Jubilee's Journey

by Bette Lee Crosby

  I can’t imagine what a terrible burden it must be for Anita, carrying around a guilt such as that.

  Thinking It Through

  Olivia put the letters back into the bag, zipped it shut, and set it in the floor of the living room closet.

  But putting the bag away didn’t erase thoughts of the letters. Anita’s words remained in her head, and the more she mulled them over the more convinced she became that not only did Jubie need her aunt but Anita needed her sister’s child.

  Olivia thought back on all the times she’d argued with her own sister. In the heat of anger she once told Geraldine she detested the sight of her face and never again wanted to lay eyes on it. The name-calling and angry glares lasted for almost two days and disrupted the entire household. It finally ended when their mother said she’d disown both of the girls if they didn’t stop that infernal arguing.

  When Olivia remembered the hatefulness that had passed between them, she felt a stabbing pain shoot through her heart. Her hand flew up to her chest, and she fell back into the chair. “Lord God, what if Geraldine had died in the midst of all that?”

  It was a question, but Olivia already knew the answer. She would gather all five of Geraldine’s children to her bosom and treasure them as if they were her own. Anita would surely feel the same. Olivia could almost see the joy in the sister’s eyes when she met the delightful little girl she had never known. A sense of excitement began to surge through Olivia. It was the thrill of bringing such happiness to someone who, for now, was a stranger.

  After Jubilee dried herself and climbed back into the wrinkled dress, Olivia suggested they go downtown and pick up something for her to wear.

  “You’ll want to look your best when you meet your Aunt Anita.” She then went on to describe the wonders that awaited. “Aunt Anita will want to take you everywhere: to the circus, to the zoo, out to lunch…”

  Jubilee looked up with the right side of her face twisted in an expression of doubt. Her eyebrows were slanted and her mouth pulled up. “That don’t sound right to me.”

  “Doesn’t sound right,” Olivia corrected. “And what doesn’t sound right?”

  “All of it.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “This Aunt Anita don’t even know me. Why’s she gonna do all that stuff?”

  “Because you’re her niece, her sister’s child. Aunties always love their little nieces.”

  The crinkled map of doubt spread across Jubilee’s face. “That ain’t what Paul said.”

  “Isn’t what Paul said,” Olivia corrected. After a year with Ethan Allen she’d developed a habit of doing it without thinking. “Why? What did Paul say?”

  “He don’t know if Aunt Anita is gonna like us.”

  “Nonsense,” Olivia poo-pooed the words. “She’s your aunt, your mother’s sister!”

  “Yeah, and that’s why she ain’t gonna like us.”

  “No,” Olivia said emphatically. “That’s the reason why she’ll not just like you, she’ll absolutely love you!”

  Jubie shrugged, but she still wore that crinkled look of doubt.

  It was a twenty-minute drive to Kline’s Department Store. On the way Olivia questioned Jubilee about what type of clothes she would like. “Dresses,” Olivia suggested. “Pink, maybe, or pale maize.”

  “Whatever they got is fine with me,” Jubilee answered.

  “You’ll also need undies and some pajamas.” For almost a full five minutes Olivia counted up the things Jubilee would need. She even added a new suitcase to carry the clothes to Auntie’s house, once they’d found her.

  Jubilee listened wide-eyed, and when it seemed Olivia was done with listing all the necessities, she asked, “What about Paul? What’s he gonna wear?”

  A jolt of reality shot through Olivia. After Charlie died she’d learned to set aside bothersome problems, relegate them to a spot in her mind that served as a storage closet, a place to put things that were not being used but impossible to get rid of. For a brief while she’d locked the missing brother in that closet, but now he was hammering to get free. “Ah, yes, Paul,” she said. “Well, first we’ve got to find him—”

  “He don’t need finding!” Jubilee said with an air of exasperation. “He ain’t lost! He’s working! He’s coming back to where I’m supposed to wait!”

  “Well, perhaps Paul had to go somewhere else,” Olivia said softly. “Maybe he wants to come back but can’t.”

