Finding Forever (Found in Oblivion Book 7)

by Cari Quinn

  Elle stared down at the table. She couldn’t bear to look at any of her bandmates just then. Especially Jules.

  She was so much stronger than she could ever be.

  “I understand where you’re coming from,” Lila said to Ryan. “You’ve always tried to guide this band from the beginning, even if sometimes it was behind the scenes.”

  Ryan shrugged. “Old habit.”

  “It’s a good thing. You’re a stabilizing force. But I’m not talking about another opening act gig. I’m talking about co-headlining with Brooklyn Dawn.”

  Stunned silence reigned until she spoke again.

  “Donovan and I made it clear to them that if we were to sign you on to the Changing Faces tour, you’d have to get equal billing. Equal footing and everything that comes with it. They’re a very progressive band and love your work, so they were onboard right away.” Lila glanced at each of them in turn. “Now it’s up to all of you if you’re in or out.”

  “Wait, you’re asking us? Not demanding? For real?” Molly sat up straight. “I feel like I’m having the best dream ever right now.”

  “No kidding.” Luc frowned. “Why would you ask us if it’s such an amazing opportunity? What’s the downside?”

  “The downside is the time commitment is extensive. This is a huge tour, the scope of which is unlike anything any of you have experienced thus far. There will be many dates, often back to back. All over the US. Some arenas, but a lot of smaller venues too because Lindsey and Jamie like to reach all their fans, not just the ones who can afford a stadium show. That’s not even discussing the possible European leg.”

  Ryan drummed his fingers on the table. “Still not hearing a downside.”

  “The downside is some of us don’t have our loved ones traveling with us twenty-four/seven,” Molly said softly as she looked at Luc, who nodded in agreement. “Ethan teaches. He can’t live on a bus with us, even if we have enough room.”

  “And my son’s in school. My daughter will be soon too. Being on the road that much is going to be fucking difficult.” Michael pushed a hand through his hair.

  Jules swallowed hard. “Tristan has the restaurant.”

  “This is why I intended to give you all time to think about it.” Lila let her gaze drift around the table. “I want you to understand that this is not being forced upon you. Last year took a toll on all of us, Juliet most of all. Nothing is more important than family, and all of you are ours. Donovan and I are in complete agreement there. So if you as a group decide this opportunity isn’t for you, then we stand behind you.”

  “But then what? We go back to being an opening act again?” West shook his head. “We wanted this life. It’s a challenge, sure, but we can’t go backward. If not now, when? When the kids are in college and we’re too old to rock out anymore?”

  Michael hit him in the back of the head. “Think we have a little time there yet, asshat.”

  Lila set down her iPad and sighed. “Look, I’ll be frank. I was just overseas with Oblivion not too long ago. It took a toll. Traveling with little kids? Not for the faint of heart. Living the rockstar life on the road? Definitely not easy. But it’s worth it. Especially when the band is a family, as yours is. Not saying it’s all bunnies and rainbows all the time, but you’re a tight unit, as Oblivion is. Other bands aren’t so lucky.”

  Molly let out a long breath. “The new accommodations help. Ethan gets breaks, so he’ll be able to join us. It’s not a deal breaker for us. Sure, it’ll be hard, but not like if we had kids. That’s the real struggle. And Chloe is in school, isn’t she?”

  “Mostly online classes. And yes, absolutely the additional space makes a difference in our decision. We can try to figure stuff out with Axl’s teachers.” Michael jerked a shoulder. “I mean, I have to talk to my wife, but I’m pretty sure we can make it work.” He frowned. “What about you, Jules?”

  She was chewing on her thumbnail. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll leave the baby with Tris. He doesn’t have a schedule like Ethan’s where there are planned breaks. He’s go go go all the time. And after…what happened, I don’t want to leave him alone and take the baby. He’s better with him anyway.” She laughed, shaking her head. “Leave it to me to be the first mother in the history of the world whose baby prefers their father.”

  Lila smiled. “Not hardly. Charlie still prefers Nick and has since day one. Elle? What about you?”

