Everything I want: Will Alfie and Lily's love survive?...

by K. L. Shandwick

  The look on my parents’ faces when they opened the door was difficult for me. I had caused them so much worry during the past week.

  I sunk into the large leather couch, and Alfie was immediately by my side, settling himself down, and snuggling me into his chest.

  “Thank God you’re okay, Lily. Everything is going to be better from now on. We’re just going to be guided by you. When you need to rest do it, you promise me?” I nodded, I felt as weak as a ten-day-old kitten right now anyway, so I was not going to protest about taking it easy.

  I fell asleep again, and when I woke, Alfie’s voice was vibrating in his chest, and I felt so comforted to be in his arms. Waking and listening to Alfie sounding so relaxed, talking to my dad, was a lovely feeling. I just lay with my eyes closed and listened to two of my favorite men getting along. It was music to my ears.

  “Absolutely. I’ll love this girl forever. If she wasn’t with me, nothing else would matter. Lily is the other half of me I didn’t know was missing, until she wasn’t around.”

  I felt like I was eavesdropping, and that wasn’t really fair to Alfie, so I shifted and opened my eyes. I couldn’t pretend to be sleep while he poured his heart out about me to my dad. I stretched out a little and when I stirred he looked down at me. “Hey,” he cooed.

  “You think you can stay awake a bit longer, so that you can eat something?”

  I smiled. “That depends what I’m eating,” I said not sure that I had much of an appetite. Alfie’s eyes lit up, and I realized what he thought and blushed. My dad was sitting right there for goodness’ sake, as if I would make a comment that was in any way insinuating performing a sexual act on him for crying out loud.

  So, I quickly added, “I mean if it isn’t something too heavy. I’m not that hungry right now,” I mumbled flicking my eyes quickly in my dad’s direction. My dad was reading something on his tablet thank goodness and had missed the exchange.

  Glancing back at Alfie, I shook my head, widening my eyes in my dad’s direction. Alfie’s eyes flicked over to my dad and back to me. He smirked and kissed the top of my head, snuggling me tighter into his chest.

  “Don’t eat too much at once then, just keep a little appetite for dessert in case you fancy it later.” He pinched his lips, and I could see a smile play on his face. The guy got away with far too much sometimes.

  Chapter 35 – Emotional day

  Dinner was good. My mom made a very light cheese soufflé and some smoked salmon. It was the perfect dinner. I hadn’t eaten much for the past week, and my stomach was delicate. She ran a bath and helped me in to soak. Alfie looked a bit miffed that he wasn’t getting to sit with me in the bathroom, but respected my mom’s position, and let her help me.

  My mom helped me bathe and slip into some sweatpants and a tank top, and when we went back to the sitting room, Alfie passed me his cell. “Elle wants to talk to you.” He smiled and gently gestured the cell for me to take it.

  Swallowing audibly, I took the cell, but I wasn’t sure what she was going to say to me after our spat before my accident. “Hi Elle,” I squeaked, my voice sounding slightly pathetic.

  “Hiya, Lily. I’m so glad you’re okay, and you’re home. Would it be okay for me to come see you tomorrow?” It was so good to hear her voice, and it had no trace of malice in it.

  “Yeah, I’d like that, Elle.” I smiled and as soon as I heard her tone, I felt we were going to be okay. I should have known better, we’d been friends for a long time.

  “How’s the wedding going?” I asked and heard the excitement in her voice as soon as she spoke. “There’s still a lot to organize and that’s kind of why I was coming to see you tomorrow. I only have twelve days left and still don’t have a dress, and I need to pick colors for the bridesmaid’s dresses and tables…I’m still not one hundred percent on those.”

  My jaw gaped. This girl was so laidback, she was horizontal. “You have no dress yet?” She snickered into the phone.

  “Well I wasn’t picking my dress out without the help of my maid of honor. So I had to wait for her to get home to help me. I’ll come over tomorrow and show you the choices I have for the linens, menu, flowers, and table decorations, and you can finalize them with me.

