To Have and to Hold

by Laura Dower

  Am I overreacting or will this marriage mean Dad goes on some kind of permanent vacation with Stephanie--and leaves me in the dust?

  Rude Awakening: All my bags are packed. But I’m so NOT ready to go.

  Chapter 7

  MADISON’S EYES SCANNED THE bookshelves at the Cyber Café. She wasn’t sure she liked what she read.

  Vow Power: Planning Your Second Wedding

  Second Marriage, Fat Chance

  Bring the Whole Family: The Brady Bunch Syndrome

  Step-Parenting: Harder Than It Looks

  Marry Me, Marry My Kids

  “Do people really read this stuff?” Madison asked Aimee.

  Aimee glanced over from where she was shelving some new books in the opposite aisle.

  “I guess so,” Aimee mumbled.

  Madison and all her friends had come to the café for the afternoon because it was raining outside. It was no beach day.

  The store was packed with customers. There were so many people shopping inside that Aimee’s dad, Mr. Gillespie, had to crank up the air conditioner. The combination of rain and crowds of people had made it very humid in the store.

  “Look what I found,” Fiona announced, rushing around the corner with a stack of magazines. “Your dad said we could just have these.”

  Madison glanced over and saw a pile of old issues of Star Beat.

  “But those are out of date now,” Madison said.

  “Yeah, but we can still tear out good hairstyles and clothes, right? Maybe there are some other ideas for what you can bring to the wedding,” Fiona suggested.

  “Hey, Maddie,” Aimee said, pointing to a revolving rack. “Don’t forget to check out postcards. My dad just got new ones. I bet you could use some for your wedding collage.”

  Madison’s eyes lit up. “Cool,” she said.

  “AIMEE!” Mr. Gillespie called out.

  Aimee made a face. When Aimee was at the bookstore, she couldn’t just hang out. Mr. Gillespie always put her to work. “See you guys in a little bit,” she said, heading around the corner to help her dad at the register.

  Madison turned back to the books on marriage and romance.

  “Hey, do you think you’ll ever get married, Fiona?” Madison asked absentmindedly.

  Fiona gasped. “Married? Maddie!” she cried. “That’s too far into the future.”

  “Yeah, but if you had to make a guess …” Madison asked again.

  Fiona smiled. “Sure,” she admitted. “I guess I’ll get married.”

  “Where?” Madison asked.

  “Back in California,” Fiona said wistfully. She still missed her old town and friends there. “That much I know for sure. On the beach. In my bare feet.”

  “That’s so romantic—like in a movie,” Madison said.

  “And I would do it at sunset. It would have to be perfect….” Fiona continued.

  “Can you imagine what it must feel like to have someone ask?” Madison wondered aloud. “‘Will you marry me?’ It gives me chills.”

  “Maybe Egg will ask me to marry him someday,” Fiona said, half jokingly.

  “Oh, Fiona!” Madison wrinkled her nose. “That is just too weird to even think about. Egg?!”

  “What about you, Maddie? Do you think you’ll get married?” Fiona asked.

  “Sometimes,” Madison said with a shrug. “But then sometimes I wonder if I will ever even fall in love….”

  “Wait. You can’t stress out about that yet. We’re only in junior high,” Fiona said.

  “Yeah, but everyone always gets paired off,” Madison said. “Except me.”

  Fiona leaned in for a hug. “That is so not true. My brother will never pair off with anyone,” she cracked.

  Madison laughed. “Oh, like that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

  “You know what I mean,” Fiona said, still chuckling.

  “I just wish I could meet someone I like who likes me right back….” Madison said. As she spoke, their troop of guy friends appeared from around the corner. Chet and Egg led the pack. Hart was there, too, next to Dan.

  Madison choked back her words.

  How much had they heard?

  Of course, deep, deep down, Madison dreamed that Hart would be the kind of guy she would marry. But she was too afraid to admit that out loud to anyone else except Phinnie and her long-distance keypal, Bigwheels.

  “Hey!” Egg said.

  “What are you doing?” Chet asked.

  “Girl stuff,” Fiona said. She did not take her eyes off Egg.

