Allegiant

by Sara Mack

  “Not this time.” Garrett shakes his head solemnly. “Meg was Touched.”

  My stomach starts to knot in an uncomfortable way. I have no idea what that means, but judging from James’ dazed expression, I know it can’t be good. His eyes gloss over, and he looks as if the breath has been knocked from his lungs. After a moment his eyes dart to mine, and he moves to stand in front of me protectively, crossing his arms. He’s all business as his eyes lock on Garrett. “Tell me what we have to do.”

  “Wait.” I jump off the couch. “What does that mean? She was Touched?”

  James turns his face toward me. “The Allegiant can render you immobile and force you to speak the truth.”

  I start to nod in understanding, but then stop as I process what that means. I give James a wary look. Meg knows about Garrett, obviously, but she also knows about James. She knows about us, about his inability to let go. My voice sounds small. “Do you think –?”

  James assumes my question and interrupts. “Absolutely.” He sets his mouth in a grim line.

  “We need to get moving,” Garrett redirects our attention. He looks anxious as he addresses me. “You have a suitcase, right? Or a bag?”

  My mind scrambles. He wants me to pack? For where? My eyes catch the paper on the coffee table that holds Dr. Randall’s email address, and this afternoon floods my memory. I remember how confident and happy I felt about my plans. I was going home. “No,” I say to myself and then raise my head adamantly. “No. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Emma.” Garrett gives me an exasperated look.

  I eye both him and James. “In case you haven’t noticed, I have a life to live. I have obligations. I can’t just pick up and leave! What about school? What about my parents?”

  Garrett reaches for my elbow. “We’ll work on that while we drive.”

  I yank my arm away. “Drive where exactly?”

  Garrett’s eyes flash to James. “We need to work that out.”

  I laugh sarcastically. “So, there’s no plan? We leave and drive aimlessly? I kick you out of the car in one town and then hole up in another? Alone?” I shake my head. “I don’t think so.”

  James wraps his cool hand around my arm in a reassuring way. “You don’t have a choice.”

  I shoot him a scathing look then stalk away from him, pulling my arm through his grasp. I set my hands on my hips and face them. “I always have a choice.”

  Both of them regard me with a mixture of frustration and concern. I know The Allegiant finding out is bad news, but there has to be another way to work through this. Running and hiding sounds cowardly and childish.

  “Em,” James says, pleading. “You don’t understand.”

  “You’re right,” I scowl. “If The Allegiant show up, what can they do? If you two leave, I won’t know where you are. I’ll have nothing to tell them.”

  “You’re wrong,” Garrett says. “You’ll have your thoughts and memories to share.” He walks toward me. “Do you want James taken from you? Your past together erased?”

  My face twists as James picks up on Garrett’s pause. “They’ll hurt you, Em.” He looks nauseous. “They’ll put you in danger, so that I’ll have no choice but to come to you. They’ll use our bond against us.”

  His tortured expression puts a dent in my defenses. I have to admit that being in pain is not something I enjoy, nor do I want him gone from my life. My eyes lock on James. “I would never want that.”

  He approaches me slowly. “I know. We’ll work things out, I promise. Your classes, your parents…” He stops in front of me. “But I have to keep you safe. It’s my only priority.”

  Internally, I struggle trying to strategize. I know the connection James has to me is a problem, but it’s not his fault. None of this is our fault. Forget Garrett and his quest to be human. “What if we stayed?” I ask.

  He frowns. “What do you mean?”

  “Wait for The Allegiant with me; we can explain that we’re pawns.” My eyes flit accusingly at Garrett. “You didn’t ask to be my Guardian.”

  James searches my face as he considers my proposition. From what I know, our situation is unique. The Allegiant may be open to an honest discussion; they may have mercy on us. In my book, Garrett is the real offender.

  “Emma,” Garrett interrupts, appearing by my side. “That won’t work.”

  “Why not?”

  “The Allegiant are not forgiving,” he says and eyes James. “They won’t accept explanations, especially now.”

