KATE GOSSELIN: HOW SHE FOOLED THE WORLD - THE RISE AND FALL OF A REALITY TV QUEEN

by Robert Hoffman

  Kate frequently signed off in her emails with a “Thanks! Have a gr8t day!” The last line in her emails was often the tag “Sent from my PINK iPhone”. I have set the separate email subjects apart from one another with spaces above and below. Thanks! Have a gr8t day!

  On August 1, 2006, an Ohio University student sent an email to the info@sixgosselins.com address to suggest that Jon and Kate apply to be on Extreme Makeover/Home Edition. “Abby T” addressed her note “Dear Gosselins.” She said she had watched their story and was “truly touched” by their family, love and strength. Abby went on to say that their children are “beautiful and so adorable” and that Jon and Kate are “amazing and funny as well!” She told them that they are “so deserving” and “so sweet that viewers would melt.” Abby then provided the website address to the ABC casting department in case Jon and Kate wanted to apply.

  This poor young woman’s heart was in the right place. Little did she know, however, that her idea would fall victim to Kate’s disdain. Jon got the email and forwarded it to Kate, who got a good laugh out of Abby T’s sincere suggestion. When she replied to Jon, Kate mockingly said that the girl obviously doesn’t understand the world of television. She followed that with a “Thanks but absolutely no thanks!!!!!!!” and a derisive “HAA HAA HEE HEE.”

  In an email dated Monday, November 27, 2006, a representative named Liz from the 32 Flavors Public Relations company forwarded an email to Kate from a book agent who wasn’t interested in Kate’s book proposal. The book agent, a woman named Laurie, thanked Liz for thinking of her, but said that after checking out Jon and Kate’s website, she decided it wasn’t quite right for her. Laurie said it was a good story, but it was “not particularly unique,” and she had seen a lot of book proposals like theirs.

  Liz apologized to Kate that it didn’t work out, telling her, “geez I didn’t think it would go this way.” Kate brushed off the rejection saying, “Ha- she obviously doesn’t know how rare we are!” The book was later reworked by Beth Carson into the Christian love story, Multiple Blessings, and the rest is history.

  Still in November of 2006, Kate sent an angry email to Jon for, well, just being Jon, I guess. She told him she was “sooooooooooooooooo frustrated” with him, and that she “begs and pleads and begs some more” for him to do things around the house that she can’t do. She asked him why he couldn’t see that he had to help with more than just the daily stuff in order to keep the house running smoothly, because then everybody would win. Kate also told Jon not to take the “lazy approach,” and informed him that if he helped more, she would be happy, which meant that everyone else would be happy as well, including him. She threatened that she was “not going away,” so he could either do the stuff she asks or “live miserably!” and ended by saying, “You choose!” She signed it “me”.

  On December 31, 2006, Jon forwarded Kate an email that he had received the day before from the coordinator of something called the “MOST” forum. (MOST stands for Mothers of Supertwins.) The forum coordinator, “Patti T,” asked Jon if he would post something to introduce himself and his family on the forum at http://www.mostonline.org/MostBB/viewtopic.php?t=92. It is not clear why Patti T’s email annoyed Kate, but her curt response to Jon about it is offensive. Kate said, “These people are retarded!”

  In March of 2008, Kate sent Jon a list of ways the kids should help at home. She also included a Gosselin Family Mission Statement and listed principles based on the statement. Kate did not preface her letter with a “Hi Jon,” or even a small greeting. She simply greeted him with the dictatorial command, “Here’s what I want.” She instructed Jon to write out the items on her list and include a picture to describe the task next to each item. These are the 10 Ways To Help at Home that Kate listed:

  1. Clean up toys.

  2. Sweep floor after meals.

  3. Turn off lights when I leave a room.

  4. Make my bed.

  5. Brush my teeth.

  6. Put things where they belong.

  7. Put dirty laundry in hamper.

  8. Put my shoes away and hang my coat.

  9. Empty trash cans.

  10. Straighten bathroom.

  This is the Gosselin Family Mission Statement:

  “We the people of the Gosselin Family

  do dedicate ourselves to

  telling others about God’s love.”