  “Mandy’s friend, Leanne, from fashion school is making the bridesmaid’s dresses for you, Mandy, Holly, and Rosie. Don’t worry she has all the help she needs so it won’t take more than a day or two,” she gushed anticipating my panic that the dresses were still to be made from scratch.

  “My little cousins, Molly and Jasmine, are flower girls, and their dresses are already done. They are lilac and will go with whatever color we choose. I have pink, cerise, deep purple, and a pale rose-colored material.”

  Elle spoke so confidently about everything that still had to be done; if it were my wedding and all this stuff still had to be done, I’d be in a blind panic. I didn’t have to worry about any of that yet, Alfie might have joked that he asked me to get married when we were in the hospital, but I doubted he was at the point of committing to me forever, despite his words telling me I was his always.

  Elle and I finished our call, and I was tired again. I could see that Alfie was exhausted too. “Sorry, guys but I am really done for the day, I need to go to bed.

  “I had been hoping to have more energy, but with the flight and all the emotion of leaving hospital, I am wiped out.” Everyone agreed that I should just go and get settled in bed.

  Alfie was on his feet, trying to look like he was doing this for me, when I knew that deep down, all he wanted was to be in bed beside me without the wires or monitors and a twin mattress. Not to mention the steady stream of people coming in to check on us.

  When we got in my bedroom, I stripped out of my sweatpants and Alfie’s eyes fell to my groin. His eyes immediately darkened, because I hadn’t put panties on after my bath. I asked him to help me take the tank top off, the spaghetti straps made it difficult to pull it above my breasts with just one hand.

  Alfie walked over slowly and smiled at me. “You’re going to use that hand to torture me with stuff like this for weeks now, aren’t you?” His voice was low and seductive.

  “I might…if you’re good that is.” I smirked. He slowly peeled the top up my body and over my head, taking special care to avoid my sore arm.

  When he discarded the tank top by throwing it onto the chair, his gaze fell back to my naked frame. His hands automatically cupped my breasts. A sexy smile played on his lips, and the look he gave me was both flirty and dirty.

  “Hmm…yeah.” He nodded swallowing hard.

  I snickered at him. “What does that mean?” I chuckled.

  “My dick twitched in appreciation when I got you naked, I was just agreeing with him.” He smirked.

  Chuckling, I shook my head. “Not fair Alfie, you have me at a disadvantage.”

  He raised his eyebrow. “How so?” He smiled playfully at me, trying not to let it form into proper grin.

  “I’ve given you a lap dance, and as I’m kind of laid up at the moment, I think it’s your turn to do something for me.”

  “Seriously? You want me to strip for you?”

  I giggled. “Are you telling me you’ve never done that before, and you are a famous rock star an’ all?” My voice was mimicking Holly’s Texas drawl, and Alfie and I both giggled at my effort with that. “Well maybe not today, but I’ll want you to surprise me with that sometime, okay?”

  He chuckled. “Sure, and I can choose when it happens and the music, right? That means you’ll be left in suspense until I decide to put you out of your misery with that one.”

  I could see his mind working already, but I knew it might be a while before he’d spring it on me. I hoped he didn’t leave it too long, but long enough for me to be well enough to do something about it.

  Alfie shucked out of his clothes and threw my duvet back, laying me on the bed
. He turned the bedside light on and the overhead light off. The soft, creamy lighting in the room changed our mood instantly. Alfie smiled as he slipped in beside me.

  “Let me just look at you,” he cooed. He lay staring into my eyes, his irises disappearing as his pupils dilated, because Alfie liked what he saw before him. He inhaled sharply. “You really have no idea what you do to me, Lily. I am so grateful that I’m right here with you.” He lay still, saying nothing for what seemed like an age again. I was taking him in as well. This perfectly formed, gorgeous man, who had risen above most of his peers in the music world, was everything to me.

  “I love you, Alfie.”

  He swallowed hard. “You know, that just doesn’t do it for me.”

