No More Horrible Dates

by Kate O'Keeffe

  “Well, I wanted to get a pink gorilla costume, but the store was out.”

  “Pity.”

  “Not really,” I say. “And anyway, someone once told me they thought it would be romantic to get a bunch of flowers in front of all their teammates. I had the feeling he was being sarcastic, but I figured I’d give it a shot in case he wasn’t.”

  Nick’s head swivels from side to side. “Well, you’ve got everyone’s attention.”

  I allow myself a small smile. “I try to do things properly, you know.” I hold the stuffed toy out for him and wiggle it. “I even got you this.”

  He takes the toy from me. “A giraffe dressed as a sailor, holding a love heart. You’ve outdone yourself on the cheese-factor, Ernie.” His own smile begins to grow, his warm brown eyes trained on me. “Another thing I love about you.”

  My smile grows into a grin as my nerves evaporate. Happiness bubbles up inside me. “You love me,” I state, like I’m some sort of parrot.

  He reaches for my hand. “I do.”

  “Well, that’s good, because you know what?”

  “What?”

  “I love you, too.”

  In one fluid movement, he drops the giraffe, circles his arms around my waist, lifts me off the ground, and plants the most wonderfully tender kiss on my lips. I kiss him back, breathing in his (admittedly slightly sweaty) scent. Nick’s teammates around us cheer and whistle, but all I care about is the man in my arms.

  Nick tilts his head up. “Okay, guys. Show’s over.”

  I try to stop my head from spinning as he places my feet back on the ground.

  He wraps his arm around my shoulder, and together we walk away from the team to a quiet spot by the stands. “I need to tell you the truth.”

  “About the blackmailing?”

  He nods. “It was over my sister, Talia. You see, she dated the guy who’d been blackmailing me. He’s a journalist.”

  “Stephen Jones.”

  A cloud passes over his face. “Yup. Total a-hole.”

  “What was he using to blackmail you with?”

  “When Talia was depressed over the death of her best friend a year or so ago, she began shoplifting. I didn’t know about it at the time. Stephen did, and he had proof. A video clip of her shoplifting some clothes at a fashion store at a mall. When she left him, he was angry. He threatened not only to take the footage to the police, but to go public with it if I didn’t give him a better story. I guess he liked the idea of humiliating his ex’s brother, knowing it would hurt Talia, too.”

  My heart swells with the thought he would put his career and his reputation on the line like that for Talia. “You were protecting your sister.”

  “I had no choice. She didn’t want me to do it. That day I came to the conference room and you asked me what was wrong, Stephen had paid me a visit. He told me to give him a story within the next week or he’d follow through on his threat.”

  “What’s stopping him following through now?”

  “Talia went to the police.”

  I widen my eyes. “She did?”

  He nods. “She knew how much I was hurting over you, and she didn’t want to be the one to stand in our way. She’s a good person.”

  I beam at him. “She sounds it.”

  He takes my hands in his. “I want you to meet her. I want you to meet my whole family.”

  “I’d like that”

  He leans down and kisses me on the mouth. It’s tender and loving and promises so much more to come. “I’m so glad you came back to me, Ernie.”

  I grin up at him. “Well, you’ve well and truly got me, Nick Zachary.” I reach up and pull him into me once more, and when our lips touch, I know he’s the one for me and that my heart is completely full.

  Epilogue

  Ding, ding, ding.

  The sharp sound cuts through the chatter, and I look up from my spot at the large table Sophie set up for us all at Cozy Cottage High Tea to see Darcy up on her feet, a glass of champagne (the real stuff, not our usual cheap and cheerful tipple) in one hand and a fork in the other. Sophie is at her side, and they wait for the assembled table of my friends and family to stop their chatter and turn their attention to them.

  “We didn’t think an occasion like Erin’s first ever showing of her designs at Auckland Fashion Week could go by without a speech,” Darcy begins, a big grin on her pretty face.

  “And who better to give it than her two BFFs, who have enough dirt on her from high school to keep the gossip mill churning about the country’s newest and hottest designer,” Sophie adds.

