Permanent (Indelibly Marked) (Volume 1)

by Kim Carmichael

  “I want to drive with Carson.” Rachel smiled.

  She knocked again and looked at her watch. His car was there. Carson’s car was there. Where were they? “Shane.” She pounded on the door. “Please.”

  “I don’t think they’re here.” Rachel looked in the window.

  “Oh God, the cab.” She left them stranded! She ran her hands through her hair.

  “You look much better as a brunette.”

  “Who’s that?” Rachel looked down the stairs.

  She turned. “Dillon.”

  “He’s cute.” Rachel grabbed her hand.

  “No he’s not.” She shook her head.

  “They’re not here.” He sauntered up the stairs. “You annihilated him.”

  “Dillon, please.”

  “Did you have a change of heart?” He put his hand in his pocket.

  “Do you care?”

  “If you did, I’ll get you to the shop.”

  “I have to go to him.” She took off her sunglasses. “Please.”

  He tilted his head. “Let’s go.”

  They made their way to Carson’s car and he helped Rachel in the back seat.

  “Did your mom make those dresses?” he asked.

  “She pays me to wear them.” Rachel smiled. “I have extra clothes at school.”

  “Rachel.” She spun in her seat.

  Dillon gave her a high five and got in the car.

  “Why are you doing this?” She fastened her seatbelt.

  “I need to. I lost my job and left them when I couldn’t make good on my promises.” He started the car. “Then I lost my job there. Both coasts rejected me.”

  “Why did you really come back?” She stared straight ahead.

  “I have nothing and I need them.” He shook his head. They drove to the shop in silence, and before she got out, he stopped her. “Lindsay.”

  “It’s not my story to tell.” She nodded.

  “Go to my brother.”

  “Thank you.” She took her sister, watched him drive away, and froze when she faced the shop.

  Part of her wanted to turn away but she couldn’t back down. The important thing was finding Shane and telling him how wrong she’d been. She pushed on the door and peeked inside. Her gaze darted around the room, and the nausea building in her stomach amplified and coupled with a stomachache when she saw the three friends she left.

  “No one should ever doubt my greatness again.” Carson pointed in her direction and held his hand out. “Pay up.”

  “I never bet against you.” Ivan elbowed Emily.

  Emily dramatically looked at her watch. “Yes, but I am closest to the time.” She put her palm out.

  Lindsay watched in confusion as Carson and Ivan put money in Emily’s hand. At least they had returned to their normal clothes, hair and makeup.

  Emily closed her fist around the money but glared at Lindsay. “Last week I would have asked my business manager if winnings from a bet counted as income or personal property.”

  “What would you do this week?” Carson leaned toward Emily and cupped his hand over his ear.

  “I don’t have a business manager. She walked out on me,” Emily snapped.

  She braced herself on the door. She didn’t expect them to welcome her back with open arms, but she wished they had. Then again, if she stood on the other side of the counter she would be acting the same way.

  “That’s weird, same thing happened to me.” Carson turned his back to her and Emily joined him.

  She held her sister in front of her and caught Ivan’s stare.

  “Is there something you needed, Lindsay?” Ivan put his hands on his hips. “Shane’s not here.”

  He called her Lindsay and he never called her that. She’d never been sure if Ivan knew her real name. Where was Ivan’s joke, or hug or at least a smile? She was no longer welcome, which also meant that she was no longer welcome in Shane’s heart. She pursed her lips trying to hold the tears back and shook her head.

  No matter what Shane thought, she was going to find him, but she had lost the right to ask them for help. She managed to take a breath and straightened up. “I’m sorry.”

  “Did you forget his audit was today?” Ivan raised his arms.

  “Not for one second.” She pressed her fingers to her temple.

  “You don’t know what you did.” He walked to the back of the shop.

  “He wouldn’t even let any of us go with him.” Emily faced her.

  She knew what that meant. Since they took her under their wing, she hadn’t known what it was like to be alone.

  Carson crossed his arms. “Why are you here?”

  She held her hand up, trying to stop this freight train of horrors, even though she deserved it. Funny, it was the first time she ever felt out of place there. “We’re going to go.”

  “Are you going to find Shane?” Emily yelled.

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “I need to be there.” She opened the door not wanting to create a bigger scene.

  “The night Shane was late to get you, I was so mad at him.” Emily came around the counter. “I didn’t know how he could do that to you. I think the two of you are such a perfect couple.” Her one time best friend approached. “Can I ask you a question?”

  She nodded and wiped her eyes, not wanting to be crying the last time she saw them.

  “Do you love him?”

  “I love him more than anything and I threw it out.” At least they would know she accepted responsibility. She was the reason they were not together.

  “Then let’s go. We’ll get you there.”

  She shook her head in disbelief.

  Emily pushed the two of them out, but pulled her sleeve. “When you dropped Shane you also dropped us, and I don’t like losing my best friend that way.”

  Carson jiggled his keys. “Yeah, we don’t.” He held his hand out to Rachel.

  For a moment she stared at them in disbelief then she burst out crying. “I’m sorry. I messed up.”

  They both hugged her.

