Adrenalize

by Trina M. Lee

  Leave it to drugs and alcohol to get someone in the mood for spilling the truth. I wasn’t interested. Waving him off, I sat down at the little table with my drink and scrolled through my phone. Checking the festival hashtags, I began to relax when I remembered why we were here. Chasing a dream would come with challenges. Unfortunately, that included those of the douchebag kind. We couldn’t afford any distractions, and Blue wasn’t worth another thought.

  The bus felt surprisingly peaceful. Aside from the Hollywood action movie blaring out of the twin television sets, being able to sit there enjoying a drink in an almost empty bus felt nice after the hectic few days we’d had already.

  At least it did until the door opened and Rowen stepped in with not just one groupie in tow but two. I froze with my drink in hand halfway to my lips. Acting as the friendly host, he ushered the women inside and offered them a drink before continuing on to the back lounge. Without so much as a glance in my direction.

  Dumbfounded, I forced myself to take a drink and continued to tap my phone screen as if I couldn’t care less what Rowen was up to. Knowing that Paul watched for my reaction, I fought especially hard not to have one. On the inside I was a rumbling volcano.

  I could leave. But that would only tell Rowen himself how much it bothered me. He was a grown-ass man entitled to do whatever he wanted. That didn’t mean I wanted to listen to it.

  Paul lit up a joint and stood up to pass it to me. “I know you don’t give a shit what I think, but Rowen was a dumbass to let you go. Especially to a douche like Arrow.”

  Accepting the offering, I ignored his remark and took a long drag. I hoped like hell that Arrow was on his way to the bus right now. Not once since I’d fallen for Arrow had I questioned my choice or thought I’d picked the wrong brother. Rowen’s behavior on this tour so far only served to confirm what I’d already known. But being over him didn’t mean being unaffected by him. If only.

  I passed the joint back to Paul, studying him a bit closer when a streak of gray in his hair caught my eye. Was that new? I honestly didn’t pay close enough attention to Paul to know for sure.

  Once he finished his pizza, Paul staggered to his bunk and passed out. Chase wasn’t far behind. It was about that time the noise from the back lounge started in full. I moved to one of the couches and channel surfed until I found a rerun of Friends. If Arrow didn’t get his ass back here soon, I was going to hunt him down. My text message went unanswered, so I knew he was in party mode. Who wasn’t?

  More than once I wanted to flee the bus. Knowing what went on back there turned my stomach. If this was Rowen’s way of getting back at me for last night, then things were worse off between us than I’d realized.

  It was late. People would start returning to the bus soon. I grabbed a shower while I could, using those precious few minutes to drown out Rowen’s threesome. Everything about it made my skin crawl. I wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t mine. But I wasn’t thrilled to have a front row seat to Rowen’s downward spiral. The hard partying, the constant hooking up, it just wasn’t him.

  After a much too short shower due to the incredibly limited water supply, I stayed crammed in the tiny bathroom to towel dry my hair. The sound of the back lounge door sliding open was loud in the otherwise quiet bus. Giggling and hushed female whispers followed as the groupies were escorted out.

  When I emerged from the cramped bathroom, Rowen stood at the counter, mixing himself a drink and eating an apple. He didn’t need another drink. His amber eyes revealed that he’d reached the limit of his safe zone and flown right past it several drinks ago. Rowen was on autopilot now.

  Turning with a drink in hand, he took in the sight of me dressed in sweatpants and a tank top, my damp hair tumbling over my shoulders. And I saw it flash across his face before he could stop it. Regret.

  “The tour is going pretty good so far, don’t you think? I know we’re only a few days in, but I think it’s going well.” Rowen’s attempt to make small talk was more of an insult than the show he’d just put on in the back of the bus.

  Unable to keep myself from spilling a little Jack Daniels-fueled truth, I said, “Well it certainly seems to be going pretty damn well for you, isn’t it?”

  My face burned suddenly with the stupidity of what I’d just said. Being trapped on a bus with my ex was proving to be more of a challenge than I’d thought it would be. Drop a demon in my path. No problem. But this mortal coil emotional entanglement shit I could do without. Or at least I’d like to think so.