  Kate said that two basic principles were established through the mission statement:

  1. Love and honor God and others.

  2. Be thankful for our blessings.

  She then listed eight (of course) limits based on those principles:

  1. Honor mom and dad by obeying them.

  2. Trust God always and completely.

  3. Honor God by remembering their blessings and choosing to be thankful for each other

  and what they have.

  4. Honor each other by choosing to love, be patient with, and help one another.

  5. Honor the family by always choosing family first before other opportunities.

  6. Honor the family and God by choosing to speak positive and encouraging words even when they don’t feel like it.

  7. Love others by sharing what they have with those in need.

  8. Realize that God built their family with the exact members for His purpose! Enjoy their unique qualities individually and as a whole to contribute to their family!

  Reading Kate’s lists as they pertained to the Gosselin Family Mission Statement, it is glaringly obvious that the principles and limits she listed applied to everyone in her family except herself.

  On May 26, 2008, Jon forwarded Kate an email from “Larry W,” a fellow who was trying to be nice by offering the Gosselins information about a full-tuition scholarship opportunity in Arkansas. He told Jon that he and his wife were big fans of their show, and that he was a member of the El Dorado Promise Marketing Committee. He explained that “E.P.” is a full-tuition scholarship funded by Murphy Oil Co., which is headquartered in El Dorado, and that any student who graduates from the El Dorado School District is eligible. Larry said he had heard Kate mention on the show about possibly being interested in relocating, and thought that free college tuition for eight kids would be a good reason to move to a great southern town that would welcome them with open arms. Larry W then provided contact information.

  Kate could have replied to Jon about the email in any number of polite ways to indicate she wasn’t interested. Instead, her words to Jon in dismissing the information were snide and uncalled for, and most certainly would have been hurtful to Larry W if he had heard them. Kate told Jon, “Yeah, ok. Let’s become the Duggars neighbors-yeehaw!!!!!”

  Not many people do “rude” quite as well as Kate does. (As an additional observation, in looking through all of Kate’s emails and journal ramblings, she seemed to be very jealous of the Duggars and threatened by their wholesomeness.)

  Kate had some very specific demands for accommodations and meals while traveling. These are some particular stipulations she submitted to Wendy Douglas from Discovery for their stay at the Essex House in New York City. Kate told Wendy they had security concerns and layout concerns at other hotels, but in the “spirit of partnership” they were “willing to do the Essex House again” as long as her stipulations were met. It is really nice that Kate was “willing” to stay at the exclusive Essex House at Central Park for free. (I invite you to check out the prices of rooms and suites at the Essex House for some perspective on this.) This is a list of Kate’s stipulations:

  Accommodations: Kate asked for the same suite setup they had the last time they stayed, but with an additional king room “DIRECTLY NEXT DOOR” to the suite setup. Kate also specified a room number, and indicated it was the floor the spa was on. She adamantly stated that “A room down the hall even one room further will not work!!!!!”. She also said she would need an additional rollaway bed in the suite.

  Meals: Kate said the room service menu selection for breakfast would be fine. Sh
e specified the following exact menu items for lunches for two days, and dinners for two or possibly three days:

   Wednesday dinner: Kobe beef tips cooked medium to medium well; steamed broccoli; mashed potatoes; French fries; organic blueberries; and vanilla ice cream. Kate asked that a mixed green/grilled chicken salad option be provided for the adults. She listed these ingredients to be used in the salad: grilled chicken, cucumber, tomato, sliced strawberries or pears, feta cheese crumbles, pecans and a balsamic vinaigrette dressing.

   Thursday lunch: Homemade macaroni and cheese with mild white cheddar and small shell pasta; French fries with honey mustard sauce; carrots and celery sticks; apple slices; and chocolate chip cookies (with a mixed green/grilled chicken salad option for the adults).