  “Can I just say that I was wrong about everything, and ask not to explain until after I talk to Shane?” They didn’t make fun of her.

  Carson gave her a thumbs up and led Rachel to the car.

  “I need to get to that meeting.” She grabbed Emily’s arm. “It’s downtown!” Only in Los Angeles could a six mile drive take forty minutes. The audit started in forty five minutes.

  “What were you doing before?” Emily retrieved her bag of makeup. “Were the two of you in a play or something?”

  “My mom has issues.” She shook her head.

  “It’s cute, it just needs something.” Emily took off her belt and wrapped it around her. “But I love your hair.”

  “Really?” She wrinkled her nose. “Shane won’t.”

  “He never liked blondes, he likes you.” Emily interrupted. “None of us care what you were. We only care what you are.”

  Carson pulled Emily’s car around and got out. “Let’s go or the audit will start without his accountant.” He looked down at her and gave her his jacket. “I think this may complete the look.”

  She put on his leather jacket and slipped into the back seat with Emily. “I don’t look like an accountant.”

  “Yes you do.” Carson and Emily said in unison.

  “What?”

  “No matter what you do, you always look like an accountant. What do you want to look like?”

  Carson filled in the blanks. “She came from Ohio to Los Angeles. She wanted to look like she thought a California girl would look. She didn’t want us to know she was just the straight A student from the middle of nowhere.”

  Emily finished up. “She was the geek who turned chic, although geeks are chic anyway.”

  “They are?” Rachel looked back at Emily.

  “Absolutely.” Carson smiled and drove.

  She looked down at that awful dress with Emily’s belt and Carson’s jacket. She had a b
it of each of them to give her strength.

  “Go.” Emily hit the back of Carson’s head.

  “Where would you like me to go?” Carson yelled.

  “Out of the driveway.” Emily leaned forward.

  “Okay.” Carson moved about an inch ahead. “There’s a jam.”

  She covered her eyes and tried not to panic. She had her friends here, and they would get her the six miles to Shane. They knew the back streets.

  “Go another way,” Emily demanded.

  “I will as soon as I get out of the driveway.”

  She wiped her forehead. Her friends may have found a soft spot for her, but what she wanted was Shane, and everything hinged on getting to that audit. He went alone. She had to show him she hadn’t abandoned him.

  They didn’t move for another several minutes.

  “The audit will be starting any second.” Emily whispered to Carson but everyone heard.

  “I should have gone right there,” Lindsay whispered. “I sabotaged myself.” Everything since leaving the hotel was nonsense. Going to the apartment and the shop, was all an excuse. She was terrified of facing him. “I ruined us.”

  “Lindsay.” Emily rubbed her back. “What’s wrong?”

  She shook her head and opened the door. “I need to get out of the car.”

  “We’ll make it.” Carson honked his horn.

  “I ruined us.” Not sure what to do next, she got out of the car just as Ivan’s motorcycle rumbled toward her.

  He pulled up beside her and held a helmet out. “Get on.”

  She hesitated.

  “Shane’s my best friend.” He set his jaw.

  “I know.”

  “He deserves to have you there.”

  She took the helmet.

  “You deserve to have him, too.”

  “I ruined everything.” She let the tears go and looked into his eyes, knowing he would give her an honest answer.

  “Maybe you can’t fix it, but I think it’s real important you get there.”

  She bit her lip. Her gut told her the same thing.

  “Come on, you have to make an entrance.” He stopped her before she got on the bike. “You don’t look like an accountant.”

  She frowned. “I always look like an accountant.”

  Ivan took a necklace from around his neck and handed it to her. “That should do it.”

  She kissed his cheek. “Wait, Rachel!”

  “We got her.” Emily called from the car. “Good luck!”

  She got on the bike and fastened the helmet. “I’m not supposed to go on your bike or downtown.”

  “Yeah, that sucks.” He laughed. “Hold on tight and close your eyes.”

  “Why?” She wrapped her arms around Ivan’s waist.

  “I’ll get you there, but it will be my way.” Ivan rode off down the sidewalk.

  She closed her eyes.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Shane glanced at his watch and pulled his sleeve down over his tattoos. For over an hour he’d waited in a plain office for the IRS agents to join him. The only items he brought with him were the box of papers and Lindsay’s ring. He didn’t know why.

  In the back of his mind he thought somehow Lindsay would end up with him here. He couldn’t shake the feeling, but after hours of waiting, he finally gave up.

  Maybe she could walk away, pack everything in a box and forget about it, but not him. If he had any money left after the audit, he’d buy a ticket to Ohio and confront her. He’d let her know he would have been the one man who wouldn’t have left her.

  After fighting so hard to be with her, after hearing that she’d told her parents what he did for a living, and after she walked out, he couldn’t beg her again. He was the one who fought for them, but she wouldn’t and he had to accept that.

  He glanced at his watch again and played a game. If she showed up before the IRS agents, everything would be all right. Just walk through the door. He closed his eyes and envisioned her coming in dressed in a beautiful suit, blonde hair straight down her back. She would have that take control attitude and bring the agents to their knees. Then he would get down on his knee and …

  “Mr. Shane Elliott.”

