Dear Bridget, I Want You

by Penelope Ward

  Unlike most dining rooms, mine was located on the opposite side of the house from the kitchen. I never understood the reasoning for that layout, but on this particular day, I was grateful that Simon’s mother thought I was out of earshot.

  I’d forgotten my phone on the windowsill in the dining room, so when I went back to retrieve it, I heard them speaking argumentatively. I stopped and hid behind the wall to listen.

  “That little boy is going to get very attached to you, Simon. It’s dangerous.”

  “It’s already happened, Mother. I love him.”

  “How can you possibly love some other man’s child?”

  “I consider him mine.”

  There was a long pause before Eleanor spoke again. “Bridget is lovely. Honestly. I’m actually pleasantly surprised. But you need to realize that she’s going to trap you into this situation forever. You’ll never get out, Simon. Never.”

  “Trap me? I’d love to be trapped here. You can’t trap someone somewhere if it’s the only place in the world they want to be.”

  His mother continued to argue with him while his father stayed silent.

  “You can’t be serious, son. You’ll never be able to return to England. You’ll be stuck here for the rest of your life, away from your family and from the people who love you.”

  “The people who love me are here.

  Simon slapped his cloth napkin down on the table. It sounded like he was going to get up from the table, so I ran on my tiptoes to the kitchen.

  Leaning against the counter, I completely lost it. So overcome with sadness about how his parents really felt, I broke out into tears.

  I needed another drink, but more than that, I needed to check on Bridget and get the hell away from my parents for a few minutes.

  Bridget was layering the ingredients of her fruit and chocolate trifle when I noticed her shoulders were shaking.

  Rushing toward her, I asked, “My God, are you crying?”

  Tears were streaming down her cheeks. “How come you never told me how your parents feel? I thought they were coming to meet me, not to warn you against me!”

  “You heard them from all the way in here?”

  “I’d gone back to get my phone to double-check the recipe. I was listening behind the wall. I heard everything.”

  That gutted me.

  I pulled her into my chest. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that rubbish. It doesn’t matter how they feel, especially now. I love you so much, Bridget, more than anything in this world. I haven’t wanted to burden you with their foolishness, because it doesn’t bloody matter.”

  She stepped back to look me in the eyes. “It matters to me. I want them to like me, to understand how much I love you. They’ve judged me before I’ve even had a chance to prove any of that to them.”

  “Don’t you dare go getting upset right now. I’m going to fix this. They can’t come into our house and disrespect you like this, even if they think you can’t hear them.” I knew what I had to do. “You trust me?”

  “Why? What are you going to do, Simon?”

  “We’re gonna face this right now. I’m going to make them understand once and for all. Take my hand. We’re going to put an end to any doubts that they have.”

  She did as I said as we walked back together to the dining room.

  My parents both turned in their seats to face us. My heart was pounding as I prepared to lay it all out on the line.

  “Mum and Dad, with all due respect, I need you to understand something very clearly. Bridget is here right now because we don’t have any secrets in this house. She’s aware of your apprehension about us. If you love me, if you’ve ever loved me, you will stop questioning my life choices. You think you know what’s going on, think you know Bridget, but you don’t really know anything. I clearly haven’t explained things thoroughly enough to you. The fact that you have this fear that she’s going to trap me is ironic and terribly painful. Want to know why? I have spent the past several months doing everything in my power to knock her up. You have no idea how badly I want—as you call it—to be trapped. You also have no idea what it’s like having to watch the person you love more than anyone in this world go through something as painful as infertility, injecting herself day in and day out with potentially harmful drugs. Why? For me. All for me. Because she knows I want a baby, not with just anyone, but only with her. And that was the only way to get it. She’s gone through hell for me.”

  “My God,” my mother muttered.

  I went on, my blood pressure rising by the second.

  “And that boy isn’t someone else’s. Brendan is my son. The things you see as complications are blessings to me. You want to know how serious I am? What you interrupted tonight? Bridget and I had a date to go into the city. I was going to ask her to marry me tonight. I’d been waiting for just the right moment to do it.”

  I hadn’t exactly intended to let that cat out of the bag. It just came out in my anger.

  Bridget looked at me in shock.

  I mouthed, “I love you.”

  My father finished off the last of his drink as my mother continued to stare at me in silence.

  It was time to unleash the big one.

  “But see, Mother, even the fact that my big plans were ruined can’t dampen my spirits—nothing can. Because earlier this week, I got the most amazing news that I’ve ever received in my life. Bridget is pregnant…not just with one baby…with two. We’re having twins. So, that woman you’ve been disrespecting in her own house is carrying your grandchildren inside of her. And there’s nothing you can say or do that is going to change the fact that I am on cloud nine.”

  Mum let out a long breath, closing her eyes then opening them with a look of empathy. “I had no idea.”

  “No, I didn’t tell you any of this because things have been hard enough without your opinions on top of it all.”

  Bridget spoke for the first time. “Can I say something?”

