Keeping Jahleel (Loving All Wrong #1.5)

by S. Ann Cole

  He was done with relationships. Wouldn’t even make sense, anyway, because he didn’t think he was ever going to stop loving Saskia. She owned him, but he didn’t own her. He was forever hers, but she never belonged to him. She belonged to the world. She lived in a house of lies. A house and a life he didn’t care to be in. She’d played him for a fool. Embarrassed him. Maybe to get back at him, to get even? He didn’t know. But…

  Saskia ruined him.

  Claire mumbled something in her sleep and turned to face him, curling up close to him, as if she could smell him. Pressing a kiss to her nose, he wrapped his arm around his little bundle of life, pushed aside all pain and feelings of betrayal, and hugged close to his heart, his only babe.

  “Daddy! Wake up, Daddy!”

  Jahleel awoke to Claire bouncing up and down on top of him. He groaned as her little kneecaps penetrated his ribcage. He should have known better than to fall asleep in her bed, because this was her usual manner of waking him up.

  Painfully.

  “Jesus Christ, Claire,” he carped, gently guiding her off him.

  She wriggled and tried to climb back onto him. “You have to get up, Daddy. Mommy bought a yummy pizza this big”—she stretched her tiny hands out to indicate the size of the pizza; no one made pizza that big—”and she’s gonna eat all of it if you don’t get up. She won’t listen to me, Daddy. She won’t wait until you’re up. Come on, Daddy. Let’s go!”

  He laughed. Easily. Freely. Simply because she made him happy.

  Close to a year ago when he’d just found out about Claire, she wasn’t this receptive of him. She was a recalcitrant little brat who drove him battyfuck crazy. Always taking her mother’s side instead of his.

  Now, she called him Daddy, instead of “that man.” She was obsessed with him. Turned the tables and started taking his side instead of her mother’s. Now they were father and daughter.

  Sitting up, Jahleel rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms while a yawn forced its way out, then he got to his feet and took Claire up in his arms. She loved that. Loved when people lifted her weighty ass up like she was new born.

  Out the bedroom and down the stairs, he found Marsha in the living room sitting cross-legged on the couch with a large box of Hawaiian pizza on the coffee table, along with two bottles of Pepsi, watching Avengers.

  Jahleel dropped down on the sofa with Claire, leaned forward and plucked up a slice of pizza. He put it at Claire’s mouth for her to take a bite, then bit into it himself.

  “Was any of what you said earlier even sincere?” Marsha asked, her eyes fixed on the television.

  Feeding Claire another bite, he answered, “You should know by now I don’t say shit I don’t mean.”

  “Maybe you meant it, maybe you didn’t. But you said all that only because you were hurt…”

  Finishing off the last of his pizza, he reached forward for another slice. Claire was engrossed in the superheroes movie.

  “Just spit out whatever’s in your mouth, Marsh, and tell me what’s on your mind.”

  Her head swiveled to him then, eyes narrowing. “You’re a celebrity now, JK. Your business is everybody’s business. You’re here right now, with me, because you can’t have her. Because she doesn’t want you. Because she used you. Just like Krissy did.”

  Jahleel bit into his pizza to buy himself some time to think before he spoke. Obviously she’d been watching the entertainment news. She saw something on it, and his heart raced at the dreadful thought of what that might be.

  His phone had been blowing up with calls from his manager, Lion T’mar, since he’d landed in SF. But he’d ignored them all because he was pretty much hating everyone related to Saskia. So he had no idea what the world knew.

  The pizza suddenly tasted like sand in his mouth. To God, he hoped the news mentioned nothing about a sex tape. Not because he would be embarrassed, but because he didn’t want the world to see her in that light.

  Saving her from that tape being released into the world was his number one reason for walking out. Sure, he was hurt and shit, but he didn’t want a sex tape of her, made with her ex, while she was engaged to him getting out there. That wouldn’t be good for her career, her reputation. He would win all the sympathy from fans, but she would be slapped with a bright red A on her forehead and suffer media trashing.

  As angry and disgusted as he was with her, he didn’t want that for her. If she was going to move on with that tatted prick, he wanted her to move on in the same light, the light where the world loved and adored every single thing she did. Not with a tarnished reputation.

