Welcome to Hell Box Set: Paranormal Romantic Comedy (Mel Goes to Hell Series Book 123)

by Demelza Carlton

  Someone started beating down his door. "Lord Lucifer! I need to speak with you!"

  Mel shrugged. "You're still the Lord of Hell. I bet you have a fair few demons who are wondering what exactly you were doing with the strange angel."

  He pulled on his pants and stood up. "I'll let you rest. If you need anything, I'll be in the office next door, working as hard as I can to get the Hell out of here as soon as possible. With you."

  She smiled, nodded, then sighed and settled deeper into the pillows. A thin silk sheet covered all he wanted in this world and he hoped he'd never have to give her up again.

  Fifty

  Luce concentrated on concealing the chamber where she rested with an illusory concrete wall once more. She didn't deserve to have demons staring at her as she slept.

  When she was hidden from sight, he waved the office door open to allow the knocking nuisance entrance.

  He leaned on the desk, doing his best to sound stern even as his thoughts were still flying with Mel. The doorway stood empty. "Well? What's so urgent? Have you decided you don't need to speak to me after all?"

  The old ferryman, Charon, stepped hesitantly inside. His approach was painstakingly slow and he seemed to consider each step before he took it. Almost halfway to the desk, he stopped, lowered his hood and said, "Lord Lucifer, I came to ask about...the lady."

  The lady. Mel was all that and more. "What about the lady?"

  Charon twisted a fold of his robes in his hands. "The lady...I wanted to ask if she was safe and well."

  Luce stared at the man. "I don't see what it has to do with you. My business with the lady is hers and mine alone. Now, did you have something to tell me or not?"

  "Lord Lucifer, I do need to tell you something," Charon admitted. "You can't keep Lady Muriel here. She belongs on Earth, not in Hell."

  So the old ferryman knew her, though he'd never met her in the office. Had Mel managed to charm him here? Luce tried not to laugh. "Aren't you going to tell me not to try to turn her? That's the first thing everyone else said."

  Charon choked out a laugh. "You've got to be arrogant or stupid to think you can best her – and your arrogance always was legendary. Lord Lucifer, not even you can turn Lady Muriel. She's one who'll never fall. She's too sure of her path. And you'll have every angel in Heaven and on Earth come looking for her if you keep her here much longer. You can't hold the Domination of Heaven and Earth and Hell."

  For a moment, Luce was reminded of Michael. "What does my fall have to do with Mel? Michael said that, too – but he wasn't talking about Mel. He was talking about..."

  Charon howled with laughter, almost doubling over in mirth. "You're a fool, Lord Lucifer. You mean you didn't know..."

  "Well met, ferryman," Mel said softly. She stood before the illusion of a wall, draped only in a gold sheet. Luce's fingers itched to tear the sheet away from her body so he could see her in all her glory. "You never gave Luce my message that I was looking for him. You could have saved me a lot of time and a fair bit of trouble if you had."

  Charon's chin jutted out, showing his Adam's apple as he swallowed nervously. "I still hoped you'd turn back, Lady Muriel. This is no place for you, and I worried that he'd keep you as he tried to turn you. The world needs you above, not hidden away here, until he gave up."

  Mel strode to Luce's side. "Luce knows he can't keep me here and I won't stay long. He will come with me."

  Luce stared into Mel's eyes. She was right. Of course he would. How could he not?

  Charon started to laugh. "I didn't think it was possible for an angel to fall twice. Michael will have a fit when he finds out."

  "He already did," Mel admitted. "But he knows he's powerless to do anything about it."

  "You two are talking in riddles," Luce grumbled. "This is my office and I'm supposed to be in charge of this place."

  "Is he?" Charon asked Mel. She smiled and nodded. He turned to Luce. "Do you know who leads the choir of Hashmallim?"

  "Sure," Luce responded. "That's...Raphael, the archangel who's Mel's boss at the agency. He led them into battle against me when..."

  "No," Mel interrupted. "It's me, Luce. Raphael acts as my second in charge. He insisted that we needed to be present at the battle and he begged to be the one to lead them. Boys and their battles – I wouldn't stand and watch that idiocy. He took those who agreed with him. He left me a lot of work to do and no angels to do it. No wonder I summoned both you and Michael to Earth to speak to me when I found I couldn't leave." She looked almost angry. "If you'd bothered to accept my invitation, I could have saved you a lot of pain."