  “He’s not somewhere else! He’s coming back!”

  Jubilee turned an angry face to the window, and in the reflection Olivia saw a solitary tear slide down her cheek.

  They rode in silence for several minutes. Then Olivia said, “How about this? We’ll get you some nice new clothes today, and when Paul gets back we’ll buy him some new clothes too.”

  Jubilee turned to Olivia with a smile. “Really?”

  “Yes, really.”

  Kline’s was having their first-Thursday-of-the-month sale, and just inside the door were several rows of colorful dresses. “What size are you?” Olivia asked.

  Accustomed to shopping at the company store and settling for anything that looked big enough to last two or three years, Jubilee shrugged. “I dunno. What size they got?”

  Olivia eyed the girl, then pulled a size five from the rack. “This looks about right.”

  “Ain’t it kind of small?”

  Olivia looked at the dress again, then looked at Jubilee. “Turn around,” she said. She measured the dress against Jubilee’s back. “No, I think a size five is just right.”

  “I’m still growing,” Jubilee warned.

  Olivia chuckled. “I know that but by the time you’ve outgrown the size five, you’ll need new dresses anyway.”

  They left Kline’s with six dresses, ten pairs of lace-trimmed socks, embroidered panties for each day of the week, two pink nighties, and a pair of black patent leather Mary Janes. Jubilee was wearing a red-and-white check pinafore and the Thursday panties. After stopping at Woolworth’s for lunch, they started home.

  Perhaps it was because she was busy thinking of the time and wanting to get back before Ethan Allen came from school, or maybe it was because she had drifted into remembering her own nieces and nephews who were now grown with families of their own. Regardless of the reason, Olivia drove home without considering what route she should take. They were traveling west on Main Street when Jubilee let out an ear-piercing yelp.

  “Stop!”

  As she slammed her foot down on the brake, Olivia realized why. They were in front of Klaussner’s. She eased the car to the side of the street and turned off the motor.

  With a petrified look on her face, Jubilee pointed to the bench. “It’s gone.”

  “What’s gone?”

  “The note of where I am.”

  “Maybe the wind blew it over by the grass.”

  “No.” Jubilee sniffed. “Ethan put a rock on it.”

  “Let’s go have a look.” Olivia climbed out of the car, circled around, and opened Jubilee’s door. “Come on,” she said, extending her hand.

  With tears already overflowing her eyes, Jubilee looked at the empty bench and shook her head sorrowfully. “It’s gone.”

  The sadness in her voice made her words seem old, like those of a woman who had lived too many years and lost too many loved ones.

  “We’ll write a new note,” Olivia suggested. “And we’ll tape it to the bench so it can’t blow away or get lost.”

  Jubilee shook her head again. “Unh-unh, I gotta stay here.” She scooted onto the bench and sat with her feet dangling above the ground.

  Olivia sat down beside her. “Well, if you stay here, then I’ll just have to stay here with you, because I can’t leave you here alone.”

  “Don’t worry. You can leave me alone. I’m big enough.”

  Olivia was looking down at a miniature-sized version of herself. She remembered the lonely times when she was too independent to allow someone else into her life. If she
had it to do over, would she do it the same way? Probably not. Being brave on the outside was a lot easier than being lonely on the inside.

  “I know you’re big enough,” she said. “But friends don’t run off and leave each other.”

  There was no response.

  After two full minutes had passed, Olivia asked, “We are friends, aren’t we?”

  “I suppose so.”

  Without another word they sat side by side on the bench for almost two hours. When Jubilee began to fidget—scratch one leg and then the other, lean forward, lean back, puff the skirt of her dress, then smooth it out—Olivia figured it was time.

  “I really do think taping a note to the bench would work fine,” she said.

  “If it rains, the writing will wash away.”

  “I’ll write it in pencil. Pencil doesn’t wash away.”

  “It don’t?”

  “Doesn’t,” Olivia corrected.

  “What if Paul don’t see the note?”