  Elle looked up from her doodles on her pad. She’d kind of been toying with song lyrics, mixed in with a few Mickey Mouse drawings and a few attempts at writing her new name. Richelle Shawcross didn’t sound quite right to her ears yet. Richelle Crandall Shawcross was one hell of a mouthful, and made her sound like a society matron, not a rock guitarist.

  And pondering that or some random song or how to get Mickey’s ears right was easier to consider than if she wanted to embark on some giant tour across the States.

  Or worse, if Mal wanted to.

  If he didn’t, she had to stand with him. He was going to be her husband.

  Even if that meant she’d be at odds with the rest of her band.

  She’d only done one show with them since her injury. They hadn’t even been rehearsing since. Jules had been on maternity leave, so other than a few phone calls with Jules and Denver to talk about her engagement party—which was very soon, yikes—and seeing Michael and Chloe and the kids when they got together for family stuff, the band had been firmly shoved into the background.

  Talk about roaring back to the front.

  She’d known this day would come when they’d have to go on the road again and eventually, return to the studio. They’d released an EP last fall to big fanfare before everything had gone down. Thanks to the tons of press after the deadly concert, sales had gone up even more.

  But that was almost a year ago now. The world had moved on. Their EP was old news. They’d have to cut another one, after they went on this big ass tour to support an album that had understandably gotten lost in the shuffle.

  “Elle?” Lila frowned. “What do you think?”

  “It’s a lot to go from not playing much in nearly a year to…this,” Elle admitted. “I definitely don’t feel like I have my performance chops back. But I won’t get them back sitting home on the couch.” She toyed with her engagement ring. “I want to do it. I’m game. I’m scared I can’t hack it, but I’m game.”

  Jules pushed back her chair from the table and stretched toward Elle, leaning around Molly and Luc. “You can hack it.” She reached for Elle’s hand, and Elle took hers gratefully. “We’ll figure it out together.”

  Elle squeezed Jules’s hand. “Thank you.”

  “Nothing to thank me for. Chicks stick together.”

  Elle forced herself to smile though she couldn’t quite blink fast enough to stave off the tears. “I have to talk to Mal.” She hated risking damaging that moment of solidarity, but she didn’t want to be anything less than clear. “If he’s not willing to do this—”

  “Then the rest of us suffer?” Molly shook her head. “Figures. It’s Malachi’s world, and the rest of us just revolve around him.”

  “That’s not true.” Lila steepled her fingers together. “If there’s a lone holdout, there are other options if everyone else is in agreement. As long as the holdout isn’t one of Warning Sign’s lead singers. That changes things considerably.”

  “Options like what?” Elle asked, reluctantly drawing back from Jules with a sad smile. “We go without him?”

  Didn’t they understand she didn’t feel comfortable doing that either? Yes, he was an asshole sometimes, but he was her asshole. And she wasn’t about to start their life together by leaving him to hit the road.

  As much as she loved her career, loved being in this band, she loved Mal more. There had to be another way.

  “We can bring in a studio musician. It’s not ideal, and we don’t want to leave anyone behind. But if he makes the choice not to be involved…” Lila shrugged. “It’s his choice is all
I’m saying. He’s never been about the commitment that comes with having a successful rock band. I’d hoped marrying you might—”

  “What? Change him? Make him more malleable?” Elle shook her head. “Li, I love you, but maybe we better stop right here.”

  Thirteen

  For a moment, no one spoke. Or even seemed to breathe.

  Including Elle.

  Christ, what the hell was she doing? Supporting Mal was one thing, but shutting down Li like that? She was her sister-in-law who was as close as a sister, and their manager to boot.

  Mal was rubbing off on her in far more ways than she’d ever guessed.

  With a nod, Lila pushed back from the table. “As you wish. Take the next week or so to think it over. We’ll meet again Thursday after next, ten am sharp.” She swallowed deeply, her gaze locking on Elle. “Whatever happens, we support you,” she repeated.

