No Filter (No Shame Series Book 1)

by Nora Phoenix

  “Nauseous?” he asked.

  “No. Just a blinding headache.”

  “We’ll get you some painkillers when we’ve got all your results. We need to make sure we’ve got the full extent of your injuries first. I want to listen to your breathing.”

  Fuck. He’ll see your back. He’ll ask questions, become suspicious.

  “Do you need me to wait for a minute?”

  Indy swallowed. “Can you listen to my breathing without looking?”

  Noah didn’t even hesitate. “Sure.”

  Noah popped his stethoscope in his ears and closed his eyes. “Put it above your right nipple…”

  Indy slipped the cold metal under his bra and filling. Damn, what a nuisance for girls to have to wear that shit every day. It bugged the crap out of him every single time he had to put a bra on.

  “Take a deep breath for me. Now your left…Breathe in…And out…Okay. You can’t reach your back, so I’ll put it on, but I promise I won’t look, okay?”

  Indy knew what was coming, but when Noah’s fingers touched his back he still tensed. Would he stop when he reached the ragged skin? There was no missing the scars, not where he’d have to put the stethoscope.

  Noah’s movements were steady and continuous, putting the cold circle on Indy’s back, listening, moving it to the other side, and listening again. If the man felt the scars, he didn’t show it in any way. Noah kept his eyes closed until he’d taken a careful step back and Indy had time to lower his blouse.

  “Thank you,” Indy said softly.

  “No problem. Your breath sounds are good. Do you have any pain other than in your head and your arm?”

  Indy hesitated.

  “Look, Indy, I understand this is intrusive, but I want to make sure you’re okay. Taking Josh's weight means you took a hard hit on your body, and I’m concerned about injuries to your upper body.”

  “My back hurts,” he admitted, his stomach sinking. Noah was right. He could’ve been injured there. It hurt like a bitch. For all he knew, he was sporting a few broken ribs. Sure felt like it.

  “Will you allow me to examine it?”

  Indy bit his lip. Noah had listened to his breaths without looking. He must’ve felt something on Indy’s back, because the scars ran all the way up. Yet he hadn’t said anything. He knew Indy was a man, yet again he hadn’t said anything, had respected his privacy. Indy had little choice, but that’s not what made him decide. He trusted Noah, somehow.

  “I trust you,” Indy said. He expected Noah to start examining him immediately, but he didn’t. Instead, Noah lowered himself on the bed, again putting all his weight on his left leg.

  “Thank you for your trust. It means a lot to me.”

  His closeness didn’t bother Indy at all. Noah’s eyes were focused on him, but not in a creepy or uncomfortable way. He was reading him, trying to gauge what he needed.

  “What happened with Josh at Stewart’s?” Noah asked.

  “I startled him even before the robber came in, and he reacted strongly, almost like I’d shocked him. I think he never came out of that. Then that guy started waving his gun, and he panicked. He wanted to walk out, but he woulda gotten himself shot.”

  “So you tackled him.”

  “Yeah. I spotted his dog tags and figured he must be having some kind of panic attack. I tried to calm him down, tried grounding him, but he kept fighting me. That’s why I kissed him.”

  “You saved his life. You realize that, don’t you?”

  Indy’s breath stuck in his chest. “I couldn’t let him get shot,” he whispered under Noah’s intense gaze. His eyes were kind, even if his face was still stern.

  “You saved him by doing something that must’ve gone against all your instincts. Josh, he means the world to me, and you saved him. I’m in your debt. I need to make sure you’re okay, but I want to do it in a way that respects you and your privacy, and without causing you stress. Let’s forget about hospital policies or forms or medical charts and all that bullshit. I’ll bend and break the rules if I have to. Tell me what I need to do.”

  Indy studied the kind man sitting so close to him, his insides strangely warm after Noah’s passionate words. Could it be that for once in his life Lady Luck was on his side? About fucking time. “If you run scans, you’ll discover old injuries. I don’t want to talk about those, and you can’t report them.”

  “I understand.”

  “My back…” Indy broke eye contact, stared at his hands. “My back is scarred. Don’t ask me why.”

