The Sheisty Saga

by T. N. Baker

  We departed the room at the same time. After I turned in the room key, Julius walked me to my car and kissed my forehead. (You see there, I got the forehead kiss. That definitely meant it was over.)

  I reached in my purse for my cell phone and noticed I had three missed calls, all from home, and no messages. The first call had come nearly two hours earlier. To me that was strange. Why not leave a message?

  I called home to see if every thing was okay. My sister answered on the first ring.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey, who’s this? Keely?” I asked, not able to tell the difference between the two because of their strong southern accents.

  “Nah, dis ain’t Keely. Dis Kelly. Girl, where you at? Big T was looking for you. I think he was mad ’cause nobody ain’t know where you was. Ma told him to call you. He said he did but you ain’t answer your phone.”

  “Is he there now?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. He mighter left.”

  “Well, where’s my son?” I said, getting a little aggravated because she didn’t know the answers to any of my questions.

  “Oh, li’l T sleeping. You fixin’ to come home soon?” she asked.

  “Yeah, I’m on my way now.” I hung up the phone, thinking of a good excuse to come up with.

  My nerves were starting to act up. How could I go home and face him knowing I just finished letting another man fuck my pussy? Maybe I should call him, I thought. No, I wasn’t gonna call him. I was gonna go to the mall and grab a couple of things for the baby. That way I could say I was depressed about the wedding, so I went shopping. Yeah, that was a good idea. Plus, he knew my piece of shit phone didn’t hold a good signal in the mall.

  I was confident that my excuse would work, so I rushed to the mall and hit Baby Gap. I even grabbed a few items for myself, ’cause the regular Gap was attached. After spending three hundred dollars, I was ready to go home.

  When I got there, I didn’t see Tucker’s car. I pulled into the driveway, and guess who was waiting to greet me at the front door? Tucker.

  “Hey, baby,” I said, not wanting to get too close because I wasn’t sure whether or not I smelled like sex or had dick on my breath. I could tell he was furious before he even opened his mouth.

  “Where you been at, Keish?” he asked in a mild mannered tone as if he wasn’t upset.

  “What?” I replied. Might as well see the ugly come out and get it over with.

  “What? Oh, now you don’t understand English. Where the fuck was you at all day, Keish? You couldn’t even call to check on our son or answer your motherfucking cell phone? Huh? Answer the question.”

  See, didn’t I say it was about to get ugly? “Tucker, if you stop yelling and calm down, I’ll answer your question.”

  “I’m listening,” he said.

  “I was at the mall.” I hoped I didn’t look like I was lying.

  “Keisha, you wasn’t at the mall for no six hours,” he said, giving me that “I ain’t buying it” look, but that was my story, and I was sticking to it.

  “Look, Tucker, I’ve been out shopping all day, and I just wanna take a shower and go to bed. Besides, what are you doing here? I thought it wasn’t safe for us if you were here,” I said sarcastically.

  “Just hurry up and take your shower, ’cause I got something I want you to see,” Tucker said, flashing a fake smile.

  You know what? l don’t even wanna know, I thought as I rushed into the bathroom, relieved that he didn’t push the mall issue that much. All I wanted to do was freshen up and get through the night without Tucker asking me for any coochie, because two dicks in one day ain’t cool, and if I said no again, he might really get suspicious.

  When I got out of the shower, I dried off, threw on some sweats, a tee, and no body perfume or nothing. I wanted to look as unattractive as possible. I wrapped my hair, threw on a scarf, and went downstairs to make sure all the doors were locked. My sisters had the spare set of keys, so no one had to worry about listening out for them when they got home from the movies that night. Then I took a peek into the guest bedroom, where my mom and the baby were knocked out asleep. The last stop was my bedroom. I opened the door, and instantly tears started to fill my eyes when I saw Tucker sitting on the edge of the bed, watching the videotape of me giving my body to another man.

