Millionaire Wives Club

by Tu-Shonda Whitaker

  Evan pushed herself away from the sink and lit a cigarette. She tried to clear her mind, but as soon as the flashback of her mother left, the disarray with Kendu took over her thoughts. She eased smoke from the corner of her mouth and watched it do an evaporating dance. I have to swallow the fucked-up feeling and handle my business, she thought. Besides, I have this … it doesn’t have me. And if that fails, then fuck it. I’ll lay down the law and let him know—she anxiously took a toke—that at the end of the day I don’t need a man … She released the smoke. All I need is to stay black and die … Shit—she gave a slight chuckle as she sucked the butt of her cigarette—I already told him I’m tired of feeling like the only one loving me is me. And if he wants to leave, then I’ll gladly open the door and watch his ass disappear into the elements.

  Evan took one last pull off her cigarette before walking over to the toilet, dropping the burning butt into the water, and listening to the hiss of the dying flame before flushing it away.

  She popped a stick of gum into her mouth, cracked the door open, and caught the smell of the burning food she had left on the stovetop half an hour ago.

  Once in the kitchen she looked at Kendu, who sat on the sectional in the den area of the kitchen, sipping a cup of java and reading the morning paper. “What’s your problem? You can’t smell and shit?” she snapped. “If you would stop being so cheap and giving the chef every other weekend off, I wouldn’t have to deal with this cooking shit.”

  Instead of responding, Kendu rattled the paper and flipped a page.

  “I know you’re not ignoring me.” Evan shook her head. This was not what she had planned. Already her emotions had her going against her “be calm” constitution.

  Kendu didn’t budge; instead he continued what he was doing.

  Evan hated to be ignored; it enraged her and she felt she was slowly unraveling out of control. Her head was spinning and her mind kept telling her to relax. She walked over to the refrigerator, removed the orange juice, and set it on the counter.

  “Evan,” Kendu said, looking toward her, “we need to go someplace and talk.”

  Evan slammed a glass on the island. “Oh, I know damn well you’re not speaking to me now?” She pointed to her chest. “I thought you were reading the paper? Well, read the motherfucker then.” She knew she was starting to spaz a little too much.

  “Evan…,” Kendu called.

  She swallowed. The tone of Kendu’s voice rang in her head like raging drums.

  “Evan—”

  “What?!” she screamed.

  Kendu sighed. “I’m asking you nicely to please let’s go to lunch, dinner, or something—”

  “I’m so sick of motherfuckers,” she said more to herself than to him.

  “Evan, it’s not my intention to hurt you. I just think we need to live in two different places.”

  “For how long?”

  “How am I supposed to answer that?”

  “It was your bitch-ass idea. I mean really, since we’re being so fuckin’ adult”—she threw her hands in the air—“let me ask you this: Are you gon’ still fuck me, or you bouncin’ wit’ the dick too?”

  “I’m not doing this with you,” he said.

  “Oh really, I thought we were keepin’ it real. Tell me, Kendu, we gon’ still fuck or does your leaving come attached with the line of ‘we can still be friends’? Or are you”—she made air quotes—“‘honest’ enough to admit that you’re looking for some groupie-ass bitch?!”

  Kendu narrowed his eyes. “That’s enough.”

  “I thought we were talking, Mr. I-Need-Some-Space.” Evan spun on her heels. “You know I’m not stupid, don’t you?! I know you’ve been out there on the road after one of your games, fucking some bitch! I know it; I should’ve known I was too good for your ass!”

  “Too good? Have you lost your goddamn—” Kendu paused and started pacing the room, the cuffs of his black Versace pants swayed over his matching Prada loafers. The arguing and cussing, especially like this, was taking him out of his element. He was used to being cool, calm, and collected, with the ability to say how he felt and bring peace to the situation, all while never having to raise his voice. It was how he’d remained one of the New York Giants’ star players and had avoided scandal.

  It wasn’t that he didn’t know what he’d said to Evan was hurtful; he did, but, shit, it was hurting him even more to look in her face. “Like I said: This is done,” he said. He grabbed his keys and walked toward the front door.

