Through The Woods

by Myers, Shannon

  “I realized you must be pretty damn special if every member of Charm’s group was willing to vouch for you. When the guys said he was claiming you—well, that just made everything concrete. I respect the hell out of Charm and he’s not a man to fuck with.”

  My chest tightened at the mention of his name and I wondered if they’d told him. If I ever woke up again, would he believe that I didn’t willingly use?

  The door opened and the men’s heads popped up expectantly as Blade calmly walked in. He was wearing a beanie over his hair, probably trying to cover up where Joker grazed him with the bullet. Axel and I were on our feet instantly. We shouldn’t have worried—he wasn’t able to see us either.

  “I came as soon as I heard,” he exclaimed.

  Rooster furrowed his brow. “And how the fuck did you hear about it? Where have you been? You were supposed to be following us down to the Springs.”

  I watched as his throat twitched slightly from nervousness. He’d waltzed into a pit of cobras, pretending to be a snake charmer, and I prayed that they’d see right through him and his lies. Unfortunately, he recovered before the others noticed. “Axel…I overheard him mention Neve and the plans he had for her. I tried to hang back and follow him, but I was too late. One of the others directed me here. Is she gonna make it?”

  Axel growled and lunged for Blade, falling right through him and onto the linoleum floor. “Motherfucker,” he screamed. He got right back up and began throwing punches, all of which easily passed through Blade’s body.

  It was at that point that the doctor walked in and looked around at the motley crew scattered throughout the waiting room. Axel gripped my shoulder in his hand and I held my breath, awaiting my fate.

  “I understand you’re here with the female patient…” He trailed off, waiting for someone to give him my name.

  Rooster stopped pacing. “Neve. Neve Ryan.”

  That was most certainly not my last name.

  The doctor nodded. “And you are?”

  Rooster pointed at Joker, conveniently leaving Blade out. “We’re her brothers. Her husband should be here in the next five—”

  The door flew open and Charm burst in, his eyes wild. “Where is she?”

  Rooster cleared his throat. “As I was just saying, here is her husband.”

  Charm grabbed the doctor by his forearms and began shaking him furiously. “I need to know if she’s alright! She has to be okay!”

  The doctor took a step back, clearly terrified of the hulking biker. “If you’ll just have a seat, Mr. Ryan. We’ve got Mrs. Ryan in ICU. Her lab work showed high amounts of cocaine and fentanyl in her system. Based on the lack of any visible puncture wounds, it’s my belief that the drugs were inhaled.

  “We noted some facial injuries and a couple of cracked ribs as well, but nothing that will require immediate treatment. We were able to get her heart back into a regular rhythm, but she isn’t breathing on her own, so she’s on a ventilator for now. We’ve got her mildly sedated in order to monitor the amount of oxygen she’s receiving and she’ll be weaned off periodically to try and get her to start breathing on her own.”

  Charm fell into one of the plastic chairs near Joker with a loud exhale. “She’d gotten clean—it doesn’t make sense. Where’d she get the drugs?”

  Blade stepped up to the doctor. “What happens if she doesn’t start breathing on her own?”

  That’d work out just peachy for him, wouldn’t it?

  The doctor looked back at Charm. “In the event she doesn’t respond to being off the vent, then she’s kept on it indefinitely until you make the decision to take her off.”

  Charm sprang up out the chair to confront the doctor once again. “What does that mean? What the fuck are you sayin’?”

  Rooster rubbed his hands back and forth across his eyes before answering, “It means we’d have to make a decision to keep her alive with a machine, or let her go.”

  Joker dropped his head back down and his shoulders shook with sobs, while Blade looked relieved at the prospect of me never waking up.

  And me?

  I tried to process what that would mean—to be stuck in a realm somewhere between life and death. To watch the people I loved most grieve for me, day in and day out.

  Charm pounded a fist against the wall above the doctor’s head. “That can’t happen. You do whatever you can to save her!”