  I’m not letting this go. I want to stay in familiar surroundings with James in my life; I want to follow through on my plans for graduation. I know I just came up with them today, but it hurts my heart to think otherwise. “How do you know?” I point at Garrett’s chest. “How do you know they’ll refuse to listen?”

  He crosses his arms impatiently. “Because I do.”

  His arrogance bothers me, and I narrow my eyes. “You need a better explanation.” I defiantly look at James. “If he doesn’t have a better answer, I’m staying. I mean it.”

  James assesses me for a moment then turns to Garrett. “She’s not kidding. We’ll have to make her leave.”

  I step away from them. “You wouldn’t dare!”

  Out of nowhere, an unfamiliar phone rings. I look at the two of them in confusion as Garrett reaches into his back pocket and reluctantly produces a cell phone. He walks away to take the call, and James and I look at each other, puzzled. Since when does Garrett have a phone?

  It’s a short conversation. After his initial greeting of “Yes?” the only other word James and I hear him utter is “no” before hanging up. He stands with his back to us, head down, revealing nothing. James and I give each other a wary look, and I wrap my arms around my waist.

  It seems like minutes before Garrett turns around, but I’m sure only silent seconds have passed. He regards us with a sober expression as his face registers our questions. He slides the phone back into his pocket. “That was Lucas.”

  “Lucas who?” James asks.

  “Lucas was my Guardian,” he says and closes the distance between us. “And he’s now one of The Allegiant.”

  My jaw hits the floor. I look at James, and he’s equally as shocked. As he regains his composure, I can see tension take over his face and radiate down his neck to his shoulders. “Start talking,” he seethes.

  Garrett nods toward me. “I’ll start talking when she starts packing.”

  James abruptly grabs my wrist and pulls me toward the bedroom. I willingly follow, not that I could resist him. He’s gotten stronger, and I’m sure he would have picked me up and carried me if he had to. As we enter the room, he flips the light switch and tows me toward my closet. He throws open the door and looks pointedly from my suitcase to me. I nod and he releases my wrist, stepping around me to face Garrett. I grab my suitcase and toss it on the bed.

  “Don’t you have anything bigger?” Garrett asks.

  I shoot him a sarcastic look and then head to my dresser, yanking open the top drawer. Behind me I hear James snap, “You’ve been working with The Allegiant all along?”

  “Just Lucas,” Garrett says. “He was the only one who knew.”

  “Why?”

  “Becoming Reborn was his idea; he knew I missed humanity.”

  I grab a handful of socks and underwear and turn back toward the bed to put them in my bag.

  James frowns. “I thought being Reborn was a secret The Allegiant didn’t allow.”

  “You’re right,” Garrett says. “Lucas’ views vary from his brothers; they follow an ancient doctrine. He’s trying to prove a point, and he needs me to be successful.”

  “What’s he trying to prove?” I ask, pausing over my suitcase.

  Garrett shakes his head. “He hasn’t revealed that to me, in case I’m caught by the others. All he said was that it would benefit humanity.”

  “And you believe him?” James asks skeptically.

  “Of course I do,” Garrett looks offe
nded. “He was my Guardian.”

  James looks doubtful. “Do the other Guardians know?”

  Garrett opens his mouth to answer then pauses. He eyes my nearly empty suitcase and then meets my gaze. I get the hint. No more information if I don’t start moving. I turn back toward my dresser.

  “Just Jack,” Garrett continues. “Lucas was his Guardian too, since we’re twins. He brought being Reborn to both of us.”

  I pull out a few sweaters from my dresser then move down a drawer to grab some jeans.

  “Why didn’t you tell us?” James asks in frustration. “It would have been easier knowing we had an ally.”

  “If you knew and you were caught, Lucas would be exposed,” Garrett says. “The only reason he was able to warn me about Meg and Jenna was because they were kept in the dark.”

  “What will happen to them?” I ask quietly, my arms full of clothes.

  Garrett gives me a grim look. “Right now, they’re being held for information while The Allegiant try to locate the rest of us. Thankfully, Jack was visiting me when I got the call and he’s disappeared.”

