Landon & Shay - Part Two: (The L&S Duet Book 2)

by Brittainy Cherry

  He kept lying, and I kept at him.

  “Please, Landon, let me stay tonight. Just until morning, and then you can kick me out. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

  He stared at me with his shoulders back, showcasing his strength, but in those blue eyes of his, I saw his pain. It came in flashes, and he oftentimes tried to blink it away. His heart was broken for Karla, and I wasn’t sure how it would ever heal if he kept everything inside.

  The truth was, the pain hurt less when you let it out. Then it wouldn’t have time to simmer too long and burn you.

  “I’m okay,” he whispered, this time his voice a little shakier than before.

  “Yes, I know, but still,” I took his hands into mine, “Let me stay.”

  He took in a deep inhale and nodded slowly. His forehead pressed against mine and he closed his eyes. “Can you lay with me until I fall asleep? I don’t want to talk, but if you can lay beside me, that would be great.”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  He led me to the bed and offered me one of his T-shirts and a pair of shorts. It was way too big for me, but somehow it seemed to fit perfectly against my skin.

  He lay down in the bed and I allowed him to wrap his arms around me. Even though I was there to make him feel better, somehow, I ended up being the one who felt safe. In his arms, I felt it happening. I felt my cold heart start to defrost, all because of the man I once loved.

  The room was filled with silence, even though neither of us were sleeping. I knew his mind was running fast, and I didn’t want to blink just in case he needed me to remind him to breathe.

  I didn’t know how long we’d stayed in that position, pressed against one another, quiet as night. I didn’t know how long his mind kept spinning. I didn’t know how his thoughts were being tamed. But the moment I heard his breathing calm, and realized he was sleeping, I too, faded into a slumber.

  The next few days, I’d made it my responsibility to check in on Landon and make sure he was keeping his head above the water.

  Shay: How’s your heart today?

  Landon: Somehow still beating.

  Shay: Do you need company?

  Landon: It’s okay. I’m sure you’re busy.

  Shay: Too bad, I’m already at your hotel door, so you might as well let me in.

  As he opened it, he smiled wide. “Not going to lie, I’m pretty happy you’re here.”

  Me too, Landon. Me too.

  We headed into his hotel room. Landon shut the door behind me as I took off my shoes. “I was planning to order takeout, sit on your couch and do nothing. If you’re down for that, I’ll make sure to order enough food for two.”

  “That sounds perfect,” he said.

  I raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to watch Friends?”

  “Hell yeah, I want to watch Friends.” He grinned ear to ear and headed to the couch to take a seat. I grabbed my phone to order dinner and sat down beside him. We ended up ordering more Chinese food than we could’ve ever possibly eaten, and as he watched Friends, I watched him.

  It felt like the olden days. When we’d eat junk food and watch Friends and forget that the world outside of us was crumbling for a little while. We’d laugh, and snuggle, and hold onto each other in order to keep our broken puzzles together.

  As we sat there, Landon didn’t look like one of the world’s best actors. He looked like a regular human being, enjoying his time with me.

  I pulled my knees into my chest and hugged them. “What happened to you, Landon?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “All those years ago… What happened to you? Why did you disappear?” He lowered his head and flinched a small bit. Obviously nervous about the question. “You don’t have to answer.”

  “Yes, I do. Even though it’s still sometimes hard to bring up, I want you to know. It matters to me that you know the truth even though it’s hard to speak about.”

  I shut off the television, moved in closer to him, and took his hands into mine. “I’m not going anywhere regardless of what you say. I’m here. I’m listening.”

  He swallowed, his Adam’s apple moving against his throat, and he began speaking. “After my father passed away, I lost my way, but I tried to pretend I was fine. I didn’t want to worry people anymore. My father’s words kept playing over and over again in my head, that I’d let people down. That there was a time limit for those people who cared about my issues. That I was weak and would end up alone. So, I tried to push away my depression instead of facing it.”