  “You must be cheating on me!” Evan blocked his path and shoved him. “I’ma kill that bitch! I promise you I’ma kill her! Who is she?!” Evan yelled so loud that specks of spit flew into his face. “Just admit that it’s Milan!” Evan attempted to shake Kendu, but he was too big, too strong, and his six-foot-three muscular frame was too burly for her to move him.

  Evan could tell he was getting angrier by the second because of how his jaw tightened and his pecs thumped twice. She knew she was pushing her luck, but there was no way she could stop now. “How could you do this to me?!” She slapped him.

  Kendu lifted his hand and, midway into his instantaneous reflex to slap her ass back, he stopped. “Didn’t I tell you before to keep your hands to yourself?” he warned. “Stop fuckin’ putting your hands on me. Because if I bring it, I will knock your ass down and you will not get up.” He turned away from her and toward the door.

  Evan ran around him and blocked his path once more. “Oh, you wanna hit me!” she screamed. “You wanna beat me now?! Do it! Just do it. I know you want to.” She shoved him again.

  Kendu looked at Evan in disgust. He was tired of the dramatics, of her mental instability, and her constant nagging and begging. He didn’t hate her, but he was starting to, and if she continued to put her hands on him when they were arguing, he knew it would be only a matter of time before he blew his fuse and gave her what she’d been asking for.

  Even though he was the athlete, Evan was the one who’d had the affair, citing Kendu’s long playing hours and constant time on the road as the cause. And yeah, maybe he was away a bit much. And yeah, maybe instead of nursing his injury and entertaining plans of going back to the team, he needed to consider retiring so he could spend some time with his family, yet still, he had never expected that his wife would throw a tantrum by fucking another man, and then act as if he’d asked for it.

  Didn’t she understand that although he was famous and had enough money to last him several lifetimes, he was a man and that he hurt too? That he didn’t deserve to be making love to his wife and smelling another man’s scent? He didn’t deserve having to find out from their daughter that Mommy had a new friend who was some played-out one-hit wonder named Cash. And then when he asked Evan if she knew Cash, she lied and forced Kendu to find out the truth by secretly following her to a hotel. After he caused a scene, Kendu left her and promised he’d be gone forever.

  But then there was Evan’s suicide attempt and Aiyanna suddenly became ill, which made him feel guilty, as if he needed to work things out with his family. Which ultimately he did … but things were never the same. He fucked Evan, yeah, laughed with her, yeah, but there was always something in the pit of his stomach, something that ached his backbone and aggravated his pride that never allowed him to get over Evan having an affair.

  And it wasn’t the friendship Evan may have had with the other man, or the emotional attachment to the attention that Cash may have paid her. What bugged Kendu was his imagination and the dreams of his wife sucking another man’s dick, riding it, and cumin’ all over it. The nagging-ass question of if she called this man’s name, if he was hittin’ it from the back, and making her say who the best was and who her pussy belonged to.

  That was the shit he couldn’t deal with, and no matter how many times he tried to rid the thoughts from his head, it never worked. Instead, six months later after he’d come back home, he found himself pissed that he was still married to this chick.

  “For the last time,”
Kendu said, “this conversation is finished.”

  “Don’t try and put this on me! You were the one working all the time.” She pointed her finger at his face. “I needed you, our child needed you, and instead you were out tossing some fuckin’ ball around. You never listened to me when I reminded you that you had a family!” She pushed him on his shoulder.

  “Go ahead,” he said, more as a warning than a statement. “Enough.” He waved his hand under his chin.

  “You had a wife…,” Evan continued, as she shoved him again.

  “Ai’ight now!” He grabbed her hand but she slipped from his grip and pounded into him.

  “You practically forced me to be with someone else. You didn’t give a damn about me! Do you know what you had?!” She pushed him. “Why are you doing this to me?!”