  My stomach drops as I think of Jack running. He came across so tough. I start to feel even more ill at the thought of Thomas and Joss being captured; they’re so kind and Thomas would do anything for Joss, including put himself at risk.

  Garrett continues. “Lucas called to ask about our progress. He’s been pretending to be outraged while stalling at the same time. That’s why we have to move; we have to scatter.”

  I drop my clothes into the suitcase as James says, “So let’s go.”

  “None of us can know where the others end up,” Garrett strategizes with James. “You need to stay out of the Intermediate and away from Emma.”

  The thought of being alone in some strange place doesn’t sit well with my heart, and suddenly I have a hard time catching my breath. My mental state already took a hit this week; I don’t know how much more I can handle. Top that off with trying to figure out how to finish school and avoid my parents, and I’m about ready to hyperventilate.

  James immediately senses my anxiety. “What’s wrong?” He steps away from Garrett and walks toward me, taking my hand and leading me to sit on the bed. He looks into my eyes with a mixed expression of fear, concern, and utter helplessness.

  It’s in that moment that I resolve to get through this. I concentrate and work on steadying my breathing to a natural rhythm. I can’t have him worrying about me and torturing himself to stay away. “It’s okay,” I say and stand back up. “I just panicked for a second. I’ll be all right.” I reach for my suitcase and busy myself organizing things so they will fit.

  James’ attention is pulled away from me by Garrett. “I’ll go with Emma. We’ll take her car and head out; it’s the fastest way to get me out of town. She’ll drop me somewhere, but I won’t stay. Then she can head someplace else.”

  My head snaps up. “Can I go home?” I ask hopefully. Surely I can give my parents a good excuse as to why I’ve moved back.

  Sadly, Garrett shakes his head. “I’m sorry. If James is found by The Allegiant, they would know to look for you there.”

  “But if they have James, why would they need me?” Not that I want James caught.

  “To use you against me,” James says quietly.

  “And to try and locate me,” Garrett adds. “They’ll assume you know more than you do.”

  Damn it. I go back to shoving my clothes into my suitcase. The realization hits that I’m really going through with this, and I’ll need more than clothes. I head out of the room, to the bathroom, to start collecting my toiletries. The boys follow me and resume their discussion in the living area, and I’m glad. I need a few minutes to concentrate on what I need to bring rather than all the what-if’s. If I allow myself to think about this too much, I’ll probably freak out again.

  I collect my things from the bathroom cabinet and move to the bedroom, catching snippets of their conversation.

  “…once things are safe I’ll contact Emma. You’ll feel it through your bond.”

  “How long do you think that will be?”

  “At least until I’m human, I’m sure.”

  I shudder when I hear that answer and try to tune them out. I squish my bathroom bag into the front pocket of my suitcase and realize I forgot my shower stuff. I head back to the bathroom.

  “…wish we had more time to plan.”

  “Don’t I know it.”

  “I’m not comfortable with her being alone.”

  “Neither am I.”

  I peruse the bathroom to make sure I have everything and head back to the bedroom again.

  “…are you sure?”

  “…Evelyn said...”

  I manage to fit my shower items into a side pocket and zip it up tight. I stand and look around my room. I’ll need my textbooks, my laptop, LB of course, her stuff… I walk to my closet and fish out her carrier.

  “Do you need any help?”

  I peer around the closet door to find Garrett standing in my room. “Yes,” I sigh and hold out the carrier. “Can you get LB into this? She hates it.”

  He nods and walks forward to take the carrier from my hands. He sets it on the floor, opens the door, and then leaves the room to round up LB. When he returns with her a moment later, I watch in amazement as he gently places her in the carrier without any trouble and shuts the door tight. She doesn’t make a peep.

  “How did you do that?” I ask wide-eyed.

  “Reiki, remember?” He gives me a crooked smile.

  I sigh and give him a defeated smirk in return. Who knew I would miss the reiki days?

