When our lips parted, Ashton’s eyes were bright as he gazed down at me. The heat smoldering in them could have started a forest fire.
“Wow,” I breathed.
“Dani...”
“Let’s just leave it like this, okay? We can overanalyze it to our hearts’ content tomorrow, but for tonight let’s just leave it... Perfect.”
“Whatever you say. Nite, Dani.”
My feet barely touched the floor as I went inside. I never wanted that feeling to end.
When I woke up the next morning I couldn’t get the smile off of my face. Somehow all the old doubts and fears didn’t seem to matter anymore. Nothing mattered except the way I felt about Ash, the way I felt when I was with him, and the sizzling heat of his kisses. And maybe there was nothing wrong with that. Maybe I needed to stop worrying and thinking so much and just let myself feel for a while.
And that’s what I went with when Ashton texted me later that day.
Ashton: How R U?
Me: Great!!!
Ashton: Go out with me tonight
Me: Sure. I’d love to
Ashton: Pick you up at 6 for dinner?
Me: I’ll be waiting
Excitement bubbled up in me all over again. I wasn’t nervous at all this time, just eager in anticipation of another wonderful night. Even though I knew they’d be irritated with me, I wasn’t about to say a word about it to any of my friends. Maybe I’d confess after New Year’s.
I bounced out the door when Ashton picked me up that evening. The thought of spending more time with him had left me walking on clouds all day. We joked together as he drove us to our favorite hole in the wall Mexican restaurant, and we spent almost two hours over dinner with every minute filled with laughter and smiles—and heated looks that promised lots more kisses were in our future.
Finally Ashton paid the check and we emerged once more into the freezing night air. We clung tightly to one another, still laughing as we headed across the parking lot towards Ashton’s car. It was cold but perfect, a night meant for kissing under the glowing stars. My heart thrilled as Ashton pulled me against him, and everything around us faded away as we lost ourselves in each other.
Only moments had passed before all of that was shattered by headlights and an angry voice.
“Ashton! Just what do you think you’re doing?”
I opened my eyes and saw Ashton’s parents staring at us from the open doors of their car.
Chapter Twelve
We pushed apart and stood gaping as Ashton’s parents stalked towards us. His mother stopped before him with a glare for each of us.
“Explain yourself young man.”
“We were just—”
“We could see what you were just,” his father interjected. “Do you mind telling me why you’re here kissing this girl in the parking lot when you told us you were going to study for a final with your friends?”
Ashton hung his head and said nothing. I could only watch helplessly while I seethed with anger and embarrassment and fought back the hot tears pooling in my eyes. This was so not fair.
Ashton’s mother shook her finger in his face. “You lied to us—again—so you could see this girl after we’ve told you to stay away from her.”
“But Mom...”
His father shook his head. “No. Don’t even start. You’re coming home with me right now, and your mother is taking her home. Give me your keys. Now.”
He held out his hand. Ashton took a deep breath then slowly reached out and dropped his keys into his father’s palm. With a look of helpless anguish he walked around to the passenger side of his car.
“Sorry,” he whispered.
His mother turned to me with an air of disdain. “You come with me.”
I shook my head. “I’ll get my own ride home, thanks.”
She looked down her nose at me and shrugged. “Suit yourself. But stay away from my son from now on. That shouldn’t be too hard since he’s going to be grounded for a very long while after this.”
As both cars drove off, I watched with eyes blurred by tears from my heart being ripped to shreds by icy claws. As bad as things had been before, this had taken the awfulness with his parents to a whole new level. Now what were we going to do?
When the shock wore off enough for me to stop shaking I called Allison. I knew she would give me less grief than either Delaney or Molly.
“Hey. Can you come pick me up?” I rattled off the name of the restaurant and the address.
“Sure,” she said, her voice tinged with concern. “Is everything all right?”‘
“No.”
“Just hang on. I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
I only had to wait about fifteen minutes before she pulled up. As I slid into the car she turned to me with worried eyes.
“You okay?”
“I guess,” I replied around the tightness in my throat.
“Ashton?”
“Yeah.”
Her eyes flared in indignation. “He just left you there?”
“He didn’t have much choice.”
I explained what had happened, but in the back of my mind I wondered. Couldn’t he have put his foot down and insisted on at least taking me home? Sure, he had to obey his parents but couldn’t he have said something, especially with the way his parents had behaved towards me? They’d refused to even mention me by name, like I was some piece of trash Ashton had picked up off of the street.
“Harsh,” Allison said as I finished. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
I was afraid, though. Ashton’s parents weren’t going to let this slide. They definitely weren’t going to give in. They had shown themselves even more intolerant of me than ever, and no matter how wonderful things had been with Ashton over the last few days it wasn’t going to be enough.
Allison stopped the car at the curb in front of my house. “Want me to come in?” she asked.
“I just want to be alone right now.”
“Are you sure? I can get Laney and Molly to come over and we can all keep you company so you can vent or cry or whatever.”
“Thanks, Allie, but not tonight. I need some time to process.”