  His words were a punch to my heart. Adrenaline instantly sent my body racing. “You don’t think I love you?” Fear must have registered on my face, because he was immediately reassuring me.

  “God, no, honey. I mean, I love you doesn’t begin to explain what I feel for you. I know I was a shitty person in the beginning to you, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could have had a do over with you for that. What I want to say is…” Alfie tried to collect his thoughts and pour out what was in his heart.

  “Lily, this isn’t how I wanted to do this, but right in this moment, I feel it’s the perfect time.” He had me confused. I didn’t know what he was trying to do, so I waited until he felt able to tell me what he wanted to say.

  “You are the only girl I have ever known that stirs every feeling in me that I both want to feel and never want to feel again. I have thought about that long and hard, and I’ve come to realize it’s because when I met you, my heart ceased to be mine and became ours.” He swallowed, and his eyes searched my face, before he continued, “It means that you have the ability to convey your feelings from your heart to mine, so that both of our hearts connect and communicate with our bodies without a single word being spoken.”

  “So.” He smiled nervously, his eyes shining, but with a hint of uncertainty there. He took my hand and held it over his heart. “Can you feel it beating?”

  I nodded. He’d rendered me speechless as I tried to choke the tears away at the romantic way he was telling me what I meant to him. He exhaled a breath he’d been holding in. “So…Lily, my sweet, beautiful perfect, forever girl, will you marry me?”

  I burst into tears and began sobbing, and Alfie began talking quickly. “Okay, I wasn’t sure if you would agree, because I know you worry about how you can have a career and be with me, but I wasn’t quite expecting this. Please don’t cry, Lily. I’m sorry, it was stupid to do this now, especially when you’ve just come home from the hospital, and it’s an emotional time any way…”

  I put my fingers to his lips. “Shush.” I sniffed through my tears. I kept hitching my breath because I had been crying, trying to get my breath back on an even keel.

  The desolate look on Alfie’s face broke my heart. “Alfie, what you just told me, I have been waiting to hear for the past two years. I love you with all of my heart. There has never been another man for me since I realized how I felt about you.” I felt embarrassed at the other men I’d slept with since.

  I realized I wasn’t sorry about that, because it taught me that Alfie really was the one for me, no matter how I’d felt about Max, Will, or Luca. Alfie was the real deal for me, and without them I probably wouldn’t have realized just how deep my feelings for Alfie really went.

  I cupped Alfie’s face, and Alfie stared at me not smiling, a worried look on his face. “You don’t need to worry Alfie I would never turn you down, because my heart is completely operating with yours. I feel like you have one half and I have the other, so I know exactly how you feel. I don’t know how we’ll work it out, but now that we’ve started, we need to keep moving forward. A life without you is no life, music or no music.”

  I smiled and kissed his lips softly, and his hands cupped both sides of my head. We were lying naked, facing each other, snug under the duvet in the bedroom I had grown up in. Personally, I couldn’t think of a more perfect place for him to propose to me. It was simple, honest, and from the heart.

  “Alfie Black, I most definitely and absolutely will marry you on one condition.” Alfie’s brows furrowed. “Anything.” I smiled at his eagerness to do what I asked.

  “Never leave me without talking to me again, and if we’re apart, you never ignore me, I can’t stand it, it tore me apart Alfie.” Alfie smirked. “Well technically that’s two conditions, but you don’t need to worry, Lily, I can tell you right this second that it’s never going to happen again, because we are never going to be apart again.” He wiggled his finger between us when he said it.

  “So… I’m going to ask you the question again, because I think my answer got lost in all the discussions that followed it, and I need to be absolutely clear. Lily, my sweet, beautiful little rock chick, will you marry me?”

  I grinned and pushed my head forward, kissing him gently on his closed mouth. I left my lips there, not trying for anything more. When I drew my head back my gaze met his in a smoldering connection. “Alfie, nothing would give me greater pleasure in this life than to be your wife, so yes of course I’ll marry you.”