  Luce shook his head. "I didn't get any message from you, Mel. Never. I swear..." His memory gave him a kick. "Wait. One of the Grigori brought me a crazy message he said was from Michael. It made me laugh. Something about how I should go down to Earth before offering battle and beg some girl to help me..." He stared at her in horror. "Mel, I'm sorry. If I'd known..."

  "You've paid your penance, Luce. How many centuries have you served here? All you had to do was ask for my help and you finally did, on the floor of my little house. And Michael said you'd never find me, the Domination of Heaven and Earth, in such plain surroundings."

  Charon coughed. "I'll be going. Don't linger too long, Lady Muriel. The world needs you above, and soon."

  Mel smiled. "Oh, I know."

  Fifty-One

  Luce repeated the old ferryman's words and saw in Mel's expression that she knew his thoughts, too. Hell, she knew his soul. How could she not know what he was thinking?

  "I was sent here so that I'd never have the Domination of Heaven and Earth. Set upon by that bloody sword, forced to fall against my will to land, shattered, HERE. I wanted to prove that arrogant angel wrong. I could have control of Earth in legal contracts, because humans are stupid and they'd do anything for money. All along...the Domination of Earth wasn't a vague concept. It was YOU?" Luce kept his voice level for most of it, but the line of reasoning seemed too preposterous to be true.

  "Yes. The Domination of Earth is me and...Michael believed he was protecting me. If you sought my help...he foresaw that I would enter Hell." Mel's words were quiet and careful.

  "So he hid you. For centuries, he's hidden you. How could you go along with it? He sent me here – forced me to fall. Every other angel had a choice, yet I had none. And what was my crime? That he feared I'd take you from him?"

  Mel bowed her head. "They told me that you wanted me to guide you, and you alone. That you were evil and would use me for your own ends, which would not match mine. Michael, Raphael – those who witnessed your fall – they said you would confine me in Hell; that Michael had seen that in my future. If you found me, asked for my help...I would come here and you would never let me go. So I did what I had to – and hid from you. I can see the currents of future events – all bar those that involve me. I could only trust the foresight of others. I'm sorry."

  Luce's voice died and what came out was a hoarse whisper. "I didn't know you. I didn't know who you were or how important you could be. I never hunted for you, never wanted to hold you against your will. I never knew your name until you told me, Mel. I swear I never would have wanted you to share my fate – confined to a Hell you didn't deserve." He stared into her eyes, willing her to read his soul, if she hadn't already. "Please, believe me. I had no idea of any of what Michael accused me of wanting."

  "I didn't understand what he'd done until outside the gates of Heaven, Luce. They wouldn't even use my true name. Lying in your arms, I saw it all...but the only place I could make amends was in Heaven. I let my damaged body disintegrate and headed home to straighten out the tangled mess Michael had made. And when I returned to tell you...you'd gone. How could I not follow you into Hell? An innocent man has no place here." Mel looked determined. "I want you to come with me, to walk triumphantly into Heaven. To show them they were wrong. About you. About me. But only if you're willing."

  Luce snorted. "Mel, I've committed most of the sins the da
mned are in here for. Suicide. Murder. Betrayal. Lust. Bad counsel...and that's just this week. No one in their right mind will let me into Heaven. I should apply to Minos for my level assignment here..."

  "Angels aren't perfect, Luce," Mel began.

  "DON'T!" he snapped, breathing hard. "She...she said that. Angels aren't perfect, they're just better than everyone else..."

  Mel's eyes turned hard. "Persi. I'm going to have some serious words with that girl when I see her next. She should never have come here..." Her gaze softened. "She was misquoting me, Luce. I told someone once that angels aren't perfect, but we try to be. That's what sets us apart. The soul I see inside you belongs in Heaven. Perhaps not in the highest ranks of angels yet, but we all have to aspire to something. They won't keep you out with me at your side."

  Luce managed a grin. "And you'd stay at my side this time? What if we run into more crazy, weapon-wielding mothers?"

