms around someone I didn't know.
“And this is my wife, Sandra.” He stepped aside to reveal the unearthly beautiful woman behind him. Her dark hair fell over her shoulders like smooth satin. Her skin was creamy perfection, and her dark brown eyes looked at me through thick lashes. She was thinner than me and looked like someone who should be in movies or on TV. She had that intangible quality of someone completely unattainable. My chest dropped a little. She would be more stunning straight out of the shower than I could ever hope to be, no matter the amount of preparation I did.
“It's nice to finally meet you, Leigh.” She held out her hand for me to shake.
I took it firmly, but it was not the thing to do. Her hands were small, and she barely grasped
my hand in hers. “You too.” I nodded, immediately lightening my grip.
Noah's dad took my hand and slid it through his arm. An unexpected but nice gesture. Noah immediately stepped in line with his mom, and we started to our table.
“What took you two so long?” Noah's dad teased.
I glanced back at Noah. Please don't say you were waiting for me.
“The drive took longer than I planned.” Noah winked at me.
His mom's gaze shifted between us, and I looked ahead. I knew she'd caught our exchange.
We walked into one of the small banquet rooms.
“I thought this was only for big groups.” I looked around at the long table and big windows.
Sandra laughed.
“When we come here, we usually just pay for the room, it makes dinner quieter,” Richard said. Like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“Oh.” I sat next to Noah, grateful for the comfort of him next to me.
“So, what are you working toward in school?” Sandra asked.
“Don't grill the poor girl,” Richard said.
“No, it's fine.” I set my hands in my lap, unsure of what to do with them. “I started out in architecture, but now I'm doing something in theater—costume design or clothing design.” It suddenly felt like a lame thing to get a degree in.
“Leigh is a genius at the sewing machine.” Noah rested his arm on the back of my chair. “She's sure to be a famous clothing designer one day if she wants to be.”
I looked at Noah, completely flattered. I didn't realize he thought about my sewing that way.
“Hmm.” Sandra didn't look impressed.
“I just…” I started to say that I was too tired and still recovering, and architecture just didn't work out, but that didn't feel safe.
His parents both looked at me expectantly.
“It seemed that if something comes naturally to me, I should use it.” I shrugged. It's what both Jaron and Brian suggested.
“But college is such an opportunity for you to stretch yourself.” Sandra looked at me intently across the table.
“Oh, come on, Mom.” Noah half laughed. “I'm doing theater, and it doesn't look like I'll finish.”
Her eyes turned to Noah, full of pride and adoration. “Well, honey, that's because you're about to do something that most kids with a degree can't do.”
“True.” He smiled wide at his mom first and then at me.
I felt sick. I knew right then that no one would be good enough for Noah. I thought about my wonderful but completely normal family. It felt as though I wouldn't be able to come up with any part of my life that was equal to their son.
“Excuse me.” I stood up, and both Noah and his dad jumped to their feet. “I'll be right back.” I smiled at everyone in turn before walking out of the room.
I needed a moment by myself before going back in there.
“Can I help you, miss?” A waitress stopped next to me.
“Restroom?” Did my voice sound okay? Because I felt like I shook, just a little, from the inside.
“That way.” She pointed to the closest corner.
I walked straight into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, and at any other time I would have felt beautiful. But after meeting Noah's mother, I felt plain. I turned to the left and back to the right. I sucked in my stomach, but not much happened. I was about as skinny as I'd ever be without being sick. I took a few deep breaths in the hopes it would calm my anxiety and walked back out.
I opened the door of our private room, and it was silent, a sure sign they'd been talking about me.
“You were gone, so we just ordered. I hope that's okay.” Noah stood up to hold the chair while I sat.
“Thanks. It's fine.” I folded my hands in my lap, clasping them together. I tried to push the nerves away again, but it wasn't working.
“So, this is your first year of school. You must be eighteen? Almost nineteen?” His dad smiled.
“Almost twenty.” Then I realized Noah might not have said anything about my year off of school. We should have talked more before coming to dinner with his parents.
“And this is your first year of school?” Sandra's eyebrows went up.
“I… I took a year off.” I looked over at Noah to read his expression. Maybe I'd know whether he'd said something. Though I already knew the answer. I couldn't imagine forgetting that my son's girlfriend had cancer.
Noah's dad laughed, “What did you do with yourself for the year? Do some wild trip across Europe or something?”
I glanced at Noah again. He rested his hand on mine.
“I was sick.”
“And that kept you from a whole year of school?” Sandra had the same expression of disbelief and disapproval she'd had when I'd told her my age.
