The Sheisty Saga

by T. N. Baker

  “Epiphany, table for two, your table is ready,” the hostess announced over the loudspeaker. I told Bay’s sister I was sorry for her loss and that he was a good friend to me and I hoped they found the bastards that did it.

  “Last call for Epiphany, table for two,” was all I heard as I walked out of the restaurant.

  Damn, I couldn’t believe Bay was dead. I really wanted those Prada shoes and matching bag. I guess C was gonna have to buy them for me now.

  I felt bad, so I went and bought myself a Louis Vuitton bag and a bottle of Donna Karen’s Cashmere Mist perfume to make myself feel better. I hope I don’t sound too shallow. I just do what works for me.

  Chapter 14

  KEISHA

  Epiphany had been such a big help to me with my son. She was my sista for life. Now, as far as Shana went, I didn’t know what was up with that girl. After leaving several messages with her mom, I still hadn’t heard from her. All I knew was that she was still alive, and Ms. Pat said if that should change, she’d let me know. In other words, I guess that meant stop calling so much.

  I finally got around to enrolling back in school for my master’s. Tucker thought I should wait until we moved, but why put off for later what could be done now? Besides, I was hoping maybe he’d hold off on moving until I finished. I honestly didn’t know why we had to move anyway.

  Tucker had been in and out of town like a madman. I knew these were the final moves before his retirement, so as long as he kept the lines of communication open, I tried not to complain. Now that I was back in school, I’d have more to do with my time. I was still planning my wedding.

  Even though Shana had been M.I.A. I still had faith in her and our friendship; however, I had already asked Lea, a good friend of mine that I met in college, to take her place if I should need a Plan B. I had no choice; the bridal shop needed everyone’s measurements as soon as possible. I also made arrangements for my younger sisters to be in my wedding.

  This was going to be a very special day, because not only was I marrying my man, but I hadn’t seen my sisters in about six years. They were nine and eleven the last time I saw them. I had to bribe my Nana with a couple of dollars for her to agree to it, but what the hell . . .? Money makes the world go ’round.

  I was so excited. Tucker and I had already come up with 150 people on our guest list and counting. Once again, Epiphany and Malikai had to put up with each other, because he was the best man and she was my maid of honor. I told her jokingly that she should have stayed with him, because she saw him more now than when they were together!

  The catering hall that I chose was beautiful, and once everything was set, I knew it’d be a day to remember.

  Ring, ring.

  My cell phone snapped me right out of my wedding plans. It was Tucker calling. There had to be some drama, ’cause that was the only time he called my cell. Tucker never discussed the game on the home phone.

  “Hello,” I answered, hoping everything was okay.

  “Hey, Keish,” he said on the other end, sounding a little stressed out.

  “What’s wrong? And when are you coming home? We miss you.”

  “Keish, I miss you guys too. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms. I wanted to send for you and little man, but some kids that I fuck with down here just got knocked, so shit is a little crazy right now. I gotta hit his people off with a little bail money, and then I should be back up that way by Saturday night. I love you. Gotta go.” He hung up before I could respond.

  I swear I couldn’t wait until this shit was over so we could live a normal life. I spent so much time worrying and praying to God to keep my man safe that it was starting to drive me nuts. I even started a trust fund for the baby and stashed away over fifty G’s in a safety deposit box, and let’s not mention the million dollar life insurance policy just in case, God forbid, something happened to Tucker. Lord only knows. I hated to think like that, but this shit scared me.

  Chapter 15

  EPIPHANY

  It was the first time I’d seen C-God sniff coke. “Yo, boo, you want some? It’ll make the sex a lot better,” he said.

  “Nah. I don’t fuck with that shit.”

  Then he had the nerve to say I wasn’t no fun. Shit, I didn’t think my sex needed any improvement. This nigga was trippin’. For one, I barely saw him anymore and then his wife had the nerve to call my house the other night talking ’bout I better leave her man alone. That’s right, his so-called wife. I didn’t even know he had one of those.