  “Okay.”

  “And please put my gender down as female.”

  “How about I don’t ask too many questions, and you tell me what you think I should know. I trust you to share what’s important for me to treat you. Does that work?”

  The tightness in his chest became a little less. “Thank you.”

  Noah dipped his head. “I know your head must hurt like a motherfucker, but I’ll need to turn the lights on to see anything. Is that okay?”

  So much for the professional language the PA had used so far. Seemed Indy wasn’t the only one pretending to be someone else. “Yeah.”

  Indy turned himself on his stomach with difficulty, pain shooting through him at every little move. He hid his head under the pillow. The lights went on, and Noah walked back to the bed, sat down again. Wasn’t that a tad personal for a doctor? Or a PA, in his case. They usually stood, or bent over in weird angles, but Indy couldn’t remember one ever sitting down on his bed. Especially not this close to him. Not that it bothered him, because it didn’t, and maybe that was the craziest thing of all.

  “Is it okay if I lift your shirt now?”

  “Keep talking to me. I need to hear your voice,” Indy whispered. As long as Indy could hear Noah, he knew it was him, not someone else. Not Duncan. Or worse, Eric.

  Noah didn’t miss a beat. “You a football fan?” he asked, gently lifting Indy’s blouse.

  “Yup, one more week till the regular season starts. Can’t wait.”

  Indy was waiting for Noah to freeze or gasp, but he simply kept talking. “Being from Georgia, you’re probably a Falcons fan, right? Can’t believe a girl who is savvy enough to snap a guy out of a panic attack by kissing him would support a team who threw away a twenty-five point lead in a Super Bowl.”

  His fingers probed Indy’s back, undoubtedly checking his ribs. Indy gasped when Noah hit a tender spot. “What’s your team? You a Pats fan, like Josh?”

  “Hell, yeah. Since the day I discovered football. Brady, Gronk, Amendola, they’re my guys.”

  If only he knew. Indy should hit back with the expected insult from a supposed Falcons fan—something along the Pats are cheaters line—but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t dare jinx the team that had his true loyalty.

  “Can you turn on your back for me?”

  Indy kept the pillow on his face, as it shielded him from the lights that hurt even with his eyes pressed tight. Noah’s warm hands gently touched the front of his rib cage, slipping under the bra without hesitation or comment, systematically checking for damage. Then his hands withdrew, and he pulled Indy’s blouse down, covering him with the blanket.

  “Keep the pillow on your face while I draw some blood, okay?”

  Indy stretched his arm so Noah had access. He drew the blood quickly. Thank fuck he’d always been an easy stick, because boy, he’d been poked and prodded enough these last few years to last a lifetime. If he never, ever saw a damn hospital from the inside again, he wouldn’t mind.

  “Ok, done. Let me hand these off to the lab, okay?”

  Thank fuck that’s over.

  Noah got up from the bed, walked to the door with a heavy step, and the lights went off. Noah stepped out for a second, saying something Indy couldn’t quite pick up, then came back inside.

  Indy let go of the pillow, and Noah sat down on the bed again, letting out a soft groan. He had to be sporting one hell of an injury, because he didn’t seem like the type to whine over a little
pain.

  “Indy, you have a large bruise forming on your back, right below your left shoulder blade. Trauma protocol says I consult with my attending, who will no doubt order X-rays of your back. As a PA I can’t order scans, nor sign off on them, so my attending physician would have to see them, and he might start asking questions when he spots your other injuries. I’m relatively sure your ribs are bruised and not broken, but you may have a hairline fracture. In both cases, a tight binding and rest to heal properly are the prescribed treatment plan. The choice is yours: do you trust my medical judgment, or do you want me to run scans and maybe field questions you don’t want to answer?”

  The choice was easy. “I trust you. I thought both soldiers and medical people were the obedient, rule-following type, though. How did a rebel like you end up here?”

  For the first time, Noah touched Indy without asking him, taking his hand and pressing it lightly. “Thank you for your trust.”