  He turned to face me and gave me a broken smile as he continued. “I thought if I kept working nonstop, I’d be okay. I figured if I stopped going to therapy and stopped dragging up my past, I’d be fine. I could focus on work and nothing else. I could put on a mask, appear happy to the world, and avoid dealing with the darkness inside me.”

  Oh, Landon…

  I knew that had to be it, but still it broke me as it happened.

  “I, um, I became so good at pretending I was happy that I stopped taking my medicine. I assumed I didn’t need it and could keep the act going strong. But…it turned out I couldn’t. I remember being at a party one of the cast members was throwing. It was a stupid thing, really. All the actors were much more seasoned than me, and they were reading mean tweets that were posted about them, having a good laugh.

  “Then it came my time to read my mean tweets, which I’d need looked into, and fuck…” He took a deep breath and rubbed his fingers against mine. “That was hard. Not only was I dealing with my father’s criticism, but now I had strangers around the world telling me how I wasn’t good enough, and I allowed it to crush me. ‘Landon Pace is a wannabe actor and can’t deliver a line to save his life.’ ‘The world would be better if Landon Pace wasn’t on this earth because that movie was a bomb.’ ‘Landon Pace is a piece of shit who no one would miss if he died.’ The list went on and on, and I couldn’t handle it, not without my meds, or my real people who cared about me. I went home with dark, dark thoughts. Darker than I’d ever had. Next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital bed, after having my stomach pumped.”

  “Oh my gosh, Landon.” My hands shot to my chest as he unfolded the story I wasn’t ready to hear. “You overdosed?”

  He nodded. “Not on purpose, but yeah. I’d come home with my mind moving a million miles per hour, and I took my depression pills to try to slow down my thoughts. It didn’t help that I was drunk off my ass.”

  “I would’ve never thought… Every time I saw you on the internet, you looked so happy.”

  “The joys of acting,” he joked. “No one can tell when you’re really happy or just playing a role.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “We were already so far into post-production with my film with Sarah, and they didn’t want the overdose scandal to get out. So, they redirected the narrative and made it appear as if Sarah and I were a couple. After those pictures, I checked into an inpatient psych center like the one Karla’s at, and got back on track with my meds. I started seeing Dr. Smith again, too. It was the worst period of my life, and I had to fight like hell to come back from it, but I did.”

  A heavy pit of confusion settled in the bottom of my stomach. “Why didn’t you come back to me? Why did you push me away? I would’ve understood. You could’ve explained it all to me.”

  His blues looked up at me with a gentleness I hadn’t seen before. He tilted his head and shrugged. “You deserved to be happy. When I showed up to explain things, I knew I was too late. You were laughing with some guy, and I was still pretty messed up in the head. I knew if I saw you, there wouldn’t be a lot of laughing for a while. There would be a lot of pain, of struggle with you trying to hold me up while I fell apart, and I didn’t want that for you. I didn’t want to be your burden anymore.”

  Some guy?

  My mind started racing back to my college years, trying to pinpoint what guy he was talking about. The only guy who came to mind
was Jason, and we were never anything more than friends even though he wanted more. He’d come over a few times to see if we could make something work, but nothing ever developed into more than friendship.

  “Landon.” I moved in closer to him, taking his hands into mine. My forehead rested against his as his breaths brushed against my skin. “I would’ve taken our hard days over happy days with any other person in this world.”

  “I know. That’s why I had to walk away. You would’ve given up your happiness to swim in my darkness, and I didn’t want that for you. I wanted to be able to give you the happy days more than the sad, so I had to walk away. I had to get right with my mind and learn how to lean on myself than lean on you. But do understand…even though I had a lot of bad days, the worst day of my life was when I had to walk away from you.”

  Our hands clasped together, and I closed my eyes as his words embedded themselves into my heart and soul. I moved in even closer to the point that I was in his lap, and his hands were wrapped around me.

