Surviving With Love

by Vickery, Rebecca J.

  “Let’s just hope it is the bonds and not somebody’s trash or an old weather balloon. Here, point the light down at your waist and legs so I can see what I’m doing.” He fashioned a rough climber’s harness of sorts around her legs and waist and tied it off in front. “Have you done this before?” he eventually thought to ask.

  “No, I’ve never had the occasion to get millions in bonds out of a tall tree at night before.”

  “You know what I mean, Parker,” he chuckled at her smart mouth.

  “Sort of. I’ve been hauled up a cliff, dangled over the edge of a bridge, and hung from a helicopter, but I haven’t had the pleasure with a tree top and never at night. But I guess now is a good time to try it. It should look great on my resume,” Stacey smiled at him to show she wasn’t really worried. Nothing at all to be concerned about.

  “I wouldn’t ask you to go if I thought there would be a problem. Besides, Parker, being dark you won’t see how far you could fall,” Cord couldn’t stop a big grin this time as he double-checked the knots and rechecked the strength of the limb that would be holding her.

  “That’s a real comfort, McConnell.” She tested the rope harness. “It feels okay. Let’s get this over with before I think about it too much.”

  “Take the light with you. Have you got your knife? If it is the bonds and you can manage it, just cut them loose and let them fall. If you get into trouble or something doesn’t feel right, let me know and I’ll let you down as fast as I can. I’ll lift you slowly at first to make sure everything’s going to work right.” Cord moved her around a little under the tree until he was sure he would be pulling her straight up.

  Stacey stuck the flashlight in the front waistband of her jeans and took out her pocketknife. Leaving it closed, she put it between her teeth, took a firm hold on the rope, and said a quick prayer that the bonds would be there.

  “Ready?” Cord asked quietly as he took up the slack in the rope.

  “Mm hmm,” she mumbled around the knife.

  Cord lifted her slowly off the ground and listened as the limb groaned, but didn’t crack.

  Stacey felt the ropes bite into her thighs through her jeans and she swayed back and forth as she went higher.

  Cord began using a smooth hand-over-hand motion and she went up faster. He lost sight of her in the darkness and hoped she would let him know when to stop.

  Stacey saw the bags as a large dark shadow as she got closer. The limb holding the rope was well above the dark shadowy clump. When she came even with what she hoped were the black backpacks, Stacey grunted loudly around the knife.

  Thankfully, Cord understood and halted her upward motion.

  Very carefully, she let go with her right hand and removed the knife from her mouth. She took several deep breaths. The least bit of movement caused her to swing. She reached out as far as she could, but couldn’t touch the dark objects hanging in the tree. She muttered a few words her mom would not want to hear.

  “You okay up there, Parker?” Cord called softly from below her.

  “Yes, sure, just dandy,” Stacey answered, positive she heard amusement in his voice again. Placing the knife in her mouth once more, she pulled out the light and switched it on. There were five black backpacks tied together making up the large dark clump. They were about four feet from her reach. Well, I knew this was going to be fun.

  Wedging the flashlight under her left armpit so the beam shone toward the packs, she then took her knife in her right hand. With the help of her left thumbnail, Stacey managed to open it without letting go of the rope with her left hand.

  “Cord, the packs are here. I need to swing over to cut them loose. I’m heavy. Can you hold me?” she called down.

  “Hold on. I’ll take a wrap around a tree to be safe.” Cord didn’t doubt he could hold her weight but feared her movements might cause the rope to slip in his hands.

  Stacey heard him moving around down below. “Oh, God,” she squeaked clutching the rope tighter as she dipped slightly before being pulled back up.

  “Sorry! Okay, I’m ready,” he called after taking a couple of wraps around a nearby pine. “Swing away.”

  Putting the open knife between her teeth, Stacey used her legs like she had as a child to start herself swinging. She got nearer the bags with each swing, finally catching hold of them with her right hand. Then she managed a secure grip with her legs and readjusted the light to see the lowest bag and where it was tied. Removing her knife from her mouth, she was ready to cut it loose.