   Thursday dinner: Hamburgers (sliders); cheeseburgers (sliders); hot dogs; chicken fingers with honey mustard sauce; French fries; onion rings; dill pickles and steamed seasoned green beans on the side; and vanilla cake with vanilla icing (with a mixed green/grilled chicken salad option for the adults).

   Friday lunch: Peanut butter and grape jelly on wheat bread (Kate specified whole grain bread with no “obvious” grain in it); potato chips; fruit salad with blueberries, bananas, apple, grapes, strawberries, kiwi, and pineapple; Monterey Jack cheese cubes; and oatmeal raisin cookies. (With a substitute for the adults of ham and cheese sandwiches on wheat with lettuce, tomato and onion and horseradish spread; and a mixed green/grilled chicken salad.)

   Friday dinner (if they were still there): Pizza - cheese, pepperoni, onion and green peppers in different configurations; French fries; steamed broccoli; and chocolate brownies (with a mixed green/grilled chicken salad option for the adults).

   Kate requested these additional specific items from Whole Foods in the main suite only:

  10 Organic bananas; 4 boxes organic blueberries; 4 packages organic cheese sticks; 2 boxes organic “Ritz” crackers; 2 six packs Yo Kids (Stonyfield Farms) organic yogurt; 1 pack organic peanutbutter cookies; 3 bottles organic lemonade; 1 gallon organic pulp-free orange juice; 2 gallons spring water; 2 packages of individually packaged cookies; 2 packages of individually packaged peanut butter crackers and/ or cheese crackers.

  Kate then thanked Wendy and told her that having these things would alleviate some of the stress of traveling! She then very graciously told Wendy that, as always, “we really appreciate you!!!!! :)”.

  On June 9, 2008, some poor guy named Tony, who was the North American Sales Director for Cutco Logo Gifts and a paying advertiser on the Gosselin website, sent Jon and Kate an email simply requesting that they change his web address on their website. You know, so the money he was paying to advertise on their site might actually do him some good. He asked that they please change the website they had listed at the bottom of his ad from www.cutco.com to http://www.mycutcorep.com/TonyCxxxxxxx.Even though Tony asked politely and said “please” and “Thanks,” his request irritated Kate. She commented to Jon that “He’s annoying me!” and told Jon, “But do it to get rid of him!”

  On June 22, 2008, Kate sent an email to Wendy Douglas of Discovery, with copies to Jon, Julie Carson May (Kate’s manager), and Jen Stocks (a producer/writer/director at Figure 8 Films, which was the company that filmed the Gosselins for TLC) to complain that Jon’s name was misspelled on a TLC television promo. Jon’s name certainly should not have been spelled incorrectly, but Kate went berserk over it. She shouted that Jon’s name was “MISPELLED” as “John” on “a TLC promo … A tv promo!!!!” and said “Sorry but that is completely unacceptable!!!!”. (Oh, what would Kate do without her beloved exclamation points?) She is like a bull in a china shop. She could have softened her approach just a bit when communicating with the network that was paying her salary and supporting her family.

  Wendy thanked Kate for letting her know about the problem and told Kate she would tell TLC marketing right away so they could take care of the situation.

  Kate thanked Wendy for working on it. She said she always gets annoyed when fans use the “h” when writing the name of the show, and then “the dreaded happened..... I actually saw it misspelled on TLC…” In a postscript, Kate also thanked Wendy for having a “horrible fan pop site removed!!!!!!”

  On June 26, 2008, Kate received an email from a gentleman named Michael expressing how excited he and his wife were when they spotted some toys they had sent to the Gosselin children in the background of an episode of Jon & Kate Plus Ei8ht. Michael said they were thrilled to see that the kids had received them and seemed to enjoy them. He then told Kate that he and his wife were celebrating the recent birth of their 3rd child “…same name as one of yours- Aaden.” He gave Kate their phone number and said that if she ever had a spare moment, his wife would love to chat and introduce herself.

