Finding Forever (Found in Oblivion Book 7)

by Cari Quinn

  Pressing her to the cool glass, he pounded into her while the water they’d said their vows beside glittered in the dark, vast and deep. As deep as her eyes on his while he gave her everything and took still more.

  She enveloped him, sweet and hot, her head dropping back against the glass. Her moans filled his head, drowning out even the manic beat of his heart. He sought the pulse hammering in her throat, kissing her there until she broke around him, flooding him with her release.

  “Mine,” she gasped, and he somehow managed to wheeze out a laugh even as his hips battered her into the window.

  It wasn’t a scream, but she’d done as he’d asked. In this case, he didn’t mind her staking her claim.

  Her contractions went on and on. They still weren’t enough to suit, but he couldn’t wait. It felt as if he’d been waiting forever for this woman.

  This moment.

  This life.

  Fire streaked up his spine and his balls clenched, forcing him to move faster. Deeper. Harder. He was greedy to feel every inch of her. Inside and out. To coax out every sound, watch every emotion flit over her fucking perfect face.

  Even being buried inside her wasn’t enough. He couldn’t possibly find the bottom of his need for her. That many days didn’t exist in a lifetime.

  He slid into her one last time as the dam gave way, panting the words into her mouth that seemed like a revelation.

  “My wife.”

  Slipping his hand into her tumbled hair, he carefully cupped the back of her head and rode out the last of it, desperate for her even still. And whispered again his now favorite words in the world.

  “My wife.”

  She reached up to frame his face in her hands, fusing their lips together. Between kisses, she gave him back the same.

  “My husband. Mine.” Her lips lifted, pulling his along even if he hadn’t wanted to smile.

  But he did. He wanted everything because of her.

  “I love you. So much.” She dropped her forehead to his, winding her arms around his neck.

  “Ricki.” He clutched her to him, waiting until her drowsy eyes flickered open one more time. “I love you too. So fucking much.”

  Her smile grew, and she took a shaky breath. Then her stomach growled loudly between them.

  He gave it a dubious look and she started to laugh.

  “Sorry. We ate a while ago. Room service?”

  When his legs worked again, he carried her to the bed and dumped her on the mattress, then grabbed the hotel phone. As soon as someone answered, he grinned at his wife. “Penthouse suite. Send up one of everything on the menu.”

  “Are you crazy?” Ricki gasped.

  “For you, yes.” He hung up and rolled on top of her, sinking back inside her with a silky thrust. “Now where were we?”

  Twenty-Four

  Jules parked at the rooftop access area to the hotel. It was still off hours for the restaurant. The Hollow was a major source of entertainment at the Ace Hotel—both food and music, but it wasn’t the only one. On the off hours, there were a few smaller eateries that could handle the clientele.

  One of Tristan’s requirements when he took on The Hollow was two distinct meal times. His staff specialized in brunch and award winning dinners which gave her a two hour window to talk to him.

  Nerves jangled inside of her. He’d told her he wanted to go on tour with her, but could she really trust him?

  It was selfish to imagine him wanting to live on a bus. Especially when he had all this at his fingertips. Each time she’d tried to talk to him about it, he cut her off and changed the subject. It was down to this—leaving the band, or leaving her family behind. And yes, she knew plenty of people in her industry had to do it. Michael had two babies who couldn’t be with him all the time.

  But not on this tour. Ripper Records was actually giving them the benefit of the doubt even after all they’d been through in the past year. They were making allowances for families and space.

  But she couldn’t ask Tris to give everything up for her if she didn’t know he was really okay with it. She’d already had to give up half of her heart. She couldn’t do without the other. Especially since it was mending with the sweet and unapologetic love from her baby. She wasn’t going to miss out on all the milestones.

  Making sure they could make this work was everything.

  She locked up her SUV and used Tristan’s employee pass to sneak into the side entrance of the hotel directly off the restaurant. It was his backup pass—the one he kept in a little cubby by the door with their keys and mail. Not exactly for her, but it wasn’t like she’d been explicitly told not to use it.

  “No. You’re at the helm now, Kendra. It’s not my meal plan. For the next few weeks, it’s all yours. I’m just here to supervise.”

  “But…”

  “You’re more than ready for this. You’re so ready, you’re a melting Baked Alaska. Now let’s see the real meal plan you have in your phone and stop this bullshit.”

  Jules stopped in the hallway at their voices.

  Oh, girl don’t.

  Eavesdropping was a bad idea in every possible way, but she couldn’t seem to make herself move. She and Tristan were forever tip-toeing around each other. Afraid to hurt the other one, ask too much, or take a slice of something for themselves.

  It was unnerving to be so…good.

  You are free not to be good anymore, girl.

  She shut her eyes. Officially from the doctor’s mouth to be exact. She hadn’t been in bad shape like some women after a baby. The dozens of books she’d obsessively read had left her nauseous with their details on such things. As far as she was concerned, C-section was most definitely for the win. Most of her issue had been because of her sutures, not anything going on down in girl town.

  But now?

  Now she was officially off the bench.