  I plopped down on one of the two couches, checking the phone I’d left there for messages. Finally something. A sloppy, misspelled text claiming he couldn’t stand to be away from me a moment longer.

  “Two of them didn’t even begin to compare to one of you.” Rowen’s drunken claim hung there between us, reminding me of just how very small this bus really was.

  Aghast, I turned to look at him. Had he lost his ever-loving mind? Who just says that?

  “Is that supposed to be a compliment? Am I supposed to feel flattered?” My temper simmered, ready to boil. Clenching the back of the couch, I gripped it tight if only to keep myself from getting up and slapping him. “Or is it jealousy you’re after? See, I’m not sure what reaction you want from me, Rowen, but it seems quite clear that you want one.”

  “I miss you,” he snapped, suddenly vicious. “You can’t blame me for trying to fill the void you left behind. It’s not my fault that we have to watch each other move on. But at least I’m not doing your best friend.”

  Low blow. Alcohol and close quarters can really bring out the worst in people.

  “Am I supposed to feel guilty because I fell for Arrow? You ended it between us, Rowen. It doesn’t matter what your reason was at the time, you still did it. If you’re not happy with where it led us, that’s on you, not me.” My hands shook with adrenaline. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to hear him say that he missed me.

  Rowen sighed heavily, chasing it with his drink. He stared into the plastic cup, like he searched it for answers. “Can you honestly tell me that you don’t miss me at all?”

  Answering a question like that could be incredibly dangerous. That’s why he’d asked it. I knew better than to go there.

  With a shake of my head, I tucked my hair behind an ear, finding it hard to meet his gaze. “Rowen, don’t.”

  Before either of us could speak further, the door opened, and Arrow burst in like a one-man wild party. Drunk off his ass, he didn’t take note of the grim energy tainting the atmosphere. I found myself relieved.

  “Damn, angel girl. The only good thing about being away from you is coming back.” Arrow threw himself down on the couch next to me and dragged me into his embrace. His affection was drunken and a little handsy, but it was genuine and just for me.

  I leaned into him, needing to feel him now more than ever. We didn’t get the back lounge tonight, and after Rowen’s latest dalliance, I didn’t want it. Some couch cuddle time would have to be enough.

  “Being away from you means putting up with entitled male bullshit. Like Blue fucking Monroe. World class slime bag.” I had the attention of both brothers with that.

  Arrow and Rowen listened while I recounted my two experiences with Blue. When I finished they exchanged a look.

  “So the obvious solution here is to go drag him out of his bus and kick his ass until he’s unrecognizable.” Nothing about Arrow’s tone indicated humor. He wasn’t the kind of guy who shied away from violence when it came to protecting himself or those he loved.

  Because he was usually the voice of reason, I expected Rowen to counter that with a more peaceful response. But he surprised me by crushing his cup in an angry grasp, flinging it into the garbage with a sinister, “Unrecognizable? Hell, they won’t even find what’s left of him.”

  Although I didn’t need them to protect me, their shared desire to do so touched me in a way that felt both right and wrong. What it came down to was that we had to protect each other. Personal dra
ma aside, that’s what came first.

  “Nobody is killing Blue Monroe.” I glanced between them to be sure they knew I was serious. Not that I expected either of them to actually murder the guy. Still one could never be too careful when alcohol and rage was involved. “Trust me, I’d love to set the jerk on fire, but we have rules to play by.”

  “You said he’s known for this shit,” Rowen pointed out, averting his gaze when Arrow brazenly lifted my hair and kissed the back of my neck. “Someone has to do something about it, or he’ll never stop.”

  Arrow held me against him like he couldn’t get close enough and showered me with drunken cocaine kisses. “No fucking way is he getting off scot free after laying hands on my girl. Blue Monroe might think he’s big shit now, but I’m going to destroy him.”