“She had cancer, Mom. But she's all better now.” He smiled warmly at me and rubbed his hand over mine.
“What kind of cancer did you have?” Sandra leaned toward me over the table.
“It doesn't matter.” Noah's dad rested his hand on his wife's shoulder.
“It's fine.” I shook my head. I didn't want them to think I kept things from them. “Ovarian cancer.”
“And do they worry about that coming back?” Her eyebrows came together. It didn't feel like concern for me; it felt more like concern for her son.
“They do. I don't.” Why couldn't I lie? Why couldn't I just tell her no?
Noah's body went rigid. We hadn't talked about it much, or really at all. It was news to him too. I wanted to leave. He squeezed his hand over mine, trying to be reassuring, but he didn't meet my eyes.
“Here we are.” Noah's dad rubbed his hands together as our food was brought in.
I wasn't hungry. At least I didn't think I could eat. No one spoke as we dished our plates.
Sandra suddenly stared at me. “Can you have kids?”
“Sandra.” Richard's voice was soft, but he looked at her almost as intently as she was looked at me.
Dread washed through me as I shook my head.
She sat back in her chair.
Richard glanced between us a few times and finished dishing up his plate. “See, this is nice,” he smiled. “Casual like this.”
“It's great, Dad.” Noah's voice sounded forced.
“And your dad is an attorney, right?” Richard looked at me. “It's what I've done for years.”
“Yeah,” I breathed out, so thankful the topic had gone from me. “He's trying to retire, but he can't say no to people who need help, so he's still sort of working from an office in his house.”
“And you have an older brother.” Richard took a bite off his egg roll. Sandra listened intently.
I thought my night would feel a little like an interview, but it suddenly had the feel of an inquisition. “Two.”
“Two?” Noah's head jerked my direction.
He could have been more subtle. “My oldest brother is in Portland.” I took a small bite of fried rice and scrambled through my brain to find something to talk about or to ask them to take the focus off of me.
“Is he married? What does he do?” Sandra asked.
“I… I don't know. We don't, um… talk with him… much.” All the hardest and worst things from my life came out, and I didn't know whether or not they should. Was I allowed to lie to people Noah wanted me to meet? To be around? I didn't think so.
The rest of the evening passed in a blur. Fortunately, Noah started talking about his screen test for the movie he hoped for a part in, and the attention was, thankfully, taken from me.
We walked to the car in silence. Noah opened the door for me, and I slid in. The evening felt devastating. Aside from one of us simply standing up to leave, I felt like the night couldn't have gone worse. What would it mean for Noah and me?
“Leigh.” He leaned over and kissed me lightly on the cheek. I hadn't heard him get in the car. “What's wrong?” His eyes stayed on me as he leaned back and pulled onto the roadway.
“Do you h
ave to ask?” I pressed my fingers to the corners of my eyes in turn, willing myself to feel better.
“My dad loves you. My mom can be a little overbearing, but you'll get used to her.” He ran his hand up and down my thigh a few times, trying to make me feel better.
“Will I?” Will I have a chance to?
“I thought it went fine. I thought our night went fine.”
“What room were you in?” I felt my chest cave at the thought that he might not understand.
“Okay, it could have gone better.” I could see his jaw tighten and his lips pull together.
At least he'd admit that much. We drove in silence. The lights of Salt Lake slowly disappeared as we headed south. I wondered how much longer Noah and I would last? I wanted him around. I wanted his distraction, his fun way of looking at things, his life and all the exciting things that came with it. I didn't feel like I'd get to keep it.
“I didn't know about your older brother. That caught me by surprise.” His hand still rested on my leg. He gave me a little squeeze.
Tears sprang to the surface again. I blinked and looked at the ceiling of his car to keep them from spilling over. “And it took me by surprise that I had to tell your parents about being sick.”
He pulled off the freeway close to my apartment. “You're right. I should have told them. I guess I should have told them a lot of things. I can see how my mom was… I'm sorry.”
I didn't know what to say to him. I knew I didn't belong with someone like Noah. Someone who was so obviously a step above me. That realization should have started with his looks, his soon to be career, and the private jet. I should have kept my distance.
We came to a stop in my driveway. I jumped out of the car, needing to be alone for a while.
“Leigh.” He followed.
“Noah, there's no way your mom is ever going to like me.” I walked down the stairs and through my apartment door. Noah followed. Jaron and Megan lounged on the couch. They both turned from the TV and watched Noah and I cross the room. Great. I kept my eyes from making contact with either of them. I went straight for my room.
Noah walked in behind me and shut the door. “We could have some privacy if you hadn't leapt out of my car,” he whispered.
The Next Door Boys Page 19