Wow, your problem seems worse than mine. I didn’t think that was possible. But I’m just dealing with my dad hurting people. Your dudes are removing body parts. WAY WORSE.
My dad has been calling my cell phone a lot. I don’t answer it. He keeps telling me to call him in this weird calm psycho voice. I’m going to pretend I didn’t bring my charger and never got the calls. How can I ever live with him again or look at him when he knows I’m the one who told? He’s going to hate me.
My brother’s pissed at me. All his video games are back at the house so he has nothing to do. Maybe I can get Tita to drop them over here. I wonder if she knows where we are, and why? Tita’s pretty smart. I think she probably does know. Maybe she spilled stuff on Dad’s albums to be mean to him. You know, to get back at him ’cause she knew what was going on …
Went to the hospital to see my mom and, like Josh, she won’t look at me either. So now it seems I’ve disappeared. I may as well not exist. Everyone hates me. Still going to school and pretending nothing’s happened. Hailey doesn’t even know. And she’s my best friend. Well, best school friend. You’re really my best friend. I guess I’m supposed to be able to tell Hailey stuff like this. But since all this went down, I just can’t. She lives in another world and I don’t want her to look down on me. To pity me, you know? And I’m scared if I tell her, she might blab it all to Olivia and Sage. So the only real friend I have is you, too. Thousands of miles away in a country I’ve never been to.
I just had a bad thought. What if we DO have to show our teachers the emails? We’re going to be in deep shit.
I know they said we didn’t have to but you know what they’re like. They love changing rules when it’s convenient to them. Once we edit all the real stuff there’ll be, like, one page of facts.
I don’t want them knowing about my dad.
Look, all I know is that now that I’ve told the truth, I feel better. Even if everyone in my family does hate me. And I’m sorry for calling you an orphan. I can’t believe you went through that stuff with your foster parents. Maybe I’m more like my dad than I think ’cause when you wrote that your foster dad hurt you and Lena, I wanted to get his address, go round there and beat the shit out of him. Great.
I gotta go. I miss you.
Milla
* * *
From: Sim [[email protected]]
To: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]
Subject: gone
* * *
the fingers r gone. i just woke up 2 go to hosp, went 2 freezer. there was a bowl of something in there but the fingers were gone. what the f*#$ does that mean? i’m sittin here 4.57 am shit-scared. u there?
s.
* * *
From: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]
To: Sim [[email protected]]
Subject: get out of there – now
* * *
Shit. That’s bad. Really bad. I think you should get out of there and go to the cops. If your instinct is shit scared then that’s telling you something is MAJORLY wrong. Trust it and GET OUT of there, Sim.
Seriously.
Milla
* * *
From: Sim [[email protected]]
To: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]
Subject: stranger
* * *
hey. bout quarter to six now. get this … was sitting on my bed in dark a few minutes after i e’d u. wondering if i shld go 2 cops. then someone opens my door. i can only see the shape and then this voice says happy birthday.
it’s lauren. she shuts my door and i think she’s gonna come + knife me. but then she jumps in2 my bed. i try 2 ask her about the freezer thing and she tells me to shut the f up. and u don’t even want 2 know the rest but it’s been a pretty insane forty minutes.
i was thinkin of u and trying 2 interrogate her – deutsche-mainframe-style. i asked her why she went 2 the detention place + she said something 2 do with her old man leaving + her mum flipping out. and then she started kissing me again and the interrogation kind of ended.
happy birthday 2 me. my head’s spinning. just heard someone up and about. hope it’s lozza. think i kind of like her.
gonna go find out what’s goin on. saturday here so will e if anythin happens.
r u ok?
s.
* * *
From: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]
To: Sim [[email protected]]
Subject: are you joking?
* * *
What? What happened? What do you mean she jumped into your bed and I don’t even want to know the rest? I totally want to know the rest. Did you have sex with her? Just because she slept with you doesn’t mean she doesn’t know about the fingers. In fact, it probably means she definitely does and USED YOU to shut you up. It was just bribe sex. Did you guys really have sex? Oh no; it’s that trap I was telling you about. She’s going to pretend you are the one that got her pregnant so she can get child support off you. I told you this would happen! You better not have slept with her.
Me? I’m fine. Still at my aunt’s. Dad has been coming around banging on the door and being crazy. We have been ignoring it.
Got asked to the Winter Dance today. By this guy who lives next door to me. He’s older and I never thought he knew I existed. Wasn’t going to go, ’cause I didn’t think anyone would invite me, but maybe now I will. All the private schools around here participate. It’s a pretty big deal.
I’m fine.
Milla
* * *
From: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]
To: Sim [[email protected]]
Subject: dance soon
* * *
Where are you? I thought you said you were just lounging around. But I guess it’s Saturday where you are. Lots of time to just lie around and have bribe sex. Did you guys really have sex?