  “I’ll make it big. If he comes back, he’ll have to see it.”

  Jubilee shook her head doubtfully. “I don’t know.”

  “Why don’t we try it?” Olivia suggested. “I’ll get some paper and tape. We’ll make a new note and tape it to the bench. Then if you don’t think it will work, we’ll stay here and wait.”

  “If I don’t think the note’s big enough, you’re gonna stay here with me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay then.”

  “Do you want to stay here and wait while I get paper and tape?”

  Jubilee nodded.

  When Olivia started walking toward the stationery store a block down, Jubilee called after her, “You’re coming back, aren’t you?”

  Olivia stopped and looked over her shoulder. “Of course I am,” she said, then turned and kept walking. She couldn’t see the smile on the girl’s face, but she knew it was there.

  When Olivia returned, she had a yellow legal-sized pad and a fat pencil. “Okay now, what do you think we should say?”

  Jubilee tilted her head, thought for a few moments, then answered. “Dear Paul,” she began. “You gotta say dear, ‘cause then he’ll know I ain’t mad at him for being gone so long.”

  “Okay.” Olivia printed in large bold letters.

  Jubilee went on to say that she’d waited just as she’d been told, but when it got cold and dark she went home with Ethan Allen. She paused a moment then asked, “You think we ought to tell Paul that Ethan’s a kid like me and he’s off a farm?”

  “I suppose so,” Olivia answered. Her words had the sound of sincerity, but inside her heart she suspected the missing brother was not going to show up. Why, she wasn’t sure. But something was telling her Anita and only Anita had the answer.

  Three times Jubilee changed her mind about what was best to say, and three times Olivia tore off the page and started a new note. Once it was finished, Jubilee suggested they add stars to the four corners of the paper. “Paul puts stars on my papers when I do good, and this way he’ll know I’m doing good.”

  Once the stars were added, Olivia wrapped tape twice around the bench to make sure the note would hold. Jubilee nodded her approval, and they started for home.

  Olivia wondered if somewhere deep inside Jubilee suspected the same thing she did. Before they reached the corner, Olivia bounced back to talking about the delights that would come with Aunt Anita. “I just know she’ll have a dollhouse for you…”

  As Olivia made a right onto Park Street, she saw Jubilee turn back for one last look.

  Jubilee Jones

  I ain’t never had six dresses at one time. And I sure ain’t never had underpants with the day of the week spelled out so you don’t get mixed up and wear Tuesday’s pants on Wednesday. Much as I like having all this stuff, I gotta say it seems a bit wasteful. Ain’t one of them dresses gonna fit me, come next year.

  Watching Miss Olivia spend money like she had a bucket of it got me thinking about what Paul said. He’s right, city people is a whole lot different. Not bad different, but sure enough different.

  Miss Olivia is doing her best to make me feel better, and I was having a nice enough time ‘til I saw my note gone from the bench. That’s when I got scared; real scared. What if Paul came back when I wasn’t there? What if he got mad on account of I didn’t wait like he said? All this while, I been thinking he’s coming back. But what if he’s done been here and gone?

  I don’t care if I have to give back all the dresses and everything. Stuff like going to the circus or having a dollhouse is real nice, but I’d a lot rather have Paul carrying me home on his back. I’m bigger now and maybe I’m too big for carrying; maybe that’s why Paul ain’t coming back. It could be he’s tired of having a kid sister bothering him all the time. I pray that ain’t it.

  While Miss Olivia and me was sitting on the bench, I got to studying the store Paul’s supposed to be working in, and I got a real bad memory in my head. A long time ago, when Daddy was alive, he showed me a place with that same yellow tape. “Keep out” it said. When I asked Daddy why we had to keep out, he said it was because the roof caved in and killed a whole bunch of people. “Don’t you ever go in a place closed off like that,” he said. And I didn’t.

  Miss Olivia said I shouldn’t worry about Paul. She said we’ll get to finding him, soon as we find Aunt Anita.

