A Child Claimed by Gold
Page 15
‘You made that more than clear from the very beginning.’ Still she stood there in the middle of the bridge, looking at him with fierce determination. She didn’t even notice a couple walking across the bridge towards him. Her gaze didn’t leave his face for one second.
He had done exactly that; there was no denying he’d made it absolutely clear he didn’t want love. Such a denial was what had kept him safe. It meant he’d never have to give a piece of himself to someone who could use it and destroy him emotionally—something Emma had had the power to do from the moment they’d first met. As a teenager he’d spoken just once about his father to his mother and she had confessed she’d loved him when they’d first met, before he’d shown his true self. From that moment on he’d vowed to keep such destructive emotions as love locked away.
He couldn’t do that any longer. He had to acknowledge them and set them free, even if Emma did have the power to destroy him. If she didn’t feel the same burning love for him, then he would be nothing, but he couldn’t just tell her, not when he wanted her to be happy—with or without him. If she truly loved someone else, then he would have to let her go. It shook him to the core to realise he loved her enough to do that, enough to set her free into the arms of another man.
He thought back to their discussion on love, to the day she’d laughed at such a notion existing. It had been that denial of what she’d truly wanted that had forged the path forward for them.
‘You made a joke out of love and happiness. You scorned it as much as I did, Emma.’ He took several tentative steps closer, encouraged when she didn’t move, didn’t turn and walk away. Inside, his heart was breaking. He was a mess, but he kept his stern control, retaining that ever-present defensive shield.
‘I can understand why you want to shut love out of your life, Nikolai, but the things I experienced as a child made me want that kind of happiness even more.’ She took a step towards him and hope soared inside him. ‘We want different things. You want to be free of commitment and emotion, but I want love, Nikolai.’
Those last words goaded him harder than he could have imagined, pushing him to ask just what he needed to know, even though the answer would be like a knife in his newly revealed heart. ‘And does Richard give you that love?’
‘Richard?’ Emma’s mind whirled in shock. Why did Richard have anything to do with this? She struggled to think, struggled to work out how he’d come to that conclusion, and then it hit her as she remembered their afternoon on the river trip. She’d taken a call from Richard and had been so happy the article was out and that he liked it, approved of what she’d done, but Nikolai’s mood had darkened the instant she’d told him who was on the phone. She’d thought he was angry with her, but was it something more? Had he felt threatened by Richard, even though he’d been on the phone?
That wretched flicker of hope flared to life within her once more and kept her where she was. She looked at Nikolai, standing now at the end of Bow Bridge, as if to continue to walk towards her was something he couldn’t do.
‘Do you love him, Emma? Is he the man you are leaving to go back to?’ Nikolai’s voice was hoarse with heavy emotion in a way she’d never heard before.
She blinked at him in total shock. He seriously thought she was in love with Richard? You used to, before he rejected that young love and adoration. The taunt echoed in her head and she saw it from Nikolai’s perspective. She saw the easy friendship she and Richard had established over the last few years, saw how it might look to someone on the outside. But, like Nikolai, Richard had made it more than clear he didn’t want anything serious, squashing that first crush until it withered and died, leaving nothing but friendship—a working friendship.
‘Richard and I are just friends. Always have been.’ She frowned at the scowl which crossed his face. Did such a reaction really mean he saw Richard as a threat? But to what—their marriage born out of a deal or something more?
‘But that isn’t what you want, is it, Emma? You told me as much on the boat.’
‘I did?’
‘“It hurts like hell to feel anything for someone who feels nothing for you”. Those were your exact words, Emma.’ He calmly repeated what she’d told him, his dark eyes watching every move she made, every breath she took.
Emma’s knees almost buckled beneath her and she moved to the side of the bridge, clutching at the ornate balustrades for support. She’d been talking about him, not Richard, but he’d interpreted it as something quite different. No wonder he’d become distant to the point of coldness since that day. The closeness they’d begun to share, which she’d hoped would give rise to love, had vanished—because of what she’d said.
Waves of nausea rushed over her and her head swam. She couldn’t think any more, could barely stand. She hadn’t eaten anything yet, too anxious earlier to face anything, and now it was all too much. She couldn’t do this now.
She felt as though she was falling then strong arms folded around her as Nikolai wrapped her in the safety of his embrace. To feel his arms around her, holding her against his body, was almost unbearable. It was like coming home—and it broke her heart a little bit more.
‘You’re not well.’ The deep, seductive timbre of his voice radiated through her and she closed her eyes, allowing herself a brief moment in the haven of his embrace.
‘Maybe we can talk later.’ She clutched at the lifeline the moment had given her, not wanting to have this discussion any more. It was bad enough that he didn’t love her, that he was about to reject her, but to accuse her of loving Richard was too much.
‘No, we talk now—or not at all.’ She looked up into his dark eyes and saw myriad emotions swirling in them, emotions she’d never seen in them before. ‘It’s your choice, Emma.’
She didn’t want to talk now, didn’t feel well enough to think, let alone talk, but she couldn’t walk away and say nothing. Not when he held her so gently and looked at her so longingly. Was it possible he did feel something for her? Could it ever be love?