  Chapter 44

  C-GOD

  It was a quarter after ten and I sat in my Hempstead apartment fucked up, my nose buried in a pile of coke to numb the pain after receiving a call from Reggie about Mike, his girl, their son, and his girl’s moms all getting murdered not even an hour before. Reg said he just had spoke to the nigga and they was gon’ get up and go shoot a game of pool up on Flatbush Ave, but when he swung by the crib to get the nigga, the door was half open. He went inside, but before he could get far, he spotted Mike’s baby moms, Angie, lying less than four feet away from the door, with her son in her arms, both dead. Her moms caught one sitting in the chair by the window. Bullet went throw the right lens of her eyeglasses, and Mike must’ve been taking a shit when niggas ran up on him, ’cause he was sitting on the toilet in the bathroom, lit up with bullets holes.

  “Yo, son, the TV was up mad loud, so if they screamed, the nigga probably thought that shit was coming from the fucking tube. Man, I ain’t call no cops or nothing. I just broke out, ’cause yo, shit was ugly, son. Mike’s gone, and whoever did it, did my man and his fam dirty.”

  Those words hurt me to my heart as I hung up the phone, needing a minute to make sense of what the fuck I just heard.

  Mike was my li’l brother, my soldier, the head nigga in charge under me. Out of all the niggas I put on, I had love for that nigga big time. The one thing I couldn’t figure out was how niggas knew where he was resting his head at in Brooklyn. Mike was too fuckin’ paranoid, and at the same time too smart, to let a muthafucka follow his ass. He stayed with his guards up at all times.

  My mind was boggled. I opened a bottle of Hennessey and poured a little out on my hardwood floor, reminiscing about the fun and the drama me and Mike shared together. “To my nigga, my muthafuckin’ Lieutenant Ike,” I said, letting go a smile as a tear trickled down my face. Niggas used to call Mike’s ass Lieutenant Ike ’cause that nigga ain’t have no problems with beating a bitch’s ass. He ain’t care where they was. If the bitch pissed him off, he was fucking her up Ike-on-Tina style, no doubt about it.

  I laughed at that thought then took a swig from the bottle and said, “I got you. I’ma kill that muthafucka Tucker, his mans, and whoever hang with them faggots. That’s my word, son.”

  I then made a call to Ness, another li’l crazy-ass nigga on some ’bout-it, ’bout-it shit. I put him on a while ago. I liked dude, but he couldn’t take the place of Mike. Still, he was thorough. Besides, I knew what niggas in my camp to call when it was time to get at muthafuckas—the ones with heart, ’cause some of them was straight pussy. Like, for instance, Reggie. He was good for making runs and a couple of dollars doing the hand to hand thing on the block, and even playing chauffeur when I entertained the bitches, but when it came to his murder game, the nigga just wasn’t cut out for it.

  “Yo, nigga, I know you heard about Mike, right?” I asked.

  “Yeah, man. That shit is fucked up, yo. What up?” said Ness.

  “That muthafucka executed my man and his fam, yo.”

  “So, how you wanna handle shit?” Ness asked, already down for whatever.

  “Yo, just tell niggas it’s time to get on they grind, ’cause we need to find them niggas tonight. I don’t really give a fuck how y’all handle his mans, but that nigga Tucker, I wanna deal with his ass personally, starting with his bitch and the nigga’s kid. I’ma do him like they did Mike, only worse. So yo, after you kick it to the fellas, I want you to meet me over on 137th and Guy R. Brewer, a’ight. And come strapped.”

  “Cool. Yo, is that where that nigga rest at?”

  “Nah, this bitch I used to fuck with live over there, but she cool with his peoples,
so she the bitch that’s gon’ give up his information.”

  “Yo, a’ight, I got you. I’m on it,” Ness said, quickly hanging up the phone.

  * * *

  Ness was on point. He did exactly what he was told. When he arrived on 137th, he spotted me chilling in a beat up li’l white Ford Taurus that I usually used to take runs in. He parked his car behind me, walked to the passenger side, and got in.

  I was zoning out, listening to Biggie and 112 singing “Missing You.” We sat in silence until the song was over, then I snapped back into rare form, and the plan was murder.

  I made a right onto 137th Street and crept down to the middle of the block. Making a complete stop, I spotted a red Navigator parked in front of Epiphany’s crib with the license plates that read LIVELIFE. Right away I knew that was Tucker’s right hand man.

  I was heated, because even though I had done my dirt to Epiphany, I still felt like she belonged to me, and the fact that she was fucking with that nigga made matters worse.