  Mel's smile spoke of untold power. "Ah, but I have nothing and no one to hide from any more. They'll face Lady Muriel of the Hashmallim and not just Melody Angel. What I did to those dark souls here is nothing compared to what I can do."

  "And the gatekeepers – Michael with that damn sword and the dude in the dress?" Luce persisted.

  "They wouldn't dare challenge me if they have to acknowledge my rank, and they will." Mel held out her hands to him. "Come to Heaven with me, Luce. You offered to show me Heaven once, on Earth. While that was wonderful, I can show you a time far more sublime in Heaven." Her wicked grin returned.

  "How can any man refuse an offer like that?" Luce replied. "When do we leave?"

  Mel looked down. "After I've had another bath. It looks like I missed a bit of mud before...and I'm not taking any part of Hell home with me."

  Fifty-Two

  Before he left, Luce had one final matter to attend to: finding the harpy who'd attacked Mel so he could make the bitch pay.

  Lili gave him a searching look as she led two other harpies into his office. "I take it you're feeling better?" she asked, glancing around.

  "I have no idea what you're talking about," Luce replied.

  She smiled. "So you've broken the new toy I sent you already? Impressive."

  Mel. She thought he'd harmed Mel and she seemed happy about it. Was Lili the one who'd attacked his angel? Surely not. Lili wouldn't have sent the girl to him if she'd already damaged the goods. But she'd seen Mel, so she must know something.

  "Time for an update on Level Seven. Do you have any issues to report?"

  Lilith, Jezebeth and Ananiel exchanged glances but didn't seem to want to respond.

  "I heard Level Eight's looking for more personnel again. I'll volunteer all three of you until someone else more appropriate chooses to take your place," Luce offered lazily, watching all three and wondering which of them would break first. One of them had to know who'd hurt Mel.

  "The heating system's not operating as well," Jezebeth volunteered. "Meg on Six must've turned one of the graves into a hot tub again. I wouldn't mind if she invited us, but she only invites men, and when she's done with them, she boils them alive. I don't see why she has a hot tub and we don't."

  Luce nodded, scribbling down notes. "I'll send one of the engineering demons to take a look. The pipes might just need replacing again. Anything else?"

  Lilith cleared her throat. "We need replacements for some of the barbed whips. They seem to wear out far faster than the smaller floggers. I'm not sure if it's overuse or poor workmanship."

  "More whips, too." Luce scrawled another line. "Anything unusual?"

  "There are rumours that the illusions on Level Two have failed and the place has turned into a mass orgy," Jezebeth said, glancing at Ananiel. "Right, Ana?"

  Ananiel glared at her. "I wouldn't know anything about orgies or Level Two. I've been working hard in Level Seven the whole time."

  Jezebeth burst out laughing. "The Hell you have! For the last two days, you've been practising double stuffing on Two with any men that'd have you. I heard you even had the new fallen angel twins – at the same time! I'm surprised you can walk after all that sex, let alone work. No wonder you just mess with the women on Seven, and the little ones, at that, like the one you carved up today – you're too spineless to dominate a man."

  It was Ananiel, Luce realised. She'd attacked Mel.

  "I do my fair share of torturing damned souls!" Ananiel shrieked. "You take the floggers home to use on your horse of a husband. I've seen you! Just because I don't have a permanent partner, you're making me look like some sort of slut!"

  Lilith sighed. "Ana, I counted twenty-five men yesterday and thirty the day before that. You don't need any help from the rest of us to make you look promiscuous. All you have to do is open your skinny legs. Lord Lucifer doesn't need to know about your insecurities. I'm sure I can reassign you to work in the office on the surface if you wish. You can go back to running your little illegal brothel in the disabled toilets at the food court, in between hiring more office whores for the CEO to bend over his desk."

  Luce wondered when they'd be finished with their silly spat. Hell, he could hardly believe he'd accepted Ananiel's services or that of any of her stable of office girls. After Mel, he couldn't contemplate even touching one of them again, least of all the crazy Ananiel. His thoughts strayed to Mel, behind that door, who'd be lovingly soaping that sweet skin of hers, like a perfect, living statue in his private pool. And she was waiting for him to finish so he could join her. He couldn't wait.

