Alaskan Hearts
Page 12
“With flames?” he cringed. “Never.”
Clementine laughed and was instantly grateful when Ben did, too. Their laughter echoed off the pine trees, commingling so that Clementine was unsure where hers left off and Ben’s began.
“Can I ask you something?” he said once they’d grown quiet again.
She answered with mock solemnity. “No, I’m not a fan of any type of vehicle with flames. Even sleds.”
“Even sleds, huh?”
“Even sleds.”
“Then it’s a good thing my question has nothing to do with flames.” His gaze softened in a way that made Clementine’s heart flutter. “How would you feel about going on a proper date with me, Clementine?”
She knew she had no business saying yes. She was scheduled to return home in less than a week. There was an expiration date on whatever friendship they developed, and it was fast approaching. But today, Ben had opened up to her in a way that changed things. She was beginning to doubt whether she would be able to spend more time with him and simply walk away when her trip was over.
Every instinct she possessed told her to say no. She needed to end this now, while she still could. If she still could.
“A proper date?” She tried to steady her wobbly voice. “What exactly does that mean?”
“Dinner. Music. No dogs.” He took her hand in his. “May I escort you to the Gold Rush Trail Banquet tomorrow night? It’s not too fancy…we’re still in Alaska. But there will be dinner and a band. We can dress up a bit. I think you might enjoy yourself.”
Clementine was fooling herself if she thought she could turn him down. She wasn’t sure what she was doing anymore. She wasn’t sure of much at all, except that Ben trusted her enough to open up about his past. That, and he wanted to take her out on a date.
And she wanted very much to say yes.
She smiled and pretended they had all the time in the world. “That sounds lovely, Ben.”
Chapter Ten
“A date, huh?” Anya topped Clementine’s mug with a generous dollop of whipped cream and grinned.
The morning sun streamed in through the window behind her, where Clementine could see the snow-covered lake shimmering with icy crystals.
Beautiful, she mused. But it didn’t hold a candle to diamond dust.
“Yes.” Clementine nodded absently, as she tried to drag her mind to more practical matters. “A proper date, according to Ben.”
“Ben hasn’t dated anyone for a long time. Not that I know of anyway. This is exciting.” The barista tilted her head. “It is exciting, right? For you, too, I mean.”
Clementine reached for her morning coffee and tried to ignore the nagging sense of doubt that had taken up residence in her conscience overnight. “Of course.”
Anya eyed her with obvious concern. “Not that it’s any of my business, but you don’t exactly look excited.”
Clementine’s insides swirled. She felt vaguely dizzy. She supposed that’s what happened when there were two very different emotions warring with one another inside her head. She lowered her voice and leaned across the counter. “What am I doing, Anya? I can’t start dating Ben.”
As appealing as it was, it just wasn’t conceivable. In the dead of night, when she’d had trouble sleeping, it had seemed downright crazy.
Anya frowned. “Why not? I know you two are attracted to each other. Anyone who’s been around the two of you together can see that.”
If only it were that simple. Clementine sighed. “I live on the complete opposite side of the country, for one thing.”
“There’s that.” Anya shrugged.
“That’s kind of a big deal, don’t you think?”
“Not really.” She poured two cups of plain, black coffee and handed them to a pair of bearded, burly men at the opposite end of the counter. They were both wearing overalls that looked even thicker and warmer than their parkas. Mushers, no doubt.
“Not really? Are you serious?” Clementine raised a dubious eyebrow.
“Things like distance seem to sort themselves out, don’t they? Love conquers all and the like.” Anya poured herself a glass of water, took a sip and grinned.
Clementine plunked her coffee cup down on the counter.
“No one said anything about love,” she said, with a bit too much insistence. “Ben asked me on a date. A simple date. It wasn’t a marriage proposal or anything.”
If marriage was what she wanted, she’d be sitting in her cubicle back in Texas with Mark’s ring on her finger. Although on some level, she knew this wasn’t a fair comparison. She didn’t harbor the same ordinary, sisterly affection for Ben that she had for Mark. Far from it. Whatever she was feeling, it was far from ordinary.
What am I thinking? This is insane.
“No one said anything about love,” she repeated, more for her own sake than Anya’s.
“Exactly. You’re getting ahead of yourself. It’s a date. You’ll have fun.” Anya reached for Clementine’s cup. “I’m hereby revoking your caffeine privileges. You need to relax.”
“You’re right.” Clementine nodded, grateful that Anya was there to talk to. If she’d stayed in her room this morning, her stomach would be even more tied up in knots than it already was.
Anya handed her a glass of water the same size as her own. “Besides, there’s a much more important thing you need to be worried about.”
Clementine sat up a little straighter on her bar stool, grateful to have something to think about other than whatever was happening between her and Ben. “What?”
Anya grinned. “What are you wearing on this date?”
Clementine blinked. With all the tossing and turning she’d done the night before, this was one worry her mind hadn’t seized upon. “I have no idea.”
Anya turned the sign on the register over to the side that said Closed. “We’re going shopping.”