  “There’s no dirt,” I protest with a laugh, despite the fact Darcy and Sophie have known me since I was a hormonal fourteen-year-old with that extremely attractive combination of zits and braces, so there probably is some dirt. I tilt my head toward Nick, my boyfriend of over eight months now—despite the fact I’m not counting because I’m very relaxed about the whole thing, as you can imagine. I just so happen to know it’s been eight months, one week, two days, and about six and a half hours since that magical day I went to find him at the team practice. See? Not counting in the least.

  “I was an angel back then,” I say to him.

  His handsome face creases into a smile. He slips his arm around my shoulder and gives me a quick squeeze, as he whispers in my ear, “I love you no matter how much dirt they’ve got on you.”

  I beam at him, my big love for him spreading right through me, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. “Ditto.”

  “Oh, there’s some dirt,” Sophie replies, her eyebrows raised, “although this is not the time or the place.”

  “No way. Today is all about our fabulous friend, Erin, the powerhouse behind Erin Andrews Design,” Darcy says.

  “Which is the hottest new label on the New Zealand fashion scene,” Sophie says. “Erin, you’re so hot right now,” she adds in an American accent, quoting one of our all-time favorite movies, Zoolander.

  I laugh. “Blue steel.”

  “Totally,” Sophie replies.

  “What’s blue steel?” Talia, Nick’s sister asks from across the table.

  “That’s what I was going to ask,” Granny says. “Steel is steel color, not blue.”

  “You’re right,” Gab confirms. “These young people are confused about some basic things, which comes as a surprise with all their highfalutin technology thingies like cameras on phones and whatnot. The color of steel is steel”

  “Unless it’s a new type of steel,” Granny suggests. “Is it a new type of steel, Ernie?”

  I shake my head, smiling at them both. “It’s just a silly thing from a fun movie, that’s all. Talia, you can come over to Darcy’s and my place this weekend. We’ve got a movie for you to watch.”

  “The reeducation of my sister continues, huh?” Nick asks.

  “There are certain movies every girl should watch, that’s all. Right, Soph?” I say.

  “Oh yeah. If you don’t, you’ve got to hand your Woman Card in,” she replies and there’s a ripple of laughter around the table.

  “Woman Card?” Gab’s face is creased in confusion and shock. “I’ve never had to have a Woman Card.”

  “Just a saying, Gab. Nothing more,” I say hurriedly before things get out of hand as they so often do with these too, love them as I do.

  Talia shakes her head, her long, black ponytail swooshing across her bare shoulder blades. Although, like Sophie and Darcy, she’s not a non-tall like me, I made cute, strappy dresses for all three of them for tonight, and they look amazing, if I don’t say so myself. “No matter how many rom coms you girls show me, I’m still a psychological thriller girl at heart.”

  I waggle my eyebrows across the table to her. “That sounds like a challenge to me.”

  After Talia confessed all to the police to stop that horrid journalist from having something over, she was sentenced to community service which she quickly did, and she’s been doing so much better. She told me she could never repay Nick
for what he did for her, but that she knew he’d had to give up so much to protect her, the biggest one being me. She and I have become close, and she’s even begun to work for me in my new business running Erin Andrews Designs.

  That’s right, I am no longer a Sponsorship Account Manager at Hawks. My initial designs have been selling like crazy at Chez Phillippe, so much so I’ve had to give up my job simply to keep up with demand. Despite it all, I was sad to leave, and Margie and Ed came to the showing of my designs today to support me, which was super sweet.

  “Can we get on with this toast now, please?” Darcy asks, although we all know it’s completely rhetorical as she lifts her glass of champagne. “Could all please raise your glasses and toast fabulous Erin and her big success.”

  My friends and family do as asked, and repeat in unison, “To fabulous Erin and her big success.”

  I grin, my face flushed. “Thanks, everyone.”

  “Speech! Speech!” Jason says, and his call is echoed by others, including Tim, who surprised me by not only coming to my fashion show today, but by telling me how proud he was of his big sister. Will wonders ever cease?