  “What exactly did the news say?”

  “Huh,” Marsha sneered. “So it’s true. She did cheat, didn’t she? I fucking knew she would! I told you not to trust—”

  “Easy with the swearin’ in front of my kid, Marsh,” he warned.

  She scowled.

  “What did the news say?”

  Contented with his failed relationship, because that was what she’d always wanted, Marsha bit cheerily into her pizza and spoke with a full mouth. “That she was seen partying and tongue-locking in a Vegas club with her ex, Tex Laklin. They had no photos of that, just what ‘sources’ reported. They did, however, have photos of you going into the hotel this morning, then leaving angrily not long after with Zane Zekiel. Photos also of Tex Laklin leaving half-an-hour later. And photos of Saskia leaving sometime after that.”

  Marsha grabbed her bottle of Pepsi and gulped some down before continuing. “The photos might not have shown what happened, but people aren’t stupid. Same as I guessed it, others will. Such a bummer they didn’t have photos of what went down in the club. Ha!”

  Jahleel’s agitation got mitigated as he let out a slow sigh of relief while Marsha had her fun at his expense.

  Nothing about a sex tape. No evidence of the club scene. Just rumors and speculations.

  Saskia could work with that. Let her PR people salvage it. Lion could come up with some bullshit story. Petty stuff. She could come out unscathed, if they tackled it smartly.

  But he wouldn’t be her saving grace this time around.

  Pushing all thoughts of Saskia and her fucking paparazzi-following, no-privacy, chaotic life out of his thoughts, he pulled Claire onto his lap. But her mind wasn’t there; she was lost in the movie. A movie addict just like her father.

  “I’m gonna have my assistant bring some stuff over for me, ‘kay? Crashing here for a couple of days,” Jahleel mumbled, leaning back and making himself comfortable. “Wanna spend more time with Claire.”

  Nice excuse.

  Marsha scoffed. “So you’re just telling me you’re crashing here instead of asking me? What if I have someone who wants to come see me?”

  He looked over at her. “You got a man?”

  She averted her eyes and gulped down more Pepsi. “You can stay.”

  As if he’d asked.

  “You gotta do better than this, though, Marsh. We talked about this.” He waved a hand at the pizza box. “It’s Sunday and you’re feedin’ my daughter pizza for dinner.”

  “What? She loves pizza!”

  Claire chimed in, “I love pizza, Daddy.” She bounced up and down on his lap, chanting, “I love pizza. I love pizza.”

  Ignoring her, because she was too young to know what the hell was good for her, he addressed Marsha. “What did she have for breakfast?”

  “Cereal.”

  “Lunch?”

  Marsha winced. “Oreos.” Then she quickly added, “But that’s what she asked for.”

  Jahleel shook his head, tired of having to go over the same thing with this woman. “She deserves a proper breakfast, a proper lunch, and a proper dinner. Stop feedin’ my daughter junk food or we’re gonna have it out. You understand?”

  She kept quiet, but rolled her eyes.

  “A matter of fact, screw this pizza. We’re going out for dinner.” He spun Claire around to face him, and brought his nose close to hers. “Where would you like to go for
dinner, Claire?”

  “Disney land!” she shouted excitedly, her golden eyes wide.

  Jahleel laughed. “Disney Land is not a restaurant. But I tell you what, if you can pronounce the word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious by the end of the week, we’re going to Disney Land. But for now, pick a restaurant.”

  Raising one hand, she tapped her little fingers on her chin and clucked her tongue as she thought about it.

  Marsha laughed.

  He did, too.

  Claire must’ve learned that move from some shit she watched on television.

  Then her face brightened. “Apple Beeeeezzzee!” she exclaimed, dragging out the Bees. “Aunty Kwissy and uncle Trev took me there and it was so much fun! I wanna go again.”

  “Apple Bees it is.”

  Standing up with Claire, Jahleel reached into his pocket for his cell, punched in the unlock code, then tossed it to Marsha. “Here. Call my assistant and tell her to bring some stuff over. And yeah, we’re going to Disney Land next week. Have her set it up with a time friendly with both our schedules. Next week busy for you?”