  “You guys are always doing girl stuff,” Chet groaned. He poked at a row of books next to his head.

  Egg crouched down on the floor near Fiona. “We were thinking of getting ice cream soon. Want to go?” he asked.

  Madison watched Fiona bat her eyelashes at Egg as if she were a character in a cartoon.

  “Okay,” Fiona said softly.

  Dan and Chet laughed at a joke book they were looking at.

  Hart sidled up to Madison. “Looking for something?” he asked her.

  She quickly glanced down at the bright-pink book in her hands.

  Head over Heels: 101 Ways to Make Him Fall in Love with You.

  Madison shoved the book under her armpit before Hart could read the title.

  “No, nothing special … no, not really,” Madison said, tongue-tied and losing her balance. She leaned sideways into the bookshelf.

  Hart reached out and grabbed Madison’s arm to pull her back.

  “Oh!” Madison let out a little cry of surprise.

  “Don’t fall,” Hart said, smiling.

  All Madison could think was that she shouldn’t fall in love with Hart. She regained her balance and still managed to hide the pink book from him.

  “Actually, I was looking for a book for my mom,” Madison lied.

  “Really?” Hart said, a little distracted.

  Madison realized that he didn’t really care what book she was holding or what book she was looking for. He was just being nice.

  “So where’s Drew today?” Madison asked him.

  “Hanging with Elaine,” Hart said with a grin. “He’s helping set up a computer at her house.”

  “Oh,” Madison said. She stared down at the floor.

  “I think my cousin likes her,” Hart admitted.

  Madison lifted her head and tried to force a smile. “That’s good for him,” she said. “Elaine is nice, isn’t she?”

  “Elaine is like the nicest girl ever—” Hart started to say. “Except for you … and Fiona … and Aimee. Of course.”

  Madison faked a laugh. “Whatever,” she said.

  Hart laughed, too, and ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, whatever,” he said, awkwardly.

  What was with these guys? Madison wondered.

  Aimee reappeared, pirouetting.

  “Guess what?” Aimee said. “Dad says he’ll treat us all to smoothies in the café if you guys want. That way we don’t have to go outside to Freeze Palace and get wet.”

  By now, all the friends had gathered together in a huddle at the back of the store, and it reminded Madison of sitting at the orange table in the back of the lunchroom at FHJH.

  “I want to check out the cyber stations first,” Egg said. “We put our name on the waiting list. Can we get the smoothies after that?”

  “Sure,” Aimee said. “Whenever you want. The key thing is that they’re FREE.”

  “Totally free!” Chet said. “Thanks, Mr. G.”

  Egg laughed out loud. “Gee, Chet, you’re a poet and you don’t even know it. Ha-ha-ha.”

  “Huh?” Chet said. “What are you talking about?”

  Fiona rolled her eyes. “Dork,” she said under her breath.

  The other boys snickered and shuffled off to the computer area of the store.

  “See you later, Finnster,” Hart said.

  Madison smiled. “Later,” she said quietly. She watched him walk away.

  “Maddie,” Aimee whispered. �
��What’s going on with you and Hart?”

  Madison’s eyes bugged out. “What are you talking about?”

  “You were so flirting with him just now,” Aimee said.

  “I saw it, too,” Fiona added.

  Madison bit her lip. She felt her cheeks growing hotter than hot. “I was not flirting,” Madison said defensively.

  Aimee lifted an eyebrow. “You are the world’s worst liar, Maddie,” she said. “What’s going on?”

  “Yeah, I thought you liked Drew,” Fiona said.

  “What?” Madison cried. “You guys are making this stuff up. This is so not funny.”

  Aimee and Fiona giggled.

  “Oh, Maddie, chill out,” Aimee said.

  “You chill out,” Madison said.

  Fiona poked Madison in the arm. “No, you chill out!”

  “You guys! Quit it!” Madison said, throwing her arms into the air. “I’m going over to the computer stations….”

  “To see someone special?” Aimee teased.

  “Cut it out!” Madison cried.

  Someone in the next row over hissed, “Shhhhh!”

  “We better shut up,” Aimee said quickly. “Before Dad hears. He’s always saying how noisy I am….”