  I beam out at all of them, my heart completely full. I push my chair out and stand up. “I took a leaf out of Darcy’s book and came prepared,” I say as I pull my speech notes from my purse. I unfold them and begin to read. “First of all, thank you to each and every one of you for being here today. I know everyone says that, but looking around the table at you all here at Cozy Cottage High Tea, one of my all-time favorite places, I can’t imagine anything better o more meaningful to me. Many of you have been a part of my journey to get where I am today. I’m going to start at the beginning.” I take a moment to steel myself for what’s to come. “Mom,” my voice cracks as I say her name. I look down the table at her, sitting between Dad and Tim. The fact she’s here and is having one of her good days, is nothing short of a miracle to me, and although she would never have coped with the overwhelming sights and sounds of the fashion show, having her here at High Tea means the world to me.

  My throat tightens as tears prick my eyes. “You are my inspiration and my heart. You gave me my passion for clothes and design, and without you, I would not be standing here today.” I grip my notes in my hands, as I blink away my tears.

  “Ernie,” she says, her eyes trained on me. I blink at her in surprise as emotion boils to the surface.

  “I love you, Mom,” I say to her as my tears make tracks down my cheeks. “I’ve always wanted to make you and Dad proud of me, and I hope I achieved that today.” I look at the man at her side. “Dad, you are amazing and one day, I want to design men’s clothes to bring your style into the Twenty-first Century.” I eye his 90’s baggy shirt and tie combo I’m certain he’s had for over twenty years. “No offence,” I add.

  There’s a fresh ripple of laughter at the table, and Dad shakes his head at me in good humor. “I could try one of your dresses, although they might be a little tight on me.”

  “I’ll hold you to that, Dad.”

  “We’re so proud of you, sweetheart,” he says and turns to Mom. “Both of us.”

  “I know.” I wipe the tears from my cheeks and take a deep breath. If the speech at my first fashion show is this hard, how would I be if I ever got married? Not that Nick and I are engaged, or anything. Well, not yet, anyway. Suffice to say things are going well, and I’ve never been this happy with a guy.

  “Darcy and Sophie. You are the best friends a girl could ever have, and you’ve been there for me through it all. From first kisses to our first slice of cake at Cozy Cottage Café, from wedge sneakers to 80’s-inspired bustier tops. I love you both and I’m so lucky to have you as my BFFs.”

  “We love you!” Darcy and Sophie call out in unison.

  “Gab and Granny, having you live at the bottom of the garden all these years has meant you’ve been in my life in such a huge way, and I know I’m richer for it.”

  “She’s rich now?” Gab asks Granny.

  “I think she is. Well done, Ernie love,” Granny says. “If you’re going to be anything, then you’d may as well be rich. Well, after you’re a good person, of course.”

  “And kind,” Gab ads.

  “Oh, yes. And kind, as well as loyal.”

  Gab’s face lights up. “Oooh, and a thing. You’ve got to be a thing. What do you call it?”

  “There you go again, Grace, always with the ‘thing’ this and the ‘thing’ that,” Granny complains.

  “Sometimes I can’t think of the words. It’s perfectly normal,” Gab sniffs. “I knew what I meant. Ernie’s a romantic.”

  “She sure is,” Nick says, gazing up at me, and as my eyes lock with his, a sense of profound contentedness and happiness spreads through me.

  I don’t break our gaze. “I’ve got one more person to thank, and that’s you, Nick. You helped me give my fashion aspirations the push they needed. You’ve always believed in me, and I got to be the less pretty half of ‘Nerick,’ to boot.”

  “The less pretty? I’ve gotta say, you’ve definitely got that backwards, Ernie,” he says as he stands and gives me a kiss on the lips.

  I grin at him. “Whichever way you look at it, I’m a lucky girl.”

  “I’m not going to argue with that,” he replies.

  We gaze at one another for a beat before I turn back to the table and say, “Thanks, everyone. Let’s eat some of this amazing high tea and drink champagne!”

  “Here-here!” Dad says.

  Nick gives me another kiss. “Hey, I’ve got to go do something, Ernie. I’ll be right back, ’kay?”

