by TJWEST
I was trying to fight the tears that were developing behind by eyes, causing them to sting, but I couldn’t make the first one stop from leaking out. I wiped away the tear as fast as I could - I had to keep strong for my son. Quinn felt my tension and held me tighter as we listened to Blaine - watching our little boy take everything in.
“.....I am so sorry I hurt you and your mom.” Blaine looked at me. “I’m so very sorry, Sandy.”
I could see the guilt written all over his face and I wanted nothing more than to forgive him, but I knew it would take more than sorry to get passed it. “I know.” I said.
“You don’t forgive him, mom?” Joey asked, confused.
Blaine jumped in before I got a chance to respond, and I’m glad he did because I wasn’t sure how to answer his question.
“I think, for your mom, it will take much longer to heal, to forgive me, and I don’t blame her. She’s been through a lot and has done such a great job in raising you; makes me really happy.”
“She’s the best mom in the world!” Joey exclaimed, happily.
I slightly chuckled, but could feel Quinn tense up. He wasn’t happy that Joey was accepting Blaine’s confession, yet he knew, deep down, it was the right thing. Knowing Joey, he could never be anything, but a forgiving person; holding a grudge wasn’t in him. I always walk away learning something from my own son that inspires me to be a better person. I just hope I could walk away from this experience and accept Blaine’s apology.
Once we got the awkward apology or confession - whatever you want to call it - out of the way I noticed how much alike Joey and Blaine were; facial expressions, their smile, body movements, - you name it, they were definitely from the same gene pool. I truly did not want any part of Blaine inside my son, but now that I’ve seen them together I couldn’t deny that I was actually okay with it. Joey was a part of Blaine whether I liked it or not; they had a connection and bond that went beyond skin deep - it was fascinating.
Quinn and I became two observers, watching Joey and Blaine; I almost felt like an outsider, thinking we should let them have some bonding time alone, but Quinn still had a hold on my shoulders, not wanting me to move.
I whispered in his ear, “I need to get up, stretch my legs. Come with me.”
He slowly shook his head and whispered back, “No, but you can.”
I sighed, and gave up. No use in arguing with the Big Bad Wolf. I wiggled myself out of Quinn’s inflexible hold and told everyone I would get us some snacks. By then Joey and Blaine were talking about video games; apparently Blaine was a stickler for Nintendo Wii as well and knew pretty much about every game Joey told him about.
I grabbed a bowl from the cupboard, along with some tortilla chips and salsa when I noticed I left my phone on the counter. I briefly checked to see if there were any messages; there were two missed calls from that same phone number that woke me up in the middle of the night. I frowned at the screen - who the hell is this? It bugged the hell out of me not knowing where this number was coming from. I’d have to dig into it later on tonight, but for now I tucked the phone in my jeans pocket and took the chips back into the living room.
“And this is my favorite Skylanders - Lightcore Warnado!” Joey exclaimed. He had gotten out his overstuffed bag of Skylanders figurines just I had re-joined them. It was like watching two kids interact with another - instead of one adult and one kid; Blaine was anything but bored looking at all the figurines, telling Joey he should buy the game himself.
Quinn, being Quinn, stayed as mute as a silent movie. I wish I could do something to help him lighten up, but I understood how difficult this was; just as we had planned on getting married and becoming a family a complete road block gets in the way. I have to remind myself that Blaine is here temporarily and when he leaves Quinn and I can pick up where we left off and plan our future. As for Joey, seeing how happy he is to meet his father, and having so much in common with him makes this sudden road block worth it. I’m not sure what kind of fiance’ that makes me, but as a mother, just observing my sons bright, enthusiastic personality makes me happy. Believe me though, I’m still not thrilled with how this all came about, but it is what it is.
After a couple hours of Blaine’s visit he said he had to leave and head back to Oregon. He and Joey gave each other a hug, saying “goodbye” and “see ya later”. I was so touched to see a slight tear in the corner of Blaine’s eye - he really did care about my son and wanted to be a part of his life.