  It is understandable that Kate should be extremely careful when dealing with strangers, but that certainly didn’t stop her from accepting their gifts. Her greatest annoyance was that the gift-givers spelled their child’s name the same way as one of Kate’s boys. Kate complained, “These are the people that sent us the christian toys..... notice they used our spelling of Aaden...how annoying...fans naming their kids our kids names!” Apparently, Kate thinks the names she chose for her children should have been retired, never to be used for another child again.

  In August of 2008, Jon and Julie May exchanged emails to discuss letting a customer, Colleen, know about a change in advertising opportunities on the Gosselin family website. Kate was not happy about how Jon was handling the situation, so she got a tad bit testy. She scolded Jon, saying “You need to do this on your own and stop bothering Julie with stupidity!” Kate then gave Jon specific instructions to explain to the customer that their “new, updated site does not have the same opportunities or space for advertising at this time.” She instructed Jon to let Colleen know that they would not bill her for June-August, but the site was going to switch over within the week. Kate then told Jon to write, “Thanks for your support. We have enjoyed working with you!”.

  On December 23, 2008, Julie May forwarded an email to Kate from Jeff Lanter, the new series producer. Jeff wanted to touch base with Julie to let her know that 100% of his attention would be focused on the series. He said his first priority was getting the production team in “the right mindset.” He also said he understood that “Jon and Kate are celebrities,” and that they are extremely busy and have a family to raise, so he would be looking for ways to make their lives easier regarding the production of the show.

  Jeff assured Julie that anyone new who would be joining the team would have a history of working with him or their team over the last 15+ years, and they would all have the same mindset and commitment to the show. He also commented on his relationship with the network, stating that he didn’t always see eye to eye with it. He said he agreed to take on the series producer role only if he could speak freely and not always feel the need to toe the party line.

  Jeff also explained that there would be many situations when he would whole-heartily agree with Jon and Kate, but there would also be times when they wouldn’t see to eye to eye. He said that in cases where something wasn’t working, they would simply find a way to change it.

  Jeff informed Julie that he wanted to set up a dinner with Jon and Kate to discuss scheduling, communication, the crew, and what was and wasn’t working from their standpoint. He also asked for her help with scheduling a time to “re-shoot” the “All You Wanted To Know” interview. (Author’s note: Doesn’t everybody “re-shoot” their lives like this in “reality”?) He closed by saying he was looking forward to working on the series in a new role.

  After Kate read Jeff’s email, she replied to Julie, saying that it sounded like Jeff really wanted to do a good job. But she was suspicious about how he could “suddenly surface and become so ever present?!” Kate said, “Don’t trust them...Any of them. Period. A dinner AFTER their trial month... Maybe.”

  In a postscript to that email, Kate told Julie that some netwo
rk amendment was signed, but Jon had forgotten to scan and send it before he went out with his friends. Kate said, “I’ll nag again tomorrow about it!”

  On December 29, 2008, Jon forwarded an email to Kate from a woman named “Phyllis M,” who was the registrar for the Triplet Connection, which is an organization for parents of higher multiples (defined as triplets or more). She was inquiring about Jon and Kate’s availability and rates for a possible speaking engagement at a convention in Philadelphia in July of 2010.

  Phyllis introduced herself as the mother of “3NQuads,” which means she had “3 children and wanted a fourth,” but “oops we got 4 (now age 22) !!!!!”. (I have to wonder aloud here whether there is some strange side-effect of birthing multiples that compels those moms to use multiple exclamation points as well.) Phyllis gave a brief history of the Triplet Connection and explained how she had become involved as a way to give back to the organization, which she believed gave her valuable information and help with her quadruplets.

  This speaking opportunity sounds like just the kind of thing Kate would have jumped at, but for some reason, she was completely dismissive of it. In her usual polite manner, Kate replied to Jon with a “Blah blah blah… No thanks” and said it could get them in “biggg trouble!” It is unclear how this particular engagement could get them in “biggg trouble!”. Maybe it’s because the people attending the convention would have far greater knowledge and wisdom to impart about multiples than Kate could ever have.