She regarded me doubtfully. “All right, but I’ll stay in touch just in case you change your mind.”
Cold and alone, I walked up the sidewalk to my house. It was funny how everything could change so drastically in an instant. And I was completely helpless to fix it.
I heard nothing from Ashton during the rest of the weekend. My texts all went unanswered, and halfway through Sunday he blocked my number. Or his parents did. Either way, my spirits sank even lower until they were as gray and dismal as the weather outside. My friends texted, but I was in no mood to talk. I stayed in bed until noon then curled up on the couch in front of the TV staring at the screen without having any idea what I was watching.
When Mom insisted that I eat, I choked down food that was tasteless. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and went back to bed hoping to sleep through the worst of it. Maybe I’d wake up and find out it had all been nothing but a bad dream.
First thing when I woke up Monday morning I checked my phone, but there was still nothing from Ashton. So it hadn’t been a bad dream after all. I dreaded going to school and having to hear what Ashton had to say about what had occurred after he left with his parents. I had a feeling it had been far worse than anything in the past and that it meant nothing good for our future together.
I pondered that future as I showered and tried to swallow some breakfast. We had another year and a half left until graduation. A year and a half of sneaking around behind his parents’ backs, of lying, of constant dread that we’d be caught again and have to deal with another confrontation. A year and a half of Ashton being humiliated and grounded, of his parents despising me.
Mixed in with that were memories of the last few days, of the dance, of Ashton’s sweet kisses, of feeling safe and warm in his arms. It had been les
s than two days, but it already felt like years had passed. How could I live without that? But I had to be honest with myself. Was all of that worth what we’d have to endure between now and graduation? I was afraid it wasn’t.
I kept seeing how Ashton had gotten into his car with his father and driven away without so much as a single word of protest. Wasn’t I worth more than that to him? If he felt as strongly about me as I did about him wouldn’t he have put up some kind of fight? I wouldn’t have just let him go that way, would I?
But was that fair? I didn’t have his parents. I didn’t have to deal with them every day. Could I have stood up to them?
I was still trying to decide the answers to those questions when I got to school. It was too cold to sit in the quad and I found my friends waiting inside. Allison’s face creased with worry when she saw me.
“Did you hear from Ash?”
“No. Not a peep.”
Delaney frowned. “Walker said he didn’t answer his phone all weekend. How are you holding up?”
“About like you’d expect after being split up and humiliated by his parents.”
Molly tried to sound hopeful. “Maybe it will turn out not to be so bad.”
“And maybe I’ll get a brand new Porsche for Christmas.”
“What are you going to do?” Delaney asked.
“I have no idea.”
But I did have an idea. I just didn’t want to say it. I’d given up on Dylan because it wasn’t working out. Now Ashton wasn’t working out—again. Was it time to give him up for good? Maybe I just wasn’t meant to be with anyone. Maybe I was like Allison, always wanting the one boy I couldn’t really have and stuck trying to make do with whoever else came along. I wasn’t willing to settle for second best, though. I’d rather just be alone. I needed to talk to Ashton before I came to any definite conclusion, though. What if Molly was right and it wasn’t as bad as I thought?
Although I waited for him so long that I ended up being late for first period, he never showed up. It wasn’t until lunchtime that I finally ran into him. I pulled him aside and found a quiet spot where we could sit by ourselves. His expression was bleak as he took a seat across the table from me.
“They took my phone. And the car, and I can only use the computer for homework.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“They didn’t lay off of me the entire weekend.”
“They wouldn’t listen at all, would they?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t even try. There’s no point. They never listen, not about you.”
“Is it worth it, Ash? When you have to go through this all the time?”
“How can you ask that, Dani?”
“I have to ask. A year and a half, Ash. That’s how long we’d have to keep going on like this. Lying. Hiding. Pretending. Dealing with your parents when you get caught. Always being pushed apart.”
“What do you want me to do? Just give you up?”
“Maybe not give up, but put things on hold.”
“On hold?”
“Until after graduation. When you don’t have to hide from your parents anymore.”
Ashton looked down at his hands clasped on the table before him. “Is that really what you want?”
“No! I want what we had last week every single day. But we can’t have that, and I don’t want to have to spend every minute with you dreading that we’re going to get caught and you’re going to be stuck in another fight with your parents. Do you really want to spend the next year and a half grounded?”
“Not really.”
“Then what choice do we have?”
He blew out a sigh through gritted teeth. “If I could just make them see...”
“But you can’t, can you?”
“I don’t think so.”
“You need to think about it. You’re grounded and I’m going to be gone through the holidays so we can’t see each other anyway right now. But when I get back we’re going to have to make a choice. Either fight for this and take whatever comes, or just be friends until graduation when you’re not under your parents’ thumbs anymore.”
“I hate this.”
“Me, too, but we just don’t have any other options.”
“Maybe we’ll think of something.”
I wished I could have believed that, but I knew better.