  Elle didn’t stick around to say goodbye to everyone. For the first time ever, she was out the door even before Lila was.

  She’d driven to Ripper in Mal’s truck. As soon as she got behind the wheel, she texted him using voice-to-text. He didn’t answer.

  If he was still asleep, she was probably going to maim him.

  It was one thing to support him in a meeting with the band. She hadn’t been putting on a false front. She did support him. If he truly wanted to not go on this tour…well, they’d discuss things and somehow come to a rational decision. Because she did want to go. She didn’t want to start their life together apart, but if he made that choice, she had a choice to make too. Her band needed her. And she needed to get her legs back under her onstage. Not just for performance’s sake. For her own mental health. For her personal strength.

  She missed playing. The camaraderie with her bandmates during a show. All of it.

  Yet she’d told Lila the truth. She wasn’t looking to change Mal. As much as she wanted to go, God, how could she if he said no? The idea of being out there all those lonely nights without him…

  By the time she unlocked the door to his place and walked inside, she’d built up a good head of steam. Not even because he might not be on the same page as she was about the tour. But to not even show up at the meeting? What the hell was that about? He wasn’t the most polite dude under the best of circumstances, but blatant disrespect at that level also wasn’t his deal. Especially after what had occurred last fall.

  She stepped into the apartment, on the verge of bellowing his name, when he came out of the bedroom wrapped in just a towel and dripping water all over the damn place.

  “You’re back,” he said as if his body wasn’t a fucking masterpiece capable of rendering smart, savvy women mute.

  “I called you,” she croaked out. She might’ve sounded like a demented frog, but she managed to keep some of her annoyance despite the alligator-sized dick waving hello at her beneath his towel.

  Even after the better part of a year together, she was still in extreme love with his cock. So much so that she probably shouldn’t even look at him right now.

  Jesus, had he really had to take a shower right then? He’d showered yesterday. He was still clean.

  On the other hand, her thoughts were very, very dirty.

  “Yeah, well, as you can see, I was a little busy.”

  She crossed her arms and turned away. “I need to talk to you.”

  “Is there a reason you’re facing the wall?”

  “Yes. Because we can’t fuck until I yell at you thoroughly and you make it very difficult. So stay over there and keep that beast on a leash.”

  His footsteps creaking across the floor proved he had not listened to her. As usual. “I’m not just your sex toy, you know.” He gripped her shoulders and shifted her toward him, his eyebrow cocked. “It hurts that I’m just an object of desire to you.”

  “Not just that. You’re also an object of annoyance.” Proving it, she whacked him on the chest. “Why the hell didn’t you come with me this morning?”

  That single eyebrow climbed higher. “Would you rather talk or hit me?”

  Do not look beneath his neck. Hell, beneath his eyes. “Why didn’t you come to the meeting?” She bit her lip. “Do you want to quit the band?” And then because she was truly a little evil inside, she cocked her head. “Let me guess. You want to stay home and be a house husband? Take care of our babies?”

  “Babies? Say what? We ain’t got no babies.” A vein throbbed in his temple as he darted a glance at her stomach. “That twin thing isn’t kicking in? Dear God.”

  She had to laugh. “Your face was—” She doubled over, still laughing. “That was priceless.”

  “You’re a jerk.” He fisted his hand in her hair and dragged her up to a standing position, then tugged her up against his still damp chest. “I should plant some babies inside you and make you pay.”

  It was her turn to goggle.

  He grinned at her. “See? Don’t play games with me, Crandall. I’ll come back at you twice as hard.”

  She rubbed against him like an overstimulated kitten. “I’ll say.” With a long sigh, she moved back and propped her hands on her hips. “Seriously, we have to talk.”

  “So talk.”

  “Warning Sign has a big opportunity. Brooklyn Dawn’s about to embark on this massive tour across the States and they lost their opening act. Ripper dropped Rebel Rage. You know, Johnny Cage and company.”

  “Yeah, I know that dick. Royally entitled prick.”