Quinn stayed behind while I walked Blaine out to his car. I had my arms crossed over my chest, for there was a slight cool breeze blowing. Blaine unlocked his car and turned toward me and said, “I can’t thank you enough for letting me see Joey. He is such an awesome kid.”
I smiled. “He seems to really like you.”
He chuckles, “Yeah, kinda surprised by that. Didn’t expect him to like me much. He’s something else and really special.” There was a pause between us, but then he continued, “I’ve missed so much of his life and will do anything to make it up to him. I want to be here for all his milestones, Sandy.”
“We’ll keep in touch and when something important comes up I’ll let you know, alright?”
He shakes his head and sighs, “Not sure that will be enough for me. I’m considering moving down here. I want to be near him.”
I slightly gasped. “Move here?”
“Yeah, it’s the only solution. I want to be in his life, be the dad he deserves. I don’t want to be a long distance father who never gets to see his son. I want to be able to come to all his school gatherings, birthday parties, holidays, anything. Now that I have found him, I can’t turn and walk away. I just can’t.
I did not expect him to say this - I was speechless and downright impressed. Blaine Sullivan was truly a good man.
How the hell will Quinn react? Certainly not in a good way, that’s for sure. Unfortunately for him, he’s gonna have to suck it up and face the fact that he won’t be the only father in our son’s life. It’s definitely going to be a test of patience and acceptance.
Chapter 26
Quinn
Jealousy. Rage - two of the most shameful flaws about myself that I hate. It’s what I felt all day when fuckin’ Barbie was in my home, with my family - with my son. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move until he was gone - outta of my fuckin’ sight. And just when I thought he was gone Sandy tells me he was plannin’ on moving here! What the fuck!
I couldn’t contain my anger any longer - not wanting Joey to see how muddled and unglued I became - I took my bike out and went for a long ride. I didn’t want to punish Sandy, but hearing her accept this whole fucking, insane ordeal threw me over the edge. I had no idea how to handle it, and I wasn’t positive I ever could handle it.
“So glad to see that fuckin’ ken doll leave.” I mumbled as I came outside, joining Sandy.
Sounding irritated, Sandy scoffed. “Ken doll?”
“Just glad he’s gone.”
“Uh, yeah, about that. Um…..he’s planning on moving closer to Joey. Moving here.”
I slowly dropped my arms from my chest, scowling. “What the fuck did you just say?”
“Quinn -”
“And you’re okay with this!” Raising my voice.
“What am I supposed to do? Say no?”
“Fuck yeah! You say no, cuz we don’t want him here!”
“I...I can’t!”
I blinked and slightly gasped. “I don’t fucking believe this! Don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind about that con!”
“Maybe….I…I don’t know! But the fact of the matter is, he is our son, Quinn! Didn’t you see him? Didn’t you see how happy he was? Doesn’t seeing him happy matter to you?”
I chuckle without any humor. “That’s a pretty fucked up thing to say, Shorty. His happiness means more to me than you’ll ever know!”
“Then stop being so selfish and let our son be happy!” Sandy impatiently, clipped at me.
&nb
sp; I was fucking seething, clenching my jaw, ready to punch my fist through a wall if I didn’t get the fuck outta here. “Never said I wasn’t selfish, Shorty. Gotta get outta here.”
“Wait? What? Where are you going?” She said in a panic voice, following me to the garage.
“Gonna take a cruise.” I opened the garage door, put on my helmet, started up my bike and rode off without another single word - left my woman in the dust, crying.
I know I hurt her by storming off, but I was fuckin’ hurt too and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I had never imagined of feeling this crushed over a little boy - it’s painful to see another man take that time and love I gave Joey away from me. To have the woman I love, honor another man’s wishes, was ripping me up inside. Yet I knew, deep down, I had no right feeling this selfish, this angry. If only I had my Pop to talk to; wonder what he would say to me?
