Someone to Trust
Page 14
“Don’t change the subject,” Seth snapped, then he took a deep breath. “Pamela and I are walking out together. I may be courting her in earnest before they leave. We get along amazingly well. Your turn.”
“Esther and I have been working long hours, and I think the strain got to us. We finished enough pieces to take to the farmers market tomorrow, and the relief went to my head. Maybe to hers, too. I didn’t intend to kiss her—it just happened.”
“Now that it has, what next?” Asher asked. “You are the one who warned us that Waneta was intent on getting husbands for the girls while they were here. Are you sure you aren’t being manipulated?”
Gabe scoffed at the idea. “Nee, Esther doesn’t want me for a husband.”
Asher gave him a hard look. “What makes you say that?”
“Because I’m not deaf. She believes only a deaf man can understand all that she endures and enjoys in her silent world.”
Seth laid a hand on Gabe’s shoulder. “I think it’s time the two of you revisited that assumption, because she didn’t look like she cared if you could hear or not.”
“I’d love to have that conversation, but I’m not sure I can make her understand all that I want to tell her.”
* * *
Esther sat on the edge of her bed in her damp clothing. She had one hand pressed to her mouth as if she could hold on to the feeling of Gabe’s lips against hers. Why had he kissed her? Why had she let him? They were so wrong for each other. How, then, could a kiss feel so right? It had been perfect in every way. Her heart soared at the memory and then plunged to the pit of her stomach when she realized she had no idea what to do next.
She was startled when Julia sat down on the cot across from hers. “What’s the matter?” she signed.
Esther took one look at her sister’s concerned face and burst into tears. Julia moved to Esther’s side and gathered her close, patting her back until Esther’s sobs abated. Esther scrubbed away her tears with both hands. “I’m sorry I’m being so silly.”
“Gabe?” Julia signed.
Esther didn’t question how Julia had guessed the cause of her distress. She simply nodded.
Julia took both of Esther’s hands in her own and leaned forward to make sure Esther could see her. “Tell me.”
“He kissed me.”
“Was it awful?”
“It was wonderful.”
Julia sat back with a puzzled expression on her face. “Then why the tears?” she signed.
“He’s not the man I want to be in love with,” she said.
“Who is?” Julia signed.
“I don’t know, but Gabe shouldn’t be the one who makes my heart beat faster.”
Julia shook her head. “Esther, you are not the one who decides that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Gott decides our partners for life. He chooses. We can say yes or no to that decision. We have free will, but surely we must put our faith in His plan for us if we are to live as He desires.”
“I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do or what to say to Gabe now.”
“Foolish little sister. One kiss does not mean you must marry him. It means the two of you are drawn to each other. Give yourself a chance to see if he is the right one or not. Open your heart to Gott’s plan. Don’t turn your back on it because it isn’t the path you think you want.”
“How do I face him?”
“I would suggest you start by changing into dry clothes and then come down for supper the way you always have.”
“You mean pretend the kiss didn’t happen?”
“I mean act like it isn’t the end of the world or the end of your friendship with Gabe. See what he has to say with an open mind. I know you like him.”
“I think I’m falling in love with him.”
“Then give him a chance. The two of you have worked very hard to make a success of his business. Don’t let him down now.”
Esther nodded and then threw her arms around her sister. “You’re so wise. How did you get that way?” She drew back to look at Julia’s face.
“Trial and error.”
“I saw you with Danny Coblentz Sunday evening. Do you like him?”
Julia’s eyes suddenly snapped with anger. “Not in the least.”
Shocked, Esther laid a hand on Julia’s arm. “What happened?”
“I discovered that we aren’t suited. Nancy and Pamela seem to have found happiness here. Waneta will have to be content with that.” She stood and left the room.
Esther chided herself for being wrapped up in her own feelings and not paying more attention to her sister. She had often accused her siblings of the same thing. It wasn’t gratifying to discover she had the same flaw.
After changing, she went downstairs in time to see everyone heading into the kitchen. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She would act like it wasn’t the end of the world or of her friendship with Gabe. She could do that.
Maybe.
She went into the kitchen and took her place at the table opposite Gabe. She forced herself to smile. Everyone bowed their heads to pray except for him.
“Are you okay?” he signed.
She kept her smile in place. “I am. Thank you.” She folded her hands and closed her eyes.
After a minute, Nancy nudged her to signal the prayer had ended. Esther kept her eyes on her plate for the rest of the meal, ignoring any conversation that might have gone on.
After the meal ended, the men filed out of the kitchen and into the living room. The women made quick work of the dishes and the cleanup and soon followed the men. Nancy went to sit beside Moses. Pamela and Seth joined the couple, where they began playing a board game pitting the boys against the girls. Asher was reading. Zeke had a book beside him but was dozing in his favorite chair. Julia was stitching another purse lining. Waneta and Talitha were both knitting and conversing at a small table in the corner. Gabe sat by the window with Jonah perched beside him on the arm of his chair. There was nowhere left for her to sit except across from Gabe.