  He opened his eyes as two men entered. “Yes.”

  They nodded and closed the door on his dream. It was over.

  *~*~*

  Lindsay weaved through the halls of the IRS building with Ivan following.

  “Where is this office?” Ivan panted as he kept up with her.

  She pointed straight ahead, her chest burning and her throat dry from the exertion.

  “Careful.” Ivan yelled when she stumbled on her heels.

  At last she spotted the non-descript door at the end of the corridor and as she sped up, the reality that Shane was on the other side of the door hit her. She panicked and glanced back at Ivan, but miscalculated her speed and tripped, colliding with the door.

  As well as miscalculating her speed, she also miscalculated that the door would be latched shut. Rather than banging into it, the door flung open, and she slid into the room, skidding face first across the rough brown carpet. For a grand finale, her purse took flight, landing several feet away and spraying its contents across the room.

  “Lindsay?”

  Mortified, she closed her eyes and remained still, hoping somehow, even though Shane called her name, he hadn’t seen her. The sound of his voice brought tears to her eyes and suddenly he stood in front of her. She froze.

  “What are you doing here?”

  His tone told her she made the wrong decision. He’d snapped, and how could she blame him? First she walked out on him and now barged in, a grandiose gesture, expecting Shane to take her back.

  “I didn’t want to miss your audit.” She said into the musty rug.

  “I can manage.”

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She pushed up and purposely didn’t look in his direction, otherwise she’d lose it. “I was part of this audit.”

  “Then thank you for keeping your word.”

  She tried to get up, but her arms wouldn’t hold her.

  “Mr. Elliott, who is this?” a male voice asked.

  The room fell silent and she tilted her head, catching sight of Shane’s dress shoes and suit pants.

  “My accountant.” Defeat floated on his voice.

  She shut her eyes trying not to envision the title she lost.

  “Then bring her to the table and let’s get started,” the man stated.

  She owed the first person she met in California a favor. No matter what, she wouldn’t leave without repaying that debt. “I’m his accountant.” With the words out, she collected her purse and went to the table.

  She would leave California as she arrived, a simple accountant.

  But she wanted her California life.

  *~*~*

  “We need to see the receipts for disposables going back for the other two years.” The IRS guy tapped away on his computer.

  Shane squirmed in the hard plastic chair. For two hours he listened to the monotone drivel where the two men in the non-descript brown suits asked cryptic questions while Lindsay conjured the appropriate papers. The men calculated then moved on to another question. Neither man nor Lindsay gave any hint of progress. They sat expressionless though each notation and paper possessed the potential to change his life.

  The appearance of Lindsay only served to tighten the twist in his stomach. Again, she’d fallen into his life. Her hair returned to its natural splendor, her outfit strange, even by Hollywood standards. He wanted her, needed her, but she needed to say the word. Everything burned worse than a fresh tattoo on his spine. In an attempt to relieve the pressure and the pain, he arched his back.

  Up to that point every question centered on the year Lindsay worked on.

  Without a glance in his direction she bent down to the box of papers he prepared on the two years he neglected to tell her about.

  She lifted the box lid.

 
He gripped the sides of the stupid chair and turned toward the one plain window. No doubt he screwed up.

  “Oh my God.”

  For the first time since she skidded across the carpet, she showed some emotion, and he turned.

  Her appearance gave him no clue, it could go either way with her complexion pale in contrast to her dark brown hair, her lips pressed together.

  “What?” He clenched his fist along with his jaw.

  “What did you do?” She stared at him.

  He tried to speak but a horrible scraping of his teeth vibrated through his skull. With a swallow he got the words out. “You ditched me.”

  “You lied.” Her eyes glazed over.

  He shrugged. “I was going to say something.”

  “Ms. Stevens do you have the receipts in question?” The man interrupted.

  She turned to her lap. “You used file folders.” One tear fell on the manila square.

  “Lindsay.”

  “You even labeled them.” She ran her trembling fingers across the writing on the tab. Two more tears fell.

  “I figured out what disposables were.” Damn it. He couldn’t resist and scooted his chair over. “I tried to follow your system.”

  “I tried to follow my own system.” She hung her head.

  He lifted his hand, but stopped short of touching her.

  “I couldn’t do it on my own. I couldn’t change.”

  One of the men tapped his pencil on the table.

  “Just give us a second.” Shane shot a glare their way. Her admission that she wasn’t an island meant everything.

  Both men leaned back.

  “Why did you come here today?”

  The wet file folder crumpled in her grasp. “I quit my job.”

  Inside he cheered, but did she quit to return to Ohio? “Why?”

  “I wanted to be the accountant to the tattoo industry.” She put her hand to her forehead and all the items in the folder fell to the floor. Nothing but sad confetti littered the area. “I love you.”

  The entire room stood silent.

  For the first time since she ran out of her apartment, he inhaled a full breath. His heartbeat calmed and the anvil on his head lightened. “Well, that’s a good thing.” He took hold of her chin, making her look at him.

  “It is?” Her tears continued.