Pain

by Adam Southward

  ‘The police know I’m here,’ said Alex. He watched her expression. Again, her eyes darted to the mirror. Alex’s eyes followed. The mirror was huge. From Alex’s seated position he could see it was dirty, smudged around the bottom below the table line. It had a hairline crack in the bottom-left corner. He looked away, back to his captors.

  ‘Dr Madison’s phone?’ she said.

  The man slipped a hand into his jacket pocket and produced Alex’s phone. He offered it to the woman.

  ‘Leave it,’ she said. ‘Dr Madison can’t do us any harm.’

  The man shrugged and dropped the phone on to the table. Alex wasn’t sure whether or not that was a good thing. Probably not. His mouth dried and his breathing became more shallow.

  ‘Car?’

  ‘Moved. Two blocks away.’ The suited man turned to the woman. ‘If the police are coming, we need to prepare.’

  The woman nodded. A fresh wave of anxiety took Alex. Prepare for what? Alex had seen a whole road of huge warehouses. Did they all belong to these people? Which one had they taken him to? It was possible he wasn’t even in London. If he’d been sedated for several hours, he could be anywhere in the country by now.

  He recoiled as the woman approached. She sat on the desk, leaning in. She examined his face, peering into his eyes. Alex found himself unable to look away. Her gaze was both scary and mesmerising.

  Again, Alex’s mind wandered. Memories of Katie being held by Victor Lazar, his hands at her throat, the knife poised to take away Alex’s daughter. Alex blinked, suppressing the traumatic visions. What was this woman doing to him?

  ‘Will you deal with him?’ The man’s gruff voice broke Alex’s trance. ‘Take care of his . . . interfering?’

  The woman continued to stare. She rested her hand on Alex’s shoulder. He flinched but then relaxed. Her touch was light and she slid her fingers over the muscle, gently caressing him before pulling her hand away.

  ‘No,’ she said. ‘There’s no need for that.’

  The man huffed, seeming to disagree. He spat something in Russian and the woman snapped her head around, responding in kind. The man put his hands up in submission.

  No to what? Alex wondered. What was involved in dealing with him, and why had she saved him that ordeal?

  ‘He will stay here,’ she said. ‘And take off his restraints. Dr Madison isn’t dangerous. He could be useful.’

  Alex tried to hide his surprise. The dynamic between the two was puzzling. He was a problem, but they didn’t agree on what to do with him. The man approached Alex and tore the straps off his wrists and ankles, leaving them hanging. He didn’t seem at all worried that Alex might try to fight. Being twice Alex’s size, Alex couldn’t blame him.

  ‘Why are you keeping me here?’ Alex risked the question. He directed it at the woman but watched the man for his reaction. ‘Is Dr Tau here?’

  Neither answered. They whispered a few words to each other. The man stiffened and nodded.

  ‘Do you know Mia Anastos?’

  Both of them stopped talking, turning to stare at Alex. The man raised his eyebrows, but the woman shook her head again, uttering more Russian. They argued for several seconds, but while the man got more agitated, the woman became calmer and more composed. She finished their argument with a string of soft Russian words.

  ‘Da,’ said the man, looking defeated. Without glancing at Alex, he headed for the door. He exited and left the door open. The woman paused. She nodded to herself, watching Alex.

  ‘You’ve stirred up trouble, Alex,’ she said. ‘You should never have come here.’

  Alex was about to speak but she shook her head and put her fingers to her lips. His mind went blank. Whatever he was going to say evaporated from his mind as the woman turned and exited the room.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  Mia was woken, jolted out of sleep by a nurse who refused to look her in the eye. She was told to use the bathroom and wash herself.

  ‘Why?’

  The nurse shook her head. Two muscular men in grey boiler suits entered the room. They unstrapped Mia in silence and frogmarched her out into a long white corridor with doors every few yards. They stopped at the third door along, ushering her into a bathroom. It was clinical, reminding Mia of a hospital ward and shared facilities. How many other people were here? she wondered. Were there others like her? Scores? Hundreds?

  Mia asked the guards and was met with silence. They both stood in the bathroom with her, pretending not to watch as she pulled her clothes off and scrubbed her skin under the open shower.