  Unfortunately for her, he was eating my pussy when she called; therefore, I even didn’t trip. I just passed him the phone. The only reason I was certain that it was over between them was because of what he said and the hateful way he screamed at her when he said, “Yo, ain’t nothin’ wrong with my seeds, right? Then what the fuck I tell you? If they a’ight, then don’t be fuckin’ calling me for no bullshit, and don’t call my girl’s house no fuckin’ more either, understand?”

  I asked him how she got my number. He didn’t know the answer to that question. Then I asked him why he didn’t tell me he was married.

  “’Cause the bitch is crazy.” He explained that she only called herself his wife because she had two kids by him, so the bitch felt special.

  I let the shit go, ’cause she couldn’t possibly be that stupid to let him talk to her like that and still be fuckin’ with him. I gave them both the benefit of the doubt. Plus, I knew he’d been stressed out lately, and I wasn’t trying to add on to it.

  A lot of C’s stress was because the nigga didn’t believe in using condoms, and now half his baby’s mommas wanted to take him to court for child support. As far as him hustling, his product must not have been moving too well, ’cause lately he hadn’t been spending money like he used to. Now he was breaking the number one rule of the drug game: Getting high on his own supply.

  “C, what’s up? Is everything okay?” I asked.

  “I’m good,” he said.

  “You sure? ’Cause I didn’t know you was getting high.”

  “What the fuck is you talking ’bout, getting high? Shit, every muthafucka out there hustling fuck with li’l girl every now and then. You don’t be complaining when you getting this stiff dick up in you, huh, thanks to this shit right here,” he said, sounding very irritated.

  “Listen, calm down, I just didn’t know, C-God. I barely see you anymore,” I said, feeling a little intimidated by his tone.

  “Well, I can’t fuck with you all the time. A nigga gotta make money, especially since you be in my fucking pockets all the time. So don’t start beating me in my fuckin’ head ’bout what the fuck I do with my time, ’cause I’ma start dismissing bitches and niggas, whoever trying to stop me from getting that paper. That’s my word, niggas don’t know. I want it all, and if I gotta start killing muthafuckas for it, then that’s what it’s gon’ be. These niggas is out here pushing fly-ass whips, bouncing in and out of town and shit like they the kings of fucking New York. They ’bout to get it, and they ain’t even gonna see it coming. On that note, yo, I’m out. I got moves to make.” C-God grabbed his pint of Remy V.S.O.P. and headed out my front door.

  I started to assume shit. Could he be talking about Malikai and Tucker? They were out of town a lot, and Tucker did push a 745LI BMW, SL500 Mercedes, and a Range Rover. Mali just had his Navigator truck. With all the questions C was asking me about Keisha, it was possible.

  I didn’t know what to do. If I told Tucker and Mali to watch their backs, then C might fuck me up, and I wasn’t trying to have that happen. Besides, what if I was wrong? I was sure there were other niggas out there getting money in and out of town. I was just gonna mind my business.

  * * *

  It had been two weeks since C-God walked out talking shit that night. He hadn’t called me, and I hadn’t called him. Part of me missed him and his money. The other part just didn’t want to fuck with him anymore because of the way he acted.

  I’d been over Keisha’s crib a lot lately, help
ing her get the wedding together, and neither she nor Tucker mentioned any possible beef with C-God. Keisha knew I was fucking with him, so believe me, if there was some drama involving Tucker, she would have said something to me about it by now.

  Watching Keisha and Tucker all over each other, kissing and laughing, made me miss C-God more and more. We had good times, too, and maybe I should’ve been easy, knowing the stress he’d been going through.

  When I got in my car to head home, the first thing I did was call him. I didn’t want to call the cell, so I just left a message on his two-way, telling him how much I missed him. That way if he felt the same, he’d hit me back.

  In less than two minutes after leaving that message, my cell was ringing. It was C calling me back. He apologized for the way he’d acted. He said the only reason he didn’t call me was because he felt like maybe he might have turned me off when I seen him sniff coke. He assured me that it wasn’t a habit, and if I was uncomfortable with it, he promised to not even fuck around with it.