Clementine looked at the sign and laughed. “You’re just going to close up and take me shopping?”
“I’ll take my lunch early.” She ducked behind the counter for a moment and popped back up with her purse in tow. “It’s for a good cause.”
Clementine slid off her bar stool. “Lead the way.”
The quaint Aurora mall was a short walk from the hotel. As they navigated the ice-slicked sidewalks—Anya a bit more masterfully than Clementine—they made a quick list of things necessary for a proper date. The outfit, of course. Possibly a handbag. And shoes. Who could forget shoes? By the time they entered the double doors of the mall’s one large department store, Clementine realized she was in for a full-on girly shopping spree.
It was just what the doctor ordered.
Clementine was determined to enjoy herself. She refused to think about the plane ticket back to Texas that was sitting on her dresser in the hotel room. Because now, when she boarded that plane, she wouldn’t only be leaving the splendor of Alaska behind. She’d also be leaving Anya, Kodiak and Ben. And the rest of Aurora. The list was growing quite lengthy.
“What about this?” Anya held up a green dress with fluttery sleeves. “It would look great with your eyes.”
“I don’t know.” Clementine ran her fingertips over the wispy fabric of the sleeves. “I might freeze to death.”
“True. I forgot you’re not acclimated quite yet.”
Anya returned the dress to its rack and dived into a neighboring display. Clementine couldn’t help but smile at the look of fierce determination on her face. Shopping for a date appeared to be serious business to Anya.
“Oh! Clementine, look at this.” Her mouth spread into a satisfied grin as she spun around and presented another outfit.
This one was a fuzzy white sweater, sprinkled with crystals, and a long, matching wool skir
t trimmed at the bottom with a thick band of faux fur. It was gorgeous.
Clementine bit her lip. “I love it. But will I look Alaskan or more like Mrs. Claus?”
“Neither.” Anya thrust the ensemble toward her. “You’ll look like a snow angel.”
A snow angel. Clementine liked the sound of that.
Ben was taking her on a real date in this fantastic place—this winter wonderland known as Alaska. And she would look like a snow angel.
“So? What do you think?” Anya jiggled the hanger, and the crystals on the sweater glittered like diamonds.
A slow smile came to Clementine’s lips. “It’s perfect.”
* * *
A proper date.
Dinner. Music. No dogs.
It sounded heavenly, at least to Clementine. She realized Nugget had a far different opinion, however, when she crawled under the bedspread and refused to come out.
Clementine checked on the stray husky to see if she, too, was staging a protest. The big dog remained stretched out, belly up, beneath the desk where Clementine sat when she worked on her research reports for the magazine.
“Thank you for being so understanding, Moose.” Clementine gave the husky a pat on the head.
She hadn’t wanted to name the dog, knowing it would only make turning her in to the shelter more difficult if Ben chose not to keep her. But it seemed so sad that she didn’t have a name, not to mention impractical. And Moose suited the dog. Compared to Nugget, the stray was as big as one. Besides, it sounded Alaskan. So Clementine had christened her Moose.
“Nugget, it’s only one night. I’ll be home before you know it, and Moose is here to keep you company.” Clementine stood beside the bed with her hands propped on her hips, and waited.
The lump under the bed covers shimmied closer to the foot of the bed. The Pomeranian was engaged in a world-class pout. Short of skipping her date entirely—which was so not an option—Clementine knew of only one way to remedy the situation.
“I’ll bring you a doggy bag. How does that sound?”
The lump wiggled. Satisfied, Clementine grabbed her evening bag and slipped out the door. She knew the wag of a Pom tail when she saw one, even when it was hidden beneath a pile of blankets.
As she made her way downstairs, she couldn’t help but wonder what Ben would look like dressed in something other than flannel. Her skirt swished around her legs with the heavy weight of the fur trim when she rounded the corner into the lobby. At first she didn’t see Ben waiting for her beneath the outstretched paws of the polar bear. But when she passed the coffee bar, Anya flashed her a subtle thumbs-up and glanced toward the debonair man in the coat and tie—and Clementine did a double take.
Not only was he dressed in a slim-cut suit with a thin, black tie that emphasized his strapping shoulders, but he’d gone one step further in sprucing up for the evening.
He’d shaved. The beard was gone. In its place was a subtle dose of stubble, but by Alaskan standards, he was clean-shaven. As he watched her approach, he smiled, showing off his dimples and chiseled jaw, both now more visible than ever.
Clementine resisted the urge to run her fingertips over the smooth planes of his face when she reached his side. She clasped her beaded clutch to her chest in an attempt to hide the sudden hammering of her heart. “Hi, you.”
Ben’s gaze swept over her, and the appreciation in his blue eyes was obvious. He stared at her for what seemed like a full minute before he finally spoke. Even then, all he said was “Wow.”
Pleasure warmed Clementine to her core, so she didn’t hesitate when Ben asked if she would mind walking the few short blocks to the Aurora Convention Center for the banquet.
“Sure, let’s walk.”
“You won’t be too cold?” Ben eyed her bare neck, exposed by her upswept hair, with concern.