  I move to pick my backpack off the floor and start to stuff my textbooks and notes inside. Garrett collects a book and hands it to me. “I’m really sorry about this,” he says sincerely. “I wish we didn’t have to go.”

  I take the book from him. “We don’t have a choice, remember?”

  He nods and picks up my Ethics folder, turning it over in his hands as I continue to pack. When I finally take the folder from him, he sets his hand tentatively on my shoulder. “I hate that you’re mad at me.”

  Well, I hate it too. I pretend to organize my bag.

  “Will you look at me?” he asks.

  I try to remain impassive and turn my head.

  “If there was any other way to be Reborn, I would have chosen it,” he says. “I want you to know that I didn’t do this to purposefully hurt you or James.”

  I stare at him in silence. I’m not ready to forgive him just yet.

  He looks sad and awkwardly removes his hand from my shoulder. “I just…I hope one day we can be friends again.”

  I look away from him and nod in agreement. “Maybe one day.” I pretend to look for more items to pack. I realize my computer is in the living room and turn to go get it. “I need my laptop.” I walk past him and out of the room without any reconciliation between us. I don’t know when I’ll be able to move past what he did.

  I find my computer on the coffee table, where I left it, and gather it with a few other papers. As I head back to the bedroom I realize James is gone. I sidestep and glance around the kitchen, although why he’d be in there I don’t know. I return to the bedroom, frowning. “Where’s James?”

  Garrett faces me. “He wanted to investigate some options.”

  “Options?”

  “He doesn’t like the idea of you being alone in an unknown place, especially since he can’t check on you.”

  I feel my face contort. “I thought time was of the essence. Shouldn’t we get going? When will he be back?” I would like to see him once more before I leave for Nowheresville.

  “I gave him an hour,” Garrett says. “If we don’t hear from him by then we’re out of here.”

  What’s with the hurry up and wait? I don’t need time for second thoughts! I roughly push my laptop into my backpack and walk over to yank the charger from the wall.

  Garrett and I spend our time in relative silence
, working to gather as much as is necessary. He empties LB’s litter box so I can take it with me, and I scour the kitchen bagging her food, dry snacks for me, and bottles of water in a grocery bag. Who knows how long I’ll be driving? Once that stuff is collected, we carry everything to my car and fill the trunk. On the way, we stop at Garrett’s apartment where he grabs a full duffle bag.

  “When did you have time to pack?” I ask.

  “Jack did it for me before he left,” he says. “So that I could warn you.”

  Once the car is loaded, we head back to my place to wait for James with LB. Garrett pulls his phone from his pocket and takes a seat next to me on the couch. “What’s your number?” he asks.

  “Since when have you had a phone?”

  “Since always.” He navigates to his contact list. “Your number?”

  I recite it to him and watch as he enters it, saving it without a name assigned. I notice he has only two contacts.

  “I won’t call you until things are safe,” he says and studies my face. “Or unless Lucas calls with another warning to move.”

  “Because they can trace me through James?”

  “Yes, and they can trace James through me. I still carry some of his bond. I’m not fully human yet.” He looks remorseful. “That reminds me,” he says and opens a notes app on his phone. “I need your bank information.”

  “What for?”

  “Lucas transferred an obscene amount of money into my account to facilitate this move and any others that might come up; he’s been the one supporting me. He requested that I get your information, so that he may do the same for you.”

  “Really?” That’s kind of nice, I guess.

  “Believe it or not, he feels bad. He doesn’t enjoy hurting others.”

  I shrug. What the hell? It’s not like I’m rich and this Lucas is apparently loaded. I don’t think he’s going to drain my account. I give Garrett my bank name and checking account number.

  I glance at the time and James’ hour is nearly up. There’s been no word from him. Garrett paces as I mindlessly flip through the television channels for a distraction. I guess I should start thinking about which direction to drive. Should I head north and stay in Michigan or drive out of the state? I’ve never been further west than Chicago, when we went there for a weekend school trip. Maybe I should pick a big city; it would be easier to get “lost.”