Boss Alpha: Boss #5

by Victoria Quinn

  I held her gaze for another moment before I finally turned my back to her. I hit the button and waited for the elevator to arrive, knowing she was still standing behind me. The minutes seemed to stretch on forever. Finally, the doors opened and I got inside.

  I hit the button and stared at the floor.

  The doors finally closed.

  And the weight of the end hit me. The elevator began its descent to the lobby, and I felt my stomach tighten in misery. Pain bubbled in my throat, and I couldn’t swallow the burn. My tongue felt too big for my mouth, and the grief choked me. Every breath I took didn’t seem to be enough.

  I recognized the sensation because I remembered the last time I felt it.

  When my mother died.

  But unlike then, I didn’t cry.

  I did my best not to, refusing to let her break me.

  But the burn reached my eyes, the moisture threatening to saturate my face.

  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and forced the emotions to disappear. I forced myself to straighten, to square my shoulders like a man. I loved Titan with all my heart, really loved her. I wasn’t just losing a woman. I was losing the one person who meant the world to me. But I couldn’t let that shake me. I had to be strong, to carry on. She wasn’t worth my tears, not when she wouldn’t choose me.

  When the doors opened in the lobby, I’d conquered my emotions.

  I was ready to go on.

  And hope I would find happiness again…someday.

  10

  Titan

  My penthouse was quiet for the next few days.

  There was no music. No TV. It was just me, surrounded by four walls of complete silence.

  And my painful thoughts.

  They never stopped.

  They haunted me, like ghosts in an old mansion. They followed me everywhere I went, suffocating me until I couldn’t fight them anymore. I cried in the shower a few times. I stuffed his old t-shirt into the back of my closet so I wouldn’t have to look at it again. I couldn’t sleep because my thoughts wouldn’t even stop there. When I drifted off, his face came into my vision, and I was jolted awake again.

  I wanted to drink—a lot.

  But I promised Hunt I wouldn’t. And just because we weren’t together anymore didn’t mean I would break that promise.

  I could allow myself one drink every few hours, but I knew I wasn’t strong enough to pace myself. The second the liquor touched my lips, it’d be all over. I’d drown myself in more alcohol than I did last time.

  Hunt wouldn’t like that.

  I sat on the couch in the dark with my laptop on the coffee table. I should be working, but I couldn’t focus. I didn’t go into work for the last five days. I had no idea if Hunt came by Stratosphere or not. Maybe he did but knew I needed space. Maybe he didn’t and assumed I was working like I usually was.

  Letting him go was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do.

  Somehow, it worse than losing my father.

  I wanted to believe every word Hunt said, and a part of me did. A part of me wanted to forget everything that happened and just start over. But I made a promise to Thorn. If I broke it, it would hurt our relationship. There was no way I could walk away without making him look like a fool to the entire world. I couldn’t do that to my best friend, especially when I was leaving him for someone who may have potentially betrayed me.

  Thorn never betrayed me.

  It would be an insult to a decade of friendship.

  So I didn’t ask Hunt to stay. I let him walk away, and once the elevator doors were closed, I grieved.

  I cried like it was my father’s funeral again.

  Thorn contacted me a few times, but I always brushed him off and said I was busy. We usually saw each other a few times a week, whether it was just for coffee or dinner. We talked about business most of the time, but lately, we’d been discussing the wedding.

  Ugh, I didn’t want to talk about the wedding anymore.

  His message popped up on my phone. I just picked up dinner. Can I stop by?

  Thorn was the person I wanted to face the least. If someone else asked how I was doing, it would be easy for me to keep a straight face and pretend everything was fine. But there wasn’t a single wall between Thorn and me. When he looked at me, he didn’t see my expression—he saw my soul. Not tonight. I’m wrapped up in a few things. I tossed my phone aside again, so depressed that I didn’t feel the least bit guilty for lying to him.

  Thorn’s message popped up on the screen. I’m coming up.

  Fuck, he knew something was wrong.

  My hair was pulled into a messy bun because I hadn’t showered in a few days. I was in baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt with a chocolate stain on it. I was a complete mess, not prepared for any guest.

  The doors opened two minutes later.

  I rose to my feet with dread in my chest. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to face him and say the painful words out loud.

  Thorn walked inside without a plastic bag of food. Maybe he’d lied about dinner altogether. Maybe he was just fishing for a reason to see me. He looked me up and down, eyeing my disgusting clothes and greasy hair. He stopped in front of me, and instead of making a smartass comment about the way I looked, he hugged me.

  I rested my face against his chest and closed my eyes.

  His strong arms wrapped around me, and he squeezed me tightly.

  It was nice not to be alone. It was nice to share the air with someone, to feel the pulse of another human being. He shared the pain with me even though he had no idea what crippled me.

  His hand moved up and down my back, and he rested his chin on my head. “Tell me what happened. Tell me you’re alright.” His voice was steady, but there was a hint of genuine terror in his tone. I knew he feared something worse was wrong since I never fell apart like this. The last time I did, I buried my father.