  Madison made a face and walked away without looking back, not even when she heard her BFFs giggling behind her. She passed by a table of cat and dog calendars and “New Fiction” on her way into the café part of the store.

  No sooner had she entered the “cyber” part of the store than she heard a voice yelling in her direction.

  “Yo, Finnster!”

  Madison gulped. Her girlfriends were this close to discovering the truth about Madison’s crush, and she kept bumping into him in the store. This was way too close for comfort.

  Madison looked over “Hey, Hart,” she said, without really looking into his eyes.

  “Find any more books?” Hart asked, running his fingers through his hair. He stood to the side of a computer terminal where Egg helmed the controls.

  “Maddie!” Egg shouted, way too loudly. “You have to help me!”

  Egg punched blindly at a bunch of keys. Hart just watched. Meanwhile, Dan and Chet sat at the next computer terminal checking out a NASCAR website.

  “What’s the address of the wedding page your dad did?” Egg asked.

  “Why do you want that?” Madison sighed. She’d nearly forgotten about Dad’s “We’re Getting Hitched!” webpage. “Oh, Egg. You don’t want to look at my dad’s stupid page,” Madison said.

  “Yeah, I do,” Egg replied. “Just tell me the address.”

  “His home page is his name,” Madison said.

  Egg typed it in. Up on the screen, Dad’s work logo appeared. Below a scrolling list of pages for his company, Madison saw the links “Invitation,” “Wedding Party,” and “Sign Our Guestbook.” In one corner was a small photo of Dad and Stephanie together. Egg clicked to enlarge it.

  “Whoa, who’s that?” Chet said, glancing over from his terminal.

  “My future stepmother,” Madison groaned as the now larger-than-life photo of Dad and Stephanie came into view.

  “She’s really pretty,” Chet said.

  “No kidding,” Egg said, giving Madison a teasing little punch in the side.

  She punched him right back—only harder.

  “Ouch!” Egg cried.

  “Your dad has a cool webpage,” Hart said.

  “He put a lot of new stuff up since you last showed it to me at the animal clinic,” Dan said.

  Madison cringed. Why were her friends looking at her dad’s webpage? Why couldn’t they flip back to NASCAR?

  The boys clicked on “Sign Our Guestbook.” A page with blanks to be filled in appeared. Egg typed in everybody’s name. Then he asked the group, “What should I type for a message?”

  “This is really dumb, Egg,” Madison said. She wanted to melt into the floor.

  “I know! Type in ‘Congrats, Mr. Finn,’” Dan suggested.

  Egg tapped out the words on the keyboard. He added: “From all of Maddie’s friends.”

  “That looks cool,” Chet said.

  Everyone agreed. Egg hit SEND.

  “What did you do that for?” Madison asked, sulking a little.

  “I don’t know,” Egg said. “Because it was there.”

  The other guys laughed. Madison bent over and hit the OFF key on the computer.

  “Hey!” Egg cried. “What did you do that for?”

  “We’re done here, right?” Hart said.

  “Let’s go get some of those free smoothies from Mr. Gillespie,” Chet suggested.

  “Yum,” Dan said, eager to have something to eat. Sometimes friends referred to Dan as the “garbage disposal” at school. He would eat anyone’s lunch leftovers, anytime.

  “I’ll go find Aimee and the others,” Madison said, turning away from the boys. She wanted out of there—fast!

  Luckily, the smoothies smoothed over any crabby moments, and the later afternoon delivered less embarrassment. At around three o’clock, the rain finally stopped. Egg convinced everyone to head down to Lake Dora to go swimming, even though the sky still looked cloudy.

  “Oh, I can’t go,” Madison said.

  Egg teased her. “Why not?” he complained. “You can’t just ditch us. Come on. You’re not mad about that webpage thing, are you?”

  “No. I have to finish getting ready for Texas,” Madison said. “Sorry.”

  “When are you leaving, again?” Dan asked.

  “Tomorrow,” Madison said.

  “I can’t believe you’re going so far away,” Fiona said, looking a little sad.

  “Give me a break,” Chet cracked to his twin sister. “You’re such a drama queen. She’s only going for a wedding.”