  She sat on the toilet, dabbing her plaster cast with a towel, staring at the military-style boots of the closest guard, wondering if she could take both men. She doubted it. Her head seemed clearer – had the drugs stopped? But she was no match for both. One by surprise, perhaps, but not both. She had no weapon and, despite the strength and fitness she’d developed from months surviving on the streets, superior numbers always won in brawls. Two six-foot men versus one woman. Mia didn’t like the odds and so continued to sit, emptying her bowel and bladder, her modesty gone.

  She stood waiting in front of the guards. The one on the left held out clean underwear and a gown. He made her wait, casting his eyes over her naked body, the smallest smile cracking at the edges of his lips. Mia stared through him, waiting. She had no advantage here and fighting would make it worse. She must bide her time and wait. They might kill her; they might let her go. She had no idea.

  There was suspense in the air. Confusion and indecision on the part of both doctors and guards, and the scarred doctor refused to answer her questions and she remained captive and in the dark.

  What to do with the monster? Mia hoped they didn’t rush their decision.

  The guard holding the clothes turned to his colleague. ‘Give us a few minutes, yeah? Wait outside.’

  The guards rarely spoke. This one sounded English, cockney. Mia recognised many accents, and this place held more than most.

  His partner frowned, breaking his frosty professional gaze. He appeared to consider the request.

  ‘I don’t think I can do that.’ Not English. German, perhaps; a mild accent but distinctive.

  Cockney sniffed. He approached Mia. Before she could move he grabbed her, his hand sliding around to her bottom. He gripped it hard and pulled her towards him. His fingers slipped inwards, searching, rough between her legs. Her heart hammered. This wasn’t about to happen, was it? Of all the things she could suffer, she hadn’t expected this.

  She turned to the other guard, her face trying not to plead, her mind whirring. If the other guard left, it would be just the two of them. Could this man overpower her? Was it that easy for him? Mia would fight, she’d have to, but he was huge, his muscles rippling under his T-shirt. She saw desire on him, a surge of excitement. He had one single thing on his mind today, and Mia started to prepare herself. Her body lurched into fight-or-flight mode, the latter impossible, the former her only option.

  The German guard stepped forward. ‘I can’t let you do it. Leave her be.’

  Cockney snapped his head around. His hand remained on Mia, but his fingers relaxed their grip. She stepped back and his hand fell away.

  The two guards squared up, face to face, but the German one fingered the radio on his hip.

  ‘Don’t make me do this, my friend. Let’s put it down to a lapse in judgement, keep it between the two of us.’

  Cockney paused. His face screwed up but Mia knew he was done. He huffed, throwing the gown and pants on the wet floor.

  ‘Get dressed,’ he said, turning away, taking his position at the door once again, and this time his gaze fell on the wall, away from Mia.

  Mia crouched to pick up the clothes. She glanced at the German guard, but he wouldn’t look at her either. He was chewing on gum, staring straight ahead, recovering from the near-conflict.

  Mia dressed and stood and let herself be escorted to her room. The German guard strapped her to the bed while Cockney waited
by the door, his face like thunder.

  Once Mia was secure on her back, both of them left. Mia saw Cockney glance her way, just for a second. His eyes were wild and violent, but he left before German, who gave the room the once-over before closing the door. It hissed and clicked behind him.

  Mia stared at the closed door, wondering what would happen if she found herself alone with Cockney. She wondered if she’d have a chance to defend herself, a chance to escape.

  Wishful thinking, and Mia knew it. She had no power here. Her power lay in the shadows, sneaking around, staying hidden, taking her prey when she needed it and disappearing when done. Here, she was a captive, an exhibition, an experiment.

  But what would happen when the experiment ended?

  CHAPTER FORTY

  Mia’s heart rate had dropped. The guards were gone. It felt late in the day. She hadn’t slept for several hours. Her mind was clearer still. No more sedatives, she assumed.

  The white of the ceiling was tiring on her eyes. She closed them, slowing her breathing, feeling her craving tickling at the edges. Count your breaths, Mia. Slowly in, slowly out.

  The door clicked. Please not the guards, she thought. Keeping her eyes closed, she pretended to be asleep, hoping they’d leave. She heard footsteps and the squeak of one of the stools being dragged across the floor.