  He grabbed her wrists. “What you want me to say, Evan? Huh? I told you I wanted to leave. But you don’t seem to hear that! So tell me what you need to hear to get the goddamn hint? Do you want me to tell you that I can’t stand looking at you? That I hate to even see your fuckin’ face? That I’m not attracted to you, and that the only reason my dick gets hard is because you suck it so goddamn well? Is that what you want? I’m tryna be a man and tell you that I’m done as peacefully as I know how, but that’s not enough for you. I don’t like you anymore, Evan. I don’t want you anymore. Even the perfume you wear stinks to me. I’m sick of fuckin’ lookin’ at you. Do you get it now? Do you understand that I want you out of my life?!”

  “We are a family!”

  “You are not my fuckin’ family!”

  Evan was stunned. Her mind told her to kick his ass, but judging from the way the veins on the side of his neck were jumping she thought better of it. Instead, she wanted to be taken out of herself… because this here, this shit that Kendu was doing, was some bullshit, and last she checked there was no rehab for it. Here she’d been injected with raw, throbbing, and excruciating heartbreak and this niggah had the nerve to feel himself … all because she had made one mistake, and now suddenly he was above loving her and she should get over anything she felt for him? Forget about the time when he said she’d given him the most precious gift of all: a beautiful baby girl?

  Did he understand all the lonely nights she had spent, or had he forgotten? And now suddenly his ass wanna buck? He wasn’t getting off that easy. Fuck that. Evan turned to Kendu. “You want space?! No problem, you only have to tell me once. Your wish is my fuckin’ command.” She charged down the hall. “You don’t have to leave, we’ll leave! Aiyanna!” Evan screamed. “Aiyanna!

  We’re not a family?” she said, quickly turning around and squinting her eyes at Kendu. “You would say some shit like that to me?”

  “What are you doing, Evan?” Kendu followed her as she stormed into their eight-year-old daughter’s room, pushing the double French doors open on Aiyanna, who was sitting with her legs crossed Indian-style in the middle of her canopy bed amid Bratz dolls and her dog, and watching High School Musical on TV. Evan yanked the girl off the bed by the elbow. Aiyanna instantly started crying and the dog barked in a frenzy.

  “We’re leaving! Your daddy said we aren’t a family!” Evan said frantically. “He doesn’t love us anymore, and he wants us gone! So hurry, we don’t have much time! Get your dog and get your shit!”

  Immediately Aiyanna started screaming like never before. Kendu didn’t know if she was hurting from the pain of her mother’s hold on her elbow or the gut punch of her words. “Let her go, Evan,” Kendu said calmly, attempting to get her to let go of Aiyanna.

  “No!” Evan snatched Aiyanna around. “Didn’t you just say that you wanted us out?! So we’re leaving!”

  “Evan … I’m warning you.” He turned Aiyanna toward him. “Daddy loves you—”

  “Your father’s a fuckin’ liar.” She snatched her daughter back. “You know he left you before, and he just told me he’s going to do it again. So all your friends will know! Your teacher will know! Everyone!”

  “It’s not like that.” Kendu turned Aiyanna toward him. Evan twisted her back. “You listen to me, he wants another family.”

  “Aiyanna.”

  “He ain’t shit. He said we weren’t his family! We’re not good enough. Don’t worry, I’ll work on getting you a new daddy—”

  As soon as Evan said that Kendu drew back his hand and smacked her so hard that her entire body froze before she fell to the floor, screaming, “You put your fuckin’ hands on me?! I been waiting for this day, motherfucker! Call the cops! Give me the phone, Aiyanna!”

  “No! Mommy!” Aiyanna yelled. “Don’t call the cops on my daddy! Please, not my daddy!”

  “I’ma have him locked up!”

  Aiyanna screamed as if she were going crazy, and though Kendu heard her crying he couldn’t stop himself from lifting Evan off the floor by her neck, and pressing his left thumb and index finger deeply into her jugular vein. “You keep testing me because you don’t believe that I will kill you. Well, you better believe it, because I will take you outta here, Evan, I swear to God I will!”

  “Daddy!” Aiyanna pulled on his leg. “Daddy, stop!”

  “You gon’ tell my daughter some shit like that?!” Kendu yelled.

  “Daddy, I know you love me! Daddy, please.” Aiyanna started to hyperventilate and wheeze profusely.

  Evan started to gag, and Aiyanna continued to pull on Kendu’s legs. “Daddy, please stop! You gon’ kill Mommy, Daddy! Please, don’t kill my mommy!”