  Then he said, “You know I love you, baby girl.”

  A big Kool-Aid smile grew across my face as I said, “I love you back. Now, can you meet me at my house and give me some of that stiff dick?”

  “I’m on my way,” he replied.

  Chapter 16

  SHANA

  I knew it had to be Epiphany that called and had him flying outta there. If it was one of his babies’ mommas or business, he would’ve talked in front of me. He told me about their argument, but I guess all that talk about him not fucking with her boring-ass anymore was just a bunch of bullshit. I wasn’t stressing it, ’cause I was the one laying up in his crib, making runs with him, counting his money, moving 500 X pills a week at Honey’s for his ass, and fucking him any way he wanted it. I was that down-ass bitch that a thug-ass nigga needed by his side.

  So, if he wanted to fuck with Epiphany still, I was’t gon’ sweat it, ’cause he dropped her ass off for a reason and came back to Quiet Storm that night to holla at me. When I seen him with Epiphany, I was just gonna fall back, but her nigga chose me, so like Snoop Dog said, “It ain’t no fun if my homie can’t have none.” Let the games begin; for once the shoe was on the other foot.

  The shit I had put up with from Epiphany all these years, she had better be glad all I was doing was fucking her man. I should’ve beat her ass on several occasions a long time ago. Like that time when we were seventeen and she fucked Curtis Jacobson just to get back at his boy Dre for doing her dirty. She knew I was crazy about Curtis. I used to love the ground that boy walked on, and even though he wasn’t feeling me, she still violated our friendship rule. Talk about being hurt; I was crushed, but I let it slide.

  Then there were times where she used to try and play me around a bunch of niggas ’cause I ain’t have as much as she did, so the bitch would give me clothes—nice shit she didn’t want and Keisha couldn’t fit. Around guys, Epiphany always got a lot of the attention, but that wasn’t enough. She’d say shit like, “Girl, them jeans I gave you fit nice. Did the other things fit good too?” Like the ho ain’t seen me all fucking day to ask me that shit in private. I would get so embarrassed, until I got used to it. Keisha would always do what Epiphany told her to do, but I wasn’t having that bullshit, and she couldn’t stand it.

  The girl had something against people who lived in the projects, too. She thought she was better, but if her father hadn’t hustled hard to get that house in a neighborhood that was still the hood, she probably would have been my next-door neighbor.

  What it all boiled down to was this: I’d had enough of her, and even though Keisha never did anything but look out for me, she was Epiphany’s friend first. The bitch barely came to see her when she was knocked up, but who did she ask to be the godmother and maid of honor? Not me. It was best that I just kept my distance from both of them bitches for a while.

  I picked up the phone to call Chasity. I’d been so caught up with C-God that I hadn’t really been fucking with her. I knew she was mad.

  “Hello,” Chasity answered.

  “What’s up, Chass? I miss you.”

  “Oh yeah, you miss me now? So is this how it’s gonna be every time you get a little dick in your life? What, you just gon’ push me off to the side?” she asked.

  “Listen, C-God and my relationship is not just about sex, and you need to stop trippin’ ’cause it ain’t like I don’t put you down. You enjoy getting high for free and his dick too. Me and you is me and you, but I told you from the door, dick and hustling is something I ain’t never giving up,” I said, setting the record straight.

  “So he be paying you?” Chasity asked.

  “Hell yeah. That’s the only reason why I ain’t been coming to Honey’s to dance. I be in the bathroom pushing that Dr. Feelgood hard, ’bout three hundred or more Ecstasy pills at thirty dollars a pop in less than a week. That’s nine G’s, and out of that I get a bullshit li’l fifteen hundred. But I need his ass right now, ’cause I’m trying to get my own hustle going through his connect. I’m stacking my dough, too, so I can get a whip and come pick you up from the club sometimes. But anyway, what’s up for tonight? Let’s go hang out,” I suggested, knowing that would increase the peace between us.

  “A’ight, there’s this nice all-girl spot on the west side of Manhattan,” Chasity said.