  “Don’t be long. I cannot promise I won’t eat all the cake.”

  “All the cake?”

  “Being around all those super skinny models tonight has given me a big appetite.”

  He chuckles. “Good for you.”

  As Nick disappears out of the room, I sit back down at the table and serve myself up a plateful of delicious food.

  “I tell you, my street cred has gone through the roof this year, thanks to you,” Tim says.

  “I had no idea my fashion label would help you,” I reply with a laugh.

  “Not the clothes. You’re dating a freaking All Black,” he replies. “It doesn’t get much bigger than that in this country.

  I beam at him, thinking how incredible these past few months have been for Nick, too. Bennett Motors may have dropped him, but with his on-field successes for the Hawks, not only did he get back into the country’s famous national rugby team, the All Blacks, but the high-profile skincare company, Man, asked him to be their spokesperson. He’s been gracing billboards and advertisements ever since. With his shirt off, naturally. No one can deny the guy gives good abs.

  I smile at Tim. “Whatever works, little brother.” I collect a mini chocolate éclair from my plate and have just popped it in my mouth when the front door opens with a bang, and we all turn in surprise to see a pink, fluffy gorilla waltz into High Tea.

  “Where’s Erin Andrews?” Nick asks, because although I had no idea he was going to don that costume again this today, I know it’s him.

  I raise my hand in the air and play along. “Right here, Gorilla.”

  The opening bars of Waterloo begin to play, and I’m suddenly back at the time when Nick did this in my old office at the Hawks, the day I knew the things I felt for him were real. The day I began to wonder whether he felt something for me, too.

  He offers me his hand, and I get straight up. There’s no need for anyone to coax me this time. Gorilla-Nick and I dance, pulling all sorts of ridiculous moves as he spins me and dips me around the room. Before long, both Sophie and Jason and Darcy and Alex get up to dance, the three members of the No More Bad Dates pact and the loves of their lives. Then, everyone is on their feet, even Gab and Granny, dancing and having a good time.

  When the song begins to draw to its close, it morphs straight into I’ve Been Waiting for You, one of ABBA’s sweeter love ballads.

  Nick
drags his face mask off and pulls me into him, circling his fluffy arms around me.

  “You got a banana for me again, Gorilla?” I ask with a suggestive waggle of my eyebrows.

  He shakes his head, his eyes on mine. “No banana. I’ve got something else for you, though.”

  I raise my eyebrows. “What else do gorillas like? Apples? Grapes? Avocadoes? I really have no clue.”

  “Want me to show you?”

  “Sure.”

  He pulls off his fluffy pink gloves, reaches into his pocket, and pulls something out.

  “What is it?”

  Instead of replying, he takes a step back from me and gets down on one knee.

  My heart begins to pound in my chest. “What are you doing?” I ask, my voice coming out in a breathless whisper.

  He flips a little black box open.

  My hand flies to my mouth, my eyes widening as my mind scrambles to catch up with what seems to be happening. I take the look of seriousness on Nick’s face—and the large, sparkling baguette-cut diamond nestled in velvet, too.

  “Ernie,” he begins, his eyes intense, “I love you from the bottom of my heart: gorilla, and human.”

  I’m vaguely aware of people around us as I gaze at him. Could this really be happening? I press my lips together as joy rushes through me. “I love you, too, Nick.”

  The serious expression on his face morphs into a beaming smile. “That’s good to hear, because that’s kind of a prerequisite for what I’m about to ask you.” He pauses for a moment and then says, “Erin Andrews, will you marry me?”

  I throw my arms around his neck and pepper his face with kisses. It looks like it’s stamped in red lipstick. “Yes! Yes! Of course I will marry you!”

  Everyone around us bursts into applause, and as he stands, he lifts me up and holds me in his arms, tenderly kissing me on the lips. The kiss is full of love and the promise of things to come, a lifetime to be led, with Nick at my side.

  “You have made me so happy, Ernie. I never want this to end.”

  “Me neither.”

  “Give me your hand.”