  The doctor nodded shakily. “We are, I promise you. Mrs. Ryan did have Narcan in her system—whoever had the foresight to give her that may have saved her life.”

  Too bad the asshole who gave it to me only did it to get information before finishing me off for good.

  The men looked over at Joker, but he shook his head. Charm cleared his throat. “If you didn’t give her the Narcan, then who did?”

  Yes.

  I silently pleaded for them to put the pieces together, but it was a rhetorical question. They’d have no way of knowing where to even begin to look.

  After assuring the bikers that he would bring them up to see me soon, the doctor excused himself. The room was so quiet that each tick of the second hand from the clock on the wall was magnified.

  Maybe the doctor was used to treating the bikers—he hadn’t even questioned them about my injuries.

  Wasn’t that policy?

  Shouldn’t there have been cops swarming the place by now?

  “I can’t believe she went back to using,” Blade noted, and Rooster was out of his chair and on him in a second.

  He pinned him up against the wall, holding him in place by the throat. “Look, Dick Tracy. Do us all a favor and get the fuck out. You didn’t know shit about Neve. Don’t. You don’t know shit about her. Way I see it, we got bodies back at the clubhouse that tell a much different story. And last time I checked, your ass was missing from our little caravan down south.”

  He was already speaking about me in past tense; that didn’t bode well for me coming out of this.

  “Rooster,” Charm’s voice was monotone, as if it didn’t matter to him whether Blade lived or died.

  Rooster let go of his neck and cut-off before taking a step back. “Fuck this. I need a drink.”

  The door rattled as it slammed shut behind him and Blade soon made the excuse of checking on his club before leaving Charm and Joker alone. I looked around and realized that, at some point during the drama, Axel had disappeared.

  He’d gone over and left me behind. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Didn’t he have unfinished business? Weren’t spirits supposed to stay behind until it was resolved?

  “What’d I miss?”

  I jumped and clutched my chest. “Axel, what the hell? I thought you’d crossed over!”

  He smirked. “Nah, apparently, I get to see everyone’s reaction to me dying. Not gonna lie—seeing Amber break down was the cherry on top of the fuckin’ sundae. She’s regretting not moving in with me now.”

  I shook my head. “You’re happy that she’s distraught over your death? That’s sick. I adore Amber.”

  He pulled me into a side hug. “Ah, Neve. Think of it as getting to witness karma in action. I asked her to move in; she suddenly had to rethink our entire relationship.”

  I frowned. Amber hadn’t mentioned any of that to me. She and Axel had been high school sweethearts; ending things now made no sense. In all honesty, nothing in my life was making sense at the moment.

  He continued, “Now, what’s going on with the lying douchebag murderer? Did Charm kill him yet?”

  I shook my head and watched as Joker typed feverishly on his phone. A moment later, Charm’s phone dinged. He pulled it from his pocket and read it over before nodding.

  “One? You’re sure?”

  Joker nodded and held up one finger.

  “I can’t be certain, but I think that Joker just told Charm that there’s still someone out there who knows what really happened to me. Now, we wait and see how long it takes for the trail to lead back to Blade.”

  Axel stretched
his arms over his head and looked around the room. “Well, what better place to wait than a waiting—”

  I held my hand up. “Stop. That’s never going to be funny.”

  He rolled his eyes and sarcastically replied, “Get trapped with Neve in the afterlife, I said. It’ll be fun, I said.”

  Charm

  “Here we are, Mr. Ryan. See? She’s just sleeping.” The nurse patted me on the arm before stepping out and sliding the door shut behind her, leaving us alone.

  All the walls were made of glass and as I looked over at her, I couldn’t help but think that it looked as if she was lying in a glass coffin.

  It was Rae all over again, but Neve looked so much worse. Various tubes and wires ran from her body to a machine that was breathing for her. Her cheek was so swollen that it almost engulfed the lower part of her eye and the forehead that I had kissed more times than I could count was an angry shade of red. The nurse told me that they suspected she’d OD’ed and then fallen down the stairs, but the dead bodies back at the clubhouse made me think something else had gone down.