  Blinking at him with a weird expression on her face, she shook her head. “N-No. Not really…I can do Disney Land.”

  “‘Kay. Sort it out. I’m gonna get Claire ready.” A few feet off, he stopped and looked over his shoulder at her. “Oh, and tell your man not to show up at Apple Bees.”

  With another eye roll, she looked down at his phone in her hand. A smile tugged at her lips. “Whatever.”

  She didn’t have a man.

  Chapter Eleven

  “What the fuck is this?”

  Jahleel barged into Lion’s office and slapped the entertainment magazine down onto his desk.

  Lion glanced down at the magazine, then laughed. “You flew all the way to LA to ask me why Kia is photographed wearin’ a hat that, well, almost every single gal is wearin’ now?”

  Frustration forced a growl out of him. “Hers is different. See, JK’s Only Babe. She did that. What the fuck is she tryna do, punk me out?”

  Maybe he was overreacting, hopping on a flight to LA to curse Lion out, but he just about had enough of Saskia’s bullshit over the past two months.

  Not only had she gone back to being blonde, but she straightened her hair and wore it down with a center part, all the time. Because she knew he liked her hair like that. She continued wearing his engagement ring, and continued using the mike he gave her in all her performances.

  Every stake-claiming thing she did, he’d ignored it. But all she did each time she didn’t get a rise out of him, was turn it up a notch. Pissing on him like he was a fucking fire hydrant while he was fighting harder than a soldier in Iraq to get the fuck over her.

  Now it was the JK’s Only Babe ball-cap. Every day, everywhere she went, for the past week, she was being photographed in the damn cap.

  After the incident in Vegas, the media jumped on and trashed her to the ground, calling her the worst of names. It was hard for him to have to listen to people talk all kinds of shit about her, coming up with endless falsity.

  When he thought Saskia would’ve curled up and gone into hiding, stepped off the scene for a while until things cooled off, she surprised the hell out of him by riding the bad publicity wave. She never backed off, never defended herself. She smiled wider. She laughed harder. She sang sweeter.

  Proud to say, he admired her new found strength. Not that she wasn’t strong before. She was always strong, even when she thought she was weak. But now, she was stronger. And that just served to make him love her even more.

  Saskia Day was a fucking phenomenal woman, and no one could ever take her place. Ever. She stole his breath every time on a dime. Blew him away like he was a fucking pussy willow. Reeled him in like a starving fish gagging on a bait. And cheated him of his heart like a sly fucking swindler.

  Every time.

  She still owned him. Always did and always would. She knew this. And she was letting him know that she knew this.

  In interviews, whenever hosts tried broaching the subject of her and him and Tex, she’d wiggle her ring finger, smile broadly, look straight into the camera and say, “JK’s still my fiancé.”

  One talk show host pulled up pics of him, Marsha, and Claire at various places, having fun like a family, from Disney Land to Paris. Saskia had merely looked at the pictures with a smile, commented on how cute Claire was, then emphasized, “JK’s still my fiancé.”

  Some people accused her of being deluded. Some thought it was romantic.

  Him? All he wanted to do was fucking strangle her.

  Lion folded his arms, sat back in his chair, and grinned up at him. “Looks to me like she wants you back.”

  “Not gonna happen,” he gritted out. “So tell her to quit fuckin’ staking claim on me. She doesn’t own me.”

  “Well, she obviously believes otherwise,” Lion pointed out, still grinning.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You. Her. This whole situation.” He waved his hand around. “You’re both so in love with each other, it’s fuckin’ ridiculous the things you do. I knew this was gonna happen. Saw it from a mile away. I warned you both. And I should be pissed right now. But instead, I’m amused. I’m actually sittin’ on the edge of my seat waitin’ to see how shit’s gonna play out this time.”

  “Look, assfuck, me and Sassy? We’re done. You’re her manager, tell her to stop this shit. If she doesn’t, I’m gonna slap a ring on some random chick’s finger and start taking interviews to talk about my new engagement. And that’s only gonna leave Saskia Day, your product, looking like a sick, pathetic loony bird.”

