Cheaper to Keep Her part 2 (The Saga Continues)

by Kiki Swinson presents Unique

  “Nigga, do I look like I’m one of your kids?” she spat. “You don’t be telling me to shut the fuck up! I’m a grown ass woman.”

  “Well, take your grown ass out of my house,” he spat back.

  I tried to hold back my laughter. But this whole argument was so funny, I couldn’t help myself. However, I tried snickering very quietly. Unfortunately, it wasn’t quite enough, because Ms. Kim heard me. “So, you think this shit is funny, huh?”

  “I wasn’t laughing at you,” I lied, trying to prevent another argument from happening. I was really not in the mood. So I hoped she’d cut me some slack.

  “Well, who the fuck was you laughing at?” she asked sarcastically, and then she took two steps towards me.

  Devin must’ve thought something was about to go down because he interfered really quick.

  “Kim, carry your stupid ass home right now,” he demanded.

  “Fuck that! I was here first. And now you’re going to let this dirty looking bitch come up in here like she’s better than me. Nah, this shit ain’t happening!”

  “Bitch! Who the fuck you calling dirty?” I roared. At this point, I was fed up with her blatant disrespect. Okay, granted, I looked a hot mess but she could’ve checked that dirty comment to herself. I had no intentions of breaking up there little nightcap. All I wanted was a place to lay my head tonight and then I was going to be out in the morning. But no, she gotta get all personal like she wanna run up on me. She better check herself before I take her motherfucking head off her shoulders.

  “I’m talking to you, dirty girl!” she replied, and then she took two more steps towards me.

  Now I wasn’t in the mood to beat this bitch down, but I swear, if she acted like she wanted to take one swing at me, then I was going to beat her ass like she stole something. As a matter of fact, I was going to take out all my anger and frustrations on this bitch for everything I had been through in these last twelve hours. So if she knew what I knew she would get the fuck away from me as quickly as she could.

  Luckily for her, Devin grabbed her by the arm and escorted her dumb ass out of the front door. She didn't go willingly. She made him put her ass out with force. She was kicking and screaming like crazy. “Get the fuck off me!” she started punching him in the back after he threw her over his shoulders.

  I stood there and watched him struggle to get her out of the apartment. I had to admit that she was giving him a run for his money. Devin was an average height of a man but his frame was small. He had to be every bit of a hundred and forty pounds. And this chick, Kim, was at least a hundred and sixty pounds, but she was built up in all the right places.

  After struggling for a mere two minutes, he finally got her out of his apartment. And once he was able to close and lock the front door, Kim went on a rampage by kicking and punching the front door. I stood there and watched Devin. He didn’t know what to do. I thought at one point he was going to open the front door and snatch her ass back in here. But that’s not what happened. He yelled through the door and told her if she didn’t leave he would call the police. She, in turn, threatened that if he called the police, then she would tell that he had drugs in the house.

  When I heard that, I was about to flip out. I wasn’t about to get caught up in that bullshit. I had just gotten out of jail, so you know I wasn’t trying to go back, especially behind a nigga’s drugs that I wasn’t fucking. Oh, hell no! I can’t have that. So while she was outside his front door making an ass out of herself and screaming out loud how she was going to call the police herself and tell them he had drugs in his house, I got freaked out.

  “Call ‘em, bitch! I don’t give a fuck! Now carry your fishy pussy ass home!” he yelled back through the front door.

  I pulled on his shirt and said, “You don’t have drugs in here do you?”

  “I got some personal shit that I’m smoking, but that’s it,” he told me.

  “Are you sure?” I pressed the issue. I had to know the truth. Yes, I was in his domain, and I needed a place to stay for the night, but I didn’t need to put my freedom on the line for it. I would rather sleep on a bench in the park than to go back to jail for another crime I didn’t commit. No way.

  “Don’t believe that bullshit she’s saying. Just ignore her and go in the bathroom so you can change,” he instructed me. So I took him for his word and left the room. When I got into the bathroom I could still hear Kim yelling from outside of the house. She was going off on Devin like some shit was about to pop off. That chick caused so much commotion that it wouldn’t surprise me if the police came. And in order to block all that drama out, I decided to hop in the shower. I needed to whine down and get my mind right before I headed back out into the streets tomorrow.

  I wondered if the hot water would wash away and cleanse the sins of men.

  Cheaper to Keep Her part 2 Unique

  Later That Night-Chapter Sixteen

  If I didn’t have drama in my life, I wouldn’t have anything.

  By the time I got out of the shower, all the chaos had come to a halt. I was so happy because it had gotten so peaceful. I threw my wet clothes across the back of Devin’s kitchen chair so they could dry completely and then I grabbed a sheet from his hall closet. When I was about to lay down on this living room sofa, he scared the shit out of me when he opened up the front door and walked back into the apartment.

  “I didn’t know you were outside. I thought you were in your bedroom,” I said and then I took a seat on the sofa.