  Watching all the love going on around her at Mal and Elle’s wedding and between all the couples had definitely added to the go-time center in her brain. That one night before she’d gone into labor—she knew all that passion was still there. That brain-melting lust was alive and well.

  Their problem was getting through the emotional bumpers they’d built between them for damn near everything. The only place they’d been truly linked was the baby.

  She needed him.

  Needed to show Tristan that she was all the way in when it came to them as a couple too. Especially after seeing the bond between Elle and Mal. It had blazed during the entire ceremony. There hadn’t been a doubt in anyone’s mind.

  The fact she couldn’t say the same about her and Tris made her physically sick. Once upon a time it hadn’t even been a question in her mind.

  Or Tristan’s.

  Knowing he’d been left wondering every day since Randy’s death wounded her in ways she didn’t think was possible. Honestly, how could anything hurt as much as losing Randy?

  Well, that answer was fucking simple.

  Losing Tristan too.

  Kendra and Tristan’s voices broke into her too thinky brain.

  “I was thinking maybe we could order in the salmon from Joe.”

  “No.”

  “Oh.” Kendra’s voice was soft and uncertain. “Okay, well—”

  “I mean no, say it decisively. You are going to be running this kitchen. I need your chef voice on or people are going to run over you. I’ve seen you dress down three of our new prep cooks. I know you have it in you. Now show it to me.”

  Kendra’s voice strengthened. “We’re doing the salmon dish I’ve been perfecting.”

  “Better. Now, how much do you think we need?”

  Jules tuned out the particulars. But that commanding voice from Tris? There was no tuning that out. She swallowed down a shaky breath. For God’s sake her nipples were way on board with that voice.

  She missed that voice.

  Endless nights where he told her what he wanted, and how he wanted it to happen. In detail. There had been no hesitation w
hen he put on that dominant voice when he spoke to her and Randy through the video chats. And there was no denying how she reacted to him even if sometimes Randy had been the conduit between.

  “See, that’s the Kendra I know. You are ready to take this place to a whole new level.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “It’s time. Hell, I’ve been trying to push you out of here for years. You were born to run a kitchen. I just didn’t know it was me who needed the push out of the nest.”

  “The Hollow is only what it is because of you.” Kendra’s earnest voice made Juliet’s throat tighten.

  “Nope. I’d say eighty percent of it is you. After Randy…” He cleared his throat. “After Randy I would have ended up arrested if you hadn’t intervened.”

  Juliet’s breath stalled. What?

  “Jonas was out of line.”

  Jules frowned. Jonas was one of Tristan’s best employees and dearest friends. He’d been over to their place for dinner dozens of times.

  “He wasn’t.” Tristan’s voice was resigned and unwavering. “He was just a handy punching bag when I was so messed up. Sure it was a rookie mistake when he fucked up that entrée, but if I wasn’t making everyone mental with my behavior, it probably wouldn’t have happened.”

  “You’re being too hard on yourself. We all know how much you were hurting.”

  “Yeah, well it’s no excuse.”

  “Chef, you lost your best friend and your partner at the same time. Anyone would have been a hot mess. The fact that you were back here working like it never happened was bound to backfire.”

  “The only thing I had was work.”

  Jules hugged herself. Did he really believe that? That he couldn’t lean on her at all?

  She barely had to ask herself that question. Of course he didn’t. She’d shut him out for months. The baby had saved their relationship from her selfish grieving. To this day he was the baby soother in all ways—before Joshua had been born and since.

  “I need to be with Jules. Hell, I’m actually psyched to go with her on the road. My head is busting with ideas for things to create while I’m in that crazy bus her manager has cooked up. It actually has a full kitchen for me. Lila sent me over the schematics. It’s insane.”

  “And all those glorious farmer’s markets across the country. I’m jealous as hell.”

  “I’ll be living in a freaking two million dollar food truck.”

  Kendra laughed. “Wait, are you serious?”

  “Yeah that bus is no joke. It’s like an RV had a baby with one of those double decker busses from England. I can’t wait to get out there.”

  Jules swallowed. She stepped through the doorway. “Really?”

  “Jules?” Tristan rushed around the long stainless steel table. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?” He slid his arm around her waist.

  “Everything’s fine. I was…” She nodded to the hallway and winced. “I was listening.”

  He cupped her face. “Is that right?” He shot a grin over his shoulder at Kendra. “Sneaky.”

  Jules hoped her face wasn’t nearly as red as it felt. “Hi, Kendra.”

  “Hey. It’s good to see you.” Tristan’s second in command glanced between them. “I’m going to go check on that order we have coming in.”

  “Thanks.” Tristan smoothed his hand over Juliet’s hair.

  When Kendra left the room she tipped her head up. “Did you mean that?”

  “Which part, sneaky girl?” Tristan smiled down at her.

  She pressed her lips together. There was a lot to unpack in what she’d overheard. “Do you really think you can’t lean on me?”

  “Ah, babe.”

  “Don’t babe me. Do you really think you can’t lean on me?”

  He looked at his feet. “Don’t make me answer that, okay?”

  The stripes on his chef jacket wavered as she blinked away tears. Nope. She wasn’t going to sit here and cry. He didn’t deserve more tears out of her. Or that she couldn’t handle something so basic as taking care of her man.