  “But the trip is five days,” Aimee corrected him. “And that is a long time.”

  “It’ll go fast,” Egg said.

  “I’ll miss you,” Fiona said, reaching out to embrace Madison.

  “Me, too,” Aimee said.

  Madison hugged her friends right back. “Me, three,” she said.

  “Gag me,” Chet moaned.

  Egg patted Madison on the back. “See you around, Maddie,” he said. “Say hi to your dad for me. For real.”

  “Yeah,” Dan chimed in.

  “Have a good trip, Finnster,” Hart said with a wave of his hand.

  “I will,” Madison said, unable to take her eyes off Hart’s tousled hair. For a split second, she had an overwhelming urge to throw her arms around him and give him a hug.

  But she resisted.

  Aimee handed Madison a blue-and-yellow envelope with little flowers along the edges.

  “Take this for the plane ride,” she said.

  “What is it?” Madison asked.

  Fiona beamed. “It’s a surprise,” she said. “From both of us. But you can’t read it until you get on the plane. Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  Madison glanced up at the wall clock over the store register. Mom would be coming by the store in a few minutes to take her home.

  “I’d better go,” Madison said.

  She raced out of the store and onto the slick streets outside. There, she stood by the glass doors of the Cyber Café waiting for Mom and fingering the blue-and-yellow envelope in her pocket.

  She inhaled deeply, breathing in the smell of rain and grass; she craned her neck and gazed up at the lightening sky.

  In one day, she would be in Texas, Madison thought.

  Wow.

  She reached out for the side of the building to keep from falling over. There was no Hart to grab her arm right now. Madison was on her own for the weekend—and for longer than that, she feared.

  In three days, Dad would be married all over again.

  If anything had ever felt as scary as the Big D, this was it.

  Chapter 8

  Flying

  The last time I was on a plane was when I traveled with Mom on one of her business tri
ps for Budge Films. She was making a movie and we went to this jungle. That was different. The bugs were HUGE. Right now I feel a little like I’m flying into another jungle. Why am I so nervous about this wedding?

  Dad is sitting across from me right now and we’re in this airport lounge/waiting room. Stephanie already flew to Texas a few days ago on her own so Dad keeps calling her on his cell. It is a little annoying b/c I wish he’d pay a little more attention to me, but I get it since it is his wedding and he’s thinking about her 24/7. He let me buy all these magazines at the newsstand so I forgive him.

  Not so good: I cheated BIG TIME and read Aimee and Fiona’s plane letter before getting on the plane. Bad Maddie! But they don’t have to know, right? I was dying to read it. The envelope was all crunched from being in my pocket. I have to write back to them now. Plus I have to write to Bigwheels too. I’ve been so busy that I have hardly checked my e-mail in the last day. I wonder if she wrote to me first? She probably thinks I dropped off the face of the Earth.

  Someone just came on the speaker to announce the pre-boarding of our flight to Houston. We already checked our luggage. I squeezed as much as I could into my suitcase so all I have to carry on the plane with me is secret wedding collage stuff (in case I want to work on it), the magazines, and my laptop of course that fits in my orange bag.

  I miss Mom and Phinnie already. Mom made me pancakes with smiley faces this morning. She still doesn’t seem upset about Dad getting married. How is that possible? Didn’t she love him a lot once? If I was married to someone for so long and then they married another person, I would be way upset. At least I think I would be.

  My head is all woozy right now.

  Rude Awakening: I feel like I’m flying and we haven’t even gotten on the plane yet.

  Dad gently tapped Madison on the shoulder.

  “That’s us, honey,” he said, grabbing his carry-on bags and garment case. “Ready?”

  Madison wanted to scream, “Ready? What, are you kidding me? Of course I’m not ready, Dad! Duh! What are you thinking?”

  But instead she stood up, too, grabbed her orange bag, and quietly followed Dad back into the main terminal, toward Gate B15. According to the flight supervisor, who spoke with a distinct Texas twang, Sky High Airlines had just commenced “general boarding for all passengers headed to the Lone Star State.” Her voice crackled over the loudspeaker.