Act like it’s not the end of the world or the end of our friendship, she repeated to herself and sat in the chair. There was a book on birds beside it. She opened it and began reading about the birds of Florida. After a few minutes, she glanced up to find Gabe staring at her.
“Jonah, teach me some new words. What is the sign for ‘I apologize’ or ‘I’m sorry’?”
“That’s an easy one. Close your fist with your thumb outside. It’s also the letter A. Bring your hand to your chest and make several circles.” Jonah demonstrated. Gabe took his time making the gesture slowly.
Gabe repeated it several times while keeping his gaze fixed on Esther. “What about ‘please forgive me’?”
Jonah glanced between Gabe and Esther as if he wasn’t sure what was going on. “Hold one hand palm up and stroke it away from yourself with the tips of the fingers on your other hand. Like this.”
“How do I say, ‘you’re forgiven’?” Gabe asked, looking at Esther.
“You’re forgiven,” Esther signed before Jonah could show him.
Jonah frowned at her. “Gabe asked me to teach him,” he signed quickly.
“Then I am sorry, too,” she said softly and signed it.
A faint smile curved Gabe’s lips as he nodded slightly in her direction. “Jonah, show me how to say, ‘we should talk about it tomorrow.’”
She focused on the book she held, refusing to think about the way his lips had touched hers only a little while ago. “Gabe, did you know that flamingos are gray but they turn pink because of a natural pink dye called can-thax-an-thin? I think that’s how you say it. They get it from the brine shrimp and blue-green algae they eat.”
She glanced at him. His grin widened. “I did.”
She went back to her book. “Birds are
interesting creatures.” She slanted a glance his way.
“Almost as unique as flowers.” He held her sketch pad toward her. “You forgot this in the garden. I brought it in last night.”
“Thank you for rescuing it before the rain.”
“Do you have any new sketches for leather decorations in here?”
“Actually, I do.”
“May I see them?”
She scooted her chair closer to him, took the sketch pad and opened it. She skipped past the drawings of his mouth, but she was sure she was blushing, anyway. When she reached the drawings she’d made of the roses, she held the book for him to see a couple of the items that she had envisioned. “I thought a single rose on a leather key chain might be something that would sell.”
He considered it for a few seconds and then nodded. “I like the idea.” Then he signed, “We should talk about it tomorrow.”
Esther was sure he didn’t mean her sketches.
Chapter Thirteen
Esther didn’t sleep much that night. She woke early and went downstairs to the kitchen. Gabe was the only other person up. He had the coffee can and the percolator in front of him by the sink.
“Let me do that,” she said.
He stepped aside. She couldn’t bring herself to look at his face. She was too nervous about what he would say. She couldn’t bear it if he said he regretted kissing her. She would treasure the memory of those few moments for the rest of her life.
After spooning in the grounds and setting the percolator on the stove, she finally faced him. He was sitting at the table in his usual place turning an empty coffee mug around and around in his hands. He looked more nervous than she felt. In that moment she took pity on him. She hadn’t considered that this might be difficult for him, too.
Pulling out her chair, she sat down, propped her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. “I believe it is tomorrow. Did you have something you wanted to say?”
“I had it all rehearsed in my head, but sitting across from you now, I realize that is not what I really wanted to tell you.”
“Gabe, it was a nice kiss. Plain and simple.”
His eyebrows shot up. “I thought you would be angry with me.”
“Surprised, but not angry. As someone recently reminded me, a kiss does not mean we are going to get married. If you are worried that I am expecting a proposal this morning, I can assure you that I’m not.”
“I honestly didn’t know what I thought you were expecting from me today. I care for you a lot, Esther.”
“And I feel the same. You have become a very dear friend. If we let it, a simple kiss could make things awkward between us. I don’t want that.”
“I wouldn’t call it a simple kiss.”
She crossed her arms on the tabletop. Didn’t he realize he was making it harder for her? “It was short but sweet.”
“You’re being very mature about this.”
She was glad he thought so, because she wasn’t feeling that way. She was shaking on the inside. “I could wring my hands and wail if you want.” Oh, so easily.
* * *
Gabe relaxed for the first time since he’d left the barn with his brothers the night before. “Nee. I’m pleased with your attitude. I got carried away yesterday. I’m not going to say that I regret it, because I don’t. I won’t lie to you. I’ve thought about it more than once. You are a very attractive woman. But you are also my friend, and the last thing I want is for my lack of self-control to jeopardize that friendship.”
She remained silent, and he wasn’t sure why. “Did you understand what I said?”
“You start talking too fast when you have a lot to say. I got most of it.”
“I could write it down for you if you’d like.”
“I think the important part was that you don’t want what happened to affect our friendship. Am I right?”
He thought the main point was that he’d considered kissing her before. Either she hadn’t understood that part or she was choosing to ignore it. Whichever it was, he’d probably do best to follow her lead. “Absolutely.”
She nodded and stood up. “Then we won’t let it affect us. We still have some work to do to get ready for the farmers market today. We need to price the items and then pack them. We need to take enough money to make change and something for lunch, unless you want to eat at the market. Is there anything else?”