  I’m thinking we ought to be looking for Paul and just forget about Aunt Anita.

  The Bad Place

  When Olivia and Jubilee arrived home, Ethan Allen was lying on the living room floor with his head resting on Dog and his nose buried in a Captain Marvel comic book. “Is your homework done?” Olivia asked.

  “Sort of.”

  Knowing this was Ethan’s way of circumventing a no, Olivia told him he could play with Jubilee for a little while but to plan on doing homework after dinner. She crossed to her bedroom, hung Jubilee’s dresses in the closet, then closed the door and dialed Clara’s number.

  “Did you find out anything?” she asked.

  “No. I called all the Walkers, even the ones you’d already called. Not one of them knows an Anita. That Hiram, he’s a nasty old buzzard. Claims if we keep bothering him about Anita, he’s gonna call the police.”

  “I think Hiram’s the one who hung up on me last night,” Olivia said. Then she asked about Seth Porter. “Did he tell you anything more than what he told me?”

  “Nope. But he did say if somebody reports the girl kidnapped, you’re gonna be in for a lot of trouble and he wants no part of it.”

  “Oh, dear,” Olivia said. “Why would he think—”

  “You know how Seth is,” Clara snorted. “But he’s right, you do have to find this kid’s aunt and give her back. Once you do that, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Are you sure the aunt’s name is Walker?”

  Olivia started to say yes, but then she stopped and thought. Jubilee was only seven. What if she mistook her mama’s sister-in-law for sister? If such was the case, Anita would then be related to Jubilee’s dad.

  “The name might be Jones,” Olivia said.

  After nearly twenty minutes of discussion she and Clara agreed they had to check out all the Joneses in Wyattsville. It was a list four times as long as that of the Walkers, so they were going to need some help.

  “Maybe we could ask Barbara Conklin,” Olivia suggested. “I brought over a lovely chocolate cake when her daughter came to visit, so she should be willing to help.”

  “Of course she will,” Clara said. “Fred will too.”

  Caught up in the moment, Olivia said, “If we ask all the neighbors to help out, I’ll bet we could find this Aunt Anita in no time.”

  “I wouldn’t go asking everybody,” Clara warned. “Jim Turner’s on the Rules Committee, and he’s still complaining about Ethan Allen running through the hallways. If Jim finds out you’ve got another kid in here…” She didn’t have to finish the sentence.

  “I see what you mean. We’d best keep it quiet.”

/>   Once it was decided who would be asked to help, Olivia said she would take Jones A through F and Clara agreed to divvy up the remainder.

  Olivia looked at the clock. Six-fifteen already. The A through F Joneses were longer than a page, so it would have to be a quick dinner. Then she’d start calling.

  As she hurried through the living room, she heard Ethan Allen and Jubilee talking.

  “Three tens beats your kings and queens ‘cause they ain’t matching,” Ethan said.

  “You sure?” Jubilee then asked how much she owed him.

  Before he could answer, Olivia interrupted the game. “Ethan Allen, are you and Jubilee playing poker?”

  He shrugged and gave a sly grin.

  Jubilee looked up with smile. “Ethan’s learning me how.”

  “I bet he is!” Olivia began gathering the cards from the table. “Ethan, get that set of checkers. Poker is no game for little girls!” Olivia could already imagine Aunt Anita tsk-tsking the thought of her niece learning to gamble. She made a mental note to pick up something more appropriate. If they wanted to play cards, it would have to be Old Maid.

  “Jeez, Grandma,” Ethan complained, “it ain’t like we was playing for real money.”

  Once supper was over, Ethan settled down with his homework and a tired little Jubilee slipped her new nightie over her head and climbed into the spot where Charlie once slept. That’s when Olivia started telephoning Joneses. She was only halfway through B when the clock struck ten and she shooed Ethan off to bed.

  By eleven-thirty two people hung up the receiver before she could ask about Anita and the F.L. Jones on Oak Street said there ought to be a law against ringing the telephone late at night and scaring people to death.