  I squirmed a little in an attempt to loosen Arrow’s hold. I was keenly aware of Rowen crawling with discomfort. And though he may have forced me to feel that same discomfort, he’d been right about one thing. Those girls were nobody to him and they meant nothing. While everyday he had to watch me love his brother.

  “Drunk talk,” I teased, trying to defuse the situation. “Let’s sleep on it and revisit this topic in the sober light of day. Don’t forget, we don’t have the luxury of acting on impulse like everyone else here.”

  Because we weren’t like everyone else. We weren’t human, and making the mistake of acting like we were could bring down all kinds of trouble upon us. After all, we were here to prove we could chase a human dream while living an otherworldly life.

  Arrow pulled me tight against his chest and rested his chin on my shoulder, staring at Rowen. They seemed to have already decided that Blue wouldn’t leave the tour unscathed.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  THE FOLLOWING WEEK was a wash, rinse, repeat cycle of sleepless nights, busy days, and a never ending to-do list. Once we got into the daily routine, each day got a little easier. Sleeping on the bus still proved difficult. I didn’t think I would ever get used to it.

  We’d made our way through California into Nevada. Tonight we played Denver before heading back toward Canada.

  I’d seen Blue around of course, but he’d made no effort to talk to me. I suspected Arrow and Rowen had confronted him. Neither of them would confirm it in so many words, but I knew them both pretty well. They couldn’t keep that kind of thing from me.

  The girls and I had taken to the stage in front of an exuberant midafternoon crowd. Hot and sweaty, the audience was a growing sea of fans and rock music lovers.

  Well, most of them anyway.

  It wasn’t uncommon for us to encounter guys who didn’t think women belonged in rock. So when a guy near the front shouted, “you suck,” at the end of a song, I just shook my head.

  Not Jett.

  She’d been feistier than usual lately. The moon was growing. She often grew edgy and irritable around this time, especially if she hadn’t been shifting much. Before we set out on this trip, I’d asked her how she planned to handle the full moon on the road. Jett felt confident that she could control herself until she managed to steal a few minutes alone to shift. Letting the wolf out was a big deal when the moon was full. We did get the occasional opportunity to slip away, but more often than not we were playing within city limits. Not exactly wolf friendly.

  Jett drew attention to the heckler. “Looks like this joker thinks he can do a better job than us. Who wants to see him give it a try?”

  Naturally the crowd erupted into enthusiastic cheers. The guy in question lifted both middle fingers and shouted, “Fuck you, bitch.”

  Bad move. Jett dropped the mic and was off the stage in a blink. There wasn’t much we could do. So we kept playing. Even when Jett landed on the guy and took him down with perfectly timed wolf precision. Security moved to intervene, but they were on the outside trying to wade into the middle of the crowd where Jett rained down punches.

  This wasn’t the first time Jett had lost it on a heckler. Guaranteed it wouldn’t be the last. Unfortunately, we didn’t have a tour riding on our good behavior before. This close to the moon, there was no telling how far she would go.

  I stopped playing, searching the crowd for Sam, Rowen, or Arrow. Anyone who could get in there and stop her from taking this too far. Seeing nothing and nobody, I dropped my guitar unceremoniously onto the stage and jumped into the crowd behind my best friend.

  People were shouting and shoving. I had to use a few moves Cinder taught me to get bodies out of my path. I reached Jett before the security reached us.

  Grabbing her arm, adrenaline fueled me as I pulled her off the guy, using her own thrashing to spin her away. With a low, guttural growl, she raised a hand to take a swing at the person keeping her from her prey, stopping only when she saw that it was me. Her eyes flashed wolf for just a moment.

  “Jett, stop. You’re going to kill somebody.” I tried to usher her back toward the stage, but we were caught in the crowd. Security reached us and escorted both Jett and the heckler out of the mass of people. We were so screwed.

  We were allowed to finish our set. But when we were done, Jordan and one of the tour organizers waited for us backstage. They gave us a warning, which came as a great relief to me. I had feared the worst. Jett apologized, but it seemed pretty clear to everyone present that she wasn’t really sorry. I couldn’t help but worry about how much more volatile Jett’s temperament would grow the longer she restrained the wolf in the face of the full moon.