  Something I was absolutely going to get to the bottom of.

  “Christ.” I managed to croak as I moved around the bed, trying to get closer to her. “What the fuck happened, honey?” I lightly brushed the hair back off of her face with my hand before dropping to my knees on the linoleum floor. I would’ve given anything to have her sit up in bed and begin spouting off stupid facts.

  Hell, I would’ve even settled for a ‘that’s what she said’ joke.

  I found a chair in the corner and pulled it over to the bed with a loud scrape. I’d hoped the noise would jolt her awake, but she didn’t even move. She was just there; completely blank. I gently took her hand in mine and was struck by the realization of how small she was compared to me.

  She’d needed a protector and I hadn’t been there.

  I cleared my throat. She needed to hear that I was strong and not falling apart. “They said I should talk to you—because people in comas can still hear what’s going on around them.” My voice cracked and I rubbed at my eyes. “Well, I need you to hear me, honey. I need you to wake up and tell me what happened. Tell me who did this to you so I can fuckin’ end them.”

  I brushed away the rogue tears on my cheeks and pressed a soft kiss to the back of her hand. “I know we ain’t talked about this, but when Rae—passed, I swore I’d find out who supplied her. It was damn near impossible to do though—I just kept hitting dead ends. Then, I overheard Luck talking on the phone one day. And I realized that he knew who killed Rae—he knew and he was fuckin’ apologizing to the bastard for it. Something about receiving the message and pulling out of this asshole’s territory.

  “Rae was collateral for shit he got into and, as much as I wanted to interrupt his conversation by emptying my gun into his body, I knew the club would side with him. So, I took my time—I started at the bottom and watched it ripple into full-blown lawlessness. By the time I was done, there wasn’t a single brother that didn’t see Luck for what he truly was—a monster who’d fuckin’ sacrifice his family to get what he wanted.”

  I paused and stared down at our hands joined together. I’d written some of it down, but I’d never been able to fully express what had happened back then. Seeing her like this left me with an overwhelming urge to confess it all. I tucked my lip between my teeth as I went to war with the demons in my mind all over again. For her. So she’d know the kind of man I was.

  “Once I knew the club was on my side, I put my old man in the ground. I made sure he knew, as he knelt before me, that all of it was for Rae. He never would say who killed her though—said he’d tell me when we met in Hell. I did what I could by pulling the club out of everything—said we’d focus solely on the fact that SSMC owned half of Kasselhessen. We’d go straight and get by just fine, I thought.

  “Well, lo and behold, I didn’t know shit. Members began defecting to other chapters and clubs, while I was still trying to get the fucking club back into the black. It turned out that I was one unlucky son-of-a-bitch. So, we got back into runnin’ semi-autos—it kept us under the radar of every fuckin’ alphabet agency around. The money we made got pooled between the businesses we owned and everybody got rich.”

  Thinking about it almost made me smile. Wet behind the ears didn’t even begin to cover it—I guess I always thought that if I got rid of the whores and drugs, we’d automatically turn into a respectable club. Luck had been right when he told me the town relied upon us.

  I’d scratched their back, and in return, they were always willing to keep an eye on Neve. That was just it—she’d go into town, but never once had she done anything that led me to believe she was going to relapse. Amber kept her busy, but even on the days when she was alone, Neve seemed more interested in just getting to know the town’s history.

  Back then, I told myself it meant nothing, but it was impossible not to see that she’d been falling in love with the town while I was falling in love with her.

  I couldn’t believe that she’d just throw away her sobriety—not after everything we’d been through. I never wanted the position of Prez, but I’d use that power to find out who put her here. No matter the cost.