  Instantly Kendu removed his hand from Evan’s throat and she slithered to the floor like a dying snake.

  “Daddy!” Aiyanna coughed and wheezed, still holding on to his leg. Kendu could feel the tears pushing against the back of his eyes. He hated to see his daughter crying like this, and he especially hated that he had put his hands on her mother.

  He picked his daughter up and held her in his arms.

  “Shh, calm down, you need your asthma pump.” He picked it up off her nightstand and Aiyanna took two whiffs.

  “Don’t leave me, Daddy.”

  “I’m not.” Unexpected tears rolled down his face. “Daddy loves you. Daddy would never leave you.”

  Aiyanna wiped his eyes with the back of her hand. “Daddy, do you want me and my mommy to leave? Say no, Daddy,” she cried.

  “No, not you. I don’t want you to leave.” He was now wiping her tears away.

  “You love me, right, Daddy? Say yes.”

  “Yes, I’ma always love you.”

  “You love my mommy?”

  Kendu stared at Evan, who was still holding her throat. He wanted to say no. “Yes, baby.”

  “Then make up,” Aiyanna cried. “Make up and say sorry, Daddy. You said boys not s’pose to hit girls.”

  He placed Aiyanna on the floor and looked at Evan. “You’ll never know how sorry I am.” Kendu walked over to Evan and helped her up off the floor.

  As Evan was steady on her feet Bridget and the camera crew walked into the room.

  “Oh, Bridget.” Evan faked a laugh. “I didn’t expect you so soon.” She held on to Kendu as if she were giving him a hug. “How’d you get in?”

  “The door was open.”

  “The bell works,” Kendu said as he slyly pushed Evan away.

  “I don’t believe ringing it is in my contract.” Bridget looked at Evan. “Why do you look so disheveled? And what was all the commotion we just heard?”

  “Kendu was just teaching us some football techniques. You know he loves contact sports.”

  “Yo,” Kendu said, disgusted and disturbed by what had just occurred, “I gotta go.”

  “Honey, wait.” Evan kissed him on the cheek and he whispered to her, “Get the fuck away from me.”

  Kendu looked back at Aiyanna. “Daddy needs a minute.”

  “Wait, Daddy!” Aiyanna cried.

  “Why is she crying?” Bridget pointed toward Aiyanna.

  Evan ignored her, and as Kendu continued out the door she turned to Aiyanna. “Get d
ressed,” she said with precise diction. “I am going to get my purse. Today is the day they film us shopping.”

  Milan

  “Close your eyes and count backward,” the nurse said as Milan lay on the gurney.

  Only a week had passed since the show had begun taping, and already Milan was avoiding the cameras. Today was supposed to be one of her shooting days, but there was no way she could allow this to be taped.

  As Milan was anesthetized into sleep her mind felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and her thoughts even more. She knew that one day she’d pay for this, but that was a chance she’d have to take. She was definitely pro-life, but right now the life she was pro was her own … and at this moment her desire not to wallow in defeat gave her little room to think of any other options.

  Besides, the day that she sat at the kitchen table with morning sickness, bills overflowing like water, and Yusef sitting at the other end of the table, complaining that he wasn’t about to get a job and be reduced to a minimum-wage piece of shit, was the day when she knew this had to end.

  There was no way she could worsen her situation by having this baby. It didn’t matter how much she wanted Yusef to change. What mattered was that instead of gold he’d turned out to be the pot of shit at the end of a pissy-ass rainbow, and she could make no more excuses for it.

  There was no way to explain away how in the last year her life had gone to hell. How they had gone from living in the lap of luxury to being the king and queen of late payments. From being carefree to being stressed out all the time. From having a staff to keep the apartment clean to her being solely responsible for the maintenance. No one in their right mind would understand this nonsense.

  Therefore she had to do what she had to do. She had enough liabilities. And she needed time to think and regroup, because right now she was drowning in fear. Fear of having to leave all of her plans behind and start anew.

  “Ms. Andrews,” the nurse whispered and patted the side of the bed. “Ms. Andrews, can you hear me?”