  “Fuck, I’m sorry, girls,” Jett said when we’d been set free from Jordan’s reading of the riot act. “I should know better than to let those assholes set me off so easily.”

  “Don’t slash my throat for asking, but are you sure the full moon won’t be a problem?” Searching her deep brown eyes, I found both woman and wolf looking back at me. During the early stages of our friendship, Jett had frightened me when she got like this. She still did, only now I understood it better and felt more prepared to deal with not just the woman but the beast as well.

  We stood between a few radio and YouTube broadcaster tents. The afternoon faded into early dusk. Arrow and I were asked to do an interview together for a popular rock channel. It felt a little strange, but any opportunity to promote my band was an opportunity worth taking. I glanced around for Arrow. I wondered if he’d caught the show.

  “I’m fine, Spike. I just need to go for a run. An hour. That’s it.” Her gaze darted about frantically like a caged animal seeking the way out.

  We were in the middle of a major city. Like most cities I figured it had nature zones where one could get furry for a time. But we didn’t have a lot of time to venture far from the bus.

  I whipped my phone out and turned to Google for a map of the city. “What time does our bus leave? Do we have the whole night? Maybe if we can just find a safe place for you to run.”

  “Don’t worry about me, girl, seriously. It won’t be the first time I’ve had to hide the wolf during a moon. I might throw a few more punches, but I’ll be fine. It’s cool.” With a hand tipped in deep-red painted nails filed into slight points, Jett waved me off.

  She didn’t want the attention. If I knew Jett, and I did, she was probably mortified inside about what had happened, knowing the wolf was the cause. She prided herself on how easy she made being a shifter look. I knew it hadn’t always been that way for her. And I couldn’t help but worry for her now.

  Before I could press her further there was a warm touch on my back. I turned to find Arrow. He gave me one of those lazy smiles I loved so much. A real one, not the fake one I saw him turn on others.

  “Here we all thought Molly’s Chamber would get the first warning,” Arrow laughed. “Nice job, ladies. Jett, always entertaining. I imagine there are at least fifty different versions of that scrap going up on YouTube as we speak.”

  I knew Jett really wasn’t feeling it when she didn’t even muster a retort. A double middle finger was the best she could do, which didn’t go far with a guy like Arrow. That wasn’t l
ike her.

  Slipping my hand into Arrow’s, I led him away with a small wave at the girls. “Don’t give Jett a hard time right now. We’ve got a full moon coming up.”

  “Oh shit. Is that what that was? I thought demons would be the problem. Not the werewolf we brought from home.”

  We walked the row of media tents until we found the right one. “She’d kill me if she knew I said this, but we should probably keep an eye on her.”

  Microphone in hand, a woman with platinum blonde hair stepped out of one of the tents and waved us in. “So nice to meet you guys. Thanks for taking a few minutes to come and speak to our subscribers.”

  The interview started off all well and good. The typical questions we’d both already answered several times: band names, stage names, our individual look and persona within our bands. It was all so humdrum that I could even overlook the way Marilyn, as the interviewer introduced herself, batted her eyelashes and smiled demurely at Arrow every chance she got.

  We sat in folding chairs across from her. It gave her the perfect chance to do a lot of leg crossing and uncrossing in a skirt short enough to be a belt. I firmly believed that a woman should wear and do whatever the hell she pleased, but as soon as she started using that extra glimpse of thigh to seduce my man right in front of me, well, we might have a problem.

  The interview really took a turn when Marilyn asked, “So how did the two of you get together? Rumor has it, Spike, that you dated Arrow’s bandmate, Rowen, before you dated him. How does a girl get lucky enough to land the both of them? Do tell. Inquiring minds want to know.”

  I felt the friendly expression leave my face. My smile dropped off completely, replaced with a bitter frown. “I’d love to know where you’re getting your information. Also, my private life is exactly that. Private.”

  Marilyn wiggled her eyebrows at me like this was all in good fun. “Well, I’m afraid I can’t share my sources.”