  I started thinking back to the night that Mike, Epiphany, and me hung out, and whether I dropped the nigga off in Brooklyn at his baby moms’ crib, or possibly to one of his other chicks. I couldn’t remember.

  Well fuck it. That’s two birds with one stone. She better be ready to die with this clown-ass nigga, I thought.

  “Yo, Ness, look under the seat and give me that thing.”

  Ness reached under the seat, pulled out a Smith and Wesson, and passed it to me. Then he checked the clip on his shit to make sure he was fully loaded.

  “Yo, you ready, son?” Ness asked.

  “Yeah, just hold up a minute. I got that bitch keys somewhere in this car.”

  “Yo, how that happen?” Ness asked.

  “I was at her crib earlier, arguing with her stupid ass, so I took them shits just to be spiteful, and now look. These shits came in handy.”

  “Word, yo, that’s what’s up,” Ness said, impress- ed.

  “Got ’em, yo. Let’s do this,” I said. I stuck the key in the door, unlocked it, and opened it slowly.

  I heard laughing and talking while Prince’s “Do Me Baby” played. I was gon’ do them, a’ight. Ness followed behind as I quietly crept down the small hall leading to the living room.

  Chapter 45

  EPIPHANY

  Great. This was what it boiled down to, me having to give Mali a lap dance off Prince just to get some. Damn, see what a girl had to do just to get a li’l dick—and I do mean little. I ain’t mind, though, because just like old times, we were having fun. I had him for the whole night. Just like he was putting me to work, payback was gon’ sure be a pain in his back when I got him in my bed, I thought as I turned around toward him. I froze in shock because of what—I mean who—I saw standing behind Mali.

  Before I could react or say anything, they shot him in the head. His blood and parts of his brains splashed all over me. I covered my face with my hand, afraid and hurting at the same time. I didn’t scream. As a matter of fact, I was in complete shock. My body trembled all over. I just stood there while C-God ordered his boy to check my bedroom and the bathroom.

  Peeking through my fingers, I saw Malikai’s lifeless body slumped over on the couch as blood seeped from the hole in his head. I couldn’t believe what was happening. The pain I was feeling for Mali was much greater than all the pain I had ever felt before in my life.

  C-God started kicking my stereo system, trying to shut Prince up, while calling me every name in the book. I was a stink bitch, a trifling ho, and then a chickenhead. Every disrespectful word you can think of, I was. I just stood there thinking about how bad I wanted to kill his muthafuckin’ ass.

  Then he grabbed me by my hair and forced me to my knees. He had the nerve to call me a sheisty-ass bitch for fucking around on him, and I wasn’t even with his ass. He went on, saying I helped Tucker and Mali kill his boy. He then put his gun to my head. Tears poured down my face as I cried like a baby. I wasn’t ready to die. I tried to release the words from my mouth, but couldn’t find my voice. I tried again, and this time I was able to speak. I had to if I wanted to live.

  “I swear I don’t know who or what you’re talking about, and I didn’t have nothing to do with nothing. Please don’t do this C.”

  “Bitch, shut the fuck up!” he yelled, knocking me completely down to the floor and kicking me so hard in my pussy. He demanded to know whether or not I slept with Malikai.

  “Ouch!” I cried out in agony as I placed my hands between my legs, trying to ease the pain. I turned to my side and lay in a fetal position, crying and screaming, “Please don’t hurt me! Please.”

  Thoughts of me fucking Malikai sent C-God into a rage. He started to lose focus on the real reason he was there. “Did you fuck him? Huh, did you?” He wanted an answer right away.

  “No, I swear I didn’t,” I cried out.

  “Shut up, you fucking lying-ass, trick-ass bitch! If I ain’t come in here when I did, that dead muthafucka would’ve been up in that ass. You wasn’t up in here dropping it like it’s hot for nothing. Now tell me I’m wrong. Huh? Tell me I’m wrong.” C-God didn’t wait for me to answer his question. He just started kicking and punching on me like he was crazy.

  I lay there with my eyes shut, balled up, trying to shield myself, wishing I could just make it over to the sofa cushion where my piece was stashed, so I could kill this bitch-ass nigga.