  Our lips brushed against one another as my heart began pounding wildly within my chest. “Tell me your biggest truth, and I’ll tell you mine.” I sighed against his mouth, gentle kisses rolling against him.

  “I never stopped missing you,” he confessed, his hands making small circles against my lower back. “I never stopped dreaming about you,” he whispered as his mouth moved to my neck. “I never stopped wanting you,” he promised. “And I never stopped loving you.”

  “I love you, too, Landon,” I confessed, feeling so raw, exposed, and protected in his arms. “More than words, I love you. I tried to bury it. I tried to delete it from my heart, but that heart? It still beats for you. It always has, and it always will.”

  “Give me another chance to prove to you that I’m man enough to care for your heartbeats?” His voice was timid and low as he locked eyes with me.

  “Yes, but please…” I took a deep inhalation. “Go slow.”

  Later that night, he led me to my bedroom. He undressed my body as I undressed his, and we lay naked and exposed to one another. Our truths displayed with every touch we shared. As he thrust into me that night, I felt it. I felt his warmth, his promises, and his love, and I hoped to the heavens above that he felt mine, too.

  34

  Shay

  One Thursday morning, Greyson called and asked me to come visit Karla. I was a bit surprised when the call came through, because I was certain Karla wouldn’t want anything to do with me due to my connection with Eleanor. I headed to the clinic as soon as the call came through.

  My nerves were through the roof as I walked down the hallway toward Karla’s room. When I looked into her space, I smiled as I saw her sitting at the desk with her notebook and pen, scribbling away.

  I hadn’t known what she was writing, but I was happy to see her pouring words onto the page. No matter what, written word had a way to heal broken souls.

  “Hey, you,” I said, making Karla look up from her notebook.

  Her eyes widened with joy, and she came limping in my direction. “Hi.”

  She stood in front of me for a moment, rubbing her hand up and down her arm as she stared at the floor.

  I smiled. “Well, are you going to hug me or what?”

  A breath pushed through her lips as if she was waiting for permission to give me a warm embrace. She wrapped her arms around me and held on tight.

  “I thought you hated me,” she whispered.

  “What? Why in the world would I hate you?”

  “Because I broke my dad and Eleanor up. I didn’t mean to, really. I’m just…trying to figure out everything. I can’t understand how my dad could be happy with someone else after losing my mother. I mean, I really like Eleanor. She’s a good person. I’m just…I feel like I was betrayed,” she confessed.

  I thought back to my own mother, and the betrayal I felt when she announced she was engaged to David. Instant guilt hit me, because I knew Eleanor and Greyson had a true connection. Maybe my mother and David did, too.

  I just couldn’t see it until I looked at someone else’s storybook and saw the similarities to mine.

  “If there’s anything I know about life, it’s the fact that love is complicated,” I explained, taking a seat at Karla’s table. “I’m still trying to figure out how it works myself, but if it’s true love, you’ll all figure it out. I swear.”

  “I’ve been writing a lot lately,” she told me. “It’s been helping me figure out what’s going on in my head. And I think I’m kind of getting it. I’m thinking of myself as a character like in my books. I’m the heroine, who has a lot of character arcs to me. I have flaws, but I’m trying to see how they make me beautiful.”

  I smiled. “I think that’s beautiful, Karla.”

  “Maybe you can read my story when I finish it?”

  “I’d be honored. I’m proud of you for doing the hard work. For digging deep and looking inside yourself for answers.”

  She nodded. “Uncle Landon has been helping me a lot with that. He said the end goal is happiness, and that’s all I want. I want to be happy again.”

  “And you will be. I promise. I can’t wait to see you soar.”

  “I’ve been making lists of things that make me happy. Like songs, and movies, and stuff. I think that’s helping me.”

  “That’s a really good idea. I think I might do the same thing for myself.”

  Perhaps it was time for me to study my own character arcs, because no matter how old one was, there was always room for growth.