Hailey came around and wants to know why we’ve all moved out. (Dad told her where we were.) I’m too scared to tell her, though. What if she tells everyone at school? It would be kind of nice to have a REAL friend though. You’re just fingers on a keyboard. You could disappear at any moment. Ha! Like the chopped-off fingers. Eww.
Hailey is going to the dance too. We are going to go get dresses. I’m going to use Dad’s credit card and buy the most expensive dress I can find, wear it to the dance, then sell it on eBay and send the money to charity. Brother is really mad I’m going to the dance. First time he’s spoken to me all week. Guess he just wants me to be miserable like he is. As if we always have to be depressed. He’s just mad about his video games still.
I googled Danny, the guy who asked me to the dance, and guess what? He’s an actor. Hope he’s not just asking me out to get an audition on one of Dad’s shows. That would totally suck. He’s pretty good-looking, though. So maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt.
Where are you? What are you doing? Stop it and write me back immediately.
Milla
* * *
From: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]
To: Sim [[email protected]]
Subject: where are you?
* * *
You still have not written back. Are you alive? Did she kill you with death sex? You didn’t really have sex with Lozza-the-loser, did you?
OK, so while I was waiting I googled some more facts on Oz for Bitch Mayo. WEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRD COUNTRY. That’s all I’ll say.
THE PLATYPUS:
An Australian egg-laying, venomous, duck-billed, otter-footed, beaver-tailed mammal.
OK, WHAT THE HELL KIND OF ANIMAL IS THIS?! WHAT DO THEY DO? I’M GOOGLING MORE INFO.
Oh my God. Forget the weirdo platypus. Check this out. You’ve got to be kidding me. You guys are psychos.
* * *
The ‘Stolen Generation’ describes the Aboriginal children taken from their parents by Austra
lian authorities between 1900 and 1970. All Aboriginal children became wards of the state. Many were put into internment camps and orphanages. The plan was to stop the children growing up in the traditional Aboriginal way. It was promoted by the Governments of the day to be in the ‘best interests of the child.’
* * *
YOU GUYS STOLE THE ABORIGINAL KIDS AWAY FROM THEIR FAMILIES RIGHT UP UNTIL 1970? HOW DID THE GOVERNMENT GET AWAY WITH THAT? THAT’S SICK. SICK AND WRONG. THOSE POOR KIDS. AND IT SEEMS LIKE THEY MADE THEM INTO SLAVES JUST LIKE THEY DID HERE WITH THE BLACK PEOPLE. Man, black people in Australia and the United States have a lot to be angry about … wait, maybe you’re a Stolen Generation kid? Do you think that’s possible? Well, I guess not if it ended in 1970.
OK, that’s enough facts. Australia is freaky. But I guess the United States is too. Everywhere is freaky ’cause people are freaky. Messed up. It’s a messed-up world.
Everyone and everything is messed up.
Milla
PS I heard some song the other day that said our ‘school days’ are supposed to be the best days of our lives. If this is the best, then I don’t want the rest.
PPS OMG – I just figured out who might have taken the naked photos of me … the guy I hired to put the lock on my door! You know, that Mexican guy I found outside the hardware store. Shit! Oh no! I remember there was supposed to be two keys with that lock and when I went to get the second one from the pack, it was missing. SHIT. HE’S GOT A KEY TO MY ROOM …
* * *
From: Sim [[email protected]]
To: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]
Subject: i need 2 wash
* * *
hey. sorry so long. i’ve been out.
thanks 4 sending me the lowdown on the platypus. yr a weird chick. good weird.
and do u really think this mexican dude is yr guy? what do u do now? did he have bonsai’d feet like the midget prints outside your window?
i got 2 tell u where i’ve been. when i went out 2 c who was in the kitchen b4 i heard the back door click.
so i go out + there’s a brown snake snakin off into the veges. i go round the side and i see someone disappear out the front. i barefoot it down the side getting spiked by all these little tree nuts, filming as i run. but then there’s no-one out the front. so i grab a bike and blat it up the street and i see raj take the corner on a bike. i’m wondering why he’s taking off at this time of the morning. i yell out + it feels 2 me like he’s within earshot but he doesn’t respond. then he heads off up the bush track. i’m trying 2 keep up but he’s fast, duckin round bends.
i come out the other end of the track + i’ve lost him. i head along the beach path 2wards the surf club and i see him cut down + across the railway line. i cane it 2 catch up and i yell out 2 him again but he just powers on.
u know where he stops? police station. i’m ova the other side of rd near petrol station filming him and he goes inside.
so i’m thinkin he took the fingers. did he cut em off in the first place and now he’s turned himself in or something? and why did he come back 2 the house? or maybe deepspace is in there and she’s turned herself in? or maybe it was lauren and they’re kind of comin up with some alibi or somethin. i d’know. or maybe he’s dobbing me in and they think i did it? what sort of idiot am i, going and getting those fingers? it looks like i did it.