I had the urge to get drunk in a bar somewhere, but since knowing Sandy I haven’t wanted to be that kind of man anymore. Only unforgivable things would happen if I stepped into a dark, skanky, hole in the wall, bar - I couldn’t stoop down to that level anymore.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been gone; the sun was setting so I knew it was getting late and should head back home. I took PCH all the way to Oceanside and parked close to the beach. So much shit was going through my head that the time had slipped by me. I only checked my phone once to see if Sandy texted me……. she hadn’t. I hadn’t bothered to text her either, and I’m not sure if that was such a good idea so I texted to let her know I was on my way back. I never received anything in response - definitely not a good sign. She’ll have to understand that I needed the space before I did or said anything I would have regretted in the end. I needed time to think - cool down.
It was completely dark by the time I stepped inside the house; livingroom lights were off and it was quiet. I gently knocked on Joey’s bedroom door. “Hey, bud.”
Joey was in bed, reading his book. “Hi! You were gone a long time.”
I exhaled and sat down next to him. “Sorry about that. Had things to do. You okay?”
“Mmmhmmm, yep.”
I ruffled his head and said, “Good. Love ya, bud.”
“Love you too, Quinn.”
I made my way to our bedroom, quietly entering. Sandy was sitting up in bed, reading as well. She looked too beautiful for words; hair was spread over her shoulders, gliding down to her tits. I wanted nothing more than to bury myself in her scent and make this whole fuckin’ nightmare go away.
Her eyes met mine. She put her book down and gave me small smile that melted my heart. I did not expect that from her. “Glad you’re back.”
As if my legs were on high speed rollers, I quickly walked to her, grabbed her curvaceous body, and held her tightly against my chest. I kissed the side of her head, and felt her arms wrap around my middle. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. So sorry.” I breathed.
“I’m sorry too.” She whispered.
“I took all my frustrations out on you. Didn’t deserve that.”
“I understand.”
“I’m jealous and hurt, Shorty. Don’t know how to get rid of these feelings.”
She brought my face into her hands and said, “Oh, Quinn……” She had tears in her eyes. “......I know it’s not easy, but things will be okay. You have to believe that.”
Shaking my head I respond, “Being the person you are, babe, you may believe things will be okay, but I don’t. Not sure if it will ever be okay in my eyes.”
She furrowed her brows, with a look of disbelief. “Why do you say that? What are you afraid of?”
I took hold of her hands, rubbing them and admiring the rock on her finger - the piece of glass I had given her - our promise to one another. My love to her. “Like you said, I’m selfish. I always have been.”
“Oh, God, I’m so sorry about what I said -”
Cutting her off I say, “No, you were right. I’m being selfish - hoping Blaine won’t come back, because I want Joey to myself. I want to be his only father. Never thought much about being a dad until you walked into my life and now that I know what it’s like to love a little boy, like your son, I don’t want to share. I can’t share. Don’t know how. Afraid he’ll love him more than me.”
By then we were both in tears. “Blaine could never take your place, Quinn.”
I sighed. “You don’t know that. We’ve only been together for a few months, Shorty, and look how close he and I have become. Won’t take him that long. He loves fast.”
“Stop! Stop having doubts about yourself. Joey does not choose who is better than who, you should know that by now. Have some faith. There is nothing wrong with having more love in someone’s life, especially when it comes to him.”
Her words cut to the core of my heart. She was right; I needed to have more faith in Joey, but I couldn’t with Barbie. I couldn’t trust him - not right now, anyways.
While I was at the beach I really did think about not returning; Sandy and Joey deserve so much better than having a jealous, selfish bastard as myself, in their lives, but I couldn’t do it. I needed them too much. I needed Sandy’s love like I needed air - I couldn’t live without her, couldn’t live without the family we were building. Plus, they didn’t deserve me deserting them. They needed a dependent family as much I as did.
Still tangled in each others arms I whisper in her ear, “You’re my life, babe. My faith. My family. You’re everything.”