  “That’s what’s up. I’ll meet you there at eleven.”

  Chapter 17

  EPIPHANY

  If I had known a couple of weeks apart would have made shit this good between me and C-God, I would have started a fight with him when he first started to fuck up. We were hanging out in the city that night. I was gonna rock my leather jumpsuit because it hugged the hell out of my curves, and with the chinchilla fur jacket that C just bought me, that shit just added more fuel to my fire.

  Business must have picked up for him, because he was definitely splurging again. Since we had been back together, he’d been handling a lot of business over the phone and spending every night in my bed. I hadn’t picked up my phones or checked my answering machine that read “full” in days. There had been no need to. I had what I wanted right there.

  I grabbed the phone and called up Walk That Walk Salon to speak to Ardie (girlfriend knew he could do some hair) to see if he would squeeze me in his morning schedule, which I was sure was already tight. After he cursed me out for missing my last appointment three months ago, he agreed by saying, “You better not be late.”

  I hated driving all the way to Harlem to get my hair done, but it was worth it. I got up, threw on some clothes, and set off the automatic starter on my car so it could warm up because it was cold outside. I walked into the bedroom and woke up C-God to let him know I was on my way to my hair appointment. I knew he probably would use that as an opportunity to go take care of some business. I kissed his lips and told him I’d see him later.

  When I arrived at the salon, Ardie snatched me up as soon as I signed in, and started my wash. I told him I wanted something a little different than my usual.

  “Miss Thing, I know you ain’t trying to cut all this pretty hair.”

  “No, I don’t want to cut it, but maybe add some color.”

  “Oh, ’cause I was fixin’ to say, girl, I’ll cut the hell out of it. Humph, you’ll still be a diva either way, but don’t worry, girl. I got you,” he said.

  I wasn’t worried, because Ardie was the best, and three hours later, a few shades lighter, and a couple of streaks, I was definitely feeling fierce. I even tipped girlfriend fifty dollars, which was a stretch from the usual fifteen. I felt too cute to go home just yet, so I headed to Macy’s on Thirty-fourth to do a little shopping.

  * * *

  I reached home a little after six and called C on his cell to let him know that I was home. Then I decided to check the messages on my cell and answering machine. Most of my calls were from Keisha. She was calling to see if I was okay, because she hadn’t heard from me. There were also two messages from my dad, calling to tell me and
remind me about the big bash he was throwing for my Mom’s fortieth birthday, which was the next day.

  Oh, shit! I had forgotten all about her birthday. I spoke to her after we had that argument, but that was over a month ago. I quickly dialed my father’s cell phone and gave him a song and dance about how I was working as a customer service rep for a cellular phone company and my hours had been hectic. That was why I took so long to get back to him, but I would be there, and if he needed me to bring anything, he should just let me know.

  Daddy always seemed to fall for whatever I told him, but not this time. I sensed some real anger in his voice.

  “I know you’re grown, but your mother and I feel you should come around or call more often than you do. I’ve been calling you for damn near three weeks and you’re just getting back to me. Anything could have been wrong, Epee. This shit has to stop. The only time we hear from you is when you need something, and since that job is keeping you so busy, let him pay your car note and your rent from now on. I’ll see you at the party.” Click. A dial tone was all I heard.

  I couldn’t believe he’d just said that to me. Shit, I didn’t need him or his money, and what he didn’t know was any job I was fucking with was paying my bills. Daddy’s check went straight to the bank. Shit, that was one thing Mommy did do right. She ain’t raise no fool. She always told me to get it while the getting was good, so when it stopped, I’d have. And that’s exactly what I did. I deposited the check Daddy gave me every month in the bank. Then, when it cleared, I withdrew it and put it in my safety deposit box. Keisha put me on to the safety deposits, because if you have more than $10,000 in the bank, they will report it to the IRS, and then they’ll be all up in your business. So to avoid that, a deposit box was better. I ain’t gonna say how much I had saved up, but let’s just say if it ever rained or poured, I was good!