  After I finished my time with Karla, I headed straight over to my mom’s house. When she opened the door, she had a frown on her face, obviously still upset for my childish behavior.

  “I’m sorry, Mom,” I told her, shaking my head. “I’m just so scared of love. I don’t know how it works, or how it moves, or how to stop heartbreak from coming. I reacted so poorly to hearing the news about David, and I am so sorry about that.”

  Her frown slowly began to turn around. “I did sort of spring it on you,” she confessed. “I could have prepared you and Mima for it a little more.”

  “That doesn’t change the fact that I reacted so poorly. I know what Dad put you through all those years ago, and I never want you to hurt like that again.”

  “I know. Believe me, I’ve spent so much time living in that world of anger that I’ve struggled with letting people back in. I don’t trust men—I still don’t as a whole and that’s something I’ll need to do some work on. But I do trust David. Shay…if you knew how he treated me, you’d never doubt his love. Your father’s love caged me, while David’s sets me free. I’m so happy,” she exclaimed, placing her hand against her chest. Her eyes welled up, but this time it was from her joy. My mom was…happy.

  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen her so happy. The happiness was pouring out of her soul. It landed in her eyes and sat against her lips.

  “Can you tell me more about him?” I asked.

  “Of course. I’ll need my maid of honor to know all the details, after all.”

  “I’m your maid of honor?”

  “Oh, come on, Shay.” She shook her head in disbelief. “As if I’d ever choose another.”

  Things were finally feeling as if they were coming back together around me, and I was so unbelievably thankful for that. Karla and I were going to work on getting back into our writing meetings. I asked Eleanor if it was okay if I did so, and she begged me to continue my work with Karla. She cared so much from a distance. I was certain that soon enough, she’d find her way back into Greyson’s world.

  Some things were simply meant to be.

  All was grand up until I showed up for work to a very unhappy actress.

  “What the hell is this?!” Sarah barked as I showed up to work. I walked into her trailer, and something about her crystals must’ve been off, because her energy was beyond erratic.

  “What’s what?” I asked, confused as ever.

  She stormed up to me with curler
s in her hair and her makeup half done, with straight up crazy eyes.

  “This,” she hissed, holding her phone in my face, showing me the photographs of Landon and me almost kissing in front of the yoga studio.

  I’d seen the photographs already, and there was only one thing I could think. “Well, at least I’m not throwing an iced latte,” I joked.

  Sarah didn’t find it very funny. “I told you to get close to him, so you could report back to me with information, Shay. Then I see this! How could you? I trusted you.”

  “To be fair, I told you I wasn’t very comfortable doing that for you. I didn’t want to get involved.”

  “Yes, well, it looks like you wiggled your way straight into his good graces. I’m going to have to let you go.”

  Wait, what?

  “Are you serious? Because of some tabloid magazine? We weren’t even going to kiss.”

  Sarah shrugged and waved me off as if I were nothing. “Yes, well, you should’ve thought about that before betraying me.”

  “I didn’t betray you,” I grumbled. “I just didn’t do exactly what you wanted me to do. Besides, I’m not Cyrano de Bergerac. I’m not going to push you into the arms of someone I care about.”

  “So, it’s true?” she asked. “You do care about him?”

  Of course, I cared. How could I not? He was my Satan, and I was his Chick.

  I’d always care for him, even if we never received our happily ever after. The last thing I wanted to do was push him straight into the arms of a lowkey crazy person.

  “None of that matters.”

  “You’re right, because you don’t matter. Do you really think you have a chance with Landon when I’m in the picture? You’re nothing in the grand scheme of things. You’re as replaceable as a pair of shoes. Sure, maybe you came around and reminded Landon of his past, but you’re not his future, and you never will be.”

  I narrowed my eyes at the grown woman standing in front of me, completely baffled by her actions. “Oh, give me a fucking break, Monica,” I groaned.