  “I’m not sick or anything like that…”

  He released a heavy sigh and squeezed me harder. “Oh, thank god. You scared me…”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Then what is it?” He pulled away so he could look me in the eye.

  I didn’t want to meet his gaze. I was never afraid to make eye contact with anyone, but now it was too difficult. I focused on his chest, the cotton fabric of his t-shirt. “Hunt and I stopped seeing each other. It’s over…” The second the words were out of my mouth, my eyes watered. I took a deep breath and tried to subdue the emotion, but it was too difficult to control. My breath was shaky and the tears bubbled over. Now that I’d said the truth, it was even more painful to swallow.

  “Titan…” His hands moved up and down my arms, rubbing me gently. “I’m sorry.”

  I sniffed before I nodded. “I’ve been taking it really hard…” I felt pathetic for falling apart so severely. I’d known losing him would shatter me, but I’d never anticipated this kind of destruction. The love I had for him reached far beyond the moon and stars. Even now, I still pictured having his son. A son that looked just like him.

  “What happened?”

  I had to steady my breathing and my tears before I could speak again. “His father had pictures of us, and he threatened to send them to the papers if Hunt didn’t break up with me.”

  “What?” Thorn’s voice immediately rose. “Why?”

  “He just wants revenge…”

  “Then what happened?”

  “Hunt told me…said I should end things with you and be with him. He said we shouldn’t care about our reputations and just be together. I couldn’t do that so…he walked out. And that was it.” I kept my eyes focused on Thorn’s chest, knowing I couldn’t look at him. I would see his pain reflected back at me, his pity.

  “I’m so sorry, Titan.”

  “I know you are.” I knew it killed Thorn anytime I was unhappy. He carried my pain with me, always making sure I never felt alone. He was a hard and cold man to the world, but with me, he was sensitive and compassionate. He was the greatest family
I ever could have asked for. I didn’t want to live without Hunt, but I couldn’t live without Thorn either.

  He brought me back into my chest and held me again. “It’s gonna be alright. I know that doesn’t seem possible right now…but it will. Don’t forget who you are. There’s nothing you can’t overcome, nothing you can’t do.” His hand moved down my back gently, between my shoulder blades. “And I’m always here.”

  “I know…”

  * * *

  I didn’t go back to the office for a week.

  I took care of things from home, rescheduled all of my meetings, and sat on the couch a lot. Thorn stayed over almost every night of the week, sleeping in the guest bedroom. We ate a lot of pizza and ice cream.

  It wasn’t healthy, but it was better than booze.

  When I returned to work, I still felt like a mess. But I couldn’t miss any more days. I had to run my empire and save the heartache for after work. Once it was past five, I could put on my sweats again and stare at the ceiling.

  When I went to Stratosphere later in the day, my heart was in my throat. I was terrified to look at Hunt, not because I thought he would mention our relationship, but because I missed him so much. I might burst into tears at the sight of him.

  I stepped onto the floor and walked past our assistants like usual. I didn’t even glance in the direction of Hunt’s office to see if he was there. Being absent for seven days was a direct confession of my misery, but now I had to be dignified once more.

  Jessica followed me into my office. “I’ve placed all of your messages in this folder along with your schedule.” She set the manila folder on the desk.

  “Thank you.” I set my satchel down and opened it. “Is Mr. Hunt in?”

  “No. He hasn’t been in all week.”

  I hid my reaction, like that information meant nothing to me. Maybe he was sitting on his couch all week just the way I was. I couldn’t picture Hunt eating ice cream straight out of the carton like I did, but he may have been just as miserable.

  “But he left this for you.” She placed another folder on the desk. “Let me know if you need anything else.” She walked out and closed the door behind her.

  I stared at the second folder, almost too scared to open it. My hands were shaky and my pulse immediately quickened. Whatever was inside must pertain to the company, but he also didn’t want to have a face-to-face conversation with me about it.

  I finally opened it and read the note.

  * * *

  Titan,

  In the pursuit of other interests, I’ve decided to sell my ownership of Stratosphere back to you. You’ll be the sole owner and chief operator of the company, and I’ll be reimbursed for my investments as well as the profits for this quarter. My legal team is ready to complete the transaction whenever you are.

  * * *

  Sincerely,

  Diesel Hunt

  * * *

  My hand shook as I held the thick piece of paper. Our beautiful relationship and unbridled passion had been reduced to professionally written notes with no emotion whatsoever. He was severing ties with me completely—so he’d never have to see me again. Now, this breakup felt even more potent than before.

  The tears started back up again.

  But I swallowed them, doing my best to keep them buried deep below the skin.

  After spending twenty minutes regaining my composure, I picked up the phone and called him. At first, I called his cell phone, but then I realized that was no longer appropriate. I hung up and called his office line instead.

  Natalie put me through.

  He answered professionally, crisp and cold just like his note. “Hello, Titan. How can I help you?” There wasn’t any affection hidden within the words. As if the past six months had never happened, we were wiped clean. All our memories had been scrubbed away.