  ‘Is she asleep?’

  Not the guards. A doctor. Familiar.

  Mia kept her eyes closed and her breathing slow. The voice belonged to one of the scarred doctor’s colleagues. It wasn’t the woman; if it had been, Mia would have spoken. Instead she let them think she was asleep. Perhaps they’d leave her in peace.

  ‘Shall we wake her?’ The same voice.

  ‘No.’

  The second voice caused the flash in Mia’s mind. A lightning scar and then darkness. The scarred doctor who had treated her. It made Mia hold her breath for a second. She tensed, then forced herself to relax. If she was a monster, he wasn’t far off one himself, but she didn’t want to speak to him. Not now.

  A few moments of near-silence passed. Mia heard feet shuffling around, heavy breathing and the huffing of the doctor.

  ‘It’s OK, Aubyn, they’re not listening.’

  ‘You sure?’ The doctor called Aubyn sounded weak, scared. It worried Mia.

  ‘They’re shipping out.’

  Mia risked a peek. Opening her eyes a fraction, she watched the backs of the two doctors. Both wore white coats and were hunched over the work surface by the wall, scribbling on to forms. She snapped them closed when Aubyn turned to look at her.

  ‘And this one, Dr Tau? What do we do?’

  Mia let out a hiss. Dr Tau. The scarred doctor’s name. He wasn’t in the black book, but here he was, the monster responsible for Mia’s condition. He had a name. It almost made him human.

  Dr Tau coughed. ‘We do as we’re told,’ he said. His voice was weary. It was obvious he didn’t agree with his orders, but it generated little sympathy in Mia. Given the opportunity, she’d take his life in an instant.

  More scribbling. Mia’s heart thumped in her ears.

  ‘What are her latest oxy readings?’

  ‘The chart says elevated nine hundred per cent. Stable.’

  ‘That’s incredible.’

  ‘I agree.’

  ‘But they’re willing to risk losing her?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Mia swallowed. Their voices were loud in her ears and she struggled to comprehend. Her throat tickled, a result of the drying effect of trying to keep her breathing slow and sleep-like. She feared opening her eyes again, puzzled by what she heard yet desperate to hear more. They were talking about her. They knew about her addiction. They had caused it.

  ‘When is she getting the new compound?’

  ‘Today. Later.’

  ‘But it doesn’t work.’

  Mia heard a sharp intake of breath. Dr Tau huffed, clearing his throat before responding.

  ‘It’ll work on the endorphin production.’

  ‘But we haven’t tested it. We don’t know what it’ll do to her.’

  ‘She’ll feel pain. Hers, other people’s. She’ll be in a world of pain.’

  Feel pain. Hers? Mia’s confusion deepened.

  ‘But it won’t stop the addiction. The latent withdrawal will continue. We haven’t even begun to get that stabilised. She’ll do what the others did to themselves. She’ll be dead within twenty-four hours.’

  ‘Stop telling me things I already know,’ snapped Tau.

  A snort from Aubyn. ‘This doesn’t bother you?’

  Mia’s breathing trembled, along with the rest of her body. She followed what they were saying but didn’t understand it.

  Tau’s stool squeaked. Mia risked another look. He was off his stool and pulling together several papers from the worktop.

  Tau sniffed. ‘Let’s not talk about it. Let’s do our jobs. We give her the compound,’ he said, ‘get the results. Regardless of what happens, we’ve been ordered to hand her over. They’ll deal with her.’

  Aubyn also stood up. The two doctors were animated. Mia’s eyes were wide open, watching these two discuss her fragile life. Should she speak? Scream? Would it make any difference?

  ‘You can’t let them have her,’ said Aubyn. ‘I know this is the frontier, Tau, I’m not an idiot. I know there are sacrifices. I’ve made enough of my own. But this young lady . . . We could save her, treat her. We haven’t finished.’

  Mia lifted her head from the pillow. She couldn’t help it. This was it.

  ‘Christ, you’re naive, Aubyn,’ hissed Tau. He turned away, silently gathering his papers. He made for the door. Aubyn gathered his own and followed.

  ‘This was your plan?’ said Aubyn.