  Silence fell and Luce dragged his eyes back to the bitching harpies. "I'll be shifting the suicides to Level Eight for clean-up duty. They're not much use to you on Seven, are they? That'll give you more space for usurers – we seem to be getting a Hell of a lot of them the last few centuries. Does that work for you, Lili?" He stared at the harpies – now reduced from three to two. "Where's Lili?"

  "She left," Jezebeth replied. "Can we go, too? I have another six souls to torture today and Ana's behind again."

  Luce considered this before saying, "I'll speak to the imps about the issues on Two. Ana, you're confined to Seven and if I hear a single tale about you turning the tables on the damned souls so that you're the one being tortured, I'll send you down to Eight permanently. This is Hell. Damned souls aren't supposed to enjoy themselves. Now get back to work." He waved them away and both harpies hurried out.

  Alone, Luce had an important decision to make: to join Mel now or be responsible and sort out Level Two and the imps first? Luce knew what he wanted, and it most definitely involved Mel. Duty or one Hell of a lot of pleasure? Such a tough choice.

  Fifty-Three

  Mel lingered to enjoy the cool cascade over her shoulders for just a little longer. She would simply have to find similar bathing places on Earth, if she could. Small streams created such cascades the world over, surely – she'd never paid them much attention before. She thought about seeking some out in Korea – though she'd settle for hot springs in their cold climate – and wondered if she should take Luce with her. Perhaps it was too soon for such things.

  She thought she saw movement out of the corner of her eye and called out, "Show yourself. If you were after a glimpse of my body, you've had time to grab an eyeful as I travelled through Hell. I have nothing to hide."

  A shadow stepped from behind a column. "You've certainly been showing off, angel. You have the male half of Hell talking about you, and a fair few of the women, too. No one can believe an angel would cross Hell just to see its lord."

  Mel strained her eyes to recognise the face that matched the familiar voice. "Lili?"

  The red-skinned female demon who stepped into the light resembled Lilith, though any sign of humanity was gone, as was evident in her clearly visible horns. "Did you think you were the only woman he's had here? There's something about him in the water that's made so many female angels fall that I lost count a long time ago."

  "I don't need to count," Mel replied with a smile. "It's all in the Book of Judgement, outside He
aven's gates. Over a hundred and fifty thousand, I believe, though perhaps he didn't bring all of them here." She shrugged. "As long as I don't have to bathe with them all, I don't mind."

  "He's not yours. He'll never be yours, because he's always loved me," Lilith snarled.

  "Who?" Mel asked, confused.

  "Lord Lucifer. He's mine – has been for millennia. I've stood by his side through the centuries, his right hand and his partner in all his grand plans. He'll discard you when he's done using you, yet another fallen angel...just like all the others. So fresh-faced they hardly recognise who he is before he's turned them into his personal playthings. That's when he throws them away – to be harpies in Hell, or errand girls in his office." Lilith stepped to the edge of the pool, dipping her hoof into the water. "He's mine," she repeated.

  "No," Mel said softly. "He's...his. Luce is his own man, neither yours nor mine. Demons can't love, Lili. He can't have loved you. I'm sure he's grateful for all your help and your companionship through so many dark years, but he couldn’t love you. And you can't love him."

  "You know nothing, you little angel bitch!" Lilith screeched, launching herself at Mel. The demon was so fast, she blurred as she hurtled through the air.

  Fifty-Four

  Sighing, Luce decided to deal with work before he joined Mel. Hopefully, he'd have longer to spend with her, without interruptions. What demon would dare invade his personal bathroom?

  He summoned the imps' leader, then sat back to wait. Despite their appearance, he never mistook them for demons – they were his allies. How in Hell was he going to keep them amused now that he only wanted Mel? Even the thought of those voyeurs watching him with the woman he loved put him off. Especially as they communicated in a form of soul-to-soul telepathy. The thought of them in his head was worse than them watching him and Mel.

  "Greetings, Lord. Where sexy Lady?" Sptlk's amusement coloured his soul-voice.

  Luce's mind immediately brought up the delightful picture of Mel's naked body submerging in the pool. He quickly shut it down, not wanting Sptlk to see her naked or to know his weakness for the angel.