  It took me a moment to process his indifference, to let my heart absorb it without breaking all over again. “I got your memo.”

  “Name the time and place so we can get it taken care of.”

  I hated this. I hated his indifference. It hurt more than his disappointment. “I don’t think it’s fair that you’re the one who has to sell. Perhaps I should be the one to relinquish the company to you.” We owned it together, fifty-fifty. Just because I was the woman didn’t mean I should get the better deal.

  “That’s nice of you to offer.”

  His stiff politeness was worse than him being rude. I hated it.

  “But I decline. I’ll arrange for my team to come by tomorrow afternoon. Would that be alright with you?”

  It didn’t feel like I was talking to Hunt at all, but a completely different person. “Yeah.”

  “Then I’ll talk to you then. Goodbye, Titan.” He hung up without hearing me say anything in return.

  That was what our relationship had been reduced to—absolutely nothing.

  * * *

  I was in the conference room with my lawyers when Hunt walked inside.

  In a black suit and tie, he looked crisp and handsome. His jaw was cleanly shaven, his eyes had a natural light, and his shoulders looked even broader than usual. It didn’t seem like he was having sleepless nights. It didn’t seem like he was drowning in misery over this breakup. He seemed perfectly fine.

  Did he think the same thing of me?

  I was dressed in a new outfit, my hair was done, and my makeup was fresh. But that couldn’t disguise my heartache. If he looked me in the eye, he would see my misery. It was there, and it wasn’t as if I was trying to hide it.

  Hunt walked over to me, his hand extended.

  I almost didn’t know what to do.

  Then I remembered. I shook his hand and cleared my throat, feeling the lack of chemistry between us. Anytime I breathed the same air as him, the attraction sparked like a fire in the hearth. But now there was nothing.

  He looked me in the eye, his features guarded by walls and towers. He was hiding everything from me, keeping me locked out of his castle for good.

  But if I looked hard enough, I could see it. I could see his pain, his heartbreak.

  I knew he could see mine too.

  We broke apart and moved to different sides of the table. We went through the new contract page by page, signed where we were supposed to, and came to agreements easily. I doubted that either one of us cared about walking away with more assets. We just wanted to get it over with and make sure it was fair.

  Once the final piece was prepared, we signed the last page and the team packed up.

  They all filed out, and Hunt came around the table to shake my hand again.

  I didn’t want him to walk away from Stratosphere, not when he was an amazing partner to have. But just shaking his hand was difficult for me, so I knew this was the best thing for both of us. I couldn’t see him every day and pretend everything was alright. I knew he felt the same way.

  I shook his hand again. “I really enjoyed working with you.”

  “Me too,” he said quietly. “I know the company is in good hands.” He lowered his hand and stepped back.

  I should just let him go, but I couldn’t. The words rolled off my tongue. “I’m sorry…about all of this.”

  He steadied himself, his eyes trained on me.

  “I didn’t want it to end this way. You were such an asset to this company, and it’ll be a shame to lose you. I wish you didn’t have to give it up…”

  He moved his hands into his pockets and stared at me with a cold expression. His look no longer contained the deep intensity he used to give me. Those days were long gone. Now he looked at me with anger and disappointment. “It’s the second company I’ve lost in a month, but I’ll manage.” He turned to the door, silently dismissing me.

  The second company he lost? “Hunt?”

  He opened the door but turned back to look at me.

  “What other company did you lose?”

  He kept one hand on the door as he stared at me. His jaw clenched then unclenched, and his shoulders
straightened as if he was defensive. He turned his eyes away to the window, and after a heartbeat, he looked at me again. As if he had a lengthy explanation, he opened his mouth to talk. But then he abruptly closed it, like he changed his mind. “Nothing…doesn’t make a difference anyway.”

  11

  Hunt

  I didn’t want to leave Stratosphere.

  But seeing Titan every day was far worse.

  Just looking at her made my jaw clench. Just smelling her perfume made my shoulders square in an act of hostility. I was angry with her for the decision she made, but I also resented her.

  In addition to that, I was devastated.

  I spent the first week in a blur. I stayed in my penthouse and watched a lot of TV. I hit the gym longer and harder than usual. I bought a new plane because I thought that would make me feel better, but the excitement wore off in about five minutes.

  Now that my most prized possession had been taken from me, I had nothing to live for.

  I didn’t care how high I was on the Forbes list anymore. I didn’t care about my expensive cars, my international real estate, or any of my other assets. There was no one to impress anymore. To all the other women in the world, I was still a stacked billionaire. They wanted me as much as they did before.

  I was so miserable over Titan that I didn’t think about my father once. He did something terrible to me, and I didn’t feel an ounce of revenge. The only person I was upset with was Titan. She shouldn’t have caved to a madman like him. She should have taken my hand and declared our love for the whole world to see.

  But she didn’t.

  Now I was back to my empty life, back to my superficial and meaningless existence.

  But I was also different. My relationship with Titan changed who I was. It made me a better man, but now that she was gone, I was also more bitter. I had unresolved anger that I couldn’t defuse.