  Indy never even tensed up. Instead, his body tingled at the sensation of Noah’s strong, masculine hand around his own, much smaller hand. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  Noah let out a sigh. “I never wanted to be a soldier, nor a physician assistant,” he said, letting go of Indy’s hand. “But that’s something I don’t like to talk about. Listen, I do want to ask my supervisor to sign off on an X-ray of your arm if that’s okay, plus a head scan to rule out brain trauma. Anything I should know beforehand?”

  A head scan? They’ll charge at least a thousand bucks for that, if not more. Those things are wicked expensive. “My arm has been broken before, but it won’t look suspicious. My head…is it necessary?”

  Noah ran his hand through his short hair. “Normally, I’d do it to check for possible brain trauma, especially since you passed out. We could skip it, but then you’d need someone to wake you every two hours to see if you are alert and responsive, tonight and tomorrow night. Sometimes head injuries have delayed effects. Is there someone who can stay with you?”

  Indy’s stomach sank. Fuck. “No.”

  “Staying for observation isn’t an option either, of course,” Noah said. He rubbed his stubble and was silent for a few seconds. “You can stay with me.”

  “What?” Indy stammered. He’s joking, right? He can’t possibly be serious.

  “Me and Josh, we live close to that Stewart’s. My shift ended already—I only stayed for you—so we could take you home as soon as your scans are done. I could check on you tonight.”

  They’re roommates, Noah and Josh? Huh. Indy couldn’t make out Noah’s eyes in the darkened room, but there was something in the guy’s expression he couldn’t determine. “You do that for all your patients?”

  “Of course not. But like I said: I owe you. Big time.”

  What was it between these two guys? There was an emotion in Noah’s voice when he talked about Josh, even when he mentioned his name, that was charged with more than Indy could put his finger on. Respect. Brotherhood. A deep affection. It was that sentiment that made him decide.

  “Okay.”

  “What do you mean, okay?”

  “Okay as in: okay, I’ll stay with you guys.”

  Noah stepped closer, raised his eyebrows. “Like that? You don’t even know us, and no offense, but you’re not the trusting type.”

  Indy slowly pushed himself up a bit. Noah was studying him, reading him again. “You guys are both army veterans. Josh has PTSD, and you feel responsible for him at least enough to say you owe me for keeping him safe during the robbery. You’re a PA, and you stayed after your shift to take care of me, even though I’m a seriously fucked-up nutcase. You recognized my hang-ups and managed to work around them, even getting me to trust you. And you didn’t react in any way when you saw my back. None of that screams psychopathic murderer to me, you feel me? Also, I’m pretty sure Josh mentioned that brown belt, right? Even with a concussion and bruised ribs, I could kick your ass if you attempted something I didn’t want.”

  Amusement danced in Noah’s eyes, where respect had been moments before. He understood. “True. I’ll put in the order for the X-rays of your arm and check on your labs. I’ll send Jessie in to take you up. Try to be nice to her.”

  “Be nice yourself. It’s not me she was scared of. You about reduced her to tears with your barking.”

  Noah grinned. “But the barking is so effective.”

  Noah’s face transformed from stern and aloof into boyish and vulnerable with that grin. Damn, what a difference.

  “After we get your results, assuming they don’t reveal anything new, I’ll get your discharge papers started and write you a script for meds. We can pick those up when we take you home. If you want, we can drive by your place to pick up some things.”

  His place. Shit, he hadn’t had a place he could call his in over two years. Longer, actually, since the house Duncan had bought him had never been Indy’s either. Indy’s car came closest, but anyone seeing that from the inside would know he’d been sleeping in it. No, he’d make do.

  “That won’t be necessary. If I can borrow a T-shirt or something, I’ll be fine.” His answer left no room for doubt.

  Noah narrowed his eyes for a second, obviously curious, but he backed off. “Is it okay if I send Josh in later? He can tell you where we live and arrange the practical details with you.”

  “Sure.”

  Noah gave him a reassuring smile and turned around to walk out.

  As soon as Noah had left, doubts attacked Indy. You’re nuts. Certifiably out of your fucking mind. How could he have agreed to spend the night at the residence of not one, but two guys he didn’t know? Shit, that bump on his head must have seriously fucked up his self-preservation skills, because otherwise there was no way he would have made such a rash decision.