She exhales and tightens her arms around my middle. “Don’t you ever forget it, big guy.”
I feel her smile against my chest, which led me to diving my mouth onto hers and forgetting all this shit we just fought about - what a waste of fuckin’ time and energy. No more. No more wastin’ precious time on a douche like Barbie. Time will be spent on building our family, whether he was in it or not.
It was two in the morning when we got woken up by Sandy’s phone, vibrating. “Shit! Not again!” Sandy hissed.
“Who is it, babe?” I asked groggily.
“I don’t know. It’s like the fourth time this sonofabitch has called.”
This was news to me. “The fourth time? What’s the number?” She handed me her phone and I immediately recognized the area code - Nevada. “Fuck.” I said as I sat up in bed, dragging my hand across my face, frustrated.
“What, Quinn? Do you know the number?”
“Yeah. It’s from Nevada.”
“Nevada? Who would call me from Nevada? I don’t know anyone from there.” Sandy said with confusion.
“Could only think of one person…..Carla.”
She gasped. “Carla? As in: your ex-wife, Carla?”
I exhaled, clenching my jaw. “Yeah.”
“How in the hell would she get my number?”
“There are ways babe. Look, I’ll figure this shit out tomorrow. Come here.” Sandy put her phone back on her nightstand and made her way into my arms. We couldn’t go back to sleep right away so there was only one solution to help - middle of the night fucking. Nothing better than melting inside my woman’s body and hearing her come underneath me - pure bliss.
On Monday I contacted a good buddy of mine from Nevada, Rico, to hunt down the person who kept calling Sandy. He said he’d get back to me by the end of the day. What the hell was I gonna do to that bitch if she was the one trying to harass my lady? I really did not want to take another trip to warn her to stay away; she’d regret ever trying to mess with me. She’s seen my temper, knowing what I can do when someone steps on my toes - it ain’t pretty - especially when it involves the woman I love. And now that I have a little boy to look after……..damn, I don’t even want to think about what I would do.
My thoughts got interrupted when Sandy came peaking inside the office. “Hey you, ready for a break?” She asked, smiling.
“Hell, you are a sight for sore eyes, baby, lock the door and get over here.” I gruffly demanded. I’d been held up in the office all morning, doing a load of paper work; plus thinking
about those damn phone calls. Having Sandy come in to take my mind off things was just what I needed.
She moaned as she hopped onto my lap, immediately making me hard, hugging me tightly. She smelled so good - berries and coconut shampoo, still lingering in her hair. “Mmm I’m beat, big guy. It was a mad house out there today. So glad the rush is over.”
“Glad the rush is over too, so you can be here, on my lap.” I said as I was kissing the side of her neck.
She giggles, “I can tell.”
“You wanna help my aching need, cuz I’d love nothin’ more than to lay you stomach flat on my desk and pound you until I can’t stand up anymore.”
She laughs loud this time. “You and your erotic, dirty mind.”
“Never said I didn’t have one, Shorty.” I stated, making my way up under the back of her blouse, hooking my fingers around the clasp of her bra.
“No, Quinn, we can’t. I have an IEP meeting with Joey’s school.”
I whisper into her ear, “Will be quick. As you can feel, my cock is a bit uncomfortable.”
“Nope. Can’t.” She seductively, whispers back into my ear. “Your cock is just gonna have to wait until later, because the IEP will not.” She reminded me, then abruptly gets off my lap.
I groan from the sudden release of her body, so in return, I take hold of her arm and whip her back down onto my lap, crushing our lips firmly together; her sweet, minty tongue played with mine while my hands moved up and down her soft frame - teasing my dick once again. I love the feel of her hands on the back of my neck, massaging into my hair, the squeeze of her fingers, knowing she wants more. I will never get tired of this.
She breaks free from our kiss, breathing heavily, “God, you make this difficult, Wolf.”
“My plan all along.” I reply.
“Mmm, naughty naughty, but seriously, I really have to go to this meeting. You want to join me? Might be a good idea.”