Loving Rowan

by Ariadne Wayne

  I nodded. “I know. But I swear to you, Kyle, the only man I love is you. The only man I’ve ever slept with is you. I wouldn’t let him touch me in a million years. When he couldn’t get what he wanted, he called me names and put me down. You would never do that. All these years I thought I was ugly and you made me feel beautiful. No one else ever did that for me.”

  He put the phone back on the table. “You are beautiful. He knows that, he made you feel that way all of those years knowing if you had low self-esteem he would always have you as a back up. You do know that, don’t you?” His eyes were pleading with me, his fists bunched, and I knew he was fighting the temptation to find Andrew and punch him.

  “I do. I should have told you, I know that. You are just so perfect; warm and loving and sexy, and you love me and only me. I didn’t want to upset you.”

  Kyle stood, taking my hands in his as he looked into my eyes. “There is nothing you can’t tell me. This doesn’t work if we’re not both open and honest with each other, Rowan. What I feel for you is overwhelming, and the thought of you keeping secrets from me kills me. Especially for him.”

  I sighed. “I didn’t do it for him, I did it for you. I’m sorry. The last few weeks, I’ve just felt so under pressure. I’m terrified after what happened in the hospital. To be honest I’ve been distracted by wanting to protect our daughter from anything that might happen to me, I didn’t even think about Andrew getting in contact.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I was so scared of having another seizure. What if it happened when I was holding her? What if I hurt her?” I could feel the tears building as the stress I’d felt finally released.

  “Oh, baby. I could have stayed home with you if I knew you were concerned. Dad would understand. Nothing is more important than you and Mia. I’ll deal with Andrew. Let’s go to bed and forget all of this until tomorrow. Deal?”

  I nodded. “Yes please,” I whispered.

  He smiled. “Rowan, you don’t ever have to keep anything from me. I’ll always be on your side.”

  The tears were coming now, and I struggled to breathe through them. Kyle wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. “Come on, baby. I want to kiss every last inch of that gorgeous body of yours before we go to sleep.”

  He let go, holding out his hand for me to take and leading me to the bedroom where we could snuggle. I stripped off, slipping in to bed beside him.

  “You don’t have any idea just how beautiful you are, do you?” he said, as he stroked my breasts.

  “You say that all the time.”

  “Because I mean it. Rowan, your body drove me crazy before Mia, and it drives me crazy now. Because it’s you. I love you, no matter what you look like. Nothing will ever change that.”

  Tears welled up in my eyes, and I kissed him. “I love you so much, Kyle. You and Mia are my whole world. Please tell me you know that.”

  “I do know that, baby. Please don’t hold anything back from now on. It kills me that you didn’t think you could talk to me about any of this. We’re supposed to be in this together.”

  “I’m sorry.” I clung to him. The thought of screwing things up and losing him was unbearable.

  “There is nothing to be sorry about. Just tell me that when you need me, you’ll let me know. Don’t be afraid to tell me anything.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  Kyle

  I love my wife.

  She is my life, my whole world, the air that I breathe. No matter how much of a cliché that sounds, every word is true. She was from the moment she walked into that bedroom, the first night we spent together.

  I watched her as she slept. It was hard not to, when she was sharing my pillow. We both used to be the kind of people that liked their space when they sleep. Now we end up on one side of the bed each night, entangled in each other as we dream together.

  I had delivered on my promise. She needed to know how much I loved her after all that crap with Andrew and the text messages. It would have been easy to be angry with her for withholding the truth from me, but I knew why she did it. She was scared.

  Her whole life she had loved a man who didn’t love her. Now she had me, and she was terrified of losing what she had. But nothing would ever stop me loving her.

  We had gone to bed, and I had kissed her beautiful body, praising the changes that she was insecure about. She got that look on her face that I loved as she came close to coming. That look of complete and total bliss.

  Only I had ever given her that look. No one else ever would.

  Now, she slept peacefully, sharing my pillow, her arm draped over me as she claimed me as her own. I was completely and utterly hers.

  Any anger I had was directed at Andrew for targeting a woman who had recently given birth, who he knew was insecure about her body. He knew exactly what he was doing harassing her, and I was proud of Rowan for ignoring it. I didn’t have to check her messages or emails. Her word was good enough for me.

  She was amazing. Her whole world of regimented routine had been thrown out the window by a squawking tiny human whose wants and needs knew no bounds. At four months old, Mia owned both of us.

  In the morning, I would call Dad, tell him I was going to take more time off to spend at home. He had been really supportive of us, and had asked me before if I’d wanted more time. As it was, I’d waited until she had the all clear from the doctor after her seizure. Now I’d found that even after that, it had weighed on her mind. That broke my heart.

  My poor baby had been through so much these past few weeks, and I had been completely blind to it. I had been floating on cloud nine for weeks after becoming a father, and it stung to realise that I had been neglecting the one person who mattered more than anything.

  Without her, everything else was meaningless. I slipped my arm out from under her, sliding out of bed and bending to kiss her cheek before going back to the living room. Picking up her phone, I read back through the text messages. He was begging, pleading with her to pay attention to him, trying to guilt trip her into seeing him.