Too cold? With the sparks of electricity bouncing between them? Doubtful. “I’ll be fine.”
“Good.” His features relaxed into an easy, lopsided grin. “Because there’s something I’d like to show you.”
“That sounds oddly mysterious. Lead the way.”
He helped her into her coat, gathered her hand in his and made sure she was tucked snugly by his side when they stepped into the night. Clementine gave Anya a wave goodbye as the revolving door spun closed behind them.
She barely wobbled on the icy pavement, even in her new shoes. Bunny boots might be practical, but they weren’t exactly banquet material. She would have loved to wear a nice pair of glamorous stilettos. Real date shoes. Instead, she’d compromised and chosen a pair of creamy ivory suede boots with a wedge heel. Warm but feminine. Anya had even gone so far as to call them “subzero chic” when Clementine had modeled them in the department store.
“I hope you don’t mind that I brought my camera. I might need to take a few photos for work while we’re there.” Ben bent his head toward her as he spoke. Warm clouds of his breath swirled between them.
Mmm. Minty. “Of course not. I’m glad you brought it. If you’d shown up minus the beard and the camera, I might wonder if it was really you.”
He laughed and ran his free hand over his jaw. “You noticed the beard, huh?”
“Oh, yes. I noticed. What got into you? Isn’t your face cold?”
She was only teasing him, so she was surprised when he turned serious eyes on her and answered, “It’s been a while since I asked a woman on a date.”
A while. She wondered what that meant. She felt sure there hadn’t been a woman in his life since the accident.
Instead of asking these questions, she did what she’d decided to do every time she was tempted to worry about his past or his relationship with God. She prayed.
Lord, heal his heart.
A glimmer of hope burned in her chest. Ben had been up front with her. He admitted he had issues with God. He said he was angry and heartbroken about the loss of his dogs. He never implied he didn’t believe in Him.
He was afraid. Clementine knew fear when she saw it. Ben was afraid to trust God. After what had happened to him out on the Bering Sea, she couldn’t really blame him.
He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “You’ve got to know I think you’re special.”
“I think you’re pretty special yourself.” Clementine felt as though she were walking on air as they passed the convention center and other happy, chattering couples stepping out of taxi cabs and onto the snowy sidewalk. “Where exactly are we going?”
He stopped and turned to face her. Even in her fancy wedged boots, the top of her head barely reached his nose. She tilted her face up toward his and tried not to let her gaze fall on his lips.
“Close your eyes,” he murmured. “I’ll lead you the rest of the way. We’re almost there.”
“Are you crazy?” She looked at the ground and the heaps of snow piled up on either side of the pavement. “I can’t walk in this mess with my eyes closed. I can barely stand up straight with my eyes open.”
He breathed out a sigh. “I’m not the only one who’s paranoid. Do I have to ask you again to trust me? I said shut your eyes.”
She opened her mouth to protest again, but her words caught in her throat when he reached out and covered her eyes with his palm. His touch was tender, but his voice was firm. “Stop fighting me and close your eyes.”
This time she did as he said, but not without releasing a frustrated lungful of air. She may have let Ben kiss her, but she still wasn’t about to let him tell her what to do. “If I fall down in my new outfit, Ben Grayson…”
Her threat went unfinished and she let out a squeal as he wrapped his arms around her and swept her off her feet, quite literally. He carried her a dozen or so steps, then set her down as gently as if she were made of glass. He kept his arms wrapped around her and whisp
ered in her ear, “Did you buy that beautiful dress to wear for me tonight?”
Warmth rose to Clementine’s cheeks. She was aware of every frantic beat of her heart, echoing in her ears.
It’s not a dress, she wanted to say. It’s a sweater and skirt. But for once, she didn’t feel like teasing him. “You shaved for me. I dressed for you. It’s been a while for me, too.”
“Looking at you here in the moonlight, and knowing you as I do, I find that awfully difficult to believe.”
Her eyes still closed, her lips turned up in a bashful smile. It had been a while since she’d been on a date. Over a year since Mark. And it felt even longer. Not that she was complaining. She wanted to be alone.
She had, at least. Now she wasn’t so sure.
She was a world away from anything she’d ever known. In Alaska, of all places. But she felt more alive than she ever had before. Everything else was beginning to take on a fuzzy quality in her mind, like an undeveloped photograph.
She thought about the Bible verse in 1 Corinthians 13: “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.” Looking at her past, everything that had happened—or, more accurately, not happened—before was like looking in a mirror. Now she was finally seeing God, and all He had for her, face to face.
Then she remembered the rest of that chapter and how it ended with “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
The greatest of these is love.
Clementine suddenly found it difficult to breathe. Love? She wasn’t in love. She’d only known Ben a week. It couldn’t be love.
“I’m opening my eyes now, whether you like it or not.” She let her eyelashes flutter open and found Ben smiling at her. All the warmth in the world seemed to radiate from that smile.
The greatest of these is love.
He glanced over her shoulder. “Take a look around.”
She almost didn’t want to turn away. She would have been just fine to spend the rest of the evening looking at him, but she obediently spun around.