What should have been a great week ended up being pure misery. Outside of lunchtime I hardly saw or spoke to Ashton. I was so upset I could barely concentrate on studying, so the last of my finals didn’t exactly go well. Luckily my grades had been high enough that it wasn’t a complete disaster, but Mom and Dad were not going to be thrilled when my report card came in. Even exchanging gifts with my friends couldn’t drag me out of the dark pit where my mood had crawled to hide.
On Wednesday we only went to school for half a day, and I was heading for Lubbock with my parents as soon as I got home. I said my goodbyes to my friends, but there was no sign of Ashton and I was afraid I’d have to leave without seeing him. I waited as long as I could, but finally gave up and started towards my car.
“Dani!”
I turned as I heard Ashton’s voice, just in time to be swept up in his arms. Our lips met with what felt like a shower of sparks, and I melted against him while he kissed me breathless.
“I almost missed you,” he said.
“I’m really glad you didn’t. I needed that.”
His fingertips brushed lightly against my cheek. “I hope you have a good trip. And if my parents don’t give me my phone back before then, Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.”
It didn’t feel merry at all, though. He set me down and handed me a flat box about a foot square and a couple of inches deep wrapped in red and green striped paper.
“This is for you.”
“Thanks. I’ve got yours in here.”
I rummaged through my backpack until I found a large cardboard shipping envelope. As I handed it to him, Ashton’s eyes lit up.
“One of your drawings?”
I nodded. I’d worked on it when I should have been studying for finals.
“Don’t open it now,” I told him, afraid of his reaction. And mine. “Wait until Christmas, okay?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“I’ve got to go. They’re waiting on me at home.”
“I’ll see you when you get back.”
Hopelessness tinged his voice, and he turned away as though defeated. I wanted to call him back and assure him that everything would be all right, but it wasn’t true. Nothing had changed. So I let him go.
The trip to Lubbock was long and tiresome, despite texting with my friends. During the drive another front blew in from the north, pushing sullen, gray clouds before it and sending the temperature plunging below freezing. It promised to be a gloomy Christmas, and the cheerful, twinkling lights and excited greetings by my family at my grandparents’ house did nothing to lighten my mood. I hurried through the bitter wind to take refuge inside, but although I escaped the wind there was no escaping the chill which had wrapped itself around my heart.
The days before Christmas crawled by while the weather grew steadily worse. We spent most of our time indoors playing games and watching Christmas movies. Despite being surrounded by family and texting my friends every day, though, I felt completely alone. There was no word from Ashton, and I wondered if he had unwrapped my gift yet. His gift for me sat under the tree. I’d been tempted to open it, but I’d saved it so I’d have something to look forward to. I badly needed that just then.
When Christmas Eve came with still no contact, I texted Delaney.
Me: Heard anything from Ash?
Delaney: No. I asked Walker to try, but he never heard anything back
Me: Guess he’s still grounded
Delaney: It’s Xmas, hon. Stop worrying about this and try to enjoy the holiday
Me: I’ll get right on that
Delaney: OK, Captain Bringdown
Me: I know,
I know. I’ll be good
Delaney: I’m surprised they haven’t dumped your grumpy butt out in the snow
Me: It hasn’t snowed that much yet. Supposed to get a nasty storm tonight though
Delaney: Glad we stayed home this year
Me: I wish we had
Delaney: Wish you had, too. We’re all getting together the day after Xmas at Molly’s to hang out and play games. Monopoly just isn’t the same without you
Me: Sorry I won’t be there. All this family stuff is driving me crazy
Delaney: You’d be going even crazier if you were here
Me: Probably so
Delaney: Got to go. They’re calling me to dinner. You going to be OK?
Me: Do I have any choice?
Delaney: Nope. Love you babe. Hang in there
Me: I will. Merry Xmas
Delaney: Merry Xmas
I went back to my family, but even in the crowded living room I felt completely alone. Why hadn’t I heard from Ash? Couldn’t he manage a quick phone call or text somehow?
After dinner we gathered in the dining room around the tree. It was an old family tradition that everyone got to open one gift on Christmas Eve. Since the kids were going stir crazy from being stuck inside, I was hoping it would keep them busy and out of my hair. When my turn came, I dithered. I halfway wanted to put it off for another day, but finally I gave in and pulled Ashton’s gift from under the tree. While the children shrieked with laughter and ran through the house with their new toys, I slowly stripped the paper away from the box in my hands.
Inside the box was a new sketchbook and a dazzling collection of charcoal and colored pencils. It was the nicest drawing set I’d ever gotten, the perfect gift. I blinked away tears, hoping that no one noticed and wishing that Ashton was there so I could thank him. Had he opened my gift yet? If he had, what had he thought of it? I doubted I’d find that out until I went back to school. Maybe that was for the best.
After that we drank punch and sang carols while the wind wailed outside, then settled the kids down to watch Christmas movies until it was time for them to go to bed. I followed soon after, since the adults used that opportunity to fill stockings for their kids and I was playing along with the fiction that I was still one of them. It made Mom happy, at least.
Just Friends Page 10