  I sniffed and rubbed at my eyes again. As much as I didn’t want to believe it, I was pouring my heart out to a woman who may have already gone on. “I told you that because I’m not a good man, Neve. I ain’t ever gonna be on the right side of the law—I’ve killed and as soon as I find out who did this to you, I’ll do it again. There’s so much blood on my hands that they ain’t ever fully clean, and if the feds ever catch on, we’re looking at a mile-long list of charges. The thing is, I’ve loved two women in my life—you and Rae; and I don’t fuckin’ deserve you. I’m an outlaw and I don’t think I could make up for the shit I’ve done in a million lifetimes, but I want to keep you here all the same.

  “Baby, I’d gladly go through nine circles of Hell to get you back—even if it meant taking your place. I’d petition every god around to retrieve you from the underworld. See, I ain’t ever been good at running a club. Then you come along, and suddenly everything starts to go my way. You’re my lucky charm, honey and I’m keeping you forever.”

  I let out a quiet sob, but held my fist to my mouth until it passed. Now, more than ever, she needed me to fight for her.

  The door slid open and Gunner walked in, sucking air between his teeth when his eyes landed on her. “Fuck—give me a name and it’s done, Prez.”

  I pressed another kiss to the back of her hand and stood up. “I need you to stay with her for me—don’t let her out of your sight. Joker says that Neve was able to tell him there was one more before—before she—” I clenched my jaw to rein in my emotions.

  Gunner reached out and gripped my shoulder tightly. “I got this—nobody is coming against her with us here. I swear it.”

  I wanted to thank him; to tell him that I trusted him with not only my life, but hers as well. Instead, I mashed my lips together and settled for a nod. Content that she was safe for the time being, I left Gunner sitting in the chair by her side and headed out into the hallway.

  I just needed a minute.

  I found a door marked stairs and slipped inside, sinking down onto one of the cold concrete steps with a guttural roar. My sobs echoed off the walls, each one reopening my chest a little more. I hadn’t cried like this since I lost Rae. Any moment now, my heart was going to break free and fall onto the floor.

  I’d already buried my sister. If Neve didn’t pull through, I doubted that I’d make it much longer. The door opened behind me and I worked to compose myself.

  “Charm?” Blade closed the door and I let out a heavy sigh. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone’s shit right now. I had this uncontrollable desire to stand up and take my grief out on his face.

  “The fuck do you want, Blade?” I bit out, refusing to turn around.

  He took another step closer and I fought the urge to launch myself at him, knowing it
was an unwarranted attack on a fellow club member. I needed his club and the numbers; pissing him off now would destroy everything we’d worked toward.

  “I was going to volunteer to sit with Neve if you wanted to head back to the clubhouse. I know you’ve got a shitload of work to be done.”

  I instantly shook my head. I trusted Neve with only seven other men and despite the oath he pledged to my MC, I didn’t want him near her. “Work? I’m stayin’ here. Doc’s runnin’ things back home and, as soon as he gets shit squared away, he’ll be up here too. Now, you wanna tell me how you ended up at my clubhouse right after it happened? You were supposed to be with me.”

  Blade had a great poker face; it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. “I overheard Axel mention something about Neve a few nights ago on the phone to someone—”

  I’d already heard about that from Rooster, but it didn’t settle with me. Axel was someone I’d known most of my life; even before he became a prospect, I never would’ve pegged him as the violent type. And what had been done to my girl most definitely spoke of violence.

  “And you never thought about reaching out to me about that shit? I never would’ve left her had I been made aware that someone was after her. And Axel? He’s been with her from day one. Why now? Why wouldn’t he have made his move months ago?” My voice remained calm, but my hands remained clenched at my sides, as if I was expecting a fight to break out at any second.

  “What the fuck was I supposed to say to you? Huh? That Axel might’ve been planning something to do with your bitch or he could’ve simply been noting how great her tits looked in the dress she wore at the gathering—”

  I had him pinned up against the wall before the sentence was even finished. “You talk about her like that again and any alliance we have is fuckin’ done. You hear me, motherfucker?”

  My words came out in a growl as rage pushed me past the point of rationality, begging me to end him right here in this stairwell.