She needed to make herself clear, to let him know how wrong he’d got it all. She looked up at his handsome face, fighting the urge to reach up and touch his cheek, feel the smoothness of his freshly shaven face. ‘It wasn’t Richard I was talking about that day.’
* * *
Nikolai had moved quickly, taking Emma in his arms, holding her against him before she’d slithered completely to the floor. He’d inhaled her sweet scent, felt the warmth of her body, and his senses had exploded despite the worry he had for her health. How had he not seen it before? How could he not have known he loved her?
Because you shut your heart away.
She leant against the balustrade and looked up at him, as if waiting for him to say something, expectation mingling with desperation in her eyes. She’d just spoken, as his mind had whirled and his body had gone into overdrive just from holding her. Whatever it was she’d said, she obviously expected a response, but his ability to think rationally had left him the moment he’d held her.
‘What did you just say?’ he asked gently, unable to resist the urge to brush her hair from her face and then stroke the silky length of it down her back.
She looked up at him, tears beginning to brim in her eyes. ‘I said that it wasn’t Richard. When I said that on the boat, it wasn’t him I was talking about.’
His hand stilled at her back and he held his breath, willing her to say more, but she looked down, her head dipping against his chest. If it wasn’t Richard, who was it that didn’t love her in the way she loved him? Had she been referring to him? Was it possible she loved him?
‘Emma,’ he said and lifted her chin forcing her look up at him. ‘Have you ever told that person you love them?’
Still he couldn’t say that he loved her, couldn’t admit his deepest emotion. She searched his face, her gaze flicking over every part of him, as if committing him to her memory in the same way a camera did at the touch of a button.
She shook her head. ‘It’s not what he
wants to hear. He doesn’t believe love exists—at least, not for him. I could never tell him. I just can’t.’
There was nothing else to do. He had to prove he loved her by telling her right now just how much. He had to risk having got it wrong, risk making a fool of himself. If he didn’t tell her he loved her now, he’d lose her for ever.
‘Maybe he just has to tell you,’ he said as he looked deep into her eyes, the tears now dissolved and hope glowing from them. ‘Maybe he needs to be bold and admit something he’d never thought possible.’
‘Maybe he does,’ she said as she watched his lips, as if willing him to say it, and his heart began to thump hard with trepidation.
He took a deep breath and swallowed, trying to instil calm into his body. This was the one thing he thought he’d never say. ‘I love you, Emma Sanders. Completely and utterly.’
She closed her eyes, her body relaxed in his embrace and he couldn’t resist her any longer. The temptation to kiss her was too much and he lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers. The soft sigh which escaped her did untold things to his body, but passion and desire could wait. This was a kiss of love.
* * *
Emma sighed as Nikolai kissed her, so tenderly it almost made her cry. He loved her. It wasn’t only that he’d told her, but it was the way he was kissing her which proved it more than anything else. This kiss was different. It wasn’t hot and filled with lustful desire that stoked the fire of passion within her. This kiss was very different. It was gentle and, more importantly, it was loving.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, finally allowing all the love she felt to pour from her. He stopped kissing her and pressed his forehead to hers, the gesture so unguarded emotionally she couldn’t say what she wanted to say for a moment.
‘I thought you didn’t want love.’ She smiled, her voice teasing and light.
‘That was before I met you. Everything changed the moment you stepped off that train in Vladimir.’ His eyes were so tender, so filled with love, it was heart-rending and his voice broke with intense huskiness that sent a wave of pleasure breaking over her.
She closed her eyes and revisited the memory of the day they’d met, but even more importantly the knowledge that he had felt something for her from the moment they had met seeped into her. It had been no different for her. There had been something between them from that very first moment at the station in Vladimir, and he’d admitted that had turned to love even before she’d been carrying his child. That could mean only one thing.
‘So our child was conceived out of love, Nikolai.’ She breathed the words against his lips as he once more claimed them in a deep and meaningful kiss, his hands holding her face as if he couldn’t bear not to kiss her.
Around her life went on: voices of people in the park, the ripple of the water beneath them and birds singing their joy of spring all blended into the most perfect backdrop for the moment the man she loved with all her heart confessed his love for her.
As he pulled back from her, she let her palms slide down to his chest, feeling the beat of his heart beneath her right palm, a heart which was filled with love for her. He’d had the courage to admit his love even though he’d been convinced she was going to walk away from him. How had she got it all so wrong?
‘I love you, Nikolai Cunningham—with all my heart.’ She smiled up at him as he smiled back at her, then kissed her tenderly, his lips gentle and loving. She wanted to melt into the moment, enjoy the kiss, but she needed him to know how much his words meant to her. She pushed against his body and pulled away from him, away from the temptation to deepen the kiss.
‘You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that. The thought that you were in love with another man has been eating me up for days.’ His deep, sexy voice held a hint of seriousness and she knew it had been hard for him to talk about his feelings, no matter what they were.
‘Is that why you really moved out of the apartment?’ she asked as shyness crept over her. ‘I thought you wanted me out of your life.’