  She sighed again. That was her Malachi, who always played well with everyone and never had a cross word to say. Except not.

  “Anyway, we’ve been offered a chance to go on the tour with them. Not to open for them. To co-headline. You know, massive stadiums and intimate clubs and everything in between. Our names up in lights all over. And we got a massive accommodations upgrade. Fancy new busses so that we don’t all have to wedge into—” She paused and frowned. “Why aren’t you interrupting me?”

  “Isn’t it my job to listen?”

  “Actually, that’s just one of your jobs. The first one is to make sure there’s no lapse in your pussy-eating skills.”

  “Pretty sure we’re covered there. If you call my name any more at night, the neighbors are gonna think we’re in church.”

  She had to smirk. “So you go by God now, huh?”

  “Only when you’re shouting it when I’m between your thighs. Damn sure not letting that dude get the credit.”

  “Funny.” She crossed her arms. “You already knew about all this.”

  He linked his hands behind his back and stared up at the ceiling. “Perhaps.”

  “Perhaps, my ass. How did you find out?”

  His lips twitched. “Such a delicate flower you are. If you must know, I talked to Li.”

  “When?”

  “Last night. She told me what she was going to bring up at the meeting, and I informed her I would not be attending due to a prior commitment.”

  “Hello, what about your wife?”

  “You aren’t my wife yet. Unless you’re finally ready to change that.”

  “We’re having our engagement party in a few days, aren’t we?” Oh God, she was going to throw up. “But close enough. Don’t you know protocol? You’re supposed to tell me any good intel you get before—wait a second, what commitment? Your ass was asleep when I got in the shower this morning.”

  “Not just my ass. The rest of me too. But I know you fixate so…

  “Malachi.”

  “Oh, I’m in trouble now, huh?” He motioned for her to follow him. “Come on,” he said when she didn’t move.

  “I’m not going up to the loft with you. Do I look stupid? I know what you have in mind.”

  “Always, but I don’t need to be in the loft to do it.” He ran his tongue along the inside of his lower lip and she had to press her thighs together. “Remember last week?”

  “No. Not even a little.”

  Oh Lord, she so did. Him lifting her up against the refrigerator door and
pounding into her so hard they’d cracked the eggs inside. Or else they’d been cracked before and they just hadn’t realized, but whatever, he’d fucked her like a damn maniac.

  “Come upstairs with me. I’ll keep my hands to myself.” He held them up, palms out. “I swear.”

  Hmm. He was definitely up to something, but she followed him just the same.

  He went directly to the closet and pulled open the mirrored double doors that had provided them with lots of home entertainment these past months. “Take a look.”

  She stepped forward and gasped. More than half the closet was empty. Not that Mal was a clotheshorse anyway—far from it—but he’d stuck lots of accumulated stuff in there. Childhood trophies, old car crap from his racing days, a pair of rarely used skis. Now it was all gone.

  “Nice job, but you skipped a band meeting to clean your closet? And Li was okay with that? Seems dubious.”

  “And this.” He moved to the dresser and opened up the top three drawers, which were now all empty. “Stuck my shit under there.” He pointed to the under bed drawers. “Left one of those open too.”

  “Um, great. Are you embarking on a new minimalist lifestyle or something? You didn’t have all that much to begin with, but you know, good for you. I still can’t imagine that Li would—” Then it dawned on her. “Holy shit, you did all this for me?”

  He rolled his eyes skyward. “Woman, you test me.”

  She sank on the bed. “I can’t believe you did all this. It must’ve taken you all morning.”

  “Pretty much. I got my ass up,” he smirked, “the second you were out the door. I knew I didn’t have time to spare.”

  “You told Li you were doing this,” she said slowly. “Making room for me, even though I have stuff here already.”

  “You have a toothbrush, a pair of bunny slippers, and a pair of boxers that say kiss my grits.”

  She snorted. Those boxers were her favorite. “I have more than that here.”

  “Oh, yeah, you also have one of those illegal push-up bra looking things that you shouldn’t even own.”