  ‘Don’t be obscene,’ said Tau. ‘This was their plan. I follow orders, and so must you.’

  Neither of the doctors even glanced at Mia as they exited the room. If they had, they’d have seen her trembling, hyperventilating as the panic shook her body. Only when the door closed and locked did she utter a sound – a long, slow sob as she contemplated the end of her life, and what that meant.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  Mia slept fitfully, drifting in and out of exhaustion, but now her head rushed with heat and speed. She tried to lunge upwards, only to jolt when the straps yanked her arms. Her shoulders cracked, the joints protesting at the stress.

  ‘Nearly,’ said a voice.

  Mia’s ears rang. High-pitched like tinnitus, it changed tone and faded.

  ‘No,’ said another voice. ‘One more.’

  Again, a shot of heat went through Mia. It jerked every muscle in her body and she strained against the straps. Her vision sparkled with stars and her hearing disappeared, to be replaced with a fresh high-pitched whine.

  ‘That’ll do it,’ said the first voice.

  Mia’s heart thumped through her chest. She blinked rapidly, trying to focus on the shapes in front of her. They came into focus: two white blurs, two white-coated doctors. Dr Tau and his colleague, Aubyn.

  Tau stood back. He held a metal-pronged device in each hand, each one attached to thick black cables snaking away to a black box on the worktop. The box hummed. Electric. What had he done to her?

  Mia shook her head. The room spun. She felt sick and tilted her head to the right. Her stomach heaved and bile filled her mouth. She spat it on to the bed, but more followed. She heard the doctors swear and one of them threw a towel next to her face, another on the floor.

  ‘Get the orderly in here,’ said Tau. ‘I can’t work around that stench.’

  Mia heard the click and hiss of the door. When it opened she heard more sounds – a mixture of an alarm and machinery. She heard shouts, people moving. The noises were new. Normally, it was all quiet when the door opened. Something was happening.

  The door closed but opened again almost immediately.

  ‘Well?’

  Aubyn shook his head. ‘It’s just us,’ he said. ‘I think they’re leav
ing.’

  Tau huffed. He shuffled over and kicked the towel around the floor, mopping up the contents of Mia’s stomach. She waited until he’d finished then spat, turning her head to face the ceiling. The bastards had electrocuted her, along with whatever else they were talking about. What had they pumped into her? Whatever it was, it seared through her mind like wildfire. Her muscles twitched, stabilising after the shock. Her broken arm ached. Her neck ached. She moved it but winced as a nerve caught. It hurt and she tried to stretch.

  Wait.

  Mia paused. Her heart fluttered. She moved her neck to the left, feeling the muscle pull with tension. Then to the right and . . .

  The pain shot through her body, a jolt so pure Mia groaned.

  She did it again, wrenching her neck, feeling the nerve catch. The wave of trauma flooded her brain, causing another gasp.

  Pain, glorious pain.

  Mia was confused. She paused. Her heart hammered so fast her chest hurt. It hurt. She willed it faster.

  ‘Tachycardia,’ said Aubyn. ‘Jesus. It’s over two hundred.’

  ‘It’ll calm down,’ said Tau. Both doctors stood back from Mia, staring at the screens, checking their notes.

  ‘If it doesn’t, I’ll need to—’

  ‘No,’ said Tau. ‘She gets the N13 compound and the trigger. Nothing more.’

  ‘But . . .’

  Mia jerked. The familiar call of desire leached up, like a creature awakened from its slumber. It crept out of her stomach into her chest, hearing her heartbeat, feeling the morsel of pain in her neck. It wanted more, it wanted satisfying. It wanted feeding.

  She monitored her symptoms. She usually had no choice but to wait – to battle the creature until she found her prey, someone in pain who could transfer the glorious sensation to her. But now . . . Mia had almost forgotten what it felt like. Almost.

  She clicked her neck. Another fragment. Her addiction snapped it up, the pleasure centre of her brain lit up and the waves juddered through her body.

  ‘More,’ she whispered, snapping her neck as hard as she could. The pain and pleasure came together, like a couple in an intricate dance, like lovers wrapped around each other. No sooner had the pain registered than the pleasure smoothed the edges, shooting to her extremities and erogenous zones.