  As much as I knew she loved me, it surprised me that she hadn’t bitten or given in. She was so forgiving and gentle that I was sure his grief must be weighing on her mind. Sometimes I saw her looking through old photos that included pictures of the three of them. Charlie’s death still bothered her, and I understood that. For Andrew to play on that angered me beyond belief.

  I looked back at the bedroom door. My whole life was in that room, and I’d be damned if I was going to let this continue. Tapping out a response, I sent a text back to Andrew.

  There’s a park near my place. We need to talk.

  Seconds later, came the response.

  I know the place. When?

  Without even thinking, I felt my free hand form into a fist. It had been a fairly vague text, but he knew where I was talking about? Had he been watching her?

  Ten o’clock tomorrow morning. See you by the duck pond.

  Thank you, Rowan. You won’t regret it.

  Regret it? She wouldn’t even know about it. My job was to protect her, and I would do whatever it took. Clearly her ignoring him wasn’t bringing home the message. I would just reinforce it.

  I smiled as I looked at her, still sleeping peacefully as I went back into the room. I slid in beside her, slipping my arm back under her neck. She stirred. “You’re cold,” she mumbled.

  “You’ll just have to warm me up,” I whispered, holding her close. I closed my eyes, safe in the knowledge that she was mine, and always would be.

  ~

  The air was still chilly at ten the next morning, and I stood by the pond, rubbing my hands together to ward off the cold. I’d told Rowan I was going out to get milk, so I had to remember to do that before going home.

  I saw him approaching, looking around for her. I’d pocketed her phone as I left the house, in case he sent her another text. Apart from talking to me, she barely used it and wouldn’t miss it.

  He reac
hed into his pocket, pulling out his phone before seeing me. An uncertain look crossed his face as he stood staring at me, and I smiled back at him.

  “Hey, Andrew.” I waved at him, moving closer as he just stood there. As if he was waiting for something. The colour had drained from his face.

  “Oh, Kyle. Hi,” he said, looking at his phone and frowning.

  “If you’re looking for Rowan, she’s not coming. I sent you the text.”

  His face fell, though I suspected he’d guessed that once he saw me.

  “Andrew, you have to leave her alone. She’s not responded because she’s moved on with her life, and she has no idea if you can fit into that.”

  He glared at me. “You don’t speak for her.”

  “You know her well enough to know she can’t handle confrontation. She has enough to deal with right now without the extra pressure of you wanting to renew your friendship. Personally, I think that friendship was toxic for a lot of reasons—mostly the way you knew how much she cared about you, and yet you did nothing to let her know that she should move on with her life.”

  Andrew drew himself up to his full height, eyeballing me and saying nothing.

  “I’ve got nothing against you, believe me. And if Rowan wanted you in her life, I can’t say I’d be happy about it, but I’d tolerate it for her sake. What I want is for you to leave her alone. If she wants your friendship, Andrew, she’ll contact you.”

  He shook his head. “I should have known you’d stand in the way.”

  “I’m not. I only found out about all the texts and emails last night. Rowan didn’t want to upset me. She’s still dealing with the issues surrounding Mia’s birth, Andrew. The seizure scared the hell out of her, more than she could admit. I’m looking out for my wife and her health, physical and mental.”

  As much as I just wanted to hit him and get it out of the way, there was no malice meant in my words. He was in pain from his loss, I could see that. Even if I’d seen him out and about drinking with other women, his loss of Charlie was as painful to him as if I’d lost Rowan. I had to admit to a certain amount of empathy. Losing someone so close must have been hard.

  He shrugged, turning away. That was the moment I wanted to hit him. His complete lack of care for what Rowan was going through. No matter what, it was all about Andrew.

  I watched as he disappeared amongst the trees without another word. I’d been more than reasonable; any more crap from him and I would take a legal course of action if I had to. I would just have to make sure Rowan was ready for that.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  Kyle

  Andrew’s car was parked outside the house when I got home. I recognised it from the hospital, as I’d made sure he’d left the grounds before I did.

  The garage door was open, and I drove straight in, running into the house when I heard raised voices coming from inside. I could hear Rowan yelling which was so unlike her.

  Rowan stood in the living room, shaking as she stood looking at Andrew, her hands fisted up as if ready to protect herself.

  “What the hell is going on?” I stormed into the room. She moved behind me, looking for protection as Andrew tried to reach for her.

  “I put the bin out and left the garage door open for you, and Andrew let himself in. He wants me to go away with him, but I’ve told him that’s not going to happen, Kyle. I swear.”

  I turned to her, cupping her face and kissing her. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I believe you.” Turning back to face Andrew, I shook my head. “You need to leave. Now.”

  His face distorted as a mess of emotion crossed his face, and I realised something wasn’t quite right.

  “Get out of our house, Andrew.”

  I didn’t see him pick up the vase at first from the table beside the couch, but I sure as hell felt it as it slammed into the side of my face. My head spun at the sudden impact. The vase was solid glass, and didn’t shatter but hit with a thud.