‘Like your father? No, Emma, that will never happen. I figured I needed all the luck I could get after what Jess had said, so didn’t want to tempt fate by flouting tradition. I knew even then I couldn’t risk losing you, but I was too blinded by my past to realise why—that I’d fallen in love with you.’
‘Really?’ She looked up at him to see amusement sparkling in his eyes, mixing with the newly acknowledged love.
‘Yes, but I also wanted you and Jess to have time to catch up and have girl chats about me.’ The laughter in his voice was contagious; she laughed softly and when he stroked her hair back from her face she almost melted all over again.
Then what he’d said finally registered and embarrassment flooded her. ‘You heard us talking?’
How much had he heard? She recalled telling Jess she loved him with all her heart, and she’d meant it, but they wouldn’t be here like this, with the worry of the last few days behind them, if he had truly heard what she and Jess had spoken about.
‘Only a little bit,’ he said and his brows rose, his eyes filling with that sexy amusement that had captured her heart in the first place.
‘Well, you obviously didn’t hear the part where I told Jess I loved you so much that it almost hurt; that marrying you was what I wanted to do,’ she said with an impish smile on her lips, taunting him mercilessly.
The humour left his face. ‘No, I didn’t hear that, but it could have saved me a lot of heartache if I had.’
She laughed softly, wanting to lighten the mood. ‘I’d much rather just tell you myself.’
‘In that case, don’t let me stop you.’ He pulled her against him once more and pressed his lips briefly to hers.
‘I love you, Nikolai, so very much, I just want to marry you. Today.’
‘Is that so?’ he teased. ‘In that case, you are in luck; I have everything planned for a perfect wedding for the woman I love.’
She looked at her watch and let out a shocked gasp. ‘I have to go now. The man I love with all my heart is going to make me his wife and the happiest woman alive. I just hope he’ll be there waiting for me.’
‘I have every faith that he will be, because he’s madly in love with you.’
EPILOGUE
EMMA PULLED ON an elegant black gown and looked at her reflection. The last time she’d studied herself so intensely had been the day she’d tried on her wedding dress. Now, over a year later, she was a mother to a beautiful little boy and so happy the doubts she’d had in the days before her wedding seemed like a bad dream.
‘As ever, you look amazing, Mrs Cunningham.’ Nikolai kissed the back of her neck and looked into the mirror at her. The usual flood of love for him filled her and she smiled back at him as he continued to compliment her. ‘It will be an honour to escort you to the ballet tonight.’
A quiver of apprehension ran through her as she thought of Jess being given a chance to dance as the lead ballerina so early in her career. ‘I hope Jess isn’t too nervous. This is her first leading role.’
‘And what better place than here in Russia, at its greatest school? She is the rising star of the company. She will have a wonderful life.’ Nikolai’s reassurance helped to quell the nerves she had for Jess and she knew he was right.
Emma still couldn’t believe that Jess was now halfway through her training and already other ballet companies were interested in offering her a place. She had the world at her feet. It was more than she could ever have hoped for her baby sister.
‘I do wish we could have brought Nathan.’ Emma turned to Nikolai, wrapping herself into his embrace.
‘He is just fine with his grandma.’ Nikolai kissed her gently—stirring sensations she couldn’t allow to take over moments before they were due to leave the hotel. She blamed it on how amazingly sexy Nikolai was in a tuxedo.
‘But it’s the first time we’ve left New York without him.’ She smiled as his brows rose in a suggestive way, hinting at
the plans he had to fill that time without a six-month-old baby making demands on their attention.
‘Which is precisely why I intend to take full advantage of the fact. Once we’ve seen Jess in her starring role, I intend to bring you back to this room and that very large bed. I want to make love to you all night, just to make sure you know exactly how much and how completely I love you.’
‘Is that wise?’ Emma teased as she kissed his freshly shaven cheek, not daring to press her lips to his.
‘What makes you ask that?’ His eyes darkened with desire and an answering heat scorched inside her.
She shrugged nonchalantly. ‘You know what happened last time we made love in Russia...’
‘This time will be different,’ he said as he kissed the back of her neck. She watched him in the mirror until she had to close her eyes against the pleasure.
‘In what way?’ she asked in a teasing voice.
‘This time you will know how much I love you with each and every kiss.’
She turned in his arms and looked up into his handsome face, hardly able to believe how happy she was. ‘Everything you do for me, Nikolai, shows me that—from bringing me here to see Jess dance, to supporting me with my photography. I couldn’t be happier.’
‘But I’d still like to show you,’ he said softly.
‘Then who am I to argue?’ She laughed up at him.
Nikolai looked down at her, a seriousness brushing away the humour of moments ago. ‘You are my wife, the mother of my son and the woman I love with all my heart.’
* * * * *
EXCLUSIVE EXTRACT
Even unsentimental Alessandro Di Sione can’t deny his grandfather’s dream of retrieving a scandalous painting. Yet its return depends on outspoken Princess Gabriella. Travelling together to locate the painting, Gabby is drawn to this guilt-ridden man. Could their passion be his salvation?