  Devin flopped down on the couch beside me. “I had to go outside and calm her silly ass down. She wasn’t gonna leave unless I talked to her,” he told me. He tried to act like he had really done something spectacular. I listened to the mess he was trying to fill my head up with and acted like I was extremely sorry for everything that went on. But I honestly didn’t give a fuck. I was dry and I was about to get me some much needed rest, so I could care less.

  “Where is she now?” I asked.

  “She got in her car and went home.”

  I smiled. “Just like that?” I asked jokingly.

  Devin smiled back. “Nah, not really. I had to tell her some shit she wanted to hear and then she left.”

  “Come on, Devin, stop bullshitting me. It took more than just that. I mean, I know she wanted to know who I was.”

  He looked at me bashfully. I knew that look. He used to give it to me when I caught his ass in a lie. “Yeah, she wanted to know how I knew you and if I ever fucked you.”

  “What did you tell her?”

  “I told her nah.”

  “Nah, what?”

  “I told her no me and you ain’t never fucked and that you were like my baby sister.”

  “And she bought that lame ass story?”

  “She’s gone, ain’t she?”

  I smacked him against his arm. “You still ain’t shit!”

  “Ouch!” he said, covering up his arm with his other hand.

  “Oh boy, shut up! That little smack didn’t hurt,” I told him and then I laid my head back against the headrest.

  “You’re tired, ain’t you?”

  I yarned. “Yes, I am exhausted. I’ve been running all day long it seems like,” I began to say and then I paused.

  “Why you stopped talking?” he wanted to know.

  “I was finished,” I lied.

  He looked at me strange because he knew when I was lying. And now, it seemed more obvious than in the past. Granted, we had history, but I knew Devin never really took me seriously, so he never had my best interest at heart. He was one of those typical niggas who wanted a woman in his life when it was convenient for him. He figured that when feelings got involved, shit got complicated. So I kept my mouth shut. Telling him everything I had been through wouldn’t mattered to him . . . because he wouldn’t have done shit about it.

  “Well, at least tell me how the hell you got your clothes wet like that? You looked like somebody threw your ass in a pool.”

  “That’s exactly w
hat happened,” I lied once again.

  “Really!”

  “Yep,” I replied nonchalantly.

  “So, whose house were you at?”

  “I was at a hotel with a couple people I knew. And after that stupid shit happened, I left.”

  “When did you get out of jail?”

  “Early this morning.”

  “Whatcha’ out on bail?”

  “Nah, the prosecutor dropped the charges because they didn’t have enough evidence to convict me.”

  “Yo’, let me tell you that when I heard about that shit I couldn’t believe it. I was like, hell nah, Lynise ain’t did no shit like that. But when I ran up on your home girl, Diamond, at the club about a few days after you got locked up, she was saying that you were wrapped up in a lot of shit. So I didn’t know who or what to believe.”

  “Fuck that bitch! She was the one that help that motherfucker set me up. But it’s cool. She’ll get hers!” I snapped.

  Devin threw his hands up. “Hold up! Don’t kill the messenger.”

  “I’m just saying that what she did was really fucked up. She let a piece of dick come between us. Plus, she lied on me. So I will never forgive her for that shit!”

  “You said the same shit about me.”

  “What?”

  “That you’ll never forgive me.”

  “I haven’t,” I replied sarcastically and then I smiled.

  Devin reached over and tickled me in my side. “So, why you here?”

  I giggled because he was tickling me in my weak spots. I tried to push his hands away from me, but he was just a little stronger than I was. “You better answer me,” he pressed the issue.

  “If you let me go then I can answer you,” I continued to force him away from me.

  He tickled me a couple more times and then he left me alone. After I got myself together, I looked at him and told him the truth without making myself look any worse than I’d already had. It was simple. I wasn’t cool with any of my family and after Diamond had stabbed me in the back, I was no longer a part of her world. And even though Devin had hurt me time and time again behind his infidelities, I still had mad love for him . . . which reminded me that I needed to keep my pussy to myself tonight.

  Devin and I got along better before we started fucking. And not that it mattered anyway, considering he’d just gotten him some pussy before I got here. “Look, Devin, I would love to talk to you until the sun comes up, but I am extremely tired, so please let me get at least a couple hours of sleep.”

  He took another long look at me and then he said, “Okay. A’ight. I’ll let you get some sleep.” Before he got up from the sofa, he pat me on my thigh, “If you want to come and get in the bed with me, then you know where I am.”

  “Yeah, okay,” I said and then I went into a zone. I heard him when he walked down the hallway and entered his room. I assumed he’d close his door but he didn’t. He probably figured I’d get desperate enough and try to come and get in the bed with him. He was definitely irresistible but I had enough of his bullshit. And after what went down tonight with Ms. Kim, it would be in my best interest to let her have Devin and all the fucking drama that came with him.