  “Of course,” I said.

  She spoke to my mother directly. “I can understand why you’ve had doubts about me. You don’t know me. You only know that I’ve kept him from you and that I’ve been married before and that I have a child. I used to think I wasn’t good enough for your son, either, to be honest. I tried not to fall in love with him, thinking that he would be better off without me. But whether we make sense or not, we love each other. You can’t choose love. It chooses you. And I don’t want him to have to choose between us and you. No one should have to make that kind of choice. And even if you continue to hate me, I still would never keep him or your grandchildren from you. Because I love him too much to do that.”

  “We don’t hate you.” My mother sighed before rubbing her temples.

  I put my arm around Bridget and addressed them. “I think we’ve had enough stress for one night. I love you both very much, Mum and Dad, but I think you need to stay in a hotel tonight.”

  “No,” Bridget insisted.

  Surprised, I turned to her. “No?”

  “No. They’re staying in your old room. They’re your parents. They’re not going to a hotel. I insist.” She let go of me and looked over at them. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m feeling very tired and now you know why. I think I’m going to turn in early. The trifle I made is ready, Simon. I want you to serve it to your parents. You never get to see them. Enjoy the dessert and this time together.”

  Then, she simply walked away.

  I went after her, but Bridget assured me that she was okay. She refused to let me join her in the bedroom and continued to insist that I spend the rest of the night with my mum and dad.

  They were getting to see firsthand exactly why I was in love with this woman.

  I slept like a baby. Even though Eleanor’s words last night had hurt me, Simon’s had healed me. The way he stood up for us in front of them really made me realize that nothing and no one could ever break us apart. As hard as it was, I was just going to have to accept things with his parents as they were.


  I knew that he had stayed up really late with them because I’d heard him come into the bedroom in the middle of the night. Although they weren’t crazy about me, it really did make me happy to know that he was getting to spend time with them.

  The sun was now shining through our bedroom window. Simon stirred when he heard me get up. He placed his hand on my nightgown, pulling me back into bed with his firm grip.

  Resisting, I said, “I need to make breakfast for them.”

  “You’ll do no such thing. You worked hard enough cooking that supper last night. We’ll take them out somewhere.”

  “They need coffee.”

  “They don’t drink coffee. They drink tea. And I set everything out for them last night.” He patted the bed next to him. “Lie with me for a bit.”

  I lay back down and faced him.

  Simon placed a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I screwed up when I blurted out my plans to propose. I’d been waiting for the perfect night so that I could orchestrate everything just right, but perfection doesn’t always lie in the obvious. Last night, the respect you showed my parents in the face of disrespect made me love you even more. I honestly didn’t think that was possible. They see it now. And honestly, for me, there is no more perfect time to ask you to be my wife than this moment.”

  Simon reached into the nightstand, taking out a small, black box. Rather than get down on one knee, he wrapped his legs around mine and hovered over me on the bed. “Bridget, I know we’ve done things a little arse backwards. We lived together before we became lovers. I knocked you up out of wedlock. But I wouldn’t change a thing. The order may not have been perfect, but you, our son, our babies…are perfect—everything I never knew I wanted.”

  He opened the box, displaying a ring that had one large, center diamond, surrounded by four small ones.

  “This ring represents us. You’re the big beautiful stone in the middle. The two stones on the left represent Brendan and me. The two on the right are our unborn babies. Will you do me the great honor of being my wife?”

  “Yes!” I jumped up to wrap my arms around his neck. I couldn’t help but laugh. “Your parents are gonna shit over this.”

  “No, they’re not. They know.”

  “They do?”

  “I told them before bed that I planned to ask you this morning. I made a promise to our son last night, that when his grandmother dropped him off today, that there would be a ring on his mother’s finger. You didn’t know it, but our trip to Newport today was meant to be a family celebration of our engagement.”

  “We’re still doing that trip even with your parents here?”

  “They’re invited to come along. If they don’t want to, that’s their problem.”

  When we emerged from our engagement bliss, Eleanor and Theo were sitting in the kitchen, sipping their tea. Simon had his arms wrapped around me.

  “Good morning,” I said.

  “Good morning, Bridget.” His father smiled.

  My head was pounding, and I couldn’t even have coffee because I’d decided to eliminate caffeine.

  His mother stood. “Can we have a moment?”

  “Sure,” I said.

  “Dad, let’s take a walk,” Simon said, before disappearing out the front door with his father.

  Eleanor and I were officially alone. I really hoped that she wasn’t going to say anything mean to me, because I was in no mood, especially without coffee.

  “I need to apologize for my behavior last night. After you went to bed, my son spent the entire evening recounting his experience here. It’s evident that he loves you unconditionally and that I was out of place in thinking that I could sway him in some way. But I assure you I no longer wish to do that.”

  “I understand why you felt the way you did. I can’t say I would be any different if it were my son wanting to move to England with someone who had baggage. Until you really know the person or understand the situation, you take it at face value. We all want what’s best for our children.”