  But what the hell was the alternative? Staying in the hospital overnight where every examination could trigger alarm bells? The scars were pretty conspicuous, after all, not to mention the whole not-being-a-woman thing. Spending another night in his cramped car, with these sore ribs? Even if he found a cheap motel—burning more cash he couldn’t afford to spend—he’d still run the risk of bleeding out in his brain because he’d refused the head scan. He hadn’t survived by making rash decisions on important dilemmas like this. No, he’d consistently weighed the pros and cons and had done whatever had made the most sense. And as counterintuitive as it seemed, trusting Noah and Josh right now was his best option.

  Jessie hesitantly stepped inside. “I’m here to take your cast off and then take you to radiology, Ms. Baldwin,” she said.

  “Thank you,” Indy said, sending her a friendly smile.

  Poor kid, screwing up in front of your hot boss. No matter what Noah had said about her not being his type, there was no way he was not Jessie’s type. Shit, he has to be pretty much everybody’s type, male or female. Seriously. He certainly is yours…

  Noah and Josh were both so fucking sexy, yet completely different. Josh was sweet, adorable, and cute, whereas Noah—despite his gentle, calming voice and manners—was raw, masculine, and breathtaking. The two of them made a pretty deadly combination.

  Asking Indy’s permission for every single step, Jessie carefully removed the cast and gently cleaned his arm. Indy’s guess was that the girl had gotten some extra instructions, aka barked orders, from Noah to make sure she wouldn’t screw up again. When the cast was off and Indy’s arm was clean and resting on a pillow, Jessie unlocked the bed and wheeled him out of the room.

  A concussion wasn’t Indy’s biggest worry. With proper rest that would be cleared in a week, two at most. But his arm and those ribs. They had better be bruised and not broken, otherwise he’d be royally fucked. How was he supposed to take care of himself, protect himself when he was that vulnerable? Plus, living in a car with injuries like that? Pshaw, he’d be so fucked.

  Even if he was screwed physically, he still didn’t regret saving Josh. He couldn’t have let him walk out in blind panic with the high risk of getting
shot. With a nervous kid like that handling a .45 bad things could happen, even by accident. Saving Josh had been the right thing to do, no matter what it would cost him. It was a small consolation, but it did make him feel better.

  The exams were fast and relatively painless. Luckily, scanning an arm took no undressing and precious little touching. A few minutes later, Indy was back in the ER, waiting for Noah to return with the results of his scans.

  Now, why did his heart rate speed up at the mere thought of this man? It was weird to start noticing guys again. First Josh, whose kisses had totally turned him on, and now Noah who caused his heart to gallop with a simple smile. Maybe his body was ready for sex again, even if his mind wasn’t and probably would never be.

  The door opened, and Noah stepped in.

  “What’s the verdict?”

  “Your arm is bruised, not broken, and the previous fracture is healing. We’ll put on a new cast, give you some pain meds, and then we can go home.”

  Home. Now, there was a word he hadn’t used in a long, long time.

  4

  Indy leaned back in the front seat of the car as Josh silently navigated the sturdy-looking Subaru through the sparse traffic. Out of habit, Indy checked the cars behind them in the side mirror. Nobody seemed to be following them. It was pretty easy to track with so little traffic.

  Noah was in the backseat behind Josh, still wearing his scrubs. He sat slightly turned to the right with his right leg stretched out on the seat, rubbing his thigh every now and then. Probably that leg injury Indy had spotted before bothering him. That also had to be why Josh was driving, because Noah didn’t seem like the type to not be in the driver’s seat.

  God, he was tired. Exhausted, more like it. Even after Noah had cleared him to be released, he still had to finish the administrative stuff. He’d paid his hospital bill himself, which had set him back way too much, but he’d had no choice. The hospital administrator hadn’t looked suspicious of his story of not having health insurance yet after moving, not when he had an old Georgia address and driver’s license to go with the accent. His license even listed him as female. Thank you, Houdini.