  “Stay back. Load coming down,” she warned Cord. All I need is to drop one on his head and knock him out. She gave a nervous giggle at the fleeting thought then cut the strap lashing the backpack to the one above it. It fell with a loud thump when it hit the ground far below her. Readjusting the light each time to see where the packs were tied together, she cut them down one at a time.

  Her legs were losing anything to hold onto and trembled with exhaustion by the time she cut the last pack free. Swinging freely as the last one dropped, Stacey closed her eyes and held on until the motion slowed. Then she closed her pocketknife and stuck it in the back pocket of her jeans. She switched off the flashlight then put it back into her waistband before getting a firm grip on the rope with both hands. “I’m ready to come down, please.”

  Cord lowered her carefully. When her feet touched the ground, he blew out a deep breath in relief.

  Stacey’s legs wouldn’t hold her. She sat down to wait for the feeling to return to them.

  Cord hurried over to make sure she wasn’t hurt.

  “I’m okay, just my legs are asleep,” she told him as she rubbed at them and tried to wiggle her toes.

  “The blasted ropes,” he muttered, briskly massaging her legs for her.

  She groaned as her circulation began to return.

  “Am I hurting you?” he wanted to know.

  “Pins and needles,” she told him and began to move her feet to hurry the process. Finally, she was able to stand and he helped her out of the ropes.

  Taking the flashlight from her, he went to check the packs. After opening the fasteners and looking inside, he told her, “The bonds are here. You did it.”

  “We did it. At least this part of the job is done. What time will the chopper come in the morning?”

  “If the weather is fair, he’ll take off just before dawn. Then he’ll fly from where he left us at the river to Lolo Pass and back. That was the arrangement. We need to be at the best location for him to pick us up not long after the sun rises and activate the transmitter.” Cord coiled rope as he talked.

  “The only place I’ve seen open enough to land near here is the ridge up on top. Could he hoist us up?” Stacey asked.

  “He’s not set up for it. His forte is getting in and out quickly without being noticed. I don’t look forward to hiking back up the mountain carrying these bonds either, but I don’t think we have a choice. There’s not a lot of time to look for another pick-up spot. At least the pilot shouldn’t miss the signal from up there. Let’s go. I think I’ve got our stuff.”

  Stacey picked up one of the packs full of bonds then reached for another.

  “I’ll make two trips if I have to, Parker. Why don’t you go get some rest?” he suggested as he reached for several of the backpacks.

  “McConnell, I don’t need special treatment. I’m not some frail, simpering female who has to be cosseted and protected, whatever you and my father think. Even though I have an occasional female emotion, I can still pull my weight. When I can’t, I’ll let you know. I will help with these packs,” Stacey told him indignantly and picked up the second bond-filled pack.

  She began hiking back to where they left their gear. When are these men going to realize that I am capable? Didn’t I just prove how good I am at my job? And did I not just let myself be pulled up into that tree, in the dark, without a whimper? Stacey tripped over a stick and almost landed on her face.

  Realizing she was stomping along, not watching wher
e she put her feet, she slowed down and became more careful. “That would be great, Parker. For him to come along and find you lying there with a broken ankle. That would really prove how capable you are,” she muttered angrily. Now, the dratted man has me talking to myself.

  Cord shook his head and grinned as he heard her grumbling, while he grabbed up the other three packs. At least she didn’t try to take them all. He grew more surprised that Thompson and Brooks didn’t stash the bonds sooner the farther he carried them. They were dead weight and awkward. He caught up with Stacey just before she reached their backpacks.

  Quietly he followed as she walked on. Following this woman was getting to be a way of life, he thought with a grin. Definitely can’t complain about the view, though. Cord eyed her

  trim figure in the snug jeans.

  When she reached the spot where their stuff was piled, Stacey dropped the packs containing the bonds and sat down to catch her breath. They hiked quite a distance today and she was tired. Her legs still felt weak from her time in the tree.