  “Well, I can see now that what’s best for my son is what makes him happy. And that is you. Thank you for welcoming us into your home.”

  She smiled, and it actually seemed genuine.

  I lifted my hand, displaying the ring. “Did you see?”

  “He showed us last night. Congratulations.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You know, Simon doesn’t know this, but I had trouble conceiving him. It’s why he’s an only child.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “So, I know how hard that is.”

  “Well, I’m hoping that these little guys or girls turn out to be just like your son.”

  She bent her head back in almost evil laughter. “He was a holy terror. If they’re anything like little Simon, good luck to you, dear.”

  SEVEN MONTHS LATER

  It was like I’d died and woken up in pink-washed heaven. I looked around the room at the pink balloons, pink flowers, and pink clothing items strewn about. The hospital room had vomited pink.

  It had been an exhausting day with people in and out of Bridget’s suite. First my mother, who’d flown in for the birth, was here. She finally went back to our house to prepare some meals for when we returned.

  Then, Bridget’s mother came in from Florida along with Ben’s mother, Ann. It seemed like they were here forever. Right when they left, Calliope and Nigel showed up with a giant, pink stuffed animal. Now with all of the visitors gone, Bridget was finally able to nap. Brendan was in the corner of the room playing quietly on his tablet.

  And Daddy was getting alone time with his girls, one in each arm, sleeping like the babies they were. Eleanor Blake on the left and Elizabeth Simone on the right, both named after their grandmothers.

  Eleanor’s eyes suddenly opened as she began to cry. I could already see the differences in their personalities. Eleanor was more like me, didn’t like to sleep, never wanted to miss out on any excitement. Loved to suck on Bridget’s tits. Elizabeth was more like her mother, calm and a great sleeper.

  I’d already proven to be an overprotective father. They weren’t even out of the womb, and I’d nearly gotten kicked out of the delivery room for trying to direct the physician during the birth. I couldn’t imagine what I was going to be like when they were teenagers. That reminded me that I was going to need backup.

  “Hey, Brendan. In about fourteen years, I’m really going to need your help, okay? Be prepared. We’ll have some serious teenage boy butt to kick.”

  “Okay, Pop,” he said before turning his attention back to his game.

  Bridget’s voice was groggy. “What are you saying?”

  “Did I wake you, luv?”

  “No. Your mini-me, Eleanor, did. She’s ready for a snack?”

  I handed the twin who had been resting on my left arm to her mother.

  Elizabeth remained sleeping on my right. Eleanor latched onto the left breast right away. Bridget had been tandem breastfeeding, which had officially graduated her to my superhero.

  “Can I get you anything?” I asked.

  “Some water.”

  I poured her a cup and watched as she drank it down.

  “Now that you’re awake and the guests are gone, I can finally give you your presents.”

  “Didn’t you already give me enough?” She smiled.

  “Well, Calliope told me about something called a push present. So, I’d been planning to give it to you. I have two presents, actually,” I said, handing her the first item. “This one’s for them.”

  Bridget ripped open the wrapping paper to reveal two matching sets of onesies.

  She giggled. “Days of the week.”

  “To match your knickers. Now they can dress like their mum.”

  “Honestly, that is adorable, Simon.”

  “Okay, next one’s for you.” I handed her a box and watched as she opened it.

  She lifted the white gold necklace and examined the charm, which looked like two letter Js
back to back. On the tip of each end was a small diamond.

  “Oh my God, it’s beautiful. What a unique design. Why does it look so familiar?”

  I opened my wallet and took out the fish hook that I’d extracted from her arse the very first day we’d met. “Because it’s an exact replica of this.”

  “That’s the same kind of fish hook that was stuck in my butt the day we first met!”

  “Not the same kind. The one and only.”

  “You kept it?”

  “Bizarre, right? That day, instead of discarding it, I slipped it into my jacket as a memento. That was probably the most unsanitary thing I’d ever done in my entire medical career, but something told me to keep it, that it was important.”

  She looked at the hook in my hand and then down at the charm. “This is the strangest yet oddly romantic thing I’d ever received.”

  I put the hook back in my wallet before adjusting the necklace around her.

  “This is what I’m going to wear on our wedding day,” she said.

  Bridget and I had a date set in England a year from now. We figured the twins would be old enough to travel then. I couldn’t wait to show her and Brendan where I grew up.

  “Here’s the strange thing about the fish hook,” I said. “It’s a double hook with twin ends. Maybe it was a premonition.” I leaned in to whisper into her ear so that Brendan couldn’t hear. “Even stranger, apparently when Googling double fish hook, I found that it’s also slang for a sexual act in which two middle fingers are inserted into a woman’s arse and then pulled apart. Something we can try when you’re ready.”

  “Aw, and that reminded you of me. The symbolism here is overwhelming.” She laughed. “I just can’t believe you kept that thing all this time.”

  “It’s proof you hooked me from the very beginning, luv.”

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