He held up his empty cup. “Can I get some coffee first?”
She grinned. “I reckon you may.”
She took his cup and moved to the stove.
Gabe let out a sigh of relief. The morning was turning out so much better than he’d expected. Esther wasn’t angry with him. She still intended to help him with his business, and he was going to have the pleasure of her company until she and her family left Maine after the Potato Blossom Festival. It was more than he deserved.
The one thing that nagged at him was how easily she dismissed the moment they’d shared as a simple kiss. For him it had been anything but simple. Perhaps she didn’t care for him the way he’d hoped she would. As a friend, yes, but he wanted to be more to her.
It didn’t take them long to price and load his merchandise. Because it was his first time at the market, he had no idea how much he could reasonably expect to sell. Taking a lot might mean coming home with a lot, and he didn’t want that. He still had his hopes pinned on the festival to generate the most income, but Esther was right. He couldn’t depend on a single event to maintain his business. If Jefferson had purchased the harnesses he had talked about, it would’ve made all the difference. Instead Gabe was left trying to nickel and dime his way through his family’s financial difficulties.
After loading the boxes in the back of the small wagon, Gabe climbed up and held his hand out to assist Esther. She hesitated, and his spirits sank. While she might claim their kiss hadn’t affected their friendship, he could see that it had.
She took a step back. “I almost forgot my sketchbook.”
She hurried to the house and returned a few minutes later with her quilted satchel over her shoulder. She smiled up at him and held out her hand.
“I doubt you will find any wildflowers to draw,” he said.
“Perhaps not, but I can show customers other items we can make for them and even how we might personalize them.”
He happily took her hand and helped her up. If his venture was a success, it would be due to her business savvy and determination.
The trip into Fort Craig took nearly an hour. He had decided to drive one of the draft horses. Olive was a dappled gray Percheron. She wasn’t as fleet of foot as Topper, but she was impressive wearing the parade harness he had made for Jefferson. The more people who saw Gabe’s work, the more likely he was to find a customer for the piece.
The area set aside for the market was in the parking lot of a restaurant that had closed several years before. When they reached it, Gabe saw there were already dozens of folding tables covered in red checkered tablecloths arranged around the perimeter along with tents and wagons. There were signs for everything—straw bales, seasonal vegetables, local pork products, honey, eggs, herbs, flowers, baked goods, handmade jewelry and even fresh-brewed coffee.
He stopped Olive beside Michael Shetler’s tent. Olive pawed the pavement with her huge steel-shod hooves, making a loud clatter. When she tossed her head, the bright diamond-shaped chrome dots on her bridle flashed in the sunlight. It wasn’t long before she began drawing admirers.
Michael and Bethany stepped out of their tent. “I confess I’m a little jealous, Gabe. I wish I had a clock the size of your horse to advertise my merchandise.”
Gabe chuckled. “She is more fidgety than our other horses. I thought her color would show off the harness nicely.”
“It does.”
Bethany helped Esther down from the wagon seat. “
Welcome to our farmers market.”
Gabe was pleased to note that his friend’s wife was speaking slowly and looking directly at Esther. He wanted Esther to feel comfortable in an unfamiliar place. He needn’t have worried. She and Bethany went straight to the flower stand.
Michael helped Gabe get his makeshift table of hay bales and wide boards set up beside the wagon. Esther returned with several small pots of flowers. “I thought your mother might like these for her garden.”
“That’s very thoughtful. I’m sure she will. Do you feel uneasy working beside me?”
“Gabe, I already told you that what happened isn’t going to make a difference in our friendship.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “That’s not what I meant. Are you going to be comfortable dealing with customers?”
“Oh.” Her cheeks blossomed bright red. “Of course. I will just make sure people know that I’m deaf and that I have to read their lips. I must warn you that many of them will shout at me when they learn that. You may have to learn to ignore it.”
“Thanks for the warning.”
Olive did her job of attracting people to Gabe’s area. He spent more time letting children and adults pet her and answering their questions than selling his leather pieces. Esther did the bulk of the work behind the table. A few times he had to step in when she couldn’t understand what the customer was asking. The men with bushy beards she couldn’t read at all, but for the most part she did well without Gabe’s assistance.
They had been at the market for almost two hours when he heard a familiar voice. “Mr. Fisher. How nice to see you.”
Heather, the nurse from the clinic, came up to the table with a group of kids and adults. She smiled at Esther. “This is my husband, Randy, and our children, Frank, Carmen and Sophie. These women are Polly and Frances Minor. Friends from the School for the Deaf in Portland. They’re visiting our hobby farm this week,” she said as she signed.
The little boy tugged on her skirt and signed something. Heather nodded.
Esther came around from behind the table, knelt in front of the children and began signing. Her smile was bright, her motions larger and more energetic than Gabe had seen before. It was as if she had suddenly been let out of a small box. The women with Heather were equally animated and fluid in their signing. In that moment he realized ASL was a true language, not simply a string of hand motions. Even with her sisters she wasn’t this expressive. Her family was always reserved when signing.