  Cord dropped his load beside hers and bent over from the waist to stretch the kinks out of his back. “Well, Parker, do we camp here or look for another spot?” He wasn’t sure he could move very far. The day had taken its toll on him, too. After pulling her up and back down the tree, and carrying the bonds, his muscles were tight and threatening to cramp.

  “I don’t like the idea of being out in the open like this. As much as I hate to move, there was a niche in the slope a little way back up. I think we should move there and see if it will do,” she answered.

  “Okay, but I need to catch my breath first,” Cord groaned and sat down to rest.

  “Aha, McConnell, I’m wearing you down,” Stacey teased, but she could use an extra few minutes herself.

  “Let’s just hope I don’t have to lift you up any more trees tonight.” Cord reached for his canteen, swallowing several long drinks of water.

  “Cord?” she said into the stillness.

  “Yeah?”

  “When this is over—will you—could you stay for a few days, please?” Stacey knew she didn’t want him to disappear from her life again. She needed more time with him.

  “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Stacey. Not that I wouldn’t like to.”

  “Have you taken a vacation lately? Free room and board, hiking and fishing, horseback riding or just doing nothing if you prefer. Besides, mom already invited you.”

  “It does sound good, but what’s the point?” Cord pushed up, barely suppressing another groan, and moved away to stare at the sky. “We already know that what’s between us can’t go any further. I may have other calls waiting for me when I get back.”

  “I don’t know that!” Suddenly angry, Stacey argued, “All I know is you don’t seem to want to stick around long enough to find out. You might actually like a place or a person enough to stay if you would let yourself. But you know what I think McConnell? I think you’re afraid to find out.” She took a deep breath and waited for a response.

  When she didn’t get one, she went on in a quieter tone, “If you want to stay for a vacation, Cord, I won’t take it as a lifetime commitment. I’ll even stay away if you want me to. I thought you look tired and could use a break. I’d do the same for any of my friends. But forget it. Consider yourself uninvited.” Stacey stood up, hooked her canteen on her pack, and stuck her arms through the straps. “We’d better move so we can make camp and get some rest.”

  Picking up two of the other packs, she began the uphill trek. In the dark and with the extra weight it would be rough going, but she could use the exertion right now to work off her irritation.

  Cord quietly hefted his share of the packs and followed along. Using the narrow beams from their flashlights, they located the niche in the hillside just as she remembered. Gratefully, Cord tossed the black packs full of bonds into the very back of the slight recess in the slope. Sheltered by thick trees all around, Cord decided they would be out of sight unless someone tripped over them.

  Unpacking their bedrolls, Stacey placed their blankets so their heads would be propped against the bonds inside the space too small to actually qualify as a cave.

  Cord didn’t like the bedroll arrangements at all, considering the situation, and preferred to sleep on the other side of the ridge from Stacey. But it wouldn’t be safe out in the open for either of them with two million dollars worth of bearer bonds and all sorts of people searching for them. As for Stacey, she went from getting under his skin to being a prickly thorn in his side.

  God, I don’t know whether I rather spank her or kiss the lips right off her sassy mouth. Kissing definitely lingered on his mind longer. If I were a different type of man I would take what I could get and leave her to deal with it. How she reached twenty-five without some smooth-talking rascal doing just that is a mystery to me. Why on God’s earth is she so interested in a man thirteen years her senior?

  But he couldn’t dismiss the truth, he wanted Stacey Parker. And she’s right, I am afraid. If I let her, this woman would totally captivate me. She’s totally desirable, aggravating to the extreme, and makes me laugh more than I can ever remember.

  Stacey returned from a walk and without a word dug out what she needed to make coffee. She realized she said too much, especially when Cord got up quietly and walked away without meeting her eyes. But, darn it, he made her so angry. With a long sigh, she decided she would apologize for getting mad, but not for what she said. She wouldn’t apologize for being honest even if speaking her mind wasn’t the wisest choice.