  Alfie grinned and exhaled loudly. He growled and scooped me into his arms, breathing heavily into my hair. “Thank you, Lily, you won’t regret it. I am going to do everything in my power to make you the happiest wife in the world. Apart from all the bullshit, we’re a perfect match.” He gave me his sexy lopsided smile. “So, I look forward to waking up to you every day for the rest of my life, because you are mine, and I am the luckiest fucking man in the world.”

  Alfie sat up and turned the light out, crawled back under the duvet, and scooped me back into his arms. “Okay, I turned the light off because I want you to concentrate on this kiss. It’s the first one as my fiancée.”

  I started to giggle, but it died on my lips as soon as his found mine. He poured all his love into my mouth, in his kiss. It was everything from soft, slow, and tender, sensual and passionate, to hungry and devouring. When he broke the kiss, we were both speechless and breathless.

  My heart was beating rapidly, and I was so turned on but emotional, that a tear ran down my cheek. He placed my hand over his heart and then placed his over mine. His heart was beating strongly and in time with mine. “At one point I told you I didn’t do emotions, but when we feel this way about each other, there is no denying it.”

  Alfie gave me a little squeeze. “Sleep now, baby. I’m not making love to you until you’re strong enough, because I won’t be able to restrain myself, and right now, I’d probably finish you off, instead of watch you recover from your ordeal.”

  I laughed softly as he scooped tighter in his arms again, then spun me to face away from him and spooned against me closely. His hand weaved around my belly and rested on my hip, while his other lay gently on the shoulder of my sore arm.

  “Good night darlin’ hope you’re feeling better tomorrow.” He kissed the back of my neck. I was already starting to drift, still not strong enough to fight the fatigue, but I managed to murmur, “I don’t think I’ll ever feel better than I do right at this second.”

  Alfie squeezed my hip and tugged me tighter and I let sleep claim me with his soft, even breaths soothing me as they blew over my neck. For all the emotional turmoil we’d been through, it was probably our most emotional day yet.

  Chapter 36 – Dresses

  I woke up to Alfie strumming my left nipple back and forth. “I take it you’re awake, Alfie, and not writing a new song on my nipple there,” I muttered and stretched out.

  My arm ached, and I tried to sit up. Alfie shot up to a sitting position and helped me, propping the pillows and adjusting me to sit in a semi recumbent position. He leaned forward and kissed me. “Elle will be over soon, she woke me when she sent a text to tell us she was on her way.”

>   Alfie helped me shower, and he was a true gentleman. When he was helping me dress his eyes locked with mine. “Can I ask you something?” I smiled. “Sure.” He put his hands on the sides of my arms. “You were really serious about marrying me last night?”

  Stunned he still couldn’t believe I would agree to marry him. I put my good arm around his neck and snaked my hand up into his hair. “I am.”

  He grinned widely. “You really want to marry me?”

  I smiled wider, his eyes lighting up. I felt a little flushed, suddenly a tad shy. “I do.” He bent and kissed me gently, then pulled away.

  “Okay, well, I have stuff to do today with Drew, so we’ll pick this up again later.” He smirked, smacked my ass lightly, and sexily sashayed out of the bathroom.

  I was trying to put on some socks when Elle came into my bedroom. “So, you’re not having sex again yet, then? Alfie’s out there looking full of pent up energy,” she commented nonchalantly.

  I smirked at her assessment of Alfie’s manner. “Actually, Elle, I think that’s got more to do with the conversation we had last night and this morning.”

  She raised her brow at me. “Go on…”

  I wasn’t sure whether I should tell her or wait for Alfie and me to do it together, but hell I couldn’t wait. “Alfie asked me to marry him.”

  Elle’s jaw dropped. “Aww Lily and you said yes, right?” I nodded and giggled nervously. Elle climbed on my bed and started jumping up and down. “It’s about fucking time.” She laughed loudly.

  “Shush! My parents haven’t even been told yet.” I laughed, and we did this little happy dance together as best as I could with my arm hurting so badly.