  Her man.

  It was high time she treated him like it. She was so stupid. Tristan had been the most understanding guy on the planet and she was taking advantage of him in so many ways.

  She went up on her toes and closed her mouth over his.

  He swayed in front of her then yanked her closer. His grip was sure and mouthwateringly aggressive. Like the man she remembered. The man who had pushed so many of her boundaries.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him from belly to chest. He moaned into her mouth and turned her against a rack. The shelf nailed her in the ribs, but she didn’t break contact. A little pain was just what she needed to get her head in the game.

  Not the emotional pain she’d been slogging through for nearly a year.

  No, she needed this. Tristan and his hard, passionate kisses.

  The kind he used to give her the moment she walked in the door after a stretch of tour dates. She pushed her fingers under his chef’s hat and into his overgrown hair. It had been all baby, all the time for the last few months. Add in work and things like salon appointments had been way at the bottom of their list.

  His hair was thick and grippable.

  He groaned into her mouth, his tongue swiping in delicately at first and then forcefully as she gave him complete access.

  “Yo, T, I—oh, shit. Sorry.”

  Tristan pulled away from her. His pupils were blown wide with desire, his voice husky. “They have to get prepping for the dinner rush.”

  “Right. I’m sorry. I’ll just—”

  He firmed his grip. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

  She brought her fingers to her tingling lips, covering her grin.

  Tristan turned to the guy who interrupted them. “We’ll be in the dining room. If you need anything Kendra’s out back. She’s in charge.”

  “Right. Got it.” The tall, lanky kid bobbed his head and escaped down the hall.

  Tristan bent to pick up his hat, then laced his fingers with hers and led her through the kitchen to the secondary party room at the back of the restaurant. “Jules, I don’t want—”

  She didn’t let him talk. If he talked then she was going to cry and they’d get into this big emotional talk-a-thon. All they’d been doing was talking and hesitating. She didn’t want him to wonder for a single moment if she wanted him or needed him. Or that she could be counted on.

  He caged her into the closed double doors. As he held her tight with his thighs, he slapped the slatted blinds closed in the windows of the doors. “Did you come here for a reason, babe?”

  “I wanted to discuss…things.”

  He brushed his nose along hers, his breath hot on her lips. “Things?”

  “Yes. Things.”

  “Important things?” His tongue flicked along her lower lip.

  She huffed out a groan. “They seemed important at the time. Now?” She tucked her hand into the stretchy material of his pants.

  He groaned and tipped his forehead against hers. “What are you doing?”

  “If you have to ask, then I have been woefully remiss in my duties.”

  “It’s not a duty.” He closed his eyes. “Please don’t tell me it’s a duty.”

  She curled her fingers around his shaft and his eyes popped wide “It’s never been a duty, Tris. It’s always been a pleasure. Always been beyond a pleasure. Sometimes even more than what I can handle.”

  “Never. I don’t want that.”

  “I do.”

  He frowned down at her.

  “The overwhelming part is supposed to be us too. Not overwhelming because we’re sad. But this.” She tightened her fingers around him until he groaned. Because she knew his body and what he liked. Knew what to lick, bite, and suck. She knew what he needed. So much of it overlapped with Randy because they’d made sure that the physical side of their relationship was never in question.

  But now it w
as near emotional warfare. Withholding this closeness wasn’t fair to either one of them.

  “I miss this. I miss us, Tris. So much. I’m tired of hurting you.”

  “Only way you could hurt me right now is if you stop.”

  She grinned up at him, then stroked him firmly. The way she knew he loved. She’d always been strong and tireless. Learning dozens of instruments was like training her for the very best way of handling her man.

  A little bubble of unease dissolved in her chest.

  Her man.

  It was okay that it was just this man now.

  It was their reality.

  She pushed him back a step and he dropped his hands. “Jules?”

  She stroked him harder and eased him around so his back was to the door. “I need you to do me a favor.”

  “Anything.”

  “Lock the door, chef. We need to take a meeting.”

  He fumbled behind his back and the snick of the lock made her smile. She crouched down in front of him, peeling his pants down as she went. His striped chef jacket was in her way. Luckily she was quite adept at those particular buttons.

  It had been awhile since she’d done this, but the muscle memory was there and as strong as a heartbeat.

  He traced the back of his knuckles along her cheek. “I…”

  She shook her head and lifted his cock to lick her way up the underside. The familiar flavor of him made her bolder. “I want this. I need this.”

  He nodded and fisted his hands at his sides.

  She took one and slid it into her hair. Suddenly very glad she’d taken the time to do her hair. The mom messy bun was her usual fare these days. Not today. He wound it around his hand and tugged.

  Her head fell back with a groan.

  This was exactly what they both needed.

  She took him deep right down her throat. He hissed out a breath and slowly fed himself in and out of her mouth. She loved this. Was so used to sharing every way possible to find pleasure between a man and a woman.

  But it was the wild look in his blue eyes that hit all the lonely, untouched places inside of her. He could take her into herself and wring her out until there was nothing but pleasure and shared need.