  “Coffee smells good,” Cord said as he rejoined her a short time later. “I saw some campfires down in the valley, but nothing close to us,” he reported.

  “The water’s hot and I put out food for you. If you want something else help yourself to what’s in the pack,” Stacey offered stiltedly as she sipped from her cup then began to eat. She avoided him by gazing off into the distance.

  “Thanks. This should be enough,” Cord made his coffee, blew out the tiny flame then shifted wearily on his bedroll. He stretched out on top of his blankets when sitting caused him to knock dirt loose with the top of his head.

  When Stacey couldn’t stand the silence between them any longer she said, “I shouldn’t have got mad. I think I’ll turn in now. It’s been a long day.” She was careful to keep her voice even and she refused to cry in front of him again. She tugged off her boots, and rolled up in her blankets.

  Cord waited several minutes then felt he owed her an explanation, “I’m sorry, Stacey. I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want. You’re right, I am afraid and I do pull away from emotional ties. You turn me inside out, Stacey, and I can’t deal with it. I don’t think I know how and I’m too old to learn. I was dropped off at a police station by a drunken mother who didn’t want me around anymore when I was five years old. I remember how it felt to not be wanted. I can’t...” Cord paused and cleared his throat. “I’ve never been good at getting close to anyone. It’s not you, Stacey. Never think that.” When several minutes went by and she didn’t say anything, he added, “We have to start before dawn so I think I’ll go to sleep, too. Goodnight, Parker.”

  “Night, McConnell. Wake me if I oversleep,” Stacey mumbled. She knew if she turned over and looked at him, she would be in his arms, crying all over him for the scared, abandoned little boy who couldn’t face the fear of being left again. She forced her breathing into an even pattern and feigned sleep.

  In spite of being tired, Cord couldn’t sleep for listening to the soft even breathing of the woman beside him. Within arm’s reach, but still worlds away. In his mind he went over and over all the reasons why he couldn’t have her, but they didn’t change his body’s reaction to her nearness. Turning on his side away from her, Cord hoped it would help. It didn’t. He tried breaking down and reassembling his mental M-16 in the tiniest detail but that didn’t help either. Finally, he got up and walked.

  All during the night when it became unbea
rable to lie close to her, Cord walked rather than crawl into her blankets to make love to her. Near dawn, he dozed for a few minutes only to dream of her. He was never more thankful for time to get up and get going.

  Stacey woke to the smell of the cappuccino Cord waved back and forth under her nose. As she sat up to take the cup, he backed quickly away and she watched him leave camp. She keenly felt the new distance between them.

  Maybe it’s better this way. I need to concentrate on Marcus and not my love life—or lack of one. But I know he has the ability to love under all that hurt somewhere.

  She quickly downed her coffee, folded her blankets, and packed up.

  “Can we see well enough to start yet?” Cord asked as soon as he returned.

  “I guess we have to if we’re going to catch your pilot on his first run. I’m ready if you are,” Stacey told him and pulled the black backpacks out of hiding. After shouldering her own pack, she put each arm through the straps of another pack. Without waiting for him, she started up the slope following a narrow game trail.

  Cord put on his pack before lifting the three that remained. He followed her once again. Hopefully this would be the last trek they made together in the wilderness. He wasn’t sure he could last through another one. After the fact, telling her about his mother felt like a stupid thing to do. She was always getting him to blurt out things he never talked about.

  One more reason to stay away from her. I don’t want to be tied down or have a woman whining over me every time I have to go on a job. No way could I do this job if I’m worrying about a family at the same time. Cord winced as that one popped into his mind and refused to leave. I don’t ever want to have my heart ripped out when I watch someone I care about walk away and leave me again. He remembered standing on the front steps of the building and yelling, ‘Mommy I love you. I love you, come back,’ repeatedly until a policeman picked him up and carried him inside. He never said those words again and he never intended to.