  Rowan screamed, and I felt myself falling as everything turned to black.

  ~

  Mia’s crying.

  My head was spinning, my eyes blurry as I opened them.

  Rowan will get her.

  I shook my head, trying to stop the room from moving.

  Rowan? Shit. Where is she?

  Fear engulfed me as I stood, and realised someone was thumping at the door. Mia needed me, and I stumbled into her room, rubbing the side of my face, tender to the touch. No doubt there was one massive bruise where I was hit.

  Mia looked up at me with those big blue eyes. Her hair had started to darken, and she looked more and more like me every day. Her little face screwed up as she squawked about whatever was upsetting her.

  I picked her up and headed for the front door. Rowan was nowhere to be seen, and an ache engulfed my stomach at the realisation that she was gone. She wouldn’t leave me, and she wouldn’t just leave Mia; nothing would separate them. Andrew had to be responsible.

  My heart raced as I ran to the door, finding two cops knocking. The female one recoiled at seeing my face. Mia had calmed, but still let out the odd wail to remind me she was there.

  “Mr Warner? We had a report from one of your neighbours that your wife was taken forcibly into a car. I can see something’s happened. Can we come in?”

  “Oh God, he took her? Please.” I rocked Mia in my arms. She screeched in my ear, presumably annoyed I wasn’t doing something to sort out her problem. “I need to sort my daughter out.”

  They both nodded, following me into the house. I grabbed a clean nappy from the pile, and sat on the floor. As hard as it was not to run out and try to find Rowan myself, Mia had to come first right now.

  “You need to find her,” I said

  “Mr Warner, the licence plate has been called in and there is more help on the way. Can you give us any details as to what happened?”

  “I came home to find my wife arguing with Andrew. That’s Andrew Carmichael. He’s been hassling her lately, and I told him to back off. Please, you have to find her.”

  “We will.” The female officer nodded, still looking over my bruising.

  “He was trying to talk Rowan into going with him, and she’d refused. I told him to leave and he smacked me with something heavy. Next thing I know, Mia’s crying and you two are on my doorstep.”

  Mia lit up as soon as I put the clean nappy on her, and I hugged her tight. At least it was an easy fix this time.

  “Do you have any idea where he might have taken her?”

  Exasperated, I shook my head. “I don’t know? His place, maybe. I don’t know him that well, he was Rowan’s old friend.”

  “I’ll call a doctor in, get that face of yours seen to as well. Looks nasty,” she said. I was barely paying attention to them; my thoughts with Rowan and my daughter. I hugged Mia so tight she squealed in protest.

  I pointed at the vase on the floor. Made of thick glass, it had been the perfect weapon in the perfect spot for Andrew to hit me with.

  “I’m guessing that’s what he hit me with.”

  “Do you know why he might have done something like this?”

  “Andrew’s wife died on their honeymoon a while ago. They were both good friends with my wife, and he tried to turn to her when it all happened. He told her he loved her and wanted to be with her, as if she could just replace Charlie. The whole thing screwed him up. I told him to back off and leave her alone, and I thought he got the message. Clearly not.”

  They were both franticly taking notes. “The wife’s death. Was it suspicious at all?”

  I shook my head. “As much as I dislike Andrew, that’s barking up the wrong tree. Rowan said Charlie had really bad asthma as a child. She had a massive asthma attack and it took too long to get her to the hospital. It’s his reaction to it that’s not right.”

  They sat, talking quietly while I looked at Mia. I didn’t care what they had to say, as long as they found Rowan. Neither of us could cope without her for long, and she needed to be home, where she be
longed. The one consolation I had was that Andrew wouldn’t hurt her. Not if she meant this much to him.

  “Mr Warner?” I looked up, and one of them was smiling at me.

  “What?”

  “We’re going to set up base here, just in case you get a ransom call. There’ll be someone on site to monitor the situation, but from what you’ve told us we need to find where they are and assess the situation. Do you have anyone who can come and sit with you?”

  Mia gurgled. She’d be hungry soon, and I knew Rowan had some milk she’d expressed in the freezer. I should make a move and get that heated, ready for her feed.

  “Mr Warner?” The female police officer was talking to me and I could barely hear what she was saying.

  You have to snap out of it and pay attention.

  “Um, yeah, my dad. I’ll call him.”

  “I think you have enough on your plate. Give me his number and I’ll call him. That little one looks like she’s hungry, from the way she’s pulling faces. Go and sort her out.” I gave her Dad’s number, feeling guilty about not calling him myself, but Mia was more important, and she let out a wail as I walked into the kitchen with her.

  “Oh, sweetie, Daddy’s got you.” I wasn’t as skilled as Rowan at doing things one-handed, but I found some milk in the fridge and heated some water to sit the bottle in. Mia fussed, and I clucked at her, trying to appease her, but I knew she’d feel the loss of her mother even if she wasn’t old enough to know what was going on.

  I opened the freezer door. Stacked neatly was enough milk to last us maybe the next twenty four hours. Rowan had to be back before then. Please let her be back soon.