  Out of nowhere, I heard his boy say, “Damn, son, you fuckin’ that ho up. She’s prettier than a muthafucka too. Word. Yo, son, you should let me hit that before you kill her,” Ness suggested, knowing the only way he could ever get close to even smelling my pussy was if my life depended on it.

  I could tell C didn’t like that proposition very much by the look on his face, and I guess Ness could too, ’cause he quickly excused himself. “Yo, I’ma be in the front if you need me, dawg, a’ight.”

  C-God didn’t respond. I was relieved that he left, but afraid that C was gonna continue kicking my ass. I knew I had to act fast before this nigga fucked around and killed me for real.

  “Yo, E, listen. If you tell me where your friend Keisha live at, I promise I won’t hit you no more.” I guess that was his idea of playing fair.

  I took a minute to think. I thought about how important my life was to me. I didn’t wanna die. I probably hadn’t been the best person or friend I could’ve been, but I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to Keisha, my godson, or Tucker because of something I did. I just couldn’t. Oh, God, please help me out with this one!

  “I don’t know where she lives,” I said, tightly shutting my eyes, shielding my face with my hands and waiting to die. He grew furious, but he didn’t hit me.

  I knew he didn’t really want to kill me, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t. It was obvious that this nigga still had feelings for me. If I was right, then hopefully my plan would work, I thought as I grabbed my stomach and screamed like I was in excruciating pain. At first he wasn’t buying it.

  “You think I give a fuck about your pain? My boy and his family is gone because of that dead nigga right there”—C-God pointed his gun at Mali’s body—“and his punk-ass man. So either you gon’ tell me what I wanna know or yo, you gon’ wish we never fucking met. The choice is yours,” C-God said as if he was through negotiating.

  “I don’t know!” I cried. “Please, baby, just listen to me. I swear I don’t know. Keisha ain’t spoke to me in over a month. She kicked me out of her wedding, moved, and changed her numbers because of you, because I chose loving you over my friendship with her. Then you hurt me. You hurt me bad, choosing Tanya over me.

  “And the only reason I had Malikai over here was to see if I could butter him up for her information. That’s the truth. I just wanted to find out where Keisha is, because I need her. She’s the only one I can talk to, and I knew she would convince me to keep it. Aaahh,” I moaned in an over-exaggerated tone of agony.

  Clutching my stomach, I kneeled down and
whispered, “I don’t wanna lose our baby.”

  “Baby? What baby?” C-God inquired.

  “Oh, God, it hurts,” I cried before I told him that I was four weeks pregnant with his child. Like most niggas, his first response was, “How you know it’s mines?”

  “I know it’s yours ’cause I ain’t been with nobody but you since I started fucking with you. If you don’t believe me, just look at my papers from the clinic, there in my purse over on the table. I’m four weeks. Do the math, C-God.”

  I was hoping I’d get the opportunity to get to the cushion, but he didn’t go for my purse. He just stood there looking in my face to see if he could tell whether or not I was sincere, and I did my best to convince him, ’cause I was sincere all right; sincere about making the bastard pay. I was gonna act my ass off if it meant saving my life, and that’s what I did.

  C-God finally broke his silence. “So why you ain’t tell me about the baby before now?”

  “I just found out about it a week ago. I wanted to tell you, but I also wanted us to be together. Then you came over here calling me names and talking about Tanya being better than me, so after all that, how could I tell you? C-God, I’m so sorry to hear about Mike. I really . . . I am, even though I didn’t care much for him. I would never wish bad on him, because he’s your friend and I love you so much,” I said as I started to boo-hoo like crazy.

  It worked! The award for best actress of the year goes to me, Epiphany Wright, for playing on a nigga’s emotions, I thought as he fell for the okey doke.

  “Yo, shit is fucked up right now. I’m fucked up. Mike’s gone, and I gotta make shit right for my nigga. Word . . . I got to. I didn’t want to hurt you, yo. I really didn’t! I just snapped when I seen that nigga up in here.

  “I ain’t even gon’ front, ma. I got mad love for you. Now you telling me you got my baby inside you after I done put my hands on you and shit. How you think that’s supposed to make me feel, huh? Damn, E, why you ain’t tell me? What if you lose my seed?”