  I tossed and turned all night and couldn’t get one wink of sleep from thinking about the shit that happened at Katrina’s house. I even thought about where I would’ve been if I hadn’t jumped off the ledge of her house. Who knows, I’d probably be dead somewhere stuffed inside of a couple of garbage bags. Or even worse, I could’ve been getting tortured and dying a slow and painful death right now. Boy, what a tragedy that would be. And the messed up part about it is that the little bit of family I had wouldn’t even give a fuck. Not once while I was locked up did I get a fucking card or a visit from any of them. The thought of me being related to them made me sick to my stomach and from this day forward, I promised myself that I was going to deal with this situation I’ve gotten myself into and then I was going to get out of this God-forsaken place. And if it meant that I wouldn’t see any one of them again, then so be it.

  After tossing and turning half of the night, I finally dozed off. I woke up around nine in the morning and went straight to the bathroom. When I walked inside, I found Devin sitting on the toilet taking a shit. The fact I walked in on him while he was indisposed and the smell from his shit caught me off guard. I backed out of the bathroom immediately after I went in. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in here,” I apologized.

  “You all right,” he assured me.

  But in all actuality, I wasn’t all right. I had just inhaled a ton of his shit, and then on top of that, I witnessed him getting on the toilet with his pants down. So how was I going to come back from that one?

  “Can you please hurry up?” I yelled through the door.

  “Go in my room and use the other bathroom.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  “Wait, go in the kitchen and get you a couple sheets of paper towels because I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom.”

  I sighed heavily as I did as he instructed me to do.

  Once I had a few sheets of paper towels in hand I raced through Devin’s bedroom to the master bathroom. I quickly inspected the toilet seat before I sat down. I couldn’t imagine sitting down on a toilet seat with dried piss spots on it. That would definitely send me over the edge. The thought of it alone made my skin crawl. So I immediately copped a squat and handled my business.

  I was in and out of his bathroom in less than two minutes flat. When I exited his bedroom he was coming out of the other bathroom and we met in the hallway. He had a newspaper tucked away underneath his armpits. His face showed a sign of relief and he looked like he was five pounds lighter. He displayed all the traditional signs of taking a shit. I smiled and told him that he looked like he dropped a few pounds.

  He smiled back at me. “Oh, so you got jokes now?”

  I walked by him and headed back into the living room. d piNope.”

  He followed me momentarily and made a detour into the kitchen. I heard him drop the newspaper on the table and then I heard the refrigerator door open. “I’m about to eat a bowl of cereal. Do you want some?”

  “Nah, I’m cool.”

  He peeped his head around the corner. I saw him through my peripheral vision.

  “You sure?”

  I turned towards him and said, “Yes, I am sure.”

  “A'ight now, don’t be salivating all over my Fruity Peebles when I start eating them.”

  “Oh trust me, I won't.”

  While Devin fixed himself a bowl of cereal, I grabbed the remote-control and hit the power button. I kind of figured nothing was worth watching on TV besides the news. I was tired of dead bodies and sad ass news and truthfully, I wasn’t ready to hear about somebody else’s body being found. So I surfed through the channels and decided to watch a little bit of SpongeBob. I loved this cartoon just like all of the other kids. Plus, SpongeBob kept me from the reality that was going on around me. I didn’t want to think about what was going on outside of Devin’s front door, so I turned the volume up and lost myself in the show.

  It shocked me to have Devin come and take a seat next to me. It seemed like he enjoyed the cartoon more than me. We both sat there and laughed until we couldn’t laugh anymore.

  In my mind, I wonder why life couldn’t be this simple and enjoyable all the time.

  Cheaper to Keep Her part 2 Unique

  Playing with Fire-Chapter Seventeen

  Devin’s Blackberry started ringing off the hook while we were watching TV.

  I thought it was reality shaking me back to the here and now. SpongeBob was my temporary escape.

  For a moment, I thought it was that ghetto chick, Kim, but when Devin answered the phone and said, “What's good nigga?,” I figured it out that it wasn’t Kim. I couldn’t hear the caller but the farther Devin got into the call, I figured out what they were talking about.

  “Get the fuck out of here. Nigga, say it ain’t so!” Devin said as he l
ooked at me.

  I looked back at him and hunched my shoulders as if to say, why you looking at me? He didn’t response to my gesture but he did continue on with his conversation.

  “So when did this shit happen?” He paused why the other person talked. “Man, please tell me you bullshitting me!” he begged and fell silent again. “Do you know I almost went up in there last night? If Kim wouldn’t had called me last night and asked me if she could come over here, I would’ve been up in that spot last night.” He paused again so the other caller could get a word in.

  “Yo’ man, I owe Kim my life. I mean, do you know I would probably be a dead motherfucker if she didn’t want to give me some pussy last night?” he said and then he stood up from the chair. I watched him leave the living room as he continued his conversation. I could tell the thought of him getting killed while he was getting a lap dance inside of Magic City wore heavy on his mind, which was why he had to get up and walk around his apartment.

  But you know what? He was right. He probably would’ve been inside of the club last night when it blew up. He was known to make it rain in there with his one dollar bills. That’s where I met his no-good ass! Magic City was his spot. He loved that place like he loved pussy. For him not to be in there the night that it caught on fire spoke volumes. If he knew like I knew, he’d better be thanking the Good Lord above instead of Kim’s dumb ass.