  Lion straightened up in his chair, realizing Jahleel’s seriousness. Lion knew he didn’t make idle threats. And if they kept poking the asshole in him with a hot rod, he would dish it out at the full one hundred percent.

  So far, he’d been playing nice.

  “Okay, okay,” Lion placated. “You don’t need to be an asshole, aight? I’ll talk to her ‘bout it.”

  “Thank you,” Jahleel hissed out and turned to leave.

  “Are you really back with Marsha?” Lion asked, stopping him.

  “What’s it to you?”

  “Just askin’,” Lion mumbled. “You’ve been completely closed off since this shit went down. We only talk ‘bout proposals and contracts. And I feel a lil hurt, to tell you the truth. ‘Cause we’ve had a close relationship long before I became your manager. I’m just Saskia’s manager, JK. I’m not her. So it ain’t fair that you’ve shut me out. I’d never betray your confidence and you know that.”

  Scrubbing both hands down his face, Jahleel turned around and answered truthfully, “No.”

  Lion was unconvinced. “You’ve been livin’ in her home for the past two months, and you’re tellin’ me you’re not tappin’ that?”

  God he hated when people questioned his honesty. “You just asked me a question and I answered with the truth. I’m spending time with my daughter.”

  “So why not take Claire to your place, then? Why stay at Marsha’s?”

  When Jahleel plead the fifth, Lion figured it out.

  “The house reminds you of her, doesn’t it? It’s too close to her home. Shit, you’re thinkin’ of sellin’ it, aren’t you?”

  Lion could read him too well.

  True, Jahleel had bought the house to be closer to Saskia. Now he wanted to sell the damn place because it was too close to her. He didn’t want to even go there because she had a lot of shit there he didn’t want to see. Not even to gather them to burn them. Then there was their entwined initials, big and bold, right in the foyer to remind him what a joke he was.

  “Enough, Dr. Phil,” Jahleel said. “I’m out.”

  “You still love her, JK. Don’t deny it, ‘cause it’s clear as fuckin’ day. You need to give her a chance.”

  “Not a—”

  “I spoke to Tex, JK. He admitted to druggin’ her. And he’s pretty beat up about it.”

  Jahl
eel snorted. “Well, if she’d stayed in her fuckin’ booth that wouldn’t have happened, now would it? Why would she go in the first place if she didn’t still have feelings for him? Where’s the fuckin’ respect for me?”

  Lion stood up and rounded his desk, propping himself on the edge. “Okay, be angry with her for that. But don’t punish her for what happened after. She trusted him, and he fucked her over out of revenge. You know, like I know, JK, that Kia has never and will never love anyone else but you.

  “Tex has backed off ‘cause he’s come to realize this, too. Consciously, Saskia would never do shit like that. And I could swear for her in a fuckin’ court house. Just like I swore for you that you’d never hit a woman when Tex tried to start up that rumor ‘bout you bein’ a woman beater. She loves you, JK, and you love her. Stop fuckin’ torturin’ yourselves.”

  Raking his teeth over his lower lip, Jahleel took a step toward Lion. “Lemme ask you this: if it was Twana, if you saw her on camera getting her brains fucked out over and over again by someone that wasn’t you, if you watched her polish another man’s cock and enjoyed doing it, while wearing your ring on her finger, how would you cope with all those images burned into your head if you did decide to forgive her and move on? How would you move on from that? Tell me how, Lion, and I’ll give Sassy a chance.”

  Lion stared back at him, his expression horrified at the thought of that being his queen, Twana.

  Jahleel waited for one, two, three…sixty seconds, and when Lion came up with nothing, he bit out, “That’s what I thought,” then turned and left his office.

  “…Three steps back. Oblique left twist, right twist. Knee slide forward. 360 knee spin. Turn. Back flip….one, two, three, air toss Trent!”

  Jahleel crossed his arms, watching as his dancers tossed Trent up in the air. Trent air flipped, then came down landing on one hand. Perfect, except his shirt was still on.

  “The fuck, Trent?”

  Trent frog-jumped to his feet, breathing hard. “Sorry, JK. But it’s hard getting my shirt off during the flip. Mace is shorter, why can’t he do it?”