i wanted 2 go in and just tell the whole story but u know what i did? turned around and rode home. and the whole way i’m hearin u say ‘go to the police’ and i’m trying 2 steer the bike back but i don’t know what’s goin on in there and i just freak and keep riding till i get back here.
i’m in the house alone. lauren’s gone. roof’s expanding and cracking over my head. brown snakes are probably circling. when i’m writing my scripts i put the characters under pressure + that’s when they really reveal themselves. what am i revealing? that i’m a coward.
i gotta get my mind off this.
i didn’t have sex with lozza. (although i had to bust out some wrestling moves 2 wrench her off me a couple of times. i have a sneaking suspicion she may have had sex b4.) but as if i’m gonna do it 4 the first time with some random potential psychopath chick who smokes + swears like a construction worker (even if she does look like a skanky stefani). but i went further than i’ve been before and i feel like i kind of need to wash.
it’s weird saying this stuff 2 u cos i sort of feel like i’m closer 2 u than i am 2 her even though she sleeps in the next room + you’re in l.a. but what do i do? hold out 4 a girl who lives a hundred thousand k’s away or whatever it is? and as if yr gonna want 2 even know me once all this is done. i told u from the start i’m not normal.
who’s this dude askin u 2 the dance? i thought u called them proms? u always hear that in movies. and what is this, american beauty? the dude from next door? i have a bad feeling about him. don’t go. if they let me out of the big house on weekends i’ll invite u to my prom.
hey i just had a bad thought. is lauren unofficially my sister? wow. i’m sick. everyone u know is sick.
i’m goin 4 a shower. can u e me back right away + give me progress on the mexican theory? does everybody there pin stuff on mexican people? like in movies the bad dude always has a british or eastern european accent. is mexico the new poland?
s.
ps did u hear our pm said sorry about the stolen generation in the end?
* * *
From: Sim [[email protected]]
To: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]
Subject: finally doing something
* * *
hey
had a shower + thought about it. i’m gonna go 2 cop station. it’s time i stood up. thanks 4 everything.
sim
* * *
From: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]
To: Sim [[email protected]]
Subject: don’t go
* * *
Oh my God. Maybe don’t go. I don’t know. What if you get framed for it? Justice isn’t always served. Good people get sent away for years for stuff they didn’t do. Maybe you shouldn’t go.
If we ever move back home, I’m going to be extra-careful and put a new lock on my door. I’ll do it myself instead of hiring a pervert stranger. You should be extra careful too and DON’T GO TO THE COPS. I know I’ve been telling you forever to go but now I’ve changed my mind. Don’t do it.
Yep, Lauren is your SISTER. Doing stuff like that with her is WRONG. But you probably wouldn’t like me, I’m not the kind of girl who sneaks into guys’ rooms. Are you just saying you’re a virgin to make me say that I am? And what makes you think I am? Oh, did I already tell you I am … hmm, maybe I did. Well, I don’t care. I don’t care that I am. I’m proud that I’m not some cheap hooker who’ll put out for anyone.
Are you really a virgin? And what does ‘going further than ever before’ even mean? Maybe don’t tell me. Maybe I don’t really want to know.
Yeah, we still have proms but they’re at the end of the year. The Winter Dance is a local tradition in February. Weird that the guy asked me out. Saw him at the Starbucks down the street and it looked like he was flirting with some really pretty tall girl. If he’s friends with girls like that, then why is he asking me to the dance? I was kind of scared he’d see me so I hid behind a stand of coffee mugs. Is that totally lame? I’m sure I’m not his type, so why did he pick me? He’s really kind of hot. He could’ve asked anyone … I hope this isn’t some dumb setup-the-weird-girl gag. John Hughes movies are so yesterday. Uggh. Gotta go, something’s happening downstairs. Yelling. Gotta go.
BE SAFE.
x milla
* * *
From: Sim [[email protected]]
To: Milla Gainsberg [[email protected]]
Subject: cops
* * *
hey. went 2 cops. listen 2 this.
i rock up on my bike + lean
it against the fence at cop station. raj’s bike’s still there. the sheep in the police station yard is staring right @ me like i did it. i start feeling guilty.
i go up on veranda (our cop shop is an old timber house) + psych myself up. i’m kind of expecting them 2 all stop + look @ me + some old dude with a ’tache 2 say to raj ‘is that him?’ and then they’d take me away 2 the interview room with the 2way mirrors + drill me 4 an hr b4 i confess 2 something i didn’t do just so i get off lightly for perverting the course of justice or being an accomplice 2 a crime or something. (i think i’m becoming u. i never wld have thought like this b4.)
anyway, i stop daydreaming and go in. there’s a cute brunette on the desk. she doesn’t pull her piece on me, so that’s good. i ask if raj townsend is there and she leads me out to the back of the station. i’m wondering if she’s luring me towards a cell or something and a crack team of homicide detectives is gonna jump out bustin